Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Develop strategies to deal with the problem
• Method 2 of 3: Asking for help from others
• Method 3 of 3: Create a bond with your new environment
• Tips
• Warnings

Whether you've just moved into your own room, moved to a new city for some other reason, or are away for a weekend or a week, you may experience that feeling known as "homesickness." The symptoms of homesickness vary from person to person, but in general homesickness can make you feel sad, lonely and isolated or even deeply unhappy. In addition, if you are homesick, you usually long for home, even for simple things like an old pillow or the smell of your old house. People can experience homesickness in many different situations, so don't be ashamed of it if you long for home. There are things you can do to help you cope with your homesickness and to love your new environment.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Develop strategies to deal with the problem

1. Try to understand what causes homesickness. Homesickness is caused by the human need for commitment, love and security. Despite the name, feelings of homesickness (“homesickness” in English) don't have to be literally related to your own “home”. Anything that is known, stable, comfortable and positive can be a source of homesickness when you are far away. In fact, research has shown that homesickness is a type of grieving process after a loss similar to grieving after a divorce or death.
   • You may even feel homesick beforehand, if you have feelings of fear or loss or an obsession with home before you are leaving because you are already preparing for the coming goodbye.
2. Recognize the symptoms of homesickness. Homesickness entails much more than just longing for "home." It can cause a lot of different feelings and side effects that affect your daily functioning. By learning to recognize these symptoms, you will be able to better understand why you feel the way you feel and take action sooner to solve the problem.
   • Nostalgia. Nostalgia involves often thinking about home or familiar things and people, usually seeing things through rose-colored glasses, idealizing the situation at home. Thoughts of home may worry you, or you may find yourself comparing your new situation to the old one all the time, creating a negative image of the new situation for yourself.
   • Depression. People who suffer from homesickness often also have feelings of depression because they cannot fall back on their social safety net from home. You may also feel that you have less control over your life, which can make depression worse. Common signs of homesick depression include feelings of sadness, feeling disoriented or feeling “out of place”, no longer participating in social activities, difficulty with your studies or work, feeling helpless or abandoned , have low self-esteem and changes in your sleep rhythms. Not doing or not enjoying the things you were used to doing is often also a sign of depression.
   • Fear. Anxiety or anxiety are also typical features of homesickness. Anxiety caused by homesickness can lead to obsessive thoughts, especially about home or the people you miss. It may also be that you have difficulty concentrating or that you are extremely tense without being able to indicate a clear reason for it. Furthermore, you may get irritated quickly or have the tendency to “snarl” people in your new environment. In extreme cases, fear can also trigger other responses, such as agoraphobia (a fear of open spaces) or claustrophobia (a fear of closed spaces).
   • Deviant behavior. Homesickness can cause you to get out of your normal rhythm and react to things differently than usual. For example, if you don't normally get angry quickly, but you suddenly get upset quickly or start screaming more than you used to, it could indicate that you are homesick. In addition, you may suddenly eat much more or much less than before. Other symptoms include recurring headache attacks or experiencing other forms of pain or illness more frequently.
3. Homesickness is common in young people. Although a person can become homesick at any age, younger people are usually more likely to experience this problem. There are several reasons for this:
   • Children and teenagers are usually not very independent from an emotional point of view. A seven-year-old child is usually as prepared to survive outside the home as a seventeen-year-old.
   • Young people generally do not have much experience with new situations yet. If you have never moved before, or if you have never been to camp before, or have never been completely on your own before, it is more difficult than the second or third time. When you are young, it is more likely to be a new experience than when you are an adult.
4. Keep things you are comfortable with handy. By having familiar things from “home” with you, you can help ease the feelings of homesickness by providing you with an “anchor” to hold on to. Things of high sentimental or cultural value, such as family photos or something related to your cultural identity, can make you feel more connected to home, even when you are far away.
   • Try to find the right balance between the old and the new. In order to adapt to your new environment, it is important that you are open to the changes you are going through. It's certainly a good idea to have some familiar things with you from home, but be aware that you shouldn't surround yourself with just old, familiar things.
   • Keep in mind that not everything has to be a physical object. For example, in the modern digital age, you may be able to stream your local radio station.
