Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

We make decisions every day; Everything we say and do are the result of decisions, whether we do it on purpose or not. With every choice, big or small, there is no easy recipe for making the right decision. The best way you can do it is to approach as many angles as possible and choose an action plan that seems appropriate and balanced at that point in time. You may worry if the decision to be made is important.However, there are a few simple things you can do to make your decision less intimidating, like pinpointing the worst case scenario, creating a spreadsheet, and following your intuition. Read on to learn how to make a decision.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Understand the source of your fear

1. 

   
   
   Write down your fear. Taking note of your fears can help you understand them and ultimately make a more appropriate decision. Start by writing down the decision you need to make. Describe or list any concerns you have regarding the decision. Allow yourself to express all your fears without judging yourself.
   • For example, you can start taking notes by asking yourself, "What decision do I need to make and what is afraid I will happen if I make a mistake?"

2. 

   
   
   Determine the worst case scenario. As you write down the decision and why you are afraid is related to the decision, take the next step. Try to determine the worst case scenario for each possible option. Pushing the decision to the limit when something bad can happen if things go wrong will make the process less intimidating.
   • For example, if you need to decide between a full-time job and a part-time job to spend more time with your kids, think about the worst case scenario of every possible decision.
     • If you choose a full-time job, the worst possible scenario is that you will miss important moments in the child's development and they will blame you for it when you grow up.
     • If you choose a part-time job, the worst possible scenario is that you cannot afford to pay your monthly bills.
   • Decide which worst-case scenario will actually happen. It is easy to "aggravate the problem," or attach everything to the worst that could happen without spending time thinking. Test the worst case scenario you have just come up with, and see what led to it. Is this likely to happen?

3. 

   
   
   Think about whether the decision you make will last forever. When you think bad things can happen, think about whether you can reverse your decision. Most decisions are reversible, so understand that if you don't like such a decision, you can always make changes to handle the situation later.
   • For example, let's say you decide to choose a part-time job to spend time with your kids. If you end up having trouble paying your bills, you can reverse your decision by looking for full-time work.

4. 

   Talk to friends or family members. Don't assume you have to make the tough decisions alone. Use the help of a trusted friend or family member to assist you or at least listen to your problems. Share details about your decision and your fears about the worst. This makes it easier to voice your decision concerns, so that a friend or relative can provide you with helpful advice and / or encouragement to help you feel reassuring.
   • You might also consider talking to people who are not in the situation and those with neutral views. Usually a therapist is very helpful in this case.
   • You might even consider searching online for people with experience in similar situations. If you are trying to decide between a full-time job and a part-time job to spend a lot of time with your kids, you can post your problem on the online parent forums. You will see the perspectives of people who had to make the same decision as well as some people telling you what they will do in your case.
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Part 2 of 3: Consider decisions

1. 

   Calm down. Emotions that are uplifting, positive or negative, can all affect your ability to make the right decisions. When you need to make a decision, the first step is often as much calm as possible. If you don't calm down, don't make a decision until you think clearly.
   • Try taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. If you have more time, go to a quiet room and practice about 10 minutes of deep breathing.
   • For deep breathing exercises, start by placing one hand on your abdomen just below your ribs and the other on your chest. When you inhale, you will notice your abdomen and chest bulging.
   • Inhale slowly through your nose. Count to 4 on inhalation. Focus on feeling your breath as your lungs expand.
   • Hold your breath for 1-2 seconds.
   • Gently exhale through your nose or mouth. Count to 4 as you exhale.
   • Repeat this process 6-10 times per minute for 10 minutes.

2. 

   Gather as much information as possible. Most decisions will be made better when you have the information to make a clear decision. Decision-making, especially on important topics, should be based on logic. Do a search to find as much information about the decision as possible.
   • For example, if you are trying to decide between staying in a full-time job and switching to a part-time job to spend more time with your children, you need to know the income you will lose every month when you switch jobs. You also need to consider how much time you will spend with your child. Record this information, as well as any relevant information to help you make your decision.
   • You need to look at other options too and gather information about them. For example, you can ask your boss if you can work remotely for at least a few days a week.

3. 

   Use the technique of "five questions why" to understand the problem. Ask yourself "why question?" Five attempts can help you spot the source of the problem and know if you are making the right decision. For example, if you try to make the decision between keeping a full-time job and switching to a part-time job to spend a lot of time with your family, five questions might be why:
   • "Why would I consider a part-time job?" Because I can never meet the kids. "Why can't I ever meet the kids?" Because I come home late most evenings late at night. "Why do I come home late most nights?" Because the company has new customers and this takes up a lot of my time. "Why does that take up so much of my time?" Because I try to do a good job and hope to be compensated by the promotion. "Why do I want a promotion?" To make more money than support the family.
   • In this case, the five questions why suggest you are considering reducing your hours even if you hope to get promoted. Here there is a conflict that requires further research to make the right decision.
   • The five why questions suggest that the problem may be temporary, you work a lot for new clients. Consider: is your working time available as long as you get to know new customers?

