Responding to a rude person

Video: How To Respond To Rude People - 8 Powerful Comebacks

Content

To step
Part 1 of 3: Setting boundaries
Part 2 of 3: Understand rudeness
Part 3 of 3: Responds with compassion
Tips
Warnings

Someone is rude when he or she does not consider the rights and feelings of others. Rude behavior often occurs suddenly and in an unpleasant or shocking way. . Responding to rude behavior calmly and with compassion is a valuable skill, especially if you deal with such a person all the time. Such behavior can be difficult to deal with, but fortunately there are techniques you can use to reply to a rude person, protect yourself, and even restore the disturbed contact. Experiencing rudeness can have a major impact on your health, so learning to cope will lead to a happier, less stressful life.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Setting boundaries

Choose whether or not to respond. Not everyone who is rude to you deserves a response. If the other person is clearly trying to get you into an argument by being annoying, don't let yourself be forced into a fight that serves no purpose. Resist the impulse to defend yourself, which is ultimately a more powerful way to protect yourself. This may be easier with an acquaintance than a colleague or family member, but you always have the right to ignore someone who is rude to you.
- If someone is pushing in line, it is rude. You can just ignore it or be assertive. It depends on how annoying you find it. However, if someone does not pardon after being burped, this is rude, but not necessarily something to comment on.
Speak assertive. Assertiveness is a middle way between being aggressive and passive. While an aggressive response can come across as bullying and a passive response can invite bullying, an assertive response helps you stick to your beliefs while also giving the other person their own space.
- One way you can be assertive is to speak clearly and consciously. Keep your voice firm and relaxed, but sincere.
- If someone comes in line and you want to say something about it, try something like, "Excuse me, sir / madam. Maybe you didn't see me, but I was in line in front of you."
Communicate how you feel. In addition to being an assertive communication technique, communicating your feelings explicitly may be helpful if the other person does not understand that he / she is doing something wrong. This can have various causes, such as a mental illness (eg a social anxiety disorder or autism). You never know what the other person is doing and why, so it is good practice to be clear about what you are feeling.
- Say something like, "It's hurtful to call me annoying because it makes me feel like you don't appreciate me as a person."
Be clear about what is acceptable. In addition to being clear about how you feel, it is good to state explicitly what is acceptable versus unacceptable behavior. The person may not be aware of your norms for acceptable behavior in social situations. Perhaps they grew up in a family where insults were easily passed on the table. If you don't intend to tolerate such rude behavior, let the person know.
- Say something like, "You hurt my feelings when you called me unpleasant because it made me feel undervalued as a person. Be aware of swear words you use around me."
Protect yourself. It is important to distance yourself from rude and harmful behavior. Unfortunately, some of the rudest people have the most sensitive people in their sights. Remember, it's not your fault if someone else is rude, even though they claim they are. Each person is responsible for how he or she acts, and you are not responsible for anyone else's rude behavior. However, there are methods of protecting yourself from the consequences of rudeness, such as:
- Talk about it with caring friends and family. If someone says something that hurts you, discuss it with your loved ones so that you can work through it together.
- Listening to yourself. Don't let yourself be caught off guard by what the other person is saying to or about you. Instead, take a step back from the situation and check it out for yourself.

