Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Recognizing situations that trigger fear
• Part 2 of 3: Tackling the list
• Part 3 of 3: Working on your self-confidence
• Tips
• Warnings

You want to meet new people, make friends and show yourself to the world. However, social situations can be a nerve-wracking affair for anyone. In this article, you will find some simple and effective ways to help you relax in social situations and overcome your anxiety.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Recognizing situations that trigger fear

1. Learn to recognize which situations and people cause you fear. Do you suddenly feel anxious when you walk into a classroom or school cafeteria? Perhaps some people, such as your boss or your colleagues, cause you fear when you talk to them. You may slam when you're with a group of close friends and the conversation turns to certain topics. Pay close attention to the times when you feel fear. What is the cause of your anxiety? When do you feel fear?
   • Also be aware of situations you tend to avoid. Do you always sit alone during your lunch break instead of asking others if you can sit with them? Do you always decline party invitations? Do you rush past your co-workers as they get ready for a drink during happy hour? Do you avoid public restrooms?
2. List the places that trigger fear in you. Take a notepad with you when you go somewhere and keep it handy. Whenever you feel anxious, write it down. Describe where you are, who is with you and how you feel. Be specific.
   • Journaling is a good way to "talk" without fear of being judged negatively by others. Keep one and register regularly. Draw in it and add photos and your favorite quotes to make it a personal booklet.
3. Organize the list and put the situations that cause you the most fear at the top. View and organize the list you have made of situations and people. Put the situations that cause you the most fear at the top and the situations that you find less scary at the bottom. For example, at the bottom of the list could be something like asking a question during class or asking a stranger for directions. At the top of the list might be something if someone asks for dinner or sing a karaoke song. It's up to you, but be completely honest.
   • You could go through all the items on your list one by one and rate them to make it easier to organize. Put a 1 for situations that make you "somewhat scared", a 2 for situations that make you "fairly scared" and a 3 for situations that make you "very afraid".
4. Set small, measurable goals for each item on your list. Of course you want to work to feel more comfortable in groups and feel more confident, but what steps do you need to take to achieve that exactly? It would be nice if you could work through the list in a week and get rid of all your fears in one sitting, wouldn't you? That is probably way too much for you to process at one time. A measurable goal could be to say something three times during a class discussion about a book, or to ask a person to go out to dinner - something you can easily evaluate with a yes or no, "I did it" or "I can't."
   • Use your list of points as a guide and start with the situations that cause you the least fear.

