Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 5: The preparation
• Part 2 of 5: Acceptance as a strategy for dealing with change
• Part 3 of 5: Giving yourself time to heal
• Part 4 of 5: Restoring balance in your life
• Part 5 of 5: Picking up the thread again
• Tips
• Warnings

Changes are an inseparable and continuous part of our lives. Whether it's a divorce, moving to another city for whatever reason, one of your best friends moving elsewhere, the death of a family member, losing a job or a demotion, or anything ever has meant a lot to you but didn't turn out the way you hoped - change isn't easy, but on the other hand, it also gives you the opportunity to grow and tests you.

To step

Part 1 of 5: The preparation

1. Be prepared. Life is full of unexpected surprises; don't let this be a lesson you refuse to learn. Death, loss, and strange situations will be a part of your life no matter how you try to hide or protect yourself from it. The main key to coping with change is to accept reality and its inevitable.
2. Note the directions. We often refuse to see what is happening right in front of us. The waning health of a loved one, the remodeling of the workplace, the emphatic comments that things need to change. To avoid last minute surprises or shock, you will need to stay alert, listen, and record the clues that a change is imminent. Recognizing impending changes gives you advance warning so that you can prepare yourself against them. It doesn't help if you pretend things are all okay –– maybe they are, but just as much it isn't. Providing opportunities to deal with change before the actual change can not only help you deal with it, but also help it to thrive.
   • All general talk of workplace redundancy should be your focus. Start by polishing your resume, look for new jobs and start applying. Even if you love where you are now, it is wise to look for new options. You can always decline an offer for another job, but it can make your current position even more solid if your employer finds out that someone else finds you valuable enough to steal.
   • Learn about a disease when a loved one is affected. Know and understand the different stages of the disease, including what to do if the situation deteriorates rapidly. If it's a terminal illness, learn what you can do to make someone's remaining time the best, and how to make their last days as comfortable and painless as possible. There will be decisions you will have to make that you can learn more about while you can still think clearly.
   • If you need to move to a different city, state, or country, learn as much as you can about the new place before moving there. Use the Internet to read more about the new place and learn about similar services you will likely need when you get there. Leaving a beloved home and place is never easy, but you don't have to make that change more difficult for yourself than it needs to be.
3. Ask yourself a very useful question. Namely, "what's the worst that could happen?" This question will force you to look at a worst case scenario and work backwards from there. It forces you to look at what could go wrong and find strategies to prevent it.
   • For example, suppose you are transferred to a different department at work. You think this means that you will fail in the new department, because it is not an area you know much about. What's the worst that could happen? You could lose your job. Work backwards from that point: to improve your odds, what can you do? Ask for retraining, ask for books you can study to start from scratch, go back to evening classes to learn the accounting classes you skipped in school, etc. You can even discuss your concerns with a trusted supervisor. Whatever solutions you come up with, you have faced the worst possibility and now you have ideas to stop them from becoming reality.
   • Another example could be the amalgamation of two families, because your mother has remarried. You may start to think she has no more time for you or that she will disinherit you. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that could happen?" Maybe she and her new husband will be traveling the world for most of the year, or the new family will be inheriting things that were meant for you. Now work backwards from there and ask yourself what you can do. You can discuss your concerns with her at the beginning and ask if you can arrange to spend time together regularly or if she would like to clarify her will to you.

Part 2 of 5: Acceptance as a strategy for dealing with change

1. Recognize that there is only one thing in life that you can control and that is yourself. Change can turn your world upside down, but it's how you react that makes the difference between coping or falling. Blaming others is a fairly standard answer, but whether or not this is an honest assessment, guilt is not going to solve anything and you risk becoming bitter and feeling helpless.
   • Accept that you cannot change others. Nor is it necessary to view their actions as a reflection of who you are or what you are worth. That is a slippery slope of surrendering to fate and robbing yourself of your strength.
   • Instead, try to make yourself stronger. Empowerment is essential for dealing with change in a dignified way. The reality of the change will not go away, but understanding that you can - and will - get through a way that relies on your own resourcefulness as well as the help of those who care about you. are to bend with change, without breaking.
2. Be wary of advice from others. Some people have a switch that turns on when they see someone else's life falling apart. Whether it's the rescuer mode or meddler mode doesn't really matter; if the advice is unjustified and undesirable, you don't want that too. So who cares if Mrs. White hasn't mourned her husband for more than a week and who cares that Mr. Black found a new job just two weeks after firing. What these folks fail to tell you is that they have stuffed themselves with Vicodin, gulped down half a dozen pastries a day, or are leaning on their already stressed-out brother-in-law to get them something new. People can be absolutely wonderful when the going gets tough, but they can also be really manipulative and thoughtless, and you will have to consider people's own motivations for offering advice.
   • If the advice feels wrong, intrusive, or manipulative, listen to your inner voice. Thank them for their help and ideas, but don't make any commitments. Just let them know that "you are working on it" or "thank you, but I already have help". There is no reason to go into detail.
   • Be aware that a lot of people just don't really want to know. Hearing about the changes and / or the loss of others scares some people and makes them put up a wall, hoping you won't infect them. Leave them alone - life often has a funny way of conveying what they fear most. Look for people who are supportive, caring and willing to listen. Even if you have to pay for a counselor, make sure you can talk to someone who isn't judging you so you can throw it all out every once in a while.

