Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Continue
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with emotional pain
• Method 3 of 3: Deal with your feelings
• Tips
• Warnings

It is always difficult to end a relationship, whether it was your decision or the other person's. You are probably dealing with painful emotions, and you want to learn how to deal with those feelings as soon as possible. There are several ways you can process these painful emotions so that you can move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being careful about new relationships. Remember that it takes time and patience to get over a divorce. If things don't seem to get better over time, know that you can always find support from friends, family, or a therapist.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Continue

1. Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, it's better to keep your distance just after the divorce. This means that you do not see each other, do not call, email, text, have no contact via social media and do not see each other's friends or family. You don't have to cut off contact forever, but you should avoid all communication as long as you're not over your ex.
   • If he / she is trying to persuade you to meet up, honestly ask yourself what's the point. If you are going to discuss the past together, you may become captivated by the moment and it will be more difficult to let go of him / her afterwards.
   • You may need to be in touch to handle practical matters, such as moving house, signing papers, etc., but try to limit it to the bare essentials and keep the meetings or phone calls short and to the point.
2. Organize your space. A divorce means a new beginning. That's why cleaning and redecorating your home can be refreshing so you're ready for what's to come. A gang can make you depressed and stressed. You don't have to think too much when you're tidying your house, but you should focus just enough so that you can't think about the pain all the time.
   • Clean your room, hang some new paintings, tidy up your computer desktop. Even though it sounds very unimportant, it really makes you feel better.
3. Throw away painful memories. There can be all kinds of things that remind you of your ex - a song, a scent, a place. Keeping those things around will make it harder to get over the divorce. Get rid of anything that hurts your heart or stomach. It can work wonders if you don't keep being reminded of your ex.
   • If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or ring that you got from your ex, it's okay to keep it. But put it far away for now, until you've gotten over the divorce.
4. Go out and do fun things. After a relationship is stranded, it's okay to want to lock yourself up in your house for a while. But make sure you go out again after you have sorted out your feelings. Make plans, go out with your friends and have fun! It may seem a bit uncomfortable at first, but it will become more and more natural, and it will make you feel a lot better. It's also okay to go out because you need to maintain or expand your social network after the divorce. You can then move on with your life more easily.
   • Don't feel like you have to do something with other people all the time. Do fun things and enjoy your freedom. Go to your favorite cafe alone, go shopping or go on a mini vacation.
5. Beware of a "comfort relationship". It often happens that people start a new relationship very quickly, after the previous one has stranded. That is not always a good idea. If you start a relationship too soon, you mask your negative feelings with the tension of a new relationship. If that relationship doesn't work out either, you have to deal with the pain of two breakups. Try to stay single until you've worked through your emotions and get over the divorce.
6. Keep taking care of yourself. Sometimes care slips a bit after a divorce, but you can still feel a lot better if you take good care of yourself. Make sure you take care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. If you didn't take good care of yourself during the relationship, do it now. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, exercise and relax so that you feel good.
   • Eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid junk food, too much sugar and fat.
   • Try to sleep for 7-8 hours. Keep in mind that some people need a little less than 7 or a little more than 8 hours.
   • Exercise for 30 minutes at a time five times a week. Go hiking, biking or swimming.
   • Relax for at least 15 minutes a day. Try meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga to relax.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with emotional pain

1. Know that it is normal to feel pain. After a divorce, it is very normal to feel sad, angry and scared. You may worry that you will be left alone and that you will never be happy again. Remember that this is completely normal and you need to feel these emotions in order to move on. EXPERT TIP

   "People who don't grieve and repress their emotions experience more stress, and they take the longest to come to terms with their loss."

   
   

   Take a break from your normal routine. You may need to take a short break after a relationship has ended. That can help you process your feelings so that you can function better in the long run. Make sure you don't do anything that could harm your other relationships and that it doesn't put you in debt or in trouble.

   • You may be able to skip the gym for a week without a hitch, but you can't just go to work for a week. Use common sense and explain the situation to your friends if you cancel plans while trying to recover.
2. Allow yourself to feel sad about the loss of the relationship. When a relationship ends, you may feel empty, and you may need a longer period of time to grieve. Make sure you allow yourself to grieve and feel the pain it causes. Otherwise, it will take much longer for you to feel better and move on. Make yourself cry, scream, scream, or whatever it takes to get your negative emotions out.
   • Set aside some time every day to be sad. If you have a set time to deal with those emotions, you have an outlet, without getting stuck in them all the time.
   EXPERT TIP

   Surround yourself with people who support you. You need to have people around you who love you and help you feel better again. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family members who make you feel worthy will help you get back on track.

