Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

When you are in love, you might feel insecure about your relationship with your girlfriend at some point, and it is quite common. It is usually quite obvious when people want to end a relationship, but sometimes it is difficult to understand their behavior. If you think your girlfriend wants to break up, observe her behavior as objectively as possible. Then, if you are still not sure what she wants or if she doesn't seem to want to take the initiative to get straight to the point, talk to her about the status of the relationship.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Observing your girlfriend's behavior

1. 

   Pay attention to how often she is in contact with you. This may not be a sign that she wants to break up, but if she texted or called you every day and now rarely contacted, and didn't respond when you called, it might be. signs of instability.
   • Don't rush to conclude. First, think about what's going on in her life. Is she preparing for an important exam or is her family struggling? Has she just started a new job? There may be other reasons why she is contacting you less than before.

2. 

   
   
   Make a plan with her. If she loves you, then she will love to plan with you. On the contrary, she would feel reluctant to do so. If you offer to do something on a Friday night and your girlfriend says she'll be back to see you on a Friday afternoon, that's a good sign she is expecting something more compelling.
   • Remember, if this happens only once, it is unlikely she wants to break up. If this only happened once or twice it could be because she had different plans with her friends, but she wanted to confirm it for sure before she said she was busy.
   • If you're still in school, ask if she wants to have lunch with you. If she refused and made an excuse to go out to eat with someone else, then she might not be interested in this relationship anymore.

3. 

   
   
   Notice if she's making trouble. Quarreling frequently is a common sign of a deteriorating relationship, especially when you're arguing about odd jobs. Does she get angry easily when she's around you? Did she fuss about small things that didn't matter before? There are a myriad of possible reasons behind this type of behavior (ex: she is stressed about her due date, or feels unwell), but if it happens every day it is definitely a sign of her. he is no longer happy in the relationship.
   • Try to talk to your girlfriend about this. Ask her if something is wrong that stresses her, and what you can do for her.

4. 

   
   
   Think about physical intimacy. Your relationship may be going downhill if you are less physically close. This intimacy is not necessarily sexual, but the way she expresses intimacy in general. If you are having sex while you are dating, but suddenly she is no longer interested and is not acting intimate with you, there may be something that bothers her.
   • If normally your girlfriend doesn't get close, remember that. Some people don't like being physically close like everyone else, and if your girlfriend doesn't really like it, this doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you anymore.
   • She used to like holding your hand but now dodges or moves you away when you want to hold hands? This could be a sign that something is wrong.

5. 

   Pay attention to body language. Body language is an accurate indication of a person's feelings. If your girlfriend feels happy around you, she will make eye contact with you, point her body towards you while you're talking, and will generally try to approach you.
   • However, if she crosses her arms across her chest and avoids eye contact, she may be upset.
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Part 2 of 3: Talking with your girlfriend

1. 

   Let her know you have something to say. Even if you want to avoid the conversation or just want to get around, it's best to talk directly to your girlfriend. There's no reason why you can't talk to your girlfriend about your thoughts. Yes, a conversation can tell you she wants to break up, but it can also tell you what's upsetting her and that she doesn't want to break up. Either way, you'll know what's going on.
   • Let her know that you want to spend some time talking about your thoughts. Don't just walk over and ask if she wants to break up. This can make her confused or defensive.
   • If she says she doesn't have time to talk, make sure she isn't busy at some point. You can also invite your girlfriend to have coffee or lunch, she will see this as a time to talk, not a surprise session.
   • If you cannot speak in person, please communicate on computer, email or over the phone. If you provide multiple channels of communication, she will have to spend a few minutes with you eventually.

2. 

   Don't accuse it. It's important to pause to think about your reasons for suspecting your girlfriend, rather than just rushing to conclusions. Consider the evidence that makes you suspect, whether the suspicion is realistic, whether you can verify information in one way or another, what should you do with it.
   • For example, maybe you suspect your girlfriend is cheating because you see her smiling and laughing at co-workers. However, if this is the only evidence then you should consider whether she is just acting nice and trying to pass the time while doing boring work. Perhaps you think the best thing to do is ask her directly to see if she likes that guy.
   • Avoid saying things like “I know you want to break up, and I know it's because of the guy you're dating. Why don't you just say things bluntly ?! " You make all the assumptions and even if you make the correct assumptions, accusing in front of her will only put her on the defensive.
   • Instead, approach the conversation by saying that you feel she has some sort of feeling, and that you want to know if she's still happy with you, or if there's a problem. deal no.
   • You can also say, "I feel a bit nervous because we are not dating very often, and I don't know if anything is upsetting you." This expression shows you are trying to express your feelings without making a specific accusation. This is a peaceful way of communicating and a good approach when you have difficulty speaking to those you love.

3. 

