Content

• Steps
• Advice

Take a deep breath. Stop everything you're doing, and find a quiet place to calm down. Get yourself out of stress. Focus on breathing slowly and evenly. If you can't easily stay calm, try distracting yourself with things that calm your mind: listening to your favorite music, taking a hot bath, or running. Above all, remember that this situation will pass. Calmness will return in time.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Immediate Calm method

1. 

   Stop doing. One of the best ways to stay calm is to stop exposing yourself to what's upsetting you. For the time being, this means telling the person you're talking to that you need a break. If you're at work, politely apologize. Go to a quiet place away from things that are upsetting you and focus on your calm thoughts.

2. 

   
   
   Concentrate awareness. When you are anxious, upset, or angry, your body is in a state of "running away or fighting". The sympathetic nervous system pushes the body to high levels by activating certain hormones such as adrenaline. These hormones increase heart rate and breathing, muscle tension, and constriction of blood vessels. Avoid stressful things and focus on what your body is going through. This can help you live in the moment and reduce your chances of "acting uncontrollably".
   • "Uncontrolled action" occurs when the brain develops habits in response to a stimulus, such as stress. The brain activates these habits when a stimulus is encountered. Research shows breaking this response cycle by focusing on the feelings you are experiencing really helps brain to form habit new.
   • Don't judge what you are going through, just acknowledge them. For example, if you get really angry about what other people have said, your heart will beat faster, and your face will be red or hot. Acknowledge these emotional details, but don't judge them as "false" or "right."

3. 

   
   
   Breath. When your emotional nervous system is triggered by stress, one of the first things you need to have is calmness, including breathing. Focus on taking deep breaths and both of them have many benefits. It restores the body's oxygen levels, modulates brain waves, and lowers blood pressure. These help you feel calm and relaxed.
   • Breathe through your diaphragm, not your chest. If you put your hand on your abdomen below your ribs, you may feel your abdomen rise as you inhale and fall down on your breath.
   • Sitting upright, standing, or lying upright helps to help chest comfort. It will be harder to breathe if you don't do the right posture. Breathe in slowly through your nose when you count to 10. You should see your lungs and belly bulge when they're full of air. Then, slowly exhale through your nose or mouth. Take 6-10 deep breaths per minute.
   • Focus on breathing. Try not to be distracted by anything, including how angry you feel. You can count your breath if you find yourself distracted, or repeat words or phrases that help you calm down.
   • As you breathe in, imagine the beautiful golden light of love and acceptance. Feel the pleasant warmth of the light covering your lungs to your heart, and then spread through your body. As you slowly exhale, imagine all the tension leaving your body. Repeat 3-4 times.

4. 

   
   
   Relax your muscles. When an emotional response or stress occurs, the muscles in your body become tense. You may feel a real "pain." Progressive muscle relaxation, or PMR, can help your body consciously release stress by tensing and relaxing special muscle groups. With a little practice, PMR can help you overcome stress and anxiety quickly.
   • There are many free tutorials on the PMR method online. MIT has a free 11-minute tutorial on PMR.
   • Find a quiet and comfortable place. It should be dark there.
   • Lie or sit in a comfortable position. Open or remove tight clothing.
   • Focus on specific muscle groups. You can start from the toes up, or start from the forehead downwards.
   • Tense up all the muscles in the group as much as possible. For example, if you start with your head, raise your eyebrows all the way up and open your eyes wide. Hold for 5 seconds, then relax. Close your eyes tightly. Hold for 5 seconds, then relax.
   • Move on to the next muscle group. For example, purses your lips tightly for 5 seconds, then relax. Next, laugh out loud for 5 seconds, then relax.
   • Continue with the rest of the muscle groups, like neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, buttocks, thighs, shins, feet, and toes.

5. 

   Distract yourself. If possible, distract yourself from being interested in the things that are upsetting you. If you allow yourself to be mindful of the things that upset you, you may get into over-thinking, where you think about something over and over again. Repetition increases symptoms of anxiety and depression. Distraction are not it should be a permanent solution, but it's a good way to get your mind out of trouble long enough for you to calm down. After that, you can go back and solve the problem with a clear head.
   • Chat with friends. Communicating with people you love will help you forget about making you uncomfortable and help you feel comfortable and loved. The study showed that the rats that were communicated with each other had less stress ulcers than the mice alone.
   • Watch a funny movie or a funny TV show. "Silly Jokes" can help you stay calm and distance yourself from unpleasant things. However, try to avoid bitter and sarcastic jokes, as they can make you even more angry.
   • Listen to soft music. Look for music that is around 70 beats / min ("New Age" classical and pop music like the Enya genre are good options). Anger or fighting will only make you more angry, not less.
   • See pictures that make you feel relieved. Humans are biologically inclined to find small things with big eyes - like puppies or babies - cute things. Look for pictures of kittens that can cause the "happy" chemical reaction.
   • Go somewhere and shake your hands and feet, like a wet dog. “Shaking hands and feet” can make you feel better because it lets the brain process new emotions.

6. 