Part 2 of 3: Tackling the list

1. Start slowly and try to achieve a few goals at a time. Think of it as if it were a training program: if you are going to do the bench press for the first time, it will certainly not make you stronger if you immediately add weights of 130 kilos; it only puts you in danger. So do not immediately present yourself as a speaker for important presentations during a conference if you do not yet feel comfortable during an informal conversation with your colleagues. This is exactly why it is a smart idea to make an ordered list of the situations that trigger fear in you.
   • When you feel like you can easily accomplish the first measurable goal on your list (such as making three comments regularly during class), tackle the next point on your list (perhaps starting a conversation with a stranger). in the bus).
   • Keep in mind that the points on your list are getting more and more difficult and you have to deal with them that way. When you're ready to ask someone out for dinner, you can't suddenly stop making comments during class. If you are starting to feel stressed and anxious, it may be too early to address the next point on your list. Do everything more slowly and at your own pace.
2. Know when to stop. Have you tried going to work for Christmas and felt very uncomfortable and anxious? It is not good for anyone to sit helplessly in a corner and feel unhappy. After all, you work through your list at your own pace.
   • Try to stay there for at least 5 to 10 minutes. Sometimes the situation just doesn't look right (as if something bad is about to happen) and then suddenly everything goes a lot better in a wonderful way and you wish you hadn't left so early.
   • Always come up with a ready excuse in advance in case you feel uncomfortable and want a good reason to just leave. Whether you're telling people you're going to drop by for a few minutes before taking a friend to the airport, looking after your little brother or sister, or helping your dad clean the garage, you're free to do so as use an excuse to leave, or to stay if you're having fun. If someone asks about it, you can always rebuff them by saying you got a text message and you can stay now or you made a mistake on the date.
3. Speak up and make sure you actually have something to say. Trying to get out of your comfort zone in different ways shouldn't come at the expense of your opinion and what you have to say. When making a suggestion in a meeting at work, share the smart business strategy you devised a few weeks ago instead of literally saying something someone else has said before.
   • Try to speak a little louder than you normally do. Make eye contact and speak with determination. This radiates self-confidence and makes your story come across well.
   • Try not to talk about yourself too much. It's okay if you want to tell an interesting story, but be careful not to draw the whole conversation to yourself.
4. Ask questions. Asking questions is one of the easiest ways to feel more comfortable during a conversation or group conversation. This works better than coming up with clever or interesting things to say. You'll put other people at ease if you ask genuine open-ended questions and are genuinely interested in the answers to them.
   • If you are talking to someone else, ask their opinion about a particular event in the news or in sports. Discuss a movie you've both watched recently, a particular teacher you've both taught, or other things you have in common. If you are in a group, ask a question and say "I wonder what you guys think about ____." This keeps you busy, even if you have nothing to add to the topic yourself.
   • People will often ask you the same questions, so that the conversation is easy and fluid.
5. Listen actively and be curious. That can make a big difference. Don't just wait until it's your turn to say something. Listen to what someone else has to say and then respond to their story. Think carefully about what they say.
   • Watch your body language. Your body language is a big part of your conversations with others. Don't look over someone, try to make eye contact.
6. Give less value to the answers of others. A lot of fear stems from the feeling that you are being judged by others. Don't worry if you hear no the first time you ask someone to go out to dinner, or if people disagree with what you say in class. You are working towards an overall sense of confidence and the most important thing is that you work on the items on your list. At least you try!
   • Just be sure not to kick the fears of others into the ground at the expense of your own. Feel for others.

Part 3 of 3: Working on your self-confidence

1. Use relaxation techniques. If it is difficult for you to feel comfortable in new social situations, learn ways to relax. You can use meditation and techniques such as yoga, tai chi, and breathing exercises to calm yourself and prepare to deal with difficult situations in a calm manner.
   • Remember that your fear cannot hurt you. Learn to recognize when your body reacts to anxiety in an extreme way. Also learn how to calm yourself in such a situation.
2. Pick a mantra or song to cheer you up. Repeat a prayer, line of poetry, or famous quote for reassurance. Choose something that inspires you and that you can think about when you feel anxious.
   • Even a simple phrase like "I can do it" will help you calm down and feel confident.
3. Surround yourself with nice people you can trust. It will be easier for you to go to group meetings if you bring a friend who can reassure you. It's hard to do this all on your own. Get your best friends together and tell them you're working on your anxiety issues.
   • There may be talk or self-help groups in your hometown or region for people with anxiety complaints. This can be a good way to exchange experiences with others in a friendly and pleasant environment.
4. Don't think too much about the "cool" people around you. This can work especially well at school, but also at work, in the church or even in informal social situations. If you feel pressure to hang out with the most popular people in a group, ask yourself why you want to. Is it because you are really interested in them? This is often not the case.
   • Do not join a group if you are not interested in it. Be true to yourself.
5. Try a new "look". Change your hairstyle, change your clothing style, or have your ears pierced. These small changes will be noticed by others, but will also give you a renewed sense of self-confidence. Dress in a way that makes you feel good.
   • For inspiration, look to someone you admire, such as a celebrity or older sister or brother.
6. Make an appointment with a therapist. If you still haven't gotten much further after working on the goals on your list and are still experiencing serious fears that are undermining your health, talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Tips

• Be true to yourself. Remember that you don't have to do anything socially that you don't want to. Stay comfortable and come up with goals you want to achieve.

Warnings

• If you are experiencing severe panic attacks, it is good to get examined by a medical professional. When you recognize the symptoms and feel an attack coming, seek help from the emergency room or your doctor. Some of these symptoms include shortness of breath, chills, feeling light-headed, and chest pain. These are certainly not all symptoms of a panic attack.