5. Do some of the things you loved to do at home. Research shows that doing things you miss can sometimes make you feel better. Traditions and rituals can help you create a sense of connection with home, even when you are far away.
   • Eat the things you like to eat at home. It is not without reason that "comfort food" is called that. By eating familiar things from your childhood or from your culture, you can make sure that you feel happier and safer in your new environment. Try introducing your new friends to your favorite foods to strengthen the connection between known sources of comfort and new sources of emotional support.
   • Participate in your religious traditions, if you have them. Research has shown that people who have traditions related to their religion or belief are less likely to be homesick if they also participate in those traditions in a new place. Finding a place to pray or meditate in your new hometown, or perhaps even a group of friends with similar traditions, can help you adjust.
   • Look for some of the same activities you used to do. If you belonged to a hockey club or were a member of a book club at home, don't hesitate. Investigate and see if you can find something similar in your new environment. That way, you will have the opportunity to do the things you like and get to know some new people at the same time.
6. Talk to someone about your feelings. It is a common myth that talking about homesickness can cause or exacerbate the symptoms of homesickness. Research has shown that this is not the case. In fact, talking about what you are feeling and going through can actually help you cope with your homesickness better. It not acknowledging your feelings can actually make them worse.
   • Try to find someone you trust and who you can talk to. Your school mentor, academic counselor, one of your parents or a close friend, or a mental health professional can lend you a sympathetic ear, show understanding, and give you advice on how to best deal with your feelings.
   • Don't think that when you ask someone for help you are “weak” or “crazy”. Having the strength to admit that you need help is a sign of courage and a sign that you are taking good care of yourself. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
7. Keep a diary. Keeping a journal will help you get closer to your thoughts and better process everything that happens in your new environment. Whether you are studying abroad, in a boarding school, at a summer camp or just moved to a new city, chances are you will feel and experience all kinds of new and unknown things, and by keeping a diary you will be able to organize your thoughts better. Research has shown that who keeps a diary and in it thinks is often less homesick about his or her experiences and the accompanying feelings.
   • Try to stay positive. While it is normal to feel homesick and lonely, it is important to focus on the positive aspects of your new experience. Think about the fun things you are doing, or think about something that reminds you of something great from home. If you only write about how bad you feel, chances are you will get even more homesick.
   • Make sure your journal is more than just a list of negative feelings and events. And if you are writing down a negative experience, take a moment to think about and write down why that experience made you feel that way. This is officially called "narrative reflection" and has a therapeutic effect.
8. Exercise a lot. Research has shown that exercise releases so-called endorphins, which are your body's natural chemicals that make you feel good. Endorphins can help with anxiety and depression, two common side effects of homesickness. If possible, move with others. That way you get the chance to build a social life and get to know new people.
   • Exercise can also increase your resistance. Those who are homesick often suffer more from physical complaints (such as often having a headache or having a cold).
9. Talk to your friends and family at home. Talking to loved ones at home often makes you feel more connected and supported, which is important when trying to get used to a new place.
   • To effectively combat homesickness, you need to develop a sense of self-confidence and self-reliance. Don't allow yourself to be so preoccupied with your distant loved ones that you don't learn to cope on your own.
   • Very small children or people who are short away from home can actually become more homesick by talking to their friends or family.
   • You can also spend some time on social networking sites every now and then to reach out to your friends and see what they are doing. That way, you can feel more likely that they are not impossibly far away. On the other hand, you shouldn't be so busy with your old friends that you don't have time to make new friends.
10. Don't let your old home become an obsession. While staying in touch with the people you left at home can be an excellent strategy for dealing with homesickness, it can also become something of an obsession. Don't let your attempts to remember your home completely take over your life. If you find yourself staying home for the third time that day to talk to your mom instead of having coffee with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, consider if you shouldn't spend more time getting to know new people . There is a very fine line between keeping in touch with the people in your original hometown, and not getting on with your life where you now live.
    • Plan the number of times you call home. Set limits on how often and for how long you talk to your friends and family at home. You can even try to write real letters again and send them by "old-fashioned mail". These are great ways to keep in touch with the home front without making nostalgia for the past keep you from experiencing the present.

