Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Nobody likes lies. But unfortunately, sometimes we find it easier to tell lies to others and to tell the truth ourselves. However, we should not do so. Learning how to be honest and not putting ourselves in situations where we need to lie can help us feel at ease in our conscience and out of guilt with anyone in relationships. Changing your perspective a little and aiming yourself toward being an honest person can help you feel like there's no need to lie and make it easier to tell the truth. Continue from Step 1 to learn more.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Be honest with others

1. 

   Answer the question why you should lie and lie to whom. We have all lied once or a few times, lied to different people, or lied to ourselves for different reasons. If you cannot figure out why you should lie and lie to someone, then it will be difficult for you to implement the “plan” of being honest.
   • Lie to polish yourself We tell others or tell ourselves stories that are exaggerated, augmented, or even bogus to make ourselves feel better about our shortcomings. When we are dissatisfied with something, we prefer to hear lies rather than the truth.
   • Lie to feel on par with some people but we think they are better than us, because we respect them so we want them to respect us. Unfortunately as a result, we will be looked down upon for lying. Be a trustworthy person so that people can empathize and understand you better.
   • Lie to avoid feeling embarrassed It can be a lie to cover up bad behavior, guilt, or any other act that we feel ashamed to say. If your mother found a pack of cigarettes in your pocket, you would probably lie about it as a friend's pack to avoid her mother's fine.
   • We lie to our superiors or powerful people to avoid feeling embarrassed and unpunished, including lying to yourself. When we do something and feel guilty, we lie to ignore our sins, so that we won't be punished, and continue to act disgraceful that we had to lie. It is really a vicious circle.

2. 

   
   
   Expect actions that might make you feel guilty later. To get rid of embarrassment and continue to lie, it's important to anticipate actions that might make you feel guilty and avoid them. When you lie, you have to hide a truth and you find the truth easily concealed by a lie. You will then feel reassured about the truth that is being hidden or even not even thinking about the actions that have embarrassed you.
   • If you smoke cigarettes and everyone knows it, you won't have to lie. Confess if you actually do. An act that you don't dare to confess is probably the best way not to do it. Your partner will feel humiliated if he finds out that you have a nefarious relationship with a co-worker, if you don't do it you won't have to lie.

3. 

   
   
   Stop comparing yourself to others. Sometimes, we lie to make ourselves look great and better than we really are. Because we always compete and compare ourselves with others, if we have any shortcomings, we will immediately skillfully lie to hide them. If you stop competing with others and are satisfied with yourself, you will find there is no need to lie to lift yourself up because you are already in a high position!
   • Don't say what others want to hear from you. Let the other person praise you, pretend you don't know they're “playing” you, and pretend you're drawn to them. Say the words from your heart and tell the truth, don't even worry a little bit that it will lose your beautiful image or not. People value honesty, even when the truth you say makes people uncomfortable.
   • Impress everyone with your honesty, not your boast. A lot of people lie because they want to impress, they tell elaborate stories to get more attention than others. If you can't contribute a few trivial stories about your European travel experience, just sit back and listen quietly and wait for other topics to talk about, instead of painting out the story you traveled. study at Majorca.

4. 

   
   
   Accept and deal with the consequences when you are honest. Sometimes it's better to admit that you are lying, cheating, or misbehaving instead of continuing to lie. By doing this you will feel liberated and extremely at peace. Even if you confess, you will have to accept the consequences, but it is the consequence of what you deserve.

5. 

   Do what you are proud of. You don't have to lie if you feel good about yourself. The people around you who care about you and understand you will respect you for who you really are. Do things that make you feel good and proud of yourself.
   • Drinking too much every night makes you feel good for a few hours and excites you but the next morning at work you will feel a headache, you feel regret and guilt about not being able to work. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Don't do things you regret.

6. 

