Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Weighing the pros and cons
• Part 2 of 4: Getting started
• Part 3 of 4: Long-term survival strategies
• Part 4 of 4: Protecting yourself from danger
• Tips
• Warnings
• Necessities

Have you ever thought about running away from home? It is a big step that can completely change your life. You may want to think about whether you really want to "go for it" or not. There are many reasons young people think about running away from home - some of those reasons are good, while others are less good. Always try to think about the unpleasant things that could happen. Probably the most important thing young people should understand is that running away is a lot harder and a lot less tough and adventurous than you might think. You have to deal with cold, sleepless nights; with danger and hunger; and then there is the all-consuming feeling of being lost without knowing where to go. Despite all this, there may be good reasons why you might want to run away. Read this article to help you better understand the consequences, and make sure you start well prepared if you finally decide that running away is the best choice for you.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Weighing the pros and cons

1. Try to think about what you are about to do. Why do you want to run away? Do you have a really good reason to walk away, or are you just fed up with everything and have had it with the situation you are in? There is a difference between running away for a good reason (if you are in physical danger) and running away for the wrong reason (you just had a fight with your parents). Don't make a hasty decision at a time when you are angry; you may regret it later.
2. Think of the people who will suffer if you walk away. Humans are social beings. We bond with other people out of necessity and need, but also because we feel good to be close to each other. Think about the people who will be seriously harmed if you decide to run away. And that is your fault. You may not know, but they will think about you all the time.
   • Think about your parents. It may not always seem that way, but your parents love you very much. They see themselves in you, and they may even wish for a better future for you than for themselves. Quarrels and disagreements with your parents are part of it; their love for you never changes.
   • Think about the rest of your family. Your siblings, your uncles and aunts, your grandpas and grandmas - all of them have a relationship with you that goes deeper than friendship. It is entirely possible that you will hurt your family by running away, even if they had nothing to do with it themselves.
   • Think about your friends. Your friends are the lifeblood of your social safety net. They laugh with you, they make you feel better when you don't like it, and sometimes they even see you as a brother or sister. If you walk away, it may mean leaving them for good.
   • Think about other mentor figures in your life. Perhaps a teacher of yours fulfills that role, or a friend of your mother's. Many young people do have a mentor figure in their lives that looks after them. They want us to be okay and for nothing to happen to us. Your decision will no doubt affect these people.
3. Make sure you understand that running away from home could be a criminal offense. In the Netherlands you will not be punished as a minor (someone under 18) simply because you ran away from home. However, if you live abroad, running away from home before the law may cause you to commit a crime. This is the case, for example, in certain US states, such as South Carolina, Texas and West Virginia. In those states, running away from home if you are under 18 is a violation.
   • On the other hand, if your parents or caregivers have tried to hurt you, then you do need to get away from home, and in such a case, it is basically legal everywhere - at least if you do it the right way. . Tell a teacher or another adult you trust or call the police. Make sure you have a place where you can sleep a night or two before doing this so you don't have to go to some strange place.
   • You may fear that a foster family will be worse than living with your parents, even if they hit you, but you better take the risk. You may be able to stay with another family member or with a friend if you arrange it in advance.
   • You must therefore take into account that, even if running away is not a criminal offense in itself, you could be faced with other measures if you are found. You may be placed out of your home and have to live with a foster family, whether or not in another city. If you run away abroad, you may face fines, and you may be subject to certain restrictions or required drug testing.
4. Talk to someone about your plans to run away from home. You could call the Child Care and Protection Services on number 030-888 24 00; or call 0625077474 (Walking away) or go to http://www.weglopen.nl to talk about your situation and the options you have.
5. If possible, do something about why you want to run away. A child may want to run away for many different reasons. By addressing the root cause, you may be able to fix the problem before it gets so bad that you feel compelled to walk away. Below are a number of figures from research among runaway youths:
   • Of all the runaways surveyed, 47% indicated that they had a major problem with one of their parents, or with both. Is there perhaps another adult who could advise you on how to solve the problem with your parents? If you can't think of anyone, consider calling Child Care and Protection.
   • More than half of all runaway youth staying in shelters said their parents had told them to run away, or that their parents knew they would run away but didn't mind. If your parents ask you to leave home or tell you that they don't care if you run away, call Child Protection or go there. It is no betrayal of your parents to look for someone who cares about you. You deserve that.
   • Of all runaway and homeless girls, 80% stated that they had been physically or sexually assaulted or abused. If you are the victim of physical or sexual abuse, find an adult you can trust (who could be one of your parents or someone else) and go to the police to report it.
6. List all the pros and cons that running away could be. It often has a comforting effect to put your thoughts on paper, helping you to get things clearer for yourself. Below we have listed a number of possible advantages and disadvantages of running away for you.
   • The advantages:
     • The possibility of being released from neglect, abuse (verbal, physical or sexual) and / or mistreatment
     • Opportunities to travel, discover new places and meet new people
     • More freedom and the opportunity to grow up and develop as a person, no matter how difficult it gets
     • Being able to become more independent and feel like you can do many things all by yourself and solely for yourself
   • The cons:
     • Chances are that you will have to spend nights outside, on the street, under bridges or shelters, or even on roofs.
     • Increased risk of depression, loneliness or feeling powerless (32% of all runaway youths have attempted suicide at some point in their lives).
     • There is a good chance that you will have to deal with violence, drugs, diseases and prostitution if you live on the street.
     • The feeling that you have no one to talk to, that no one cares about you, or that the things you do don't matter.
7. Allow a week for your emotions to cool down before making an important decision. Often times we let our emotions make decisions for us while we think we are rational. This may be good in itself, but sometimes it is wrong because we are fooling ourselves and think we are rational. To make sure your emotions cool down and to really give yourself time to think about the decision that might change your life, it's best to wait a week before doing anything. Seek advice from people you can trust and possibly talk to them about your plan. After a week, your rational brain will likely have had enough time to make a decision. This varies from case to case, so you will need to consider the consequences of your runaway action if your parents eventually find you. Your parents may get angry with you instead of trying to help you.