Part 3 of 5: Giving yourself time to heal

1. Accept that the change has bulldozed you. Recognizing that you feel like you can't take it is the first step in picking yourself up and getting up again. There is a lot of emotional pain involved in many types of change, from job losses to the death of a loved one. Any emotional turmoil is very personal and cannot be measured by any other person, whoever that may be. Give yourself time to grieve for the change, in addition to finding ways to recover. If you don't recognize the pain that comes with the change, one is that you're going to hide it and pretend you can deal with it. In turn, there is the risk that this emotional time bomb will explode later, when you are least able to deal with it.
   • For example, you may have been fired and suddenly there is no regular income coming in, no daily routine to get up for, and no activities outside of your four walls. This kind of change is not just about the loss of income - the loss of a place in society that values ​​what you do, it is potentially the loss of the ability to provide a roof over your head and the loss of you. dignity. By frankly acknowledging your fears and pain, you can begin to sift through your feelings accurately as you tackle the practical reality you are now facing. Be patient with your feelings, but stay focused on keeping up with the practicalities, such as informing the bank that you need more time, setting a strict budget, growing your own food, and so on. This approach is about taking care of yourself and avoiding being faced with practical problems, because the emotional ones are so overwhelming that you would like to shut yourself off completely.
2. Expect it to take a while to get used to new life patterns. Change is a shock because it will destabilize your life as you live it now. If you've had goals that have been achieved, change can feel like a punch in the face to your goals. All habits and routines are up for discussion when change intervenes, so taking it easy and slowly getting used to the new situation is an essential coping strategy.
   • Give yourself time to recover. For example, if you are grieving the death of a loved one or your pet, recognize that how you grieve and for how long are decisions only you can make. No one can tell you to hurry, no matter how they insist. Time is highly subjective and only you can tell whether or not the grieving process is over. Indeed, there is a lot of evidence that those who do not grieve eventually collapse at unexpected moments and lack the ability to cope.
   • Recovery is not about surrendering to a sense of hopelessness. As suggested before, it is important to nurture your feelings, but to be concerned with the practical decisions of everyday life, as well as a way to regain routine in your life and ensure that indecision does not harm your daily life and complacency.
3. Cherish your memories but also invest in your future. When it comes to grief after death, there will always be a part of your heart missing, but if you accept this and you are willing to carry the memories with you as vividly as can be for the rest of your life, then you can you achieve a degree of acceptance of what happened. When it comes to losing a job or some other personal loss that is not related to death, you still need time to grieve and thus ease your grief over losing something that was once a great deal. of your life. Perhaps some sort of small farewell ceremony can help you feel like closing, and give you the opportunity to move on; it might help to read How to Get Closure.

Part 4 of 5: Restoring balance in your life

1. Take a goal-oriented approach to recovery from change. Reframing, rediscovering, or ultimately finding your purpose in life can be a very powerful way to contextualize change in your life. Initially, you may feel resistance to the idea that your sense of purpose in life is either missing or skewed, but change can actually reinvigorate the search for what is really important to you. See this as an opportunity to renew or redirect the purpose in your life.
   • Have you been true to yourself in life? Sometimes you may find that you have strayed from what is important to you and that you have pursued other people's dreams or expectations for years.
   • Has this change shown you that cracks may have appeared in the dreams and goals you had? You may have achieved everything you wanted, only to find that this has been a pretty empty victory. Can the change teach you how to return to a path that is in the same direction as that which gives you a sense of accomplishment?
   • Do you still believe in yourself? Losing a loved one, a job, or a home can shake this aspect of yourself. Knowing that what others say or do doesn't define you, it's time to restore faith in yourself by remembering what's important in your life and making decisions about practical ways to restore it.
   • Are you responding to change or are you shaping the change? A goal-oriented approach to change and living in general is to immediately catch and throw back difficult things that come your way, just dealing with other things that come your way. Change won't go away, but this time roar back at change and set a precedent for how you'll be inventively dealing with future change in your life.
   • Nobody asks you to tear down who you are. If there is one thing about change, it is that it is the very time when your true nature emerges. But is that character as polished and healthy as you would like? Examine yourself, be honest, and focus on improving everything you think you can do better.
2. See change as an opportunity. Change is an opportunity to re-examine the life you have lived up to now. To find out if you have made the right choices, are paying too much (time, money, effort) for having a lifestyle that does not make you happy, or whether you are aimless instead of making choices so that you are the leader of your life. As devastating as it may be, each of the following types of change can have a silver lining:
   • Grief can lead to a greater understanding of the cycle of life, from birth to death. It can give you a new sense of purposeful vitality and a diminished fear of your own death. It can shock you out of passively settling for second place. And it can prompt you to spend more time with family and friends.
   • The loss of a job can lead to meeting people you never suspected existed and finding new things to do with your skills and creativity. It can also help to understand how little you enjoyed your last job but clung to for the sake of survival. The time you have left after being fired can sometimes come as a total surprise when you find that you can save money by doing many things yourself from scratch, precisely because you now have the time to do so. It could also be a time to change your profession, perhaps by gaining some skills, so that you can start doing work that you really enjoy doing.
   • Moving to a new place can lead to meeting new people and pave the way for great new opportunities. It can broaden your understanding of people and your place in the world and bring many new activities into your life that you have never thought of before.