   Listen to what she says. Active listening is when you use body language, questions, and other techniques to increase your comprehension of what others have to say, while sending a clear message that you are listening carefully. For example, you can repeat in your mind what your girlfriend just said to help you understand better, and make eye contact, nod, or say general words like "yeah" and "yeah" to She feels you are listening.
   • Don't rush to reach your own conclusions and hold back from feeling like cutting her off. Give her a chance to explain why she wants to break up, or why she doesn't want to break up. Maybe she has a good reason for her puzzling behavior, and you can't seem comfortable if you don't give her a chance to talk to you.
   • If she really wants to break up, you still have to listen. The reasons she wants to break up may be things you never thought about, or didn't notice. You will probably realize that the breakup is justified.
   • Chances are, she really wants to break up but is afraid of hurting you.Therefore, it is important for you to listen to know what she really wants to say to you. If she gives a variety of reasons why she is not happy in your relationship without specifically saying she wants to break up, go ahead.
   • Say something like, “It doesn't seem like I'm really happy with this relationship, but I'm afraid of hurting you. I want you to be honest. You want to end our relationship, don't you? ” Hope she will be honest with you now.

4. 

   Please say what you need to say. Now you have a chance to lift the burden off your chest. If she says she wants to break up, you may want to respond with selfish words, but try to hold back if possible. Saying that won't solve anything and you won't be happier either. If she says everything is fine, let her know what worries you.
   • You should use statements that say "You" instead of "Em" when talking to your girlfriend. A saying with the theme "You" will not make your girlfriend feel wary. For example, she may feel cautious if you say, “I've been acting strange lately. I have to tell you what happened. " Instead, you can say "I feel a distance between the two of us, do you feel that way?"
   • If she wants to break up, you don't have to say anything if she doesn't. You can get up and walk away, or just say, "Okay, I get it." If you want, you can also express your feelings (eg you are very sad, you want to go mad about this, or you think she's right and it's a good idea for both of you).

5. 

   Try not to get angry. Anger is a common emotion, but it is sometimes difficult to control. You can easily fall into self-defense when your partner says goodbye, because it makes us feel rejected. You have a tendency to get angry to protect yourself from these emotions, but being angry won't help the situation.
   • Try to focus on keeping your voice even and low, and keep your breathing steady.
   • If you feel like you can't control the attack, walk away. Even if she says she wants to break up and you hate her, walking away can help you avoid saying things that aren't on your mind and cause you to regret later.

6. 

   Accept the results of your talk. Regardless of the outcome of the talk that you no longer have a girlfriend, or the two of you are still dating, you still have to accept your girlfriend's wishes. If she wants to break up, it's time to face the truth. If she says she's happy and doesn't want to break up, then trust her. Don't keep asking if she wants to break up. This will irritate her and show you are insecure. advertisement

Part 3 of 3: Thinking about what to do

1. 

   Give her free space. During a date, one or both parties will have times when they feel unsure about the relationship. During this time, the person will tend to separate them slightly from the other half, usually without much explanation. This leaves you confused as to what's wrong and wondering if you've done anything wrong. You want to talk to your partner about the problem, but this often upsets her and takes action.
   • If this is the case, give her some space. While it's no guarantee, being away from her for a few days a week can give her a chance to realize she's truly happy with the relationship, and feel lonely without friends. .
   • If the situation doesn't go your way, giving her some space will also give you a chance to realize that you had a happy life before she showed up, and you can go on with a happy life. that looks without her.

2. 

   Try to save the relationship. If you really feel like you can't live without a girlfriend, there are steps you can take to save the relationship. However, it's important to understand that your girlfriend is unhappy and that you don't want to be with you, both of you will end up suffering.
   • Try to figure out what is causing your girlfriend to be unhappy. Maybe the cold truth is that she doesn't love you anymore, but there might be other things going on that are making her unhappy. Try to find these problems and fix them.
   • Surprise her. If you've been dating your girlfriend for a while, you probably haven't used your full appeal to keep her happy. So surprise her with something special. You can pre-order a romantic dinner or invite her to her favorite ballroom. More simply, you can let your girlfriend know what you're thinking about her by giving her candy or flowers she likes.
   • Try to recall good times. There must be some reason why the two of you decided to date each other, but that reason seems so far away in the current difficult times. Try to rekindle this by talking about the first day or the moment when you two laughed loudly about something. The idea here is to evoke the positive feelings you first met.
   • Write love letters. This is simple, but many people still like to receive love letters. This doesn't mean you have to write something really cool, but just write it simply to remind her of your interest. Recall your good memories and / or something you are looking forward to doing with her in the future.
   • Try to be more open and fragile. Often times you feel you have to be on guard and stop sharing things with your girlfriend, but this only makes the situation worse. Instead, open up more to her. Tell her about your bad day, be willing to share your fears, and let her see your soft side.
   • Encourage your lover to have an independent life. Perhaps one of the reasons your girlfriend is unhappy in a relationship is because she feels claustrophobic or unable to lead an independent life. Try to encourage your girlfriend to do the things she wants instead of keeping her within reach. For example, if your girlfriend wants to go to college, offer to help her apply to school. If your girlfriend wants to travel somewhere, encourage her to do so.

