Content

• Steps
• Advice

When a friend is in trouble, it's extremely important that you be with them without bothering them more. This article will teach you how to care, listen, keep the person busy, and distract you to overcome unpleasant things.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Show interest

1. 

   Give them space. Give your friend time to heal and forget about your pain. Depending on what they are facing, sometimes they will need someone to share, a shoulder to lean on, but sometimes they will want to think for themselves. So don't be in a rush if your ex wants to spend time alone.
   • After a while, gently talk to them. You don't have to say something like: "I'm sorry about what happened, I'm really shocked" but simply say: "I'm really sorry and worried about you".
   • Don't pressure. Just let them know that you are willing to listen and share when they need it.

2. 

   
   
   Start with the little things. If your friend is a person who doesn't confide in his mind, start with small things so they can open up. Without being too ostentatious, simple things can help you make someone feel better.
   • Before you try to talk or get to know your friend's problem, give them a card, a bouquet of flowers, or other small gifts, such as a pack of beer or a record of music, as a substitute. means that you are willing to listen and share their sadness.
   • You can also start by giving your friend a can of soft drink, a handkerchief, or finding them a comfortable seat to refresh themselves.

3. 

   
   
   Get in touch with them. When someone is upset, they often won't actively seek help, especially if they've just experienced a great shock. If it is too heartbreaking, like breaking up with a loved one or losing a family member, contacting them can be difficult. Be patient and try to find creative ways to talk to them.
   • Send a message if they're not on the phone. It's easier to reply to the message briefly without being fine.
   • Even if the issues are not too serious, such as your friend is just sad because his knee is broken, or his favorite team loses, they will still tend to isolate and ignore those around them. Take care of them even at times like that.

4. 

   
   
   Stay with your friends. Sometimes, you don't need to do anything, just sit there next to them, just being there is enough for them to feel better. Silently suffering alone will make them even more suffering. Let your friends know you're there, willing to talk if they want to, that's all.
   • A small comforting gesture can be stronger than a thousand words of consolation. Give them a pat on the back, give your friend a gentle hug, or squeeze their hands.
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Part 2 of 3: Listening

1. 

   Encourage them to confide. Ask a few short questions for your friend to talk to and open up. If you know what they're upset about, you can ask specific questions, otherwise you can say, "Are you talking about it?" or "Did you have something unhappy?"
   • Do not force it. Sometimes, just sitting next to it and being quiet is another way to give people a chance to talk. If they don't want to talk, don't force them.
   • If your friend doesn't want to talk, bring it up after a few days by inviting them to lunch and asking, "How have you been?" Maybe they will be more willing to share now.

2. 

   Just listen. If the person begins to talk, keep quiet and focus on listening. Don't say anything, don't interrupt to show sympathy or start telling your own story to show that you sympathize with their suffering. Sit still, look at them and listen to them. When they're sad, that's what they need most.
   • Make eye contact. You look at your friends with sympathetic eyes, put your phone away, turn off the TV and don't mind anything else in the room, just watch and listen to them.
   • Listen while nodding to show that you are listening attentively, while incorporating gestures, such as sighing when listening to sad parts, smiling at happy passages, and most importantly listen.

3. 

   Summarize and record what they have just said. If your friend starts to slow down, keep them from sharing by summarizing what they just said in your own words. For many people, hearing their own story will help them feel better. If the person recently broke up and talked about all the wrong things about your ex, you could say, "Saying so, it seems he / she didn't mean to take you seriously in the first place." Fill the gaps to help them keep sharing and calming down.
   • You can also do this when you feel like you don't understand exactly what your friend is saying. For example, you could say, "So you're angry with your sister because she took your astronomy book without asking, right?"
   • Avoid taking their problem lightly when you feel like it's no big deal. Maybe they're a lot sadder than you think.
   • Don't pretend you understand what they are going through when you have never had a similar situation.

4. 

   Don't try to solve the problem. A lot of people, especially men, often make the mistake of telling others about their problems means they need help. Unless specifically asked, such as "What do you think I should do?" then you should not give any advice. Heart wounds are not an easily solvable problem, so don't expect to find a perfect solution. You just need to listen and be with your friend.
   • This is especially true when the person makes a mistake. You don't have to stress that she won't have to be sad because she failed the exam if she studied hard instead of playing video games all day.
   • If you want to give advice, stop for a moment and ask your friend, "Do you need some advice or do you just want me to listen?" and respect their wishes.

5. 

   Talk about other things. Once you've talked long enough, you should deftly steer the conversation away, especially if you notice that your friend has vented his heart or the story has started to repeat. Help them to have a more positive outlook or talk about other plans so they can move forward.
   • Talk about what you plan to do after talking. Slowly move the conversation to another topic. For example, if you are sitting outside the classroom and hear your friend talk about the breakup, you could say, "So, are you hungry? What do you want to eat for lunch?"
   • Gradually every story will come to an end, don't let your friend talk over the same issue over and over again if it doesn't help. Encourage them to talk and focus their energies on other things.
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Part 3 of 3: Keeping them busy

1. 

   Get involved in distraction-free activities. You should do something with your friends so that they don't just sit there and gnaw their sadness. It doesn't matter what they do, as long as they're busy and have something to do.
   • If you are sitting somewhere, you can get up and go for a walk. Take a few laps around the mall, look at the map, or walk around the neighborhood to change the wind.
   • Let's do something relaxing, but don't let it go. Grief is not a reason to abuse drugs, tobacco or alcohol. You need to be rational when it comes to helping your friend feel better.

2. 

   Participate in physical activity. Exercise releases endorphins in the brain, so you will be calmer and more active in thinking. If you can involve your friend in physical activity, it can be a great and healthy way to make them happy again.
   • Do some gentle exercise, such as stretching exercises or yoga.
   • If you want more fun then you can choose to play some sports in the yard, cycling or walking.
   • If your friend is very angry or depressed, find ways to get physically active, such as going to the gym and doing weights to let those negative emotions out.

3. 

   Participate in light and fun activities. If the person is clinging to negative thoughts, you need to direct them towards more positive things. You can choose to go with them to the mall to see something or go swimming and ice cream. Find your favorite movies, make popcorn, eat and plow movies, and talk about the people you have a crush on. Anything can be done, as long as it's gentle and interesting for the person to stop hanging around with their troubles.
   • Watch a comedy or a play to distract them from their negative thoughts

4. 

   Eat something. You can offer your friend something special when they're not in a good mood. Let's go out for ice cream or go to a favorite restaurant. Many times a bad mood will make us loss of appetite and loss of appetite, leading to hypoglycemia and making things worse. Eating something will probably make your friend feel better.
   • You can cook for your friends from time to time when they are in a state of depression. Make a pot of soup and share it with them, so at least they won't have to worry about what to eat today.

5. 

   Encourage them to cancel unimportant plans. When something bad happened, trying to go to the company to present a plan or sit in class with long hard lessons may not be what they should do. Taking a day off and doing something to clear your mind instead of the usual tasks might be better.
   • Sometimes burying in work is a good way, the familiar things can make them forget their troubles. The final decision is with them, but let your friend know that at least they have a choice.
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Advice

• If they intend to commit suicide or injure themselves, encourage them to seek help from the suicide hotlines.