4. 

   Think who is affected. First and foremost, you need to consider whether your decision affects you. Specifically, how does that decision affect the way you view yourself as someone? What are your values ​​and goals? Making decisions that do not have "value conditioning" (ie they do not align with your core beliefs) can make you unhappy and dissatisfied.
   • For example, if ambition is your core value, is a profound part of your personality, then switching to a part-time job may not be appropriate, as you will no longer be pursuing your ambition. Get promoted and become head of the company.
   • Sometimes your core values ​​can conflict with other values. For example, you have both ambition and family orientation as your core values. You need to prioritize one value over another in order to make a decision. When you understand what values ​​will be affected by the decision, you will be able to make the right decision.
   • You should also consider the impact of the issue or your decision on others.Could the consequences have a negative effect on the people you care about? Consider other values ​​in your decision-making process, especially if you are married or have children.
   • For example, the decision to switch to a part-time job can have a positive effect on your child because it means they will have a lot of time with you, but can adversely affect you because you have to quit. ambition to be promoted. It also has a negative impact on your family because it reduces income.

5. 

   List all of your options. At first glance, it may seem like you have only one direction, but often that's not the case. Even in situations where there are not many options, try to make a list of alternatives. Don't rate them until a complete list is available. Please do it carefully. If it is difficult to come up with alternatives, think with a few family members or friends.
   • Of course, you do not have to write the list on paper. Maybe that list just needs to be in your head!
   • You can always remove items from the list later, but crazy ideas can offer creative solutions you've never considered anywhere.
   • For example, you might find another full-time job at the company that doesn't require much overtime. You can hire people to do housework, to have free time for your family. You can even create a "whole family work night" where everyone works together in the same room to help you feel more connected.
   • Studies also show too Multiple choices can lead to more confusion and difficulty making decisions. When you have the list, cross out all those that are completely unrealistic. Try to keep about five options on your list.

6. 

   Create spreadsheets to compare the expected benefits and losses of your decision. If your problem is complicated and you feel overwhelmed by so many possible outcomes, consider creating a spreadsheet to track your decision-making process. You can use Microsoft excel software to create a spreadsheet or simply create a spreadsheet on paper.
   • To create a spreadsheet, create a column for each of the options you are considering. Create two small columns in each column to compare the benefits and losses of each possible outcome. Use the + and - signs to specify the positive and the negative.
   • You can also score a value for each item in the list. For example, you can give +5 a rating of "Will eat with your kids every night" in the "Switch to Part-time Job" list. On the other hand, you can score -20 on the content “will reduce your income by 10 million dong per month” in the same list.
   • After completing the spreadsheet, you can add up the value points and decide which has the highest score. Remember that you may not be able to make a decision if you just do this.

7. 

   Create silence between thought moments. The creators may not know this, but ideas, decisions and solutions arise when they don't think or think slowly. That means creative and intelligent solutions or ideas can appear in a state of thoughtless consciousness. That is why people meditate.
   • It's important to ask questions and gather information or knowledge before making a decision, but if you want to make a really smart and creative decision, you need to stop thinking or at least think slowly. again. Breathing meditation is one of the unstructured methods of creating silence in between thoughts to allow the creativity and wisdom of the universe to penetrate you. This unstructured method does not require you to spend a lot of time as you can be aware of your breath while doing everyday tasks like cooking, brushing your teeth, taking a walk, etc. For more details and For other methods, please read the articles in the same category.
   • See the following example: A musician with the knowledge and information (tools) to write music such as playing an instrument, singing, writing songs, etc. but the creative intelligence is conveyed through the main new tool. is the thing that drives those tools. Yes, knowledge of musical instruments, singing, etc. is important, but the creative intelligence sets the essence of the song.

8. 

   Learn to distinguish between impulsive and intelligent decisions. Usually the impulse goes away at some point. For example, deciding to eat, shop, travel, etc.However, smart decisions will persist in consciousness for a while, possibly days, weeks or months.
   • A smart decision can come in an impulsive form, but watch out if you still feel that way over a period of time. And that's why you need to be quiet after gathering information, asking questions to make an informed decision.
   • Experiment: Notice the quality of the action after you take a deep breath versus the action when it appeared impulsively.
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Part 3 of 3: Making a decision

1. 

   Treat yourself like a friend. Sometimes temporarily not making a decision can help you determine the right choice. Think as if you would advise a good friend who is trying to make the same decision. What decision would you advise them to make? Why do you advise so?
   • Try playing a role-playing game using this method. Sit next to an empty chair and pretend you're talking to someone.
   • If you do not want to sit alone talking, you can try writing to yourself for advice. Begin the letter by writing: “Dear X, I have seen your situation. In my opinion, the best thing you should do is ____ ”. Continue writing the letter by presenting your point of view (from an outsider's perspective).

