Author:
John Pratt
Date Of Creation:
9 April 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
- To step
- Part 1 of 3: Improve communication
- Part 2 of 3: Concerning your insecurities
- Part 3 of 3: Getting beyond your own hurt
Do you feel that you cannot trust your partner or that he (or she) does not trust you? A lack of trust can lead to major problems in a relationship, and even the termination of the relationship. An easy way to build trust in your relationship is to treat your partner differently. Communicate better with each other and be both willing to be honest and open with each other. If you feel insecure, it can lead to distrust in a relationship, so it's important that you boost your self-esteem and independently do things that you enjoy. If you are struggling to trust your partner because you have been hurt in the past, it can help to seek therapy so that you can resolve your problems and process your hurt.
To step
Part 1 of 3: Improve communication
Stop constantly monitoring what your partner is doing. You may find it difficult to give your partner space. If you find it normal to search his (or her) things, or to ask him all kinds of questions when he goes out, learn to stop doing these things. While that may seem uncomfortable for you, it shows that you are willing to trust your partner and that you are not overly interfering with your partner's life. - Practice trusting your partner before suspecting him or her of anything. Approach him or her with confidence and see how that feels before you fall into suspicion.
- Let your partner know that you have chosen to trust him or her rather than distrust him or her.
- Remember, keeping a close eye on your partner means you don't trust him or her in advance. And then you may misinterpret the things you discover, because you look at them from suspicion.
Talk openly with your partner. Talking about things clearly with your partner can help you overcome your distrust. If you are able to communicate clearly with each other without either of you feeling that the other has anything to hide, it can improve communication and you can build trust in each other. If there are situations that worry you, express your concern and explain why you are bothered. Give your partner the opportunity to respond and let him or her finish the conversation. - For example, talk to your partner before he or she goes out so you can get a sense of where he's going and what he's going to do there, instead of worrying about a night out. Get into the habit of discussing these things without putting pressure on your partner.
- Be calm and friendly when talking to your partner. Because he or she can become defensive if you accuse or blame him or her for things. If you seem angry or irritated, he may not even want to talk to you.
Don't blame each other. If the trust in each other is not that strong, then blaming will only make it worse. If your partner doesn't trust you, or if you don't trust your partner, try not to blame each other. Instead, try to be open to the other and let them finish the conversation. Instead of blaming each other, ask questions. - No doubt there will be times when you feel like something is going on. At times like that, it is advisable to change approach and to gather more information.
- For example, if you're worried about the sneaky messages he keeps sending on his phone, say something like, “I think it's strange that you act so secretive when you're on your phone. Can you explain to me what's going on? ” This works better than, "I don't trust you and I think you're hiding something from me."
Go to a relationship counselor. A lack of trust can quickly irreparably damage a relationship. If you and your partner are committed to the relationship and want help resolving the issues surrounding trust, a relationship counselor can help. This person can help you learn how to resolve the difficulties in the relationship and how to interact differently. The therapist supports changes in the way you interact with each other so that you can start building mutual trust. - Find a therapist who has experience working with couples and a therapist who will host you together. You can consult the website of your health insurance to see which therapists are affiliated with your health insurance. You can also search online or visit your doctor for names and addresses.
Part 2 of 3: Concerning your insecurities
Work on your self-esteem. If you feel insecure, you may think that you are inferior to your partner, or you may be afraid that he or she will find someone who would be better than you. Recognize that these are your own insecurities and probably have nothing to do with your partner. Build your self-esteem by acknowledging your own qualities, by doing things that make you feel good about yourself, and by talking positively about yourself instead of negatively. - For example, if your inner dialogue keeps on being about how weird you are, or how badly you should feel ashamed about something, replace it with something that makes you feel good about yourself, such as, “Even though I couldn't To put it clearly, I tried and I communicated better than before. ”
- If your lack of self-esteem is undermining your relationship, it is advisable to seek the help of a certified therapist yourself. The therapist can help you build your self-esteem, so you can further build your relationship in a healthy way.
Find out what your interests and hobbies are. Develop yourself as an individual, not just as a partner in a relationship. Having interests and hobbies can also act as an outlet for stress. Find an activity that you feel good about and enjoy. Try to pay attention to this hobby at least once a week. - If you can't think of anything you like, try volunteering. You can then get to know new people and you mean something to your society.
- You can also take up a new sport or do something else such as yoga, painting, dancing, walking, or making music.
Seek support from your friends and family. Talk to a friend or family member you trust about your jealousy or other trust related issues. If you need help or advice, go to someone you trust and with whom you can talk well about it. Remember that your loved ones cannot always help you, but they can listen. - Spend time with your friends and family regardless of your relationship. Make time for dinners, outings, and other activities with people you care about.
Deal with your emotions in a healthy way. If you have fears or jealousies in your relationship, learn to deal with these emotions without getting angry or hurting your partner. If you're feeling stressed, try taking a few deep breaths before blaming or suspicious of your partner. This can help you feel calm both mentally and physically. - If you have trouble processing your emotions, try writing in a journal, listening to music, or going for a walk.
Part 3 of 3: Getting beyond your own hurt
Acknowledge the pain of the past. Perhaps you have been hurt in a past relationship or in your family, which is now making it difficult for you to trust your current partner. Recognize that your partner is not the one who hurt you, even if your past experiences were real and important enough to be taken seriously. If you are struggling to trust your partner because of a past relationship, it is important to acknowledge your experience and see how it affects your current relationship. - Maybe your partner has hurt or betrayed you in the past. If your trust has been broken in the past, forgive the other person and move on, if you want to go further with the relationship.
- For example, if your previous partner cheated on you, it makes sense to be extra vigilant in a subsequent relationship. However, keep in mind that your current partner is not the one who cheated on you.
Identify your current trust issues. Take a moment to consider what specific issues you may encounter in relation to trust. Indicate for yourself which behavior and which situations make you insecure. Ask yourself if your partner is really acting suspiciously, if he lied to you in the past, or been unfaithful to you in any way. - If your partner has not acted suspiciously or has been unfaithful to you, and you are still concerned, recognize that your own insecurity is likely the cause of your distrust.
- If your partner has cheated on you (or if you've been unfaithful), ask yourself if you can let go and if you want to move on with the relationship.
Trust yourself. You may be doubting yourself because you have chosen partners in the past who were not to be trusted. Be willing to engage in intense emotions, and not to engage in irresponsible behavior (such as cheating) or to take it out on your partner. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you may have made in the past and allow yourself to move on with your life. - Recognize that you have made mistakes in the past, or that you have been hurt in the past, but that you have been able to learn from those experiences. Accept those lessons and move beyond the pain by forgiving yourself.
See a therapist for individual therapy. Perhaps you were abused as a child or deeply hurt in a previous relationship. If you find it difficult to process past experiences, and those experiences are causing you trouble trusting your partner, consider seeing a therapist so they can help you with that. A therapist can help you come to terms with your feelings and heal the pain. You don't have to do everything alone. - You can find a therapist through your health insurance policy or by searching online. You can also get a referral from your doctor or a friend.