   • Don't be afraid to ask your friends and family for help if you want to talk to someone or if you need a shoulder to cry on.
3. Find healthy ways to ease your emotional pain. Perhaps your first instinct is to want to numb the pain with alcohol, drugs, or food, but that doesn't offer a long-term solution. Stay away from these unhealthy methods of dealing with your emotional pain. Rather, look for ways to help you grow and recover.
   • Take up a new hobby to keep yourself busy while you recover from your divorce. Take a course, go to a club or teach yourself something new. Engaging in a hobby makes you feel better about yourself, distract you from the pain, and build confidence by learning a new skill.
4. Consider talking to a therapist if the pain gets too bad. Many people can get over a divorce themselves, but that is not possible for everyone. If you find it difficult to deal with your emotional pain on your own, or if you think you have become depressed because of the divorce, seek the help of a therapist as soon as possible.

Method 3 of 3: Deal with your feelings

1. Think about the relationship. Consider all the reasons why you and your ex broke up. Try to remember that, even though it was often quite fun, something was not working properly. Knowing the reasons for the breakdown can help you understand why you should move on now. You can also avoid making the same mistakes in the future if you know what went wrong now. Ask yourself the following questions:
   • Am I guilty of the breakdown of the relationship? If so, what have I done?
   • Do I keep choosing the same types to start a relationship with? If so, what types are they? Is that good for me? Why or why not?
   • Have I had similar problems in other relationships before? If so, what causes these problems? What can I do differently in future relationships?
   EXPERT TIP

   Write about your feelings. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and not change things. One of the best things about writing everything down is that sometimes you are surprised by a certain insight you get. Patterns become clearer, and as the grief eases, you may be able to better understand the valuable life lessons from the entire experience.

   • Try to write about your feelings every day until you feel better. For example, you can start each day with "It's been __ days since we broke up, and I feel ____". Then you can go into more detail about how you feel. If you use this fixed formula, you can monitor the progress of your emotions better, and process them better.
   • Write a letter to your ex, but send him not on. Sometimes it can just help to put all your feelings on paper. But sending the letter is no good idea. The letter is for yourself only, so throw everything out. There's no point in stirring up the pain of the divorce over and over again, so just pretend you're telling exactly how you feel again, for the very last time.
   • Try to write a story. Think back to the beginning of the relationship and describe it from start to finish. That can be very painful, but it gives you a broader perspective. When you get to the last chapter, close it positively and write "End".
2. Deal with your anger. When we feel that someone has wronged us, we feel angry. When you are out of contact with your ex, the best way to deal with the anger is to relax.
   • Take a deep breath and focus on all your muscles to relax them. Soft music can help with this.
3. Stay behind your decision. If the divorce was your decision, realize that if you only think about the good things you have been through, you may forget the reasons for the divorce. At the same time, you should also try not to reconsider if the divorce was not your decision. It's very common for people to romanticize the good sides of the relationship, convincing themselves that the bad things weren't so bad after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and look ahead.
4. Remind yourself of your ex's bad qualities. Focusing on all the things you didn't like about your ex can help you get over the divorce. Make a list of all the things your ex did that you didn't like. That he might be very tough at the table, or often make plans without you, or forget your birthday. Write down everything that bothered you.
5. Think about why you're better off without your ex. In addition to reminding yourself of what annoyed you, you can also take advantage of anything positive about the divorce. Make another list of all the things you're better off without your ex.
   • Maybe your ex thought it was stupid that you wanted to eat healthy, so now you can eat healthy and take good care of yourself. Or maybe he didn't want you to take up a particular hobby, so now you have the freedom to do it. List everything that makes you better off without your ex.

Tips

• Remember that your ex may also be trying to get over you. Be careful and keep your distance. If you've ended the relationship, stick with it.
• Remember it's okay to cry and express your feelings. You feel better when you learn to deal with your emotions than when you bottle everything up.
• Have a symbolic ceremony. People sometimes have funerals for dead people whose bodies have never been found, so you can also have a formal way to say goodbye to a relationship that never ended properly. Collect anything that reminds you of this person and burn it or give it to charity. Write a eulogy on the relationship and read it aloud.

Warnings

• If you find yourself compulsively viewing your ex's Facebook page (or other profile), help yourself by using a program or browser feature that blocks the URL to his / her profile. It also helps to get him / her off your friends list. Even when everything has ended properly, it can be painful to see what the other person is doing.
• Watch out for stalking or threatening behavior, and if you notice anything, report it to the police right away. This person is probably just difficult and not dangerous, but don't take the risk. If necessary, you can apply for a restraining order and you can call the police every time it is violated.