Getting over your ex

Video: HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX INSTANTLY | NO HOPE THEORY | BREAKUP PSYCHOLOGY

Content

To step
Tips
Warnings
Necessities

The end of a relationship is always painful, and usually involves quite a bit of negativity and confrontation. Even if you have lost interest in your partner and have stopped feeling love, it can be difficult to move on. After all, your former partner was an important part of your life. Add to that the complications of your ex's new romantic experiences, as well as losing some mutual friends, and it should come as no surprise that breakups are painstakingly avoided. Here are some steps you can take to learn how to cope with this emotionally stressful time.

To step

Don't feel sorry for yourself. Every so-called step back is an opportunity to take a leap forward. Trust that you can get over your ex, because you will.
- List all the reasons why you deserve to be happy. This will prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself. Add your family members, friends, opportunities, health and much more to the list. When you see how much you have you will feel acutely better.
Get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex: photos, gifts, phone number, etc.
- You don't necessarily have to destroy these things unless the person in question was a negative force in your life. If not, you can keep the items in a safe place. Later on, you'll be happy that you saved the memories, even if your ex wasn't that great.
Consult yourself. Did this person treat me well? Did he / she make me laugh or cry more often? Take time to ponder these things.
- List all the things your ex did that annoyed you. Write these things down: partly to end the relationship, partly to make a list of the things you will not look for in your new partner. Although it is difficult to find perfection, it is not good to bump into the same stone twice.
Have fun! Go out with your friends, go bowling, to the movies, ice skating or on a date. Do anything that will keep you from thinking about your ex.
- Examples of things you could do include:
  - Have a movie marathon on the weekends, featuring movies from the 1980s. Rent or download as many 80s movies (or anytime) as possible, and watch them with your friends. It doesn't get much better than John Cusack and Jamie Lee Curtis.
  - Build your own slide (or visit a water park). Put down a slippery tarpaulin in the backyard and put the garden fence on it. Go slither and slide.
  - Design and create original T-shirts. Send some of your designs to the printer, or buy a screen print and make your own. Name your team of friends and let your friends help design.
Go on vacation. You don't have to go far; you can also go to another city for a weekend. A little bit of time for yourself (or for yourself and friends) will give you a new perspective on the situation. Take in the natural beauty of the vacation destination. Find happiness in that beauty.
If you don't want to spend money on a vacation, try cooking. Cooking can be very calming and relaxing. Grab a recipe and cook for your friends and family: you don't have to eat alone.
Don't talk to the same friends who know him / her. It's best to keep a little distance between your ex's friends, even if they're nice people. The reason for this is that you want to rebuild your life. You don't want to end up in the vortex of your past life.
- When you see your friends, don't avoid them. But don't go the extra mile to make plans with them. You want to be polite and respectful, but it's hard to get over your ex if his / her friends keep reminding you of him / her.
- If your ex's friends ask you why you're “avoiding” them, say something like, “I'm really trying to take some time for myself. When I was with [your ex] I hardly had time for that. Now that we are no longer together, I make that a priority. ”
Talk to your family even if you think they aren't always helping you. They will always be there for you, and they can absolutely make you think about something else! Know that your family loves you unconditionally and that you can discuss more with your family than you think possible.
- If you're embarrassed, remember that your parents used to be young too. They've been through the same things - broken hearts, indecision, infatuation, the whole rambam - and therefore know how you feel. You can gain some wisdom and knowledge by talking to them.
Do something you've wanted to do for a while. When you are in a relationship, you make time for the other. Sometimes you sacrifice things that you would rather do, or things that were on your schedule. Now that you are no longer in a relationship, you can start doing the things you intended to do.
- Maybe you planned to volunteer at the local blood bank; maybe you wanted to visit your grandparents in the north of the country; maybe you finally wanted to get that “10” for your math exams. Whatever it is, now you can do everything you can to achieve it.
Cut off contact with your ex for a while, even if you decide to stay friends. When you talk to him / her again, make sure that you no longer harbor feelings for him / her. Shut it off. You don't necessarily have to find a new partner, but make sure you are 100% sure that you are over your ex before establishing a friendship.
Don't even look at him / her if he / she tries to contact you. This will show him / her that you are determined to forget him / her.
Find an easy way to reward yourself. Treat yourself a little. This does not have to be too elaborate, it is all about the thought. Maybe you can treat yourself to a visit to a spa, or you can bake something that meets your sweet tooth needs. Do something that proves your love for yourself.
Avoid alcohol and other stimulants. In films, the protagonist usually reaches for the whiskey when his relationship has come to an end. However, alcohol and other stimulants will not make the breakup any easier - so don't rely on it to get over your ex!
Make sure to keep busy. Rededicate yourself to work or school. Idleness is the devil's workshop. If you collapse somewhere that gives you satisfaction, it won't seem that bad at all to get over your ex.
Know that you are not alone. You may think that you are the only one who has ever felt so hurt. That is not true. And you will get over him / her. Time heals all wounds. Don't start a relationship with this person again - especially if you know he / she will hurt you again! Keep thinking about why you broke up. Talk about the same stone, right?

Tips

Listen to some good music.
You will not be unhappy forever. You might as well start to be happy right now!
Don't adjust yourself to like someone. Someone should love you for who you are!
If you find him / her in public, do not greet him / her or initiate a conversation. You don't want to fall into your old behavior and get hurt again.
Do not show him / her that you are bothered. Even if you do, you should pretend you don't. Later you will realize that you really are not bothered anymore.
Try to ignore him / her to make it clear that it doesn't make you feel bad. Try to avoid contact, and his / her friends as well.
Try to keep thinking positively. Everything happens for a reason.
Do not rush into new relationships. You don't want to burden someone else with your problems. When push comes to shove, you may realize that you barely know your new partner, or that you actually have no interest in him / her at all. Don't want revenge. Looking forward to getting better.
Try to make new memories with people who are not your ex. For example, if you last went to your favorite restaurant with your ex, go there with a friend. That way you won't have that nasty association every time you think of the above restaurant. Try to create new memories in as many areas as possible so that the memories of your ex are minimized.
Do not hesitate to meet other people, but do not rush into a new adventure. Give yourself time to recover, have fun with your friends, and enjoy the bachelor life.
Turn off your phone when you are having fun with your friends or family. Your phone could be a distraction.
When you have children, think about their happiness. The ending of the relationship can negatively affect your children - it can make them sad. So bring your kids to have fun! You don't want to be sorry.

Warnings

Don't beg your ex to come back. You will seem pathetic.
Just because you are angry with your ex does not mean you should seek revenge. Let it go. In the long run this is much more sensible and easier.
Don't pretend you like someone else to make your ex jealous. That never works, and you just waste your own time with it. You can also hurt someone unnecessarily with this.
Ignore the rumors and gossip about you and your ex. They don't deserve your time and attention.
Listing your ex's bad qualities can help. But if you do, make sure to keep that list to yourself. Don't let anyone else see it. At the end of the song, this is only hurting yourself.
Regarding step 4, don't take your friends to a place where you and your ex went on a date. Instead of having a nice evening out, you will only feel sad.