Part 2 of 3: Understand rudeness

Learn to deal with rude behavior. As simple as it may sound, sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone is rude, wanting to playfully tease you in a friendly way, or if something else is out. Learn to recognize when there is blunt behavior in order to deal with it quickly and limit emotional damage. Some things to watch out for are:
- Yelling and other violent behavior, such as knocking something out of your hand.
- Not showing concern or respect for your rights and feelings.
- Talk about sex or other bodily functions in a way that offends others.
- Some behavior can go beyond what is considered rude. In those cases, you can consider whether you are being verbally abused. Do you feel like you have to walk on your toes all the time? Are you the victim of bad jokes that make you feel bad? Is your self-esteem in a downward spiral? If so, file a complaint with the HR department if the person is a coworker, or leave the person if they are a love partner.
Learn about what causes rude behavior. There are many reasons why someone might be rude to you, other than in retaliation for something you might have done. Understand why people engage in rude behavior in order to gain a broader perspective and be able to respond more consciously and effortlessly.
- A person can "put you down by comparing" to feel better about themselves. This is a social positioning tactic where feeling like they can bully you with rudeness and insults makes them feel stronger. This is of course due to insecurity rather than self-confidence.
- Research suggests that sometimes a person projects things about themselves that they don't want to admit to other people. For example, if deep down this person finds themselves unattractive, they may be telling other people they are ugly. This temporarily passes the problem on to others.
- A person can also react rude when they feel threatened. It doesn't have to be that you actually threaten them; they may just feel threatened by your presence, if you are confident or have other desirable traits.
Discover the underlying motivation. Ask yourself what in particular might force this person to approach you in this way. Maybe this person never learned manners? Or maybe he feels intimidated or scared or angry about something that has nothing to do with you? Think about your recent interactions and see if you can identify a possible cause that can help you respond appropriately.
- If the person is a coworker, did you perhaps forget to do something that was then shown on that coworker's plate?
- If the person is a family member, may you have sided with someone else in a discussion?
- The person may even try to ask you for help with an awkward detour, or want to get in touch but don't know how.
- Maybe they accidentally angered you, unaware of the rude behavior.
Learn about the consequences. If you're looking for a good reason to stay away from rude people or defuse rudeness, see how that attitude affects you. Having to endure rude behavior from others is harmful to you on all fronts; from your creativity and intellect to how helpful you want to be to other people. Bluntness may seem like a small thing that can be easily overcome and repaired, but research tells a different story.

Part 3 of 3: Responds with compassion

Apologize if necessary. Did the improper behavior have some other cause? Did you contribute to it or did you start your own unpleasant behavior because of something you did? If so, a heartfelt apology can make a big difference or at least cool the angry person down a bit. If they don't accept your apology, at least you can have some peace of mind knowing that you've admitted your mistake and tried to make it right. If you're not sure what you did wrong, you can still apologize in a general way:
- Example: "I'm sorry if I did something to offend you. I didn't mean to."
Use unbiased, nonviolent language. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of rude, heated insults, but if you want to respond more effectively and with greater understanding, take a deep breath and change the way you express your complaints.
- Bad example: "You are really rude to me!"
- Good example: "I feel hurt by what you say."
Ask the person about their needs. You can't always be the one to meet a rude person, but you can definitely ask him or her if there's anything you can do to help. You will go a long way with such a gesture.
- Example: "I'm sorry you're angry. Is there anything I can do or we can do together to make you feel a little better?"
Make your own requests. One way to end a situation where someone is rude to you is to make that person understand your point and what you need, in a powerful yet calm way. There are several steps in this process:
- Learn to recognize your feelings. Find out what is happening in you and what you can do to make it better.
- Explain to the person why you feel this way. Dress this in terms of your needs, rather than what he / she is doing wrong. Example: "I'm sorry, but I had a rough day and I'm very irritable at the moment. Can we continue this discussion later?"
- Request that something go a different way. Do not hesitate to ask to engage in a certain behavior or action after explaining why you want it.
Cultivate compassion. Compassion means "suffering together." If you can show the person that you care about her hurt feelings, that you want to help, then you can effectively develop compassion and empathy, which will end the dispute. We all deal with suffering and pain, so it shouldn't be too difficult to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand why that person is lashing out by being blunt. This kind of compassionate, compassionate response is worthwhile because compassion offers many benefits, including greater peace of mind, creativity, and healthier communication.
- Sometimes rude behavior occurs just because someone had a rough day. After meeting the person's needs and resolving their frustration, you may find that he or she apologizes for the improper behavior.

Tips

Take a deep breath and count to 10 to avoid reacting in the heat of the moment. This will activate the rest-and-digest part of your nervous system, help you relax and react less compulsively.