Method 2 of 3: Asking for help from others

1. List what you miss from home. It is very normal to miss your family and best friends when you are far away from them.List the people you miss and what they have added to your life. What memories do you cherish? What did you always do together? What traits did you appreciate in them? Finding new friends who are a bit like the ones you've left behind will make you feel more emotionally supported. It can also help you get used to a new place or situation more quickly.
   • Try to discover where your new environment resembles what you miss. Research in the field of homesickness has shown that if you can find aspects of what you know in your new situation, you will be less likely to feel homesick because you focus on something positive.
2. Get actively involved in your new environment. It's easy to say you need to make new friends, but indeed getting it done can be tricky in a new place. The best way to build a strong social safety net is to get yourself into situations where you will meet new people, especially if you have common interests. By participating in new activities, you will also be more easily distracted from your feelings of homesickness.
   • For example, if you go to school or study in a new city, there are all kinds of clubs and associations that you can join, sports that you can do, and university committees and boards that you can sit on. That way you can get in touch with other people, many of whom are likely to be homesick too!
   • When you have a new job or have moved to a new city, it can be difficult to make new friends. Research has shown that people often find it more difficult to make new friends when they have just left school or have just finished their further education. This comes down to regularity and persistence: if you join a group that meets regularly, such as a book club or reading group, chances are you will make friends because you see the same people regularly.
3. Share what you miss from home with others. One of the most important things you can do against homesickness is to make new friends. By providing a strong social safety net, you will be able to deal better with feelings of homesickness, even if it bothers you. Sharing your positive memories from home with others will make you feel more cheerful and easier to talk about at home.
   • Throw a party to let your friends know about the customs and traditional foods of your country. Whether you're studying abroad or in a city a few hours away from your parents' home, sharing your favorite dishes from home with others is likely to make you feel better. You can throw a party where you teach your friends to prepare the dishes you miss most from home, or you can just invite a few people so that you can enjoy the favorite snacks from your country or city together.
   • Share your favorite music with others. Whether you like André Hazes or salsa, invite some people for a game night where you can get to know each other and play your favorite music in the background. And if you liked listening to jazz at home, put that on. The music doesn't have to have anything to do with where you come from, as long as it reminds you of home.
   • Tell funny stories about being at home. While you may feel too miserable to laugh, try telling others some funny anecdotes about what you liked best about your home. Talking about good memories can strengthen your relationship with home as well as with your new friends.
   • If you live in a place where people speak a different language from yours, try teaching some people a few phrases in your language. Not only will this be very funny, it will also distract you and be educational for your friends as well.
4. Be brave. When you are homesick, you often feel shy, vulnerable and ashamed of yourself. If you don't take risks, you will miss out on experiences that could help you get used to your new environment. Try to accept invitations, even if you don't know many people there at whatever you are going to do. You don't have to be the center of attention! By simply being there and listening to others, you have already taken an important step.
   • If you're shy, set a goal you can handle: Try to meet and talk to one new person. Over time, you will likely socialize more easily. Above all, try to listen carefully to the other person. That's the easiest way to connect with someone and build a relationship.
   • Even if you don't end up making friends at that particular party or event, you will have proven to yourself that you dare to do new, unusual things and that can boost your confidence.
5. Get out of your comfort zone. Doing the same familiar things all the time may feel comfortable, but in order to grow and change, it's important that you push yourself out of your comfort zone. Research has shown that a moderate sense of fear, as you feel when learning something new, can improve your interpersonal and intellectual performance. Feeling overly comfortable can keep you from adjusting to your new environment.
   • Start with small steps. Trying to overcome your worst fear all at once could be counterproductive. Throwing yourself completely into something completely foreign to you may be a bit too overwhelming for you. Give yourself small, clear goals that challenge you a little bit at a time.
   • Try a new restaurant in your new city. Sit next to a stranger in a snack bar or cafe. Ask someone in your class to start a study group with you. Invite a colleague over for a drink after work.