   Use self-soothing. Soothing yourself can help reduce stress and anxiety right away. They focus on soothing and nice to themselves.
   • Take a warm bath or shower. Research shows that physical warming has a soothing effect on many people.
   • Use a calming oil, like lavender or chamomile.
   • Play with your pet. Petting a dog or cat can help soothe and even lower blood pressure.

7. 

   Soft touch. When people are caressed and cuddly, the body produces oxytocin, which creates strong emotions. Alternatively, you can get this encouragement with a friendly hug (or make love to your lover), you can soothe yourself.
   • Put your hands in front of your chest. Warm focus on skin and heartbeat. Breathe slowly and evenly. Feel your chest rise as you inhale and lower as you exhale.
   • Give yourself a hug. Place your arms around your chest and place your hand on the top of your arm. Gently squeeze. Watch for warmth and force in your hands and arms.
   • Put your hands on your face. You can rub the muscles in your jaw or near your eyes with your fingertips. Hand through hair. Massage the scalp yourself.
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Method 2 of 3: Improve composure

1. 

   Check out your eating habits. Body and mind do not exist in isolation. One has a direct impact on the other, and the same is true of your diet.
   • Reduce caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant. Too much caffeine makes you feel restless and anxious.
   • Eat foods high in protein. Protein keeps you feeling full for a long time, and keeps blood sugar from dropping or rising throughout the day. Fat-free proteins like chicken and fish are great options.
   • High-fiber complex carbohydrates can help your brain produce serotonin, the happiness hormone. Good options include whole-grain bread and pasta, brown rice, beans and lentils, fruits and vegetables.
   • Avoid foods high in sugar and fat. They can make you more stressful and uncomfortable.
   • Limit alcohol intake. Alcohol is a pain reliever, so it may make you feel better at first. However, it can also cause symptoms of depression, making you feel like you are on the verge of being on the edge. Alcohol interferes with your restful sleep, making you more likely to get angry.

2. 

   Do exercise. Exercise helps to produce endorphins, the body's natural "fun" hormone. You don't need a toned body to have this effect. Research shows that just moderation, like walking and gardening, can help you feel calmer, happier and more relaxed.
   • Exercises combined with meditation and gentle movements, such as tai chi and yoga, have shown positive effects on anxiety and depression. They can help relieve pain and increase feelings of happiness.

3. 

   Meditate. Meditation has a long and admirable history in Eastern traditions. Scientific research shows that meditation can increase relaxation and emotional well-being. It could even replicate the way the brain processes external stimuli. There are many types of meditation, although "mindfulness" meditation is one of the most recommended.
   • You don't even have to go out to learn meditation. MIT has a ton of downloadable meditation MP3 files. So is the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center).

4. 

   Think about what makes you angry. Tensions can form so slowly that we don't even realize them. In many cases, one big problem doesn't lose your temper, but a mountain of petty annoying annoyances accumulate over time.
   • Try to differentiate between the primary and secondary emotions. For example, if you make an appointment to see a friend at the cinema but she / he doesn't show up, you'll probably feel hurt right away. That is the primary emotion. You will then feel depressed, frustrated, or angry. That is the secondary emotion. Knowing your emotional origins can help you understand why you are experiencing these emotions.
   • Usually, you can have multiple emotions at the same time. Try to organize what you are feeling and give each emotion a name. Once you name your emotion, you'll learn how to deal with it better.
   • One common reason people feel angry is that they believe things right going in a certain direction (usually in their direction). Note that you never have control over everything in your life, nor should you be.
   • Do not judge emotional responses. Accept and try to understand them.

5. 

   Avoid angry situations when possible. Obviously, never getting angry is impossible. Going through unpleasant or troubled emotions and problems is part of being human. However, if you are able to remove stressors from your life, you will be better able to handle the inevitable.
   • You can be "smarter" in unpleasant situations. For example, you're stuck in traffic during rush hour - and so are everyone? - You might consider leaving earlier or being late for work, or find another way.
   • Find the good side. Rearranging frustrating issues to learn from can help you stay calm because you are giving yourself strength. Instead of just happening with You, the problem can be what you can use to learn for the future.
   • If someone is annoying you, think about why. What exactly are their attitudes troubling you? Are you behaving like them too? Trying to understand the other person's motivations can help you avoid anger. Remember, we are all human, and we all have bad days.

6. 

   Express your feelings. Inherently there are no emotions that are not good, including anger. Thing may Not being good is ignoring or repressing your emotions instead of acknowledging them.
   • Acknowledging your feelings does not mean you feel depressed or guilty about yourself, or that you are angry and angry with others. Instead, acknowledge that you are human, and going through those emotional chains is natural for humans. Your emotions happen, and they shouldn't be judged. Your response to emotions is what you are responsible for.
   • Once you acknowledge your feelings, think about how you can react. For example, it's natural to get angry if your contribution on a big project goes unnoticed, or if your partner is unfaithful to you. However, you have a choice between letting your anger flare up, or using the techniques outlined in this article to calm yourself down and handle your feelings carefully.

7. 