Part 2 of 4: Getting started

1. Try to plan everything as well as possible. Think about what you will do if things don't go quite according to plan and come up with solutions for everything. Below we have listed a number of situations for you that you should always take into account:
   • What do you do when you get sick?
   • What do you do when you get caught?
   • What are you going to eat?
   • How are you going to keep yourself clean?
   • How do you ensure that you stay off the street and out of danger?
2. Try to find a safe place with someone you trust. If you have someone to help you walk away and who you can stay with for at least a while, you've got it covered. But if that option is not available, where are you going to sleep?
3. Pack a bag or backpack with your basic necessities. Make sure your bag is as light as possible; really take only the most essential. Now is not the time to break the heavy bag record. Bring some food, money, an extra set of clothes, a jacket or sweater for when it gets cold, clothes with pockets, a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, sanitary pads or tampons, and whatever else you might need . If you carry your things in a backpack, most adults will think you are just a school kid. In order not to be recognized, only take clothes that you hardly ever wear. Some other things that can be useful during your wanderings are:
   • A (Stanley) knife
   • Maps
   • An umbrella
   • A combination lock
   • A blanket
   • A raincoat
4. Bring some of your pocket or savings with you, but don't bring so much that it might stand out. Maybe € 10 for the bus or another mode of transport, and € 50 just in case. If you plan on stealing money, find a place where you can get it quickly without your parents catching you.
   • If you have a credit card, be sure to bring it with you, because a credit card is much more difficult for someone else to steal and use, and you can block it at any time. Just keep in mind that your parents could also block him if they discover that you have run away. Don't use a credit card as your sole source of money. Remember that using a debit or credit card can also give away your hideout. The bank can track your card and check which shops or restaurants you have been to. The same goes for cell phones; these can also be used as a tool for others to find out your whereabouts. Be aware of these things and use bank cards and phones wisely.
5. Wait until you get the right chance to squeeze out. Make sure you have plenty of time to walk away before anyone notices that you have disappeared. For example, try to leave just before you come to school in the morning, or as soon as everyone has left home and is not coming back for the time being. And if you do go, do it quickly. The last thing you want is for someone nearby to see you leave.
6. Look for a suitable means of transport. You will have to find a way to move yourself quickly and easily. It is best to use public transport, such as a city bus, or, for longer distances, the train.