3. 

   Let her go. It might not be what you want, but in some cases it's probably best to let her go. If you see clearly that she is unhappy but afraid to break up for some reason, be brave and show your girlfriend that you care about her happiness by actively saying goodbye.
   • Do this gently and sincerely. Say that you've recently been unhappy in your relationship with you, and that you know she doesn't want to hurt you, but it's time to end the relationship.
   • This may not relieve the pain of the breakup, but it will help you stay in control. You will feel relief after living in an unhappy relationship for a while.
   • When you break up with your girlfriend, it's important to forget the anger towards her or the relationship. Keeping these frustrating emotions in mind will only harm you.

4. 

   Give yourself time. It takes time to forget about this relationship. If you feel sad about the loss, remember that you will overcome your sadness over time. There are many things you can do to make yourself feel better, but in the end you still need time to get over this sadness.
   • It is impossible to know how much time it takes to let go of your sadness, perhaps days, weeks or months. Try to see each day after that as a step in the right direction.

5. 

   Cut off all communication. During the first part of your breakup, you'll want to call, email, or text her. However, this will only prolong the pain. Remove her phone number and contact information from all of your social media accounts.
   • If she tries to contact you, ignore the calls or texts. If she sends an email, delete it without reading it.
   • This doesn't mean you'll never talk to her again. However, you may regret what you said after the breakup, and that doesn't make you feel any better.
   • If you don't want to completely erase all communications, write it down on a piece of paper and have a close friend keep it away until you forget the relationship.

6. 

   Give up everything that reminds you of your girlfriend. If you don't want to give something up by throwing it away or donating it to charity, at least put it in a box or bag and keep it somewhere you can't see.
   • If you think you will want to reminisce about the items, throw them away, or ask a friend to keep them for a while.

7. 

   Maintain an active life. You can spend an evening crying or gnawing at the sadness of a breakup, but then you have to move on with your active life. Plan to have fun with friends. Attend a social event where you make new friends. You won't have too much time to think about breaking up if you go out to hang out with your best friends.
   • You should also participate in physical activity. There is a lot of evidence that physical activity can make both your body and mind healthier. People tend to be sedentary and lethargic after breaking up with a partner, but try to go out for a walk or jog. If you like team sports, join a team.

8. 

   Constructive thinking. Although it is sad to have to break up with your lover, you can learn from that. Take the time to think about the relationship as honestly as possible. Maybe she did a lot of wrong things but you too. Instead of focusing on her mistakes, think about what you could have done better.
   • For example, perhaps you will maintain a more open attitude in future relationships so that your future girlfriend will be willing to talk to you when they are dissatisfied. In a recent relationship, if you have been angry or alert when she talks about a problem, practice open communication and stay calm in the face of problems.
   • It's not easy to be honest with yourself about your flaws, but keep in mind that there's no point in hiding behind pride at this point.
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Advice

• Maybe she just had a bad day or week. You can give her more time, but prolonging a bad relationship is not a good thing.
• If your girlfriend is showing a negative attitude, she may need more attention from you. The solution could be to show her love from time to time, or to surprise her.
• Write it all down in one letter. If you find it difficult to find a good time to talk to your girlfriend, try to communicate in a different way. You can write letters or email to explain your thoughts. Writing a letter not only opens up another channel of communication, but also gives her the opportunity to understand what you are saying.
• Listen to what your instincts tell you. Often you will notice quite clearly that the relationship is coming to an end. We try to ignore this feeling but often it is correct, so you have to be honest with yourself.
• If your girlfriend wants to break up because she is no longer happy with you, then it's best to let her go. Overcoming the pain of breaking up can be tough, but if she's unhappy then forcing her to stay will only make the situation worse.
• If you know for sure she wants to break up but don't say it for some reason, you can stop the frustration by actively breaking up, which can be difficult if you don't want to break up. Although breaking up can hurt both of you, once you forget the relationship, you can move on with your new life.
• If she makes it clear she has had a bad week, offer to help. Ask how you can help her.

Warning

• Avoid causing trouble. When your girlfriend offers to break up, you often want to make trouble, but then you will feel ashamed about it. Staying as calm as possible (at least when you're in front of her) will prove an adult. Then you will feel proud of yourself.
• Negative body language and emotions can indicate that she's upset. Be careful not to confuse your girlfriend's dissatisfaction with the relationship with other emotional problems she may be having.