   Avoid situations where you have to lie to others. Be cautious when someone tells you a secret you know you should share with another person (for example, a crime, a scam or an act that harms someone). Hearing this puts you in a dilemma, especially when everyone knows the truth and the insiders know you are the one who knows the whole story.
   • If someone is going to tell you something that starts like, "Can't you say this and that about this?", Be ready to say no: "If it doesn't have to do with me, don't tell me. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's secrets, except my own. ”

7. 

   Separate what you want to say and what the listener needs to know. Sometimes, we feel like a fire when we have something to say. When you scold a roommate rude, talk frankly with your spouse or argue with a teacher when you have to be very honest, but if you talk too long, you can turn the relationship up. bad and even saying something you don't understand yourself. Avoid talking too much, trying to tell the difference between what you need to say because the other person wants to hear it and what you want to say to make yourself feel better.
   • One more person needs to know if their ignorance may have consequences that hurt them physically or mentally, or they continue to take action that affects others. Your roommate needs to know that the fact that they drink too much makes you feel uncomfortable in your own room, but that doesn't mean your relationship will be "bad."
   • You might want to say when you are angry or stressed, however, to let the listener know what you want to say, you can express in a more flexible way. While you are arguing about the superficial relationship between you two, you may want to say "I won and I don't want to continue this relationship", and no matter how you put it, you want it to be. Your husband understands this important thing. Even so, say "I think we should reconsider this relationship", still expressing what your husband needs to know but in a more polite way.

8. 

   Always be skillful. Everyone likes frankness, but sometimes it prevents the speaker from getting what he wants. Consider the consequences of your words and try to put them in a different way to avoid hurting or annoying the audience. Learn to articulate your point of view.
   • Use the benevolent "I" pronoun when sharing hard facts. When sharing your views and the facts with others, try to be honest. Emphasize your feelings and opinions, respect and listen to others.
   • Try to add phrases like "In my experience ..." or "Personally I think ..." before you say or end sentences like "... but that's just opinion / experience. and it is not always the case ”.
   • Learn to listen when others are saying, even when you disagree with what they say or feel the need to give your point. When it is your turn to speak, they will behave like that, which will make you both more upright and at ease.
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Method 2 of 3: Be honest with yourself

1. 

   Evaluate yourself objectively. Look in the mirror from time to time and think about how you feel about yourself. What do you like about me? What do you want to do? You can expose you to intense psychological stress that causes you to have behaviors, opinions, and acts of lies that you wouldn't have had if you were to objectively judge yourself. Write a list of your strengths and weaknesses in a notebook, not for you to judge yourself, but for you to know what you need to improve on and what you can be proud of.
   • Know your strengths.What are you good at? What better could you do than most people you know? What do you contribute to this life? What makes you proud? How did you improve yourself every day?
   • Know your weaknesses. What makes you ashamed of yourself? What could you do better? What makes you feel less and less?

2. 

   
   
   Coping with the things you don't like about yourself. A lot of lies in our lives stem from our failure to deal with things we feel ashamed, embarrassed about or disgusted with about ourselves. Don't go on like this, try to admit them honestly.
   • You probably always hope that your first novel will be published when you turn thirty, a goal that you set five years ago and still has not made to date. You may know you need an arrangement to achieve your goals, but routine is easier for you. You may find some of your relationships bland and do not want to continue, but you have not made any significant changes yourself.
   • Never let self-justifying thoughts come to mind. It doesn't matter why you do something really hard to accept because you cannot go back to the past to change it. However, you can change your actions from now on to make yourself happier.

3. 

   
   
   Create opportunities to improve yourself. From your list of strengths and weaknesses, try to identify what you need to change to improve yourself and ways in which you can do it.
   • What do you need to do to promote your strengths? What did you do that made you really proud? How can you improve your weaknesses?
   • What difficulty do you face when trying to improve yourself? Objective obstacles such as not having money to buy a membership card at the gym or losing some money or subjective obstacles like researching ways to lose weight on your own.

4. 