Part 3 of 4: Long-term survival strategies

1. Make up a story. You will have to accept that at some point someone will come and want to know where you are from or what you are doing. You will have to think of something about this. Try to think of something that sounds likely and realistic, but do not say you ran away from home.
   • Keep it simple. It should be something you can remember so that wherever you go you can tell the same story over and over again. Words are spreading fast in the modern world no matter what they are about, so it's best to make sure that when you've run away you tell the same thing all the time, just to keep people from getting suspicious. Avoid contradictions in your story by thinking carefully about the details in advance.
   • If you're really serious about running away for good, change your name. Think of it as a joke, but don't choose a crazy name. If you think about it, a very common name is probably best because a common name is more difficult to remember, and your main goal is to keep from getting too familiar.
2. Stay near large supermarkets or candy stores. Such places often set up free sample dishes for the customers, which you can fill your stomach with. Always walk with a cart or basket and try to see if you have a goal; don't just hang around. You can also use the public toilets there to wash and go to the toilet.
   • It may not be that romantic, but you can always rummage through the trash behind large supermarkets. You will be amazed at what is thrown away. The more you eat from bins, the more your body will get used to food that is no longer top quality. You may feel uncomfortable with it at first, but it should get better over time.
3. Find shelter if you don't already have one. If you don't have a place to sleep yet, you will have to find somewhere to stay. Try to find a reasonably safe place under a bridge, in a porch, somewhere in an empty house, or perhaps in a public building that is also open at night and on weekends. If none of this works, find the nearest homeless shelter and ask if there is a place available.
   • If you need a place to spend your time during the day, public libraries, churches, school or university buildings, and train stations are all suitable options. Those places are safe and usually there are enough people walking around so that you will not be noticed quickly.
   • If you are staying somewhere downtown in the winter, you could look for a building with an elevator. Walk all the way up the stairs next to the lift shaft. There is a chance that you will find a nice, warm room there, where not many people will disturb you.
   • Do not go into the woods or the dunes or the heath. Such places are usually very remote, which could make it easier for you to fall victim to other people's bad intentions. As romantic as it may seem, it is very difficult to survive in the great outdoors these days, especially if you know little about plants and animals. Try to find places where other people come too; usually it is safer there.
4. At some point, you will likely need money, so learn how beg. Begging is asking other people for money. It's not something to be proud of, and a lot of people will outright ignore you, but if you use the right strategies you can have quite a bit of success with it, and maybe even get enough money to save some.
   • Choose a suitable place. Look for a crowded place with a lot of people, such as near a mall, a supermarket, or a place where people come out with change. Ask potential sponsors for money after they leave the store, not before entering. You can also ask drivers for money at a busy intersection. Always stand on the left side of the car, where the driver is seated.
   • Smile, and politely and kindly ask people for money. You won't get a lot of money if you look mean, frustrated, or unhappy. If someone does give you money, thank them with a smile and a nice comment.
5. Avoid the foreign accent trick. Some runaways think they can disguise their identity by pretending to have a foreign accent, but that's usually not a good idea. With a foreign accent you draw attention to yourself. People will want to know more about you and your culture, when in reality you should try to be as invisible as possible. Moreover, pretending to have an accent is incredibly difficult; no matter how good you thinks your accent is foreign, it matters how well all other people think it is.
6. Take care of yourself. This is by far the hardest part, especially eating healthy and maintaining good hygiene. Hospitals are known for their exceptionally clean toilets, and you also have quite a bit of privacy. Here are some more tips you can use to keep your personal care up, even if you're less motivated:
   • Use the toilets in large supermarkets. You won't have that much privacy, but on the other hand, there aren't that many people walking around either. (Think about it: how often do you go to the bathroom in a supermarket?) You can probably give yourself a great hand wash, using some of the free soap and paper towels provided.
   • Use lube to shave and comb your hair. It may sound strange, but it works. Put a dollop of lube on your face and rub it out with a little water. Shave yourself, but be sure to rinse the razor immediately afterwards. If you want to comb or straighten your hair in the morning, just a little bit works wonders without being noticeable afterwards.
   • Shower at public swimming pools, or at schools or universities. If you pretend to study there, you do not need to identify yourself at most schools or universities. This probably won't always work, but it's worth a try, especially if you can make an officially enrolled student believe you belong.
7. Think about what to do when you run out of food. Come up with a plan, and when you run out of options, consider going back home or, if you're really serious about running away, try starting a new life. Find a job, some place to sleep (no matter how bad, all you need is shelter from the cold and rain), and some friends in your new town or town.
8. Productively control any kind of despair. If things aren't going well and you have nowhere to go, it can make you quite desperate. Try to get that feeling under control and avoid doing stupid things in your desperation. Fill your stomach with a treat, even if it means spending your last cent on it. Take a deep breath, even though that may seem like a waste of time. Think back to a time when you felt strong and resourceful, ready to conquer the world. Control your despair by controlling your attitude. There are no problems that you cannot solve with a little bit of courage and creativity.

