Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Promote yourself tactfully
• Method 2 of 2: Feeling confident
• Tips
• Warnings

The line between self-promotion and arrogance is sometimes blurred. In many cases, such as during a job interview, asking for a raise, dating, or making new friends, you may want to put yourself in a more affordable position without coming off as an obnoxious person. People tend to be more attracted to, interested in and think positively about other people who say positive things about themselves, but it can feel a bit uncomfortable to list positive things about yourself without feeling that you're bragging.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Promote yourself tactfully

1. Know when to commend yourself. The most obvious situations where people may start bragging are those on a new acquaintance, especially during job interviews or first dates. In either case, you try to demonstrate your positive qualities to another person who has little more to base his / her opinion on than what you say.
   • If you're dating someone for the first time, you want them to be impressed with you and get to know you better, but you don't want them to think you're cocky or arrogant. One approach is to wait for your date to ask you to say something about yourself instead of coming up with it yourself.
   • For example, if your date has asked you if you have any hobbies, you could say, "I really like running. I started jogging around the neighborhood and gradually increased the distance. Last month I ran my first marathon. "Do you ever go for a run? I would love to run with someone." This sounds more personal and less boastful than saying at dinner, "I'm a great runner. I just ran a marathon and finished second in my age group. I'm going to run the marathon 3 times this year."
2. Discuss your performance in a way that keeps you focused on the team. A lot of bragging rights has a competitive and self-centered side to it, but sharing responsibility for performance can minimize the danger of appearing arrogant.
   • Research has shown that people feel much more positive about others who use inclusive language (such as “we” and “team,”).
   • For example, if you work at an architectural firm and your team has just been awarded a new contract to design a new library, make sure to talk about "we" instead of "I" when talking about the achievement. "After months of hard work, we have just signed a contract to design and build a new public library. This is a great opportunity for the team." sounds better than "I just scored an amazing contract to design a new library. This is very important for the rest of my career."
3. Be careful with words like “I” and “me.You will need to speak clearly in the first person if you need to promote yourself, but then focus on emphasizing achievements.
   • Also avoid superlatives like, "I was the best employee my previous employer ever had," or "I always worked harder than the rest of my colleagues." Extreme statements like these are unlikely, even to the most accomplished individuals, and sound like exaggeration.
   • Superlative claims where the speaker claims to be the "best" or the "greatest" (even if that's true) are more likely to be considered boasting than actual achievement.
   • For example, "My idea was to create a space where employers could speak freely about what they are up to" sounds more like boasting than, "I've created an environment where employees can express themselves freely."
   • Instead, try statements like, "While employed by my previous employer, I tried my best to be dedicated and hard-working."
4. Make boasting a positive expression. By using team-oriented language and naming your achievements so that you turn them in a more modest direction, you can sound positive and talk yourself up without having to show off.
   • An example of a comment that you might consider boasting or a simple, positive comment goes like this:
     • The positive version: “We went out for dinner with the entire softball team yesterday. We had a good season and everyone was in a good mood. I was even voted the most valuable player. Boy, was I just amazed. I worked hard this summer, but only did it for fun and exercise. So I was really happy with this title and the recognition. I am happy that I was able to help the team to end this season so well. ”
     • The boastful version: “We went out for dinner with the entire softball team yesterday. I had the best season so far so I felt great. They proclaimed me the most valuable player. But that was no surprise, because I had been the best player all summer. In fact, I am the best all-round player this competition has ever seen. I could play in any team next year if I wanted to, so maybe I'll switch to a better team. ”
5. Observe your own reaction to someone bragging. A good trick if you are still a little hesitant about bragging is to observe your own reaction to the behavior of others: when you hear someone bragging, think about why that person is bragging and how they do it on another. way so that it no longer sounds like boasting.
   • Whenever you are concerned about boasting, ask yourself, “Is it true? How do I know if it is true? ”

Method 2 of 2: Feeling confident

1. Build true confidence by realizing your positive qualities. You can begin this process by making a detailed list of everything you have accomplished, how you have done it, and why you are proud of it.
   • For example, you can be proud that you passed your exam because you were the first in the family to pass it, while you also had two more jobs.
   • This will help you to see that you have truly achieved something and give you a deeper insight into your own achievements.
   • Many people are more likely to be nicer to and appreciate others than themselves. To help you be more objective and overcome any reluctance you may have to praise yourself, think about your skills and achievements from a different perspective. You can do this by writing positive things about yourself in the third person, as if you were writing a letter of recommendation for a friend or colleague.
2. Avoid the sound of your own voice. Arrogant, self-centered people (and those who are insecure) tend to go on and on about themselves and their accomplishments, even if the people they are talking to have already stopped listening.
   • Learn to pay attention to body language such as glassy eyes, look at the watch, or pick fluff on clothes. These clues can tell you that you are starting to get tired and need to stop bragging. Stop talking about yourself and ask the other person to tell you something about themselves.
   • Focus on listening to the other and responding with a summary to make it clear that you have understood what the other has said. For example: "So what you are actually saying is ..." By doing this you are complimenting the other person as well as an excellent representation of your personality. Being able to listen will always impress people, especially if you make it clear that you have understood them.
   • Be brief. If you manage to express your idea in 1 or 2 lines, it will probably stick better in the minds of your audience. If you keep going on about yourself for 15 minutes, the next time they meet you, people will quickly run the other way because they find you arrogant and annoying.
3. Set yourself improvement goals. At the same time as recognizing what you have achieved, do not ignore the areas you want to improve. Ignoring those areas you can potentially get better at can make you seem like a show-off.
   • Identifying areas for improvement can actually make you more credible and sound like you have more knowledge in a particular area.
4. Emphasize your skills if you are a woman. While men's achievements are often attributed to skill, the very same achievements of women are often attributed to luck. Women who brag are often more harshly judged than men who do the same. This means that if you are a woman trying to showcase her accomplishments, make sure you immediately relate them to your skills.
   • You can do this by elaborating on what you did to earn this success: for example, if you won a scholarship, spend more time on the work you did to get the scholarship than the scholarship itself.
5. Ask for help if you need it. If you have low self-esteem, depression, or fear of man, seek the help of a mental health professional. These problems can make it difficult if not impossible to speak positively about yourself to someone else.
   • For example, people who suffer from an extreme form of lack of self-esteem may consider it impossible to discover anything positive about themselves and may therefore be filled with sadness, insecurity, or fear.
   • A psychologist can give you the tools to build your self-esteem and deal with social anxiety or depression and help you research ways to change your thinking and behavior to improve your life.
6. Give sincere compliments to others. Often compliment people for the things they do that you truly admire. Never give an outright compliment.
   • When someone compliments you, don't start a conversation about how great you are. Be humble, accept the compliment and say "then you." If you need to say more, say something like, "I appreciate you having noticed. This is something I've worked really hard on in my life."
   • There's no need to return a compliment if you don't have anything sincere to say. A simple "thank you, very nice for you to say something about it" is enough.

Tips

• Before bragging about something, imagine that you are the one who has to listen to it and ask yourself if this annoys you.
• Do not collect material things just to brag about them. If you have a fantastic new sports car and an expensive watch, but you're empty inside, you won't feel any better about yourself, no matter how much you brag.

Warnings

• Different cultures have different attitudes to bragging. For example, Americans are raised in an atmosphere where individualism is of paramount importance, and they talk about what they have achieved. On the other hand, people in other countries have been brought up with the idea of ​​being very modest towards others and that it is rude to speak freely about one's own performance. Be respectful of these differences before you start bragging about yourself.