Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Some simple basic rules
• Method 2 of 3: Make your letter more personal
• Method 3 of 3: Building a long-term relationship
• Tips
• Warnings

Writing with a pen pal can be a fun way to start a new friendship and learn things about someone's culture that you might not have known. Penpal relationships can last for years and a relationship with such a person can sometimes be more intimate than with people close to you. Writing the first letter can be quite difficult because you don't know someone yet and you want to make a good first impression. By simply starting the letter with some basic information about yourself, not immediately flooding someone with too much information, asking good questions and keeping the letter fairly short, writing your first letter will not be difficult and you are on the right track way to forming an important and lasting friendship.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Some simple basic rules

1. Use their name. You don't have to repeat their name very often in the letter, but at least use it in the beginning, when greeting. You can also have their name appear in the letter again later.
   • You should also include your own name at the beginning of the letter, even if it may already be on the envelope. That way you complete the introduction and greeting.
2. Write a simple intro. Before you get to the body of the letter, take a moment to greet them, tell them that you are excited and enjoy writing them, and that you hope they are doing well. You could write, "How are you today?" or "I hope you are doing well" or "It's nice getting to know you by writing letters!"
   • A greeting helps the reader to start the letter calmly without immediately diving into all the details you plan to share with them. Think of the letter as a conversation, except that of course you are the only one talking for the time being. You would also never start a regular conversation by immediately spouting a ton of information without greeting someone first, right?
3. Tell some simple things about yourself. Age, gender, and where you live (not necessarily your address) are a great way to start, giving your new pen pal a sense of who you are. You can go a little further from this point on by telling which class you are in, what you study or where you work. Share a few things about your family members and some of your traits, such as that you love to laugh, that you hate math or homework, or say a few things about your religious affiliation.
   • Your first letter is an introduction, so treat it as such. What would you tell someone you just met? Those are the kind of things you also tell your pen pal.
   • If you are young or a teenager, think about your own safety. Talk to your parents before writing and especially before disclosing any personal information.
4. Tell us how you found him / her. You've probably used some sort of pen buddy platform or forum, so it's always good to tell someone where you got their name, address, and any other information. You can also indicate at this point if you have ever written with other people, how long you have been using this service and why you have chosen him or her as a pen pal.
   • If you saw specific information in their profile that made you want to write to them, you could mention that and tell us why it piqued your interest. Tell them your relationship to that topic and ask them to tell you more about it.
5. State a specific goal you have for writing. You may be looking for a pen pal for a specific reason, such as learning a new language, or getting to know a culture other than yours, so share this. Maybe you're just looking for someone to talk to, or you're entering a new phase in your life and want some encouragement. It is always good to let the person you are writing to know what your intentions are for this relationship.
   • Don't rush into saying that you feel very lonely and just need someone to listen to you. Even though you may really feel that way (which is nothing to be ashamed of), it will likely make him / her uncomfortable and he or she may not want to write you back.
6. Write a closing. There are many different ways to close a letter, but with pen buddies, it is good to thank them for their time reading your letter. It is better not to end the letter with the words "Please write back" or "I look forward to hearing from you" as they may feel obligated. Just thank them for the time they took to read your letter and wish them a good day.
   • Don't forget to put your name at the bottom of the letter.