Part 4 of 4: Protecting yourself from danger

1. Don't hitchhike. If you do decide to hitchhike, remember that there are drivers who may have bad intentions for you. They could leave you alone somewhere and even abuse you. Fortunately, there are also nice people who are more than happy to give you a lift. The point is that you try to estimate what kind of driver you are dealing with, and then make the right decision.
   • Try to get a ride from a nice lady, a family with children, or a car with several passengers. They will probably ask you where you are going or what you are doing, so have a credible lie ready. Don't tell them you ran away from home and try to say as little as possible to them.
   • If someone who looks rough or scary offers you a ride, ask first to that person he or she is going to. Then, when you have heard the answer, say that you are going elsewhere, preferably to a place in a completely different direction. If the person offers to take you there, politely decline and then cut off communication. Wait for him or she to drive away.
2. Protect yourself. If you are in a large city with a lot of people, remember that there are likely to be people who could pose a threat to you. Bring something you can defend yourself with, such as pepper spray, cleaning products or perfume; perfume contains chemicals that can cause blindness. By the way, it is better to be prepared for and avoid potential dangers than to try to be tough and confront them.
   • Avoid people who pose a threat to you. Stand up straight, make yourself as tall as possible, and maintain self-control. Do not argue or challenge such people. If possible, find a public, well-lit area with a lot of people. Large numbers usually means strength.
3. Don't let yourself be persuaded into prostitution. Don't let anyone do anything to you that you're uncomfortable with, and if you get so desperate that you think prostitution is your only resort, get help. Local charities and churches will always help you without asking too many questions.
   • Prostitution is a common consequence of running away. In fact, a 1998 study found that 43% of the children who ran away from home, both boys and girls, were eventually forced into prostitution. That is almost half.
   • Due to the high likelihood of them entering prostitution and the poor hygienic conditions in which they find themselves, children who run away from home are considerably more susceptible to becoming infected with HIV / AIDS. Therefore, always be very careful.
4. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Homeless youth are much more likely to lapse into the use of drugs and / or alcohol. This can lead to illnesses such as HIV / AIDS or even death from an overdose. And there are all the other effects that the use of drugs and / or alcohol can have. So be careful and don't use drugs, no matter how bad you feel.
5. Make sure you don't get arrested. Homeless people are much more likely to be arrested, usually for causing a nuisance, hanging around uselessly, or trespassing. You don't want to risk ending up in jail for a while, so be careful where you walk, what you look like and what you do.
6. Watch out around other tramps. Many people are homeless because they have had a difficult time, while they are also very nice and honest people. Unfortunately, there are many homeless people who are utterly desperate or mentally unstable. Especially abroad, where people with a mental disorder do not always receive the care they need, many mentally ill people end up on the street. Such people can be dangerous and can attack you for no reason. Therefore, try to keep yourself safe by staying away from other homeless people.