2. 

   Play critics. This game can help you know how you really feel that decision because you have to take the opposite perspective and argue to defend as if it were your point of view. If the argument you use against what you want to do makes sense, you will have more information to consider.
   • To play a critical game, try to make an argument against any good reason to make your preferred choice. If it's easy to judge, you need to make another choice.
   • For example, if you are inclined to work part-time to spend more time with your kids, argue by pointing out that you spend valuable time with your kids on weekends and holidays. You could also argue that the money and promotion opportunities you lose are worth skipping a few family dinners because they are better for the kids than spending a few extra hours with the kids at the time. dark. It also benefits your promotion, and is worth considering.

3. 

   Think See if you feel guilty. Making decisions to get rid of guilt is common, but feeling guilty is not a positive motivator for healthy decision-making. The sense of guilt often distorts our view of events and outcomes so we don't see them (or our role in it) clearly. Feelings of guilt are especially common among working women, who face social pressure to perfectly balance work and home life.
   • Doing things out of guilt can also be dangerous because it causes us to make decisions that are inconsistent with our values.
   • One way to identify the motivations of guilt is to find "need" or "right" statements. For example, you might feel like “Good parents need to spend all their time with their kids” or “Mr. A working for X hours is definitely a bad dad”. Such statements are based on outside judgment, not on your merits.
   • So to determine if your decision is driven by guilt, take a step back and examine the situation. realYour personal values ​​(the core beliefs that shape your life) tell you what is right.Are the kids really affected because you work full time? Or do you think so because that's how others say you “need” to feel the same?

4. 

   Thinking about the future. Ultimately, the best way to make a decision is to think about how you feel after a few years. Think about how you would think you would look in the mirror. How will you explain to your grandchildren. If you don't want to know what the long-term results are, you should review your approach.
   • For example, do you think you will regret deciding to move to part-time in the next 10 years? If so, why? What do you get in 10 years of full-time work that you didn't get while working part-time?

5. 

   Trust your instincts. You may have a feeling which decision is right, so if all else fails, trust your intuition. Make a decision based on what you feel is right while the spreadsheet shows the opposite. Research shows that people who make decisions based on emotions tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than those who make decisions based on their emotions.
   • Ask yourself what to do. If you have good intuition and know which decision will make you feel most satisfied, lean toward that decision. It is change and discomfort with what you don't know that makes decision-making difficult.
   • Taking a moment to meditate can help you feel your intuition.
   • The more decisions you make, the better you will hone and sharpen your intuition.

6. 

   Have a backup plan. Making a plan can help you with concerns about possible negative outcomes. Develop a backup plan to handle the worst case scenario. While you may not need this plan, devising a backup plan simply helps you feel better equipped to deal with the worst case scenario. People in leadership positions are often expected to have back-up plans because bad things can always happen. This is also helpful when making unimportant decisions.
   • Having a backup plan also allows you to flexibly cope with unprecedented challenges or obstacles. The ability to adapt to unforeseen situations can directly affect the success of your decision.

7. 

   Make a choice. Whatever the decisions you make, be willing to accept responsibility for all results. If things don't work out, it's always better to make conscious decisions than not to be careful. At least you can say that you did your best. Make your decision and be ready to go. advertisement

Advice

• No scenario is perfect. When you make a decision, do it with all your heart as possible so that you won't regret and worry about other decisions not being chosen.
• All options are equally good if you've been thinking about the decision for a long time. In that case, every option has major pros and cons. You will make a decision if one of the options may prove to be significantly better than the previous ones.
• Remember that you may not be informed enough to make the right decision. Look up more if you're having trouble narrow down the options. Be aware that the information you need may not be readily available. After reviewing the information you have, you may have to go ahead and make a decision.
• After your decision is made, important new information appears indicating the need to adjust or completely change your original decision. Be ready to go through the decision-making process again if that happens. Flexibility is a great skill.
• Limit time if you have to make a decision early or if the decision isn't very important. The risk of "analysis deadlock" is real. If you try to make a decision on which movies to rent over the weekend, don't spend an hour writing down the titles.
• If you try too hard, you can ignore the obvious. Avoid thinking too much.
• Avoid giving too many options. Researchers have found that our unwillingness to limit our choices leads to unsuccessful decisions.
• Listing advantages and limitations! You can also enumerate options, and gradually decrease them until you have only two possibilities left. Talk to everyone about them to make a final decision.
• Remember that at some point, not making a decision becomes a decision not to do anything, that may be the worst decision.
• Take every experience as a lesson. By making important decisions, you will always learn to deal with consequences and even use obstacles as lessons to develop and adapt.

Warning

• Avoid stressing yourself. That just makes things worse.
• Stay away from people who act as if they want the best for you but assume they already know it without your knowledge. Their suggestions may Yes, but if they don't think about your feelings and concerns, they are also very, very wrong. You should also avoid people distrusting you.