   Spend time with people who calm you down. Research shows that people tend to let other people's emotions "influence" them. The anxiety level of the people we spend time with can affect us. Spend time with people where you feel comfortable and at peace, and you will find yourself calmer.
   • Try to spend time with people you feel empower you. Emotions of isolation and criticism can increase stress.

8. 

   See a therapist or counselor. It is a common belief that you must have a very large “problem” to see a specialist, but that is not the case. A therapist can help you handle your emotions and learn to deal with everyday anxiety and stress in a healthy and productive way.
   • Many organizations offer medical services and counseling. Contact your local clinic or health center, hospital, or even a private service provider.
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Method 3 of 3: Handling an Angry Situation

1. 

   Practice STOPP. STOPP is a convenient acronym to help you remember to stay calm in a situation. It has five simple steps:
   • Stop (Stop) your transient responses. "Automatic thinking" is thinking habits that we are so used to in our lives, but they are often harmful. Stop what you're doing and wait a while to react.
   • Breath (Take a breath). Use the deep breathing technique in this article to take a few deep, light breaths. You will think more positively after that.
   • Observe (Observe) what's going on. Ask yourself what you are thinking, what you are focusing on, what you are reacting to, and what emotions you are experiencing in yourself.
   • Drag (Pull back) me out of the situation. Look at a bigger perspective. Are you thinking in fact, or from point of view? Is there any other way to see the situation? How did your reaction affect others? How do I want others to react? How important is that really?
   • Perform (Practice) effective things. Examine the consequences of your actions, for you and for others. What is the best way to handle this? Choose the most useful way.

2. 

   Careful personalization. A common distortion in our thinking habits is personalizedwhere we allow ourselves to accept responsibility for things that are not our responsibilities. This can lead to feelings of anger and anger, because we cannot control the actions of others. However, we can control our reactions.
   • For example, imagine a colleague often angrily shouting at you for something. This anger is understandable. It is not the correct manners. Now you have a choice: you can either react spontaneously, or you can stop and think about what really might happen.
   • His natural reaction might be, “He must be mad at me. What did I do? I hate this! " Understandably, though, this reaction really doesn't calm you down.
   • A more helpful response would go like this: “He shouted at me. This is bad, but I'm not the only one he yells at, and he gets out of control easily. Maybe he's dealing with something in life. Or maybe he was a hot-tempered person. I don't think I did anything wrong in this case. It's not fair for him to scold, but it's not my problem ”. These statements admit you feel angry, but focus on avoiding being obsessed with it.
   • Note that being mindful of personalization is not the same as accepting insults. It is perfectly correct to talk to your boss about your colleague's unpleasant behavior. However, always reminding yourself that you cannot control what others do and that they are usually not yours, you can learn to calm down more quickly.

3. 

   Conversation steering avoids controversial issues. The sure way to get angry is to talk about topics that you understand well and the other person equally well understood with conflicting points of view. If you feel like you are able to effectively discuss with others, that's good. If the conversation sounds like two one-to-one monologues, try moving on to a topic of less disagreement.
   • It may not be comfortable to suggest a change of subject, but the relief of stress and pressure is quite worthy of temporary embarrassment. Don't be afraid to take responsibility and say things like “You know, looks like we have to admit our disagreement on this subject. Why don't we talk about last night's basketball game? "
   • If the person continues to talk about something that bothers you, apologize and leave the conversation. You can use a phrase that contains "I" to avoid sounding reproachful: "I feel overwhelmed by the topic. You guys keep talking, but I think I need to go somewhere else. ”
   • If you really can't get out of the situation, you can let your mind get out of the conversation. Imagine you are in a quiet place. This should be used only as a last resort, because it is often obvious that you are not really listening. It could be offensive or offensive to someone else.

4. 

   Avoid negative things. Showing too much negativity can actually cause problems with the way you think, learn, and remember information. Repeatedly displaying negativity causes the brain to form a habit of negative thinking. While it is common to complain at work or at school, be careful not to let it become too frequent, otherwise you will find yourself more upset than you think.
   • The problem is really bad if someone complains to you about something that makes you feel wrong. You can become angry if you are hurt. However, there may be no way to correct your mistake, which can be frustrating and frustrating.
   • Like most emotions, complaints and negativity are contagious. Even 30 minutes of stress listening to someone complaining can raise your cortisol levels, a stress hormone that makes it harder to calm down.
   • Instead, try to think effectively about the problem. It's normal to feel depressed when things get bad. Temporal release can be helpful. However, it is more helpful in the long run to think about what you can change in a given situation to do better next time instead of just focusing on the bad things that happened.
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Advice

• Using the bathroom is a great bypass for a quick break, and you can make time for yourself without disturbing visitors.
• When something good happens, put that moment, event, or happening into a picture of your soul. When you are stressed, you can recall happy things, such as successfully passing a test, your cat lying on a laptop, and so on.
• If you like tea, enjoy a good cup of tea. Tea contains L-theanine, which improves mood and promotes emotional calm.Avoid caffeinated tea; Caffeine is a stimulant and can make you more stressful.