Tips

• On the go, wear a cap or anything else that covers your head and face as best you can. The recordings of security cameras will be checked.
• Don't panic if you get on the news. If you go missing, chances are they'll mention it on the news. If you see yourself on the news in public, just walk out of the store or restaurant where the TV is on.
• Be polite, but don't be too nice to anyone or they'll want to know everything about you.
• If you do decide to walk away for good, the best thing to do is to adopt a new identity. Think of it as a "fresh start". Changing your name, getting a new haircut, and wearing different clothes will really help you distance yourself from the one you used to be. Sometimes trying to look like someone of the opposite sex can help: A metamorphosis can certainly make a difference if you don't want to be recognized.
• Do not update your status on social media! Do not add new friends to your old account. If you think it's necessary, create a new account with a fake name, but know it's risky.
• You can consider staying with different friends alternately. Start somewhere no one will look for you and after a while, or when someone betrays you, leave and stay with someone else. However, you may need to make sure that you have a map of every home you are staying in to determine the best escape route for emergencies. You should also be careful not to accidentally leave anything that could lead the authorities to track down.
• If you have experience surviving in the wilderness, you could bring a tent and live in it for a while. In the long term, this alone is not a good solution.
• If / When you are eventually found, be honest about the reason for your departure.
• You could also just pack one extra set of clothes and stay away one night. Your parents will get the message and you will avoid the dangers of running away forever.
• Check if there is a food bank in the city where you are staying. Food banks provide free food parcels to people in need.

Warnings

• Use your common sense. Anyone who runs away runs the risk of being caught, robbed, raped or murdered. It's something you can regret for the rest of your life.
• Leave your cell phone at home (unless you can change the number or SIM card), as well as your debit or credit card, as it could allow others to track you where you are. If you need to call someone, ask to borrow a cell phone or call from a pay phone. When you buy something, always pay with cash.
• Be prepared that at some point you will run out of food and money, which is inevitable. From then on, you will become dependent on the free samples in supermarkets, and on public toilets and mattresses in bed shops, if at all possible.
• Only go out into the street if there is really no other option. First check whether you can stay with a friend. It is extremely dangerous to be alone on the street; you should therefore only use it as a last resort.
• Be careful when hiding in someone's home because the person you are sheltering could be arrested for hiding a runaway child.
• Understand that running away from home could cause your parents and siblings more pain than you can ever imagine.
• The hardest part is leaving the family you love behind, so make sure (if you really want to keep it going) that you are walking away for a good reason and not just to get attention.
• Do not bring a friend or acquaintance with you. The extra stress isn't worth it, and if you don't get along, you run the risk of your friend betraying you, or worse, saying you kidnapped him or her ...
• If you feel that you have been unfairly punished, think about what you did and how many times you did it. Also try to remember the good times you had with your family. You may forgive them and eventually decide not to walk away.

Necessities

• Medicines / patches (only bring medicines for nausea)
• A coat
• Money (€ 50 or more)
• Food (non-perishable products). If you bring fruit or bread, make sure you eat it within two weeks.
• Clothing (multiple items of clothing)
• Water (keep the bottle so you can refill it; to save money, you can refill it every time you pass a stream or water fountain)
• Flashlight (with an extra set of batteries)
• Matches / lighters
• A blanket
• A pocket knife
• Deodorant (not necessary, but good to have with you)
• Toothbrush / toothpaste
• Some water to start your day
• Toilet paper
• Mobile phone (preferably prepaid).
• Entertainment (a book, a handheld game console, or a laptop and a place to recharge the battery.) If you decide to bring something electronic, make sure you keep it with you at all times so it won't get stolen is becoming.
• A note for the people you leave behind
• A map