   
   
   When you decide to do something, try to do it. It's easy to lie to yourself. It's easy for you to give hundreds of reasons not to have to do what you don't want to do. That is why we often lie to ourselves. Don't let it get that easy. When you decide to end a relationship, or decide to start work, get started right away. Do it. Immediately. Don't wait until you come up with a bunch of "not yet" reasons. When you make a decision, do it right away.
   • It makes it easier to achieve your goals yourself. When you do hard work, make trade-offs, if you accept and complete the challenge, you get a reward, like buying yourself a new guitar after the term ends. Have a bad relationship or reward yourself a vacation after losing weight.
   • Get things done with digital assistance: you can sign up for Skinny-Text to get reminders to work on the phone, or even consider making a Treaty under which you will be fined. a certain amount if you choose not to.
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Method 3 of 3: Avoid unnecessary lies

1. 

   Don't add color to your story. A common lie to engage the listener is to add a few details to make the story more interesting. Your story may appeal to your audience when you tell a story where a bear gets lost in a campsite, instead of a panda, but doing so sets a precedent that gives you reason and chance to speak. lie more. Tell as truthful and honest as possible.

2. 

   Flexible with harmless lies. We are there when someone asks difficult questions like: "Do I look fat in this outfit?" or "Is Santa Claus real?" Those are the times when we find ourselves needing to lie to make listeners feel better or to alleviate unacceptable unhappiness or truth, but choosing between honesty and lies is not always as simple as being honest. choose between A and B.
   • Speak in a positive direction. If you see something that isn't working, say it in a positive way. Instead of saying, "I don't see you wearing this pair of pretty pants," say, "This pair of pants doesn't flatter your beauty like that black dress - the dress suits you well. Have you ever tried wearing it with the socks you wore to my cousin's wedding? ”.
   • Keep some thoughts to yourself. You really don't want to go to the country-style restaurant and bar your best friend wants to be on her only night in town, but you don't have to honestly speak your mind. I am in that situation. What you want is a great night - you only have one night together - to have fun together. So instead of saying “I don't like that place. Let's go elsewhere ”, say“ Even though it's not where I like to go, but I want to do what you want to do. Make it a memorable place ”.
   • Redirect question. If your child asks whether Santa Claus is real, tell him you don't know and promise to answer later. Ask your child what he thinks: “What do you think about this? What did the kids at your school say? ”. You don't have to choose between a lie and a complete truth. The world is actually much more complicated than that.

3. 

   Shut up if you need to. If you find yourself in an awkward situation where if you are honest, you will disrupt everyone's mood and joy, then silence is not a lie. If you can't tell the truth then do so. It is sometimes advised to be quiet in awkward situations.
   • Choose to withdraw. When arguing, the more unnecessary opinions make the problem difficult to resolve. You don't need to put up a harmless lie to end the argument, nor do you need to keep coming up with "truth bombs". Get rid of trivial arguments instead of sparking flames.
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Advice

• Being honest is difficult because being honest means admitting your mistakes.
• Take note of what you say to others (eg in a journal or chart). It can reveal how many times you've lied or been honest and learn how to perfect yourself from it. Recorded lies will provide information for you to make future decisions, and it can highlight the opposite if you visualize honest notes.
• If someone pressures you to tell the truth about what you did, say something like, “I made a mistake when I wasn't careful to make a mistake; I promise to do better! Give me one more chance, I want to show you I'm not like that, believe me, I'm a good friend ”.
• For most people, keeping someone secret for the good of someone is not considered a lie if the person being told fully understands it when they know the truth. Even so, the line between honesty and lies is blurred: keeping a surprise birthday party a secret is one thing, hiding a child from the fact that he is adopted or his loved one. Lost is another story.
• People who are equal to you or your friends can push you away from the “straight and narrow” path you have chosen. As with any bad habit, you find the need to leave the group with those around you who are not integrity and honest. You don't have to find new and more trustworthy friends, but realize that you might be tempted to deal with liars.

Warning

• Emotional issues that the scope of this article has not covered that cause people to lie uncontrollably: if you can't control how often you lie, consider having a problem. counselors or experts, they can help you overcome these feelings in the long run. If you have a habit of lying, you need to consider yourself and take action to be an honest person.