Method 2 of 3: Make your letter more personal

1. Look for common ground. In many cases, you want a pen pal who shares some common interests with you, so talk about things you really like and ask if they like those things too. To keep it simple for the first letter, you can list broad interests such as, "I enjoy outdoor activities" or "I enjoy going to concerts and plays."
   • You can also be more specific by telling what music you like to listen to, what your favorite park is, or by telling about a particular event you've attended, but make sure you have a mix of general and specific preferences.
2. Ask a few questions. For a first letter, it is great to give the reader a few specific points that you would like to get to know. This also makes it easier for them to write back to you. However, don't make it too personal in the first letter, such as: "What's the worst thing that ever happened to you?". Stick to something simple like "What do you usually do on the weekend?"
   • A nice option could be to create a small questionnaire that contains empty spaces for the person who provides the answers. These could be questions like "Name a book you like" or "What's your favorite food?". The questions don't have to be serious or meaningful, they can just be a little playful questions like "What animal would you most like to be?"
3. Tell us what a typical day looks like for you. If you choose a pen pal, chances are you are living a different kind of life, especially if your pen pal lives in a different country. Giving them an idea of ​​what you do throughout the day may be of interest to them.
   • This also gives them something to write back about so that they can share their own experiences.
   • If the person you are writing with lives in another country, you can say that you wonder if the young people in their country are doing the same things as you. This can build a sense of camaraderie between you. It also gives them the opportunity to tell you about what they do in a day. Maybe you will be surprised that it is very similar to your life or you will be surprised that it is so different.
4. Add an interesting snip. To spice up your letter a little, you can attach a magazine clipping or, for example, a self-made drawing. You can also send a cutout with an interesting quote, a copy of a poem or a nice photo. You can be really creative with this step. The possibilities are endless.
   • You don't even have to say anything in the letter about what you added. It can give your letter a mysterious touch, so that he / she wants to write back to you to find out what it is about.

Method 3 of 3: Building a long-term relationship

1. Share photos with each other. After you've written a few letters back and forth, it can be a nice addition to include a picture of yourself and ask for a picture of the other person. You could send a portrait photo that a photographer took of you at school or maybe a nice holiday photo.
   • You can also include a photo of the house where you live, or places you like to go, a photo of your school, or photos of interesting places you have visited.
   • Besides pictures of yourself and places you like to go, you could also add a picture of your favorite band or movie to the letter, or nice pictures of places you want to visit someday, or a picture of something you have yourself created or drawn.
2. Get more personal. Once you have some basic information about each other and have written together long enough to feel a bit more comfortable, start asking more personal questions. Ask what kinds of problems he or she faces in life. Ask what their dreams, goals, or ideals are. You can also start sharing more intimate details about your own life. Perhaps share about fears you have or trials you have had to endure.
   • One of the advantages of a penpal relationship is that you will likely never meet the person you write with in person, or maybe after you've been writing with each other for a long time. This can sometimes make you feel more comfortable telling personal things than someone you see often.
3. Send presents. In addition to writing letters, you can now also send your pen pal a gift on special occasions, such as holidays or birthdays, or just any other time. For pen pals abroad, you may be able to send a toy or treat typical of your home country. You could send certain non-perishable foods to each other that you have never tasted.
   • It is best to discuss this together in your letters before sending anything. Of course you want to make sure that the other person likes to receive gifts from you.
4. Talk about important life questions. A good way to build a strong relationship with a pen pal is to discuss your deeper thoughts. You could ask him / her what he or she thinks about the purpose of life and what your beliefs are. You could talk about something in society that really makes you sad and that you would like to change. In this way, your letters will go beyond the ordinary everyday events of your life and a true friendship with your pen pal can develop.

Tips

• Don't make your first letter too long. It's an introductory letter, so don't make it so long that the reader gets bored or feels like you're running too fast. Since the goal is a long-term writing relationship, you don't have to tell everything you can think of in one sitting. About one page of writing paper or two or three smaller sheets of paper is more than enough.
• Don't tell your whole life story right away. You want this correspondence to go on for a long time, so you better save certain topics for later. Make a note of things, but don't go into detail. This piques their interest in future letters.
• Writing with a pen pal is meant to be fun, so keep the letter light and don't be too serious.
• It might be a good idea to write to a few people at a time at the beginning. That way you have multiple options if someone doesn't write you back.

Warnings

• Depending on how you chose someone - and some other factors - someone may not write you back. Don't let this discourage you.
• Wait about two weeks to see if someone writes back. Don't get impatient or send a second letter right away if you don't get an answer quickly. Someone may be busy, or the mail may just take a little longer.