Part 5 of 5: Picking up the thread again

1. Leave complaining and blaming behind. When a change causes you to constantly complain and accuse, then this is understandable for a short time. Friends and family will be behind you at the start of any accident that happens to you. However, as time goes on, the constant complaining will turn into the misfortune of your family and friends and will not help you solve your problems at all. You are more likely to alienate the people who really want to help you get through a difficult period in your life, if you turn into a grouch for someone who constantly feels like a victim and scolds the whole world for being or her problems.
   • A light tirade is fine at the beginning; being a curmudgeon for the rest of your life is someone who isolates himself more and more. Don't let this happen to you.
   • Try to be an optimist who has faced the worst possible scenario, but know that life just goes on no matter what. Do what you can to make things better and remember that action is the best antidote to collapse.
2. Let go of what happened and move on. You cannot dwell on the past or the present. It can be reassuring, and returning to a habit is always the path of least resistance. Still, change also requires changing yourself, and you will have to learn to resist the temptation to return to the past and try to recreate something from the past. Be focused on the future and proudly upright. Use what you have learned, but don't let it lead you.

Tips

• If you find yourself constantly blaming others, teach yourself to stop.Write down keywords that you think are warning signs of yelling at someone or something (such as the names of people who are really bothering you), issues that really bother you, and emotional feeling words that you often use when it comes to verbal abuse. come. Use these keywords as a warning to stop, take a breather, and rephrase your thinking. It takes a little practice, but it is much better for your long-term health than carrying the burden of guilt and hate.
• A sudden drastic change in life is also sometimes a good time to change habits that you have wanted to change for a long time. Since everything is different, it is a good time to make changes in your habits. Try a new habit for three weeks, and if it lasts, you're ready to make this change and it's an accomplishment in itself.
• Grieve loss and take care of your feelings. Even if the big change in your life is a happy one, like getting married or moving to a place you've always wanted to live, accept that there are some emotional losses as well and treat them personally. Don't drag down those closest to you when it comes to the downside of a happy change in your life. Talk to people who have experienced this before and ask how they have adapted.
• Do it gradually when trying to make things better for yourself. It's better to do little things now and then than nothing at all. For example, you may want to make a little money to ease financial woes while looking for a new job. You may have some clothes to sell on eBay, but the whole process from photos, descriptions, shipping, and feedback is a bit too much for you. Then try with a single item first. Then two. Then three. Then stick to a maximum of 10 items at any one time. Don't feel compelled to become some sort of "mega-seller." A dollar here and there quickly adds up and rids your wardrobe of clutter. Suddenly, you may find that your bank account has $ 100 credited to you just because you've gone to the trouble of trying it on a modest scale. You will get there if you just persist.
• Seek online support from people who have experienced the same kind of change as you. Look for forums about that change, whether it's divorce, death, relocation, or firing.

Warnings

• Be careful not to exhaust those around you. This is a good reason why a neutral, professional outsider is often the best choice when you need long-term support. If you have pent-up emotional problems, a counselor is the right person to free yourself from them. Remember, those close to you have been facing that change all the time, and may not be able to deal with your deep-rooted issues as well.
• Don't overdo your effort to find good things in change. Sometimes change involves so much negativity that being confronted with it is a huge blow. The uplifting shouts of joy and useless affirmations will not help you then. In such cases, it is better to seek out others that you can lean on. People who can help you are family, friends and professional counselors.
• Change is difficult for everyone. Sometimes everything changes while you are already burdened by previous changes. In this case, don't hesitate to seek help, as being on both feet is more important than pride or stubborn persistence.