Content

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• Part 1 of 2: Be quiet during a conversation
• Part 2 of 2: Be quiet during your day

Do people always ask you to be quiet? Do you often say something without thinking about it and then regret what you said? Do you often feel that it is too busy in your head and would you like to know how you can calm down? Well, the good news is that anyone can be quiet - it just takes time and patience. If you want to know how to be quiet, read on.

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Part 1 of 2: Be quiet during a conversation

1. Think before you speak. People who are naturally busy and noisy do not master this important skill. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you really want to say something, stop for a moment, wait a while, and ask yourself if what you want to say is really helpful given the situation. Do you give people information they need, make them laugh, say something to cheer them up, or just say something to hear your own voice? If you think that what you want to say doesn't really benefit anyone, keep it to yourself.
   • A guideline to follow when starting out is to say only one out loud of every two things you think. As you work to quiet down, you can then say one in three things out loud or even one in four things.
2. Don't interrupt another. Never interrupt someone while they are speaking unless you think what you have to say is important to the conversation (let's be honest, when is that ever the case?). Not only is it rude to interrupt people, but it also disrupts the flow of the conversation and makes you appear like a loud person. If you really want to make a comment or ask a question, remember what you want to say and wait for the other person to finish talking to see if what you want to say is still relevant.
   • You will be amazed at how many of your questions you will get an answer if you just let people speak.
3. Instead of talking about yourself, ask questions. If you would like to be quieter, chances are you often talk about yourself or things that you find very interesting and keep going without giving other people a chance to voice their ideas. So the next time you have a conversation and you are speaking, ask people questions to learn more about the topic of conversation or about themselves. You could ask them what their hobbies are and what they do in their spare time.
   • You don't have to make it sound like an interrogation or ask questions that make people uncomfortable. Keep it light, friendly, and polite.
4. Count down from ten before you speak. If you've come up with the greatest comment ever, wait ten seconds. Count down from ten to see if the idea suddenly sounds less appealing to you or to give other people a chance to respond to keep you from saying what you wanted to say. This is also an excellent technique if you are angry or upset and want to say what is bothering you. Giving yourself some time to calm down will keep you from saying something you later regret.
   • If you are experienced in this, you can even count down from five. Even a brief moment like that can help you figure out whether to keep still or not.
5. Listen carefully. If you want to be quiet, you will have to work on learning to listen carefully. When someone talks to you, you make eye contact, pay attention to important points, and try to read between the lines to find out what the other person is really saying and how he or she really feels. Let the other person talk, don't get impatient or get distracted by things like text messages on your phone.
   • Ask questions to help the other person explain his or her ideas better, but don't ask about things unrelated to the topic of conversation. This will only confuse the other person.
   • The more you work on your listening skills, the less you will feel the urge to talk all the time.
6. Stop complaining. You may find yourself whining and complaining about all the things that annoyed you that day when you are talking. Maybe you tend to complain about the heavy traffic you encountered that morning, the ugly email you got from a friend, or how you can't stand the cold this winter. But what do you really achieve with that verbal diarrhea? If complaining about all the things you can't change really makes you feel better, write about it in your journal. There's no need to complain about it out loud, is there?
   • If you have a real problem and want to talk about it, that's fine. This is about the feeling of complaining about complaining.
7. Concentrate on your breathing. If you're in a rush and want to start talking for no reason, focus on your breathing. Count how many times you inhale and exhale and try to take even deeper breaths. Stop fumbling, listen to what's going on around you, and focus on your thoughts and feelings instead of what you really want to share.
   • This technique will calm you down and show you that talking isn't all that important.
8. Take the time to process what you hear. You may be the type of person who responds directly to the things you hear and wants to directly express thoughts, fantasies, and ideas, but this is not really the best way to deal with the situation. If you take the time to process what's happening and come up with a question or comment, you'll have to say less and make targeted questions and comments.
   • This gives you more time to process your thoughts and to avoid spraying all the extra things that do not benefit anyone.

Part 2 of 2: Be quiet during your day

1. Find a hobby that requires you to be quiet. By practicing being quiet on your own, you can learn to be quieter when you are with other people. One way to practice being quiet is to find a hobby that requires you to be quiet and preferably alone. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, songwriting, stamp collecting, birdwatching, or anything else that requires you to be quiet and not be able to say the things you have in mind.
   • Reading also works great for staying quiet because you have to process the words you read.
   • Try not to say anything for at least an hour while pursuing your hobby. Then try it for two hours and then three. Do you think you could go all day without saying anything?
2. Get rid of your energy in other ways. You may be talking a lot or too much because you feel like you have a lot of energy and you don't know how to get rid of that energy. So find another outlet to be able to express all the things that you have in your head so that you can get rid of all the extra things in your head.
   • Exercise, especially running, can help you get enough exercise and get rid of that extra energy. Taking long walks and cooking can help you in the same way. Find out what works best for you.
3. Resist the temptation to chat online. Talking to others online only creates noise in your life and most of what you say is not that important. If you really wanted to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend, you would do it on the phone or face to face instead of typing furiously at the computer, wouldn't you? The next time you tend to check g-chat to see what your 28th best friend is doing, turn off your computer and take a walk instead.
4. Take breaks from social media. Even better, take a break from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other social networks you use too often. These sites are filled with noise, with people trying to impress each other, and with meaningless words that you might want to comment on. If you are really addicted, spend only 10-15 minutes a day on all the social networks you are a member of instead of constantly checking them whenever you get the chance.
   • Would you rather not hear what your best friends have to say in real life instead of telling the world what complete strangers have to say? Cut off any extra voices you hear and focus only on the ones that are important to you.
5. Keep a diary. Make it a habit to write in your journal at the end of each day or week. This can help you jot down those extra thoughts, stay still, and feel like you could get rid of everything without telling your 15 best friends about it. You can just write about what you went through in a day, which will make you ask more questions and write about the deeper thoughts in your head.
   • You will be amazed at how quieter you are if you just write one page a day in your journal.
6. Meditate. Meditation is a great way to stop thinking, calm your body, and stay still. Every morning, find a comfortable chair in a quiet room, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing for 10-20 minutes. Try to relax in different parts of your body and observe what you hear, smell, feel and notice while sitting there. Put away all serious thoughts and just focus on the moment and appreciate the silence. If you do that, you will have a quieter day and can be more focused.
   • Meditating can help keep you from feeling overwhelmed by giving you more control over your mind and body.
7. Enjoy nature. Take a walk. Go to the beach. Look at all the beautiful plants in the garden on the other side of the city. Go to the forest for a weekend. Do whatever you need to do to get closer to nature. You will be in awe of the beauty and power of something so much more permanent than yourself. You will feel all your doubts and thoughts fall away. It's hard to keep talking about what you think the next math test will ask for when you're at the bottom of a beautiful mountain that has existed since time immemorial.
   • Make time in nature part of your weekly routine. You can even take your diary with you into nature and write down your thoughts there.
8. Turn off your music. Sure, music makes studying, running and the trip to work more fun. However, music can create a lot of extra noise that makes you want to talk more, become more restless and aroused. Classical music and jazz are fine, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create noise that lingers in your head and doesn't make you feel calm or in control of your day.
9. Give it time. If you are naturally loud and talk a lot, you will not be able to become quiet overnight. However, if you make the effort to talk a little less each day, find hobbies and activities that make you quieter, and work on your listening skills instead of your speaking skills, you will be able to become quieter faster than you think. So sit back, have patience and enjoy the feeling of all the extra noise leaving your head and the peace of mind that your vocal cords get.