Method 3 of 3: Create a bond with your new environment

1. Enjoy the unique aspects of your new environment. Finding ways to meet your needs in a new environment can be challenging, but it also helps combat homesickness. Feeling connected to the new and fun about your new environment will likely make you feel more connected to your new situation too.
   • For example, if you live or study abroad, visit all the museums, palaces, local restaurants and cultural traditions that make the country unique. Bring your travel guide and set a goal to do something cultural at least once a week.
   • Immerse yourself in the culture. Even if you've just moved to another city in your home country, you may find that the local culture is quite different from what you're used to. Learn the local expressions, try new dishes and visit local bars and cafes. Take a cooking class that focuses on using local ingredients. Join a local dance club. Improving your intercultural communication skills will make you feel more at home in a new place.
   • Ask the people on site what they like to do. You might get an excellent tip for eating the best burrito you've ever eaten, or maybe someone will show you the way to a beautiful hidden lake where hardly any tourists come.
2. Learn the language. If you have moved to another country, the fact that you do not speak the language can be a huge barrier to your sense of commitment. Learn the language as soon as possible; take lessons, talk to people on the spot and put your new knowledge into practice. Once you can communicate with the people in your new environment, you will feel more confident and in control of the situation.
3. Get out of the house. By leaving home you have already half won the battle against homesickness. Of course you will get homesick if you watch BVN-TV eight hours a day in the semi-darkness. Instead, set yourself a goal of spending a lot of time outdoors, whether you're going to be reading the same book you planned to read at home in the park, or going for a long walk with a close friend instead of doing abdominal exercises in your room.
   • Work or study outdoors. Go to a cafe, to a park, or to the library and do the same work that you would otherwise do at home. Simply being surrounded by people will likely make you feel less alone.
4. Take up a new hobby. By starting something new yourself, you may be able to discover your passion. It can provide you with a positive, productive activity that you can focus your energy on and that can take you away from the thought of feeling sad or lonely. Learning a new skill will also make it easier for you to leave your comfort zone.
   • Try to find a hobby related to your new environment. See if there are cycling or walking clubs in the area where you live. Take a creative course in your new hometown. Find a workshop for writers. If you can learn something new and get to know new people at the same time, you will develop a bond with your new hometown more quickly.
5. Give yourself time. Don't be disappointed in yourself if you don't immediately fall in love with your new environment. It may be that many people around you are very happy with their new environment, but that does not mean that there is something wrong with you; In fact, many people who look like they are having a great time are actually very homesick. Be patient and don't forget that with a little persistence you can make it work yourself.

Tips

• Keep breathing. Sometimes you are so tense that you forget to breathe. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth until you calm down.
• Homesickness has nothing to do with age and can happen to anyone. Don't be embarrassed if you're an adult and longing to go home because you just moved to another city because of your new job. It's completely normal.
• Try coloring to relax your thoughts and focus on something else. Coloring books for adults are a good way to do this.
• Focus on positive things in your new environment as much as possible. Consider, for example, the new restaurants that you can try out in your new hometown that you don't have at home.
• Talk to yourself to calm down. Try not to think too much about the distance between you and the people you know from home.
• Don't become an obsession at home. Try to think about the fun things you did that day.
• Get away from the home that makes you feel homesick for a few minutes. Then come back and try to get some rest.
• Talk to others! Especially when you are new to school it can seem like you are the only one who is homesick. But when you talk to your classmates, chances are you will find out that others feel the way you do. Sharing your feelings can make it easy for everyone to adapt.
• Try to solve the problems. If you feel sad and don't understand exactly why, try to think critically about when you feel what. Do you feel worse when you think about a friend you left behind? Did you get upset watching your past favorite movie? Find out what makes you feel homesick.
• If you have moved abroad, learn the language as soon as possible. By being able to communicate with people around you, you will feel more in control of the situation and will be able to connect with others more easily.

Warnings

• Severe feelings of depression and anxiety can have side effects that make you seriously weakened. If you can no longer function normally - for example, if you cannot get out of bed in the morning and / or you no longer feel like doing the things you used to love so much - it is best to make an appointment with a professional in the mental healthcare.
• In extreme cases, homesickness can make feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts worse. If you feel severely depressed and / or have suicidal thoughts, seek immediate help. If you are in the Netherlands you can call 112 (and if you are abroad, call the local emergency number), or the crisis number of the Online Suicide Prevention Foundation (0900 0113).