Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Accept what happened
• Part 2 of 2: Moving on
• Tips

Only through true love and compassion can we begin to fix what is wrong with the world. It is these two blessed things that are needed to begin healing all broken hearts. ”- Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free. Taking care of a broken heart is a painful endeavor. What you will have to remember is that eventually you will start to feel like yourself again. Healing a heart takes time, but this article will give you a few tips on how to ease the pain and speed up your recovery.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Accept what happened

1. Understand that it is okay to feel sad. In fact, it's okay to feel a whole range of emotions - from sadness to confusion and anger. The key is not to let all those feelings rule your life. Don't try to desensitize yourself to the pain or renounce relationships forever - this way of processing will only hurt you more in the long run. You better, when you are sad, accept your sadness and then move on. Give yourself time to feel the pain. Your heartache won't go away in a day, or even a week, but know that one day you'll wake up and feel happy again.
   • The same goes for crying - if you want to cry, do it. However, sometimes crying cannot come true (such as in a meeting, in class, in the library…) Learn how to deal with holding back your tears here.
2. Let go of your negative thoughts. After a breakup, you may feel like you can only view the world in a negative way or that everyone is out to hurt you. Well, they are not. It is much better to focus on those people in your life who do love you and those things you love yourself. An excellent way to get rid of negative energy is to meditate. Another way to banish negative thoughts is to do something different when you find yourself drawn into the negativity. Go for a walk, call a friend, or do something to distract yourself.
3. Talk to someone. You may feel like you are all alone in the world, but you are not. It helps if you can talk to someone about what you are going through. Talk to a parent, your best friend, a therapist, or anyone you think you can trust. Putting your feelings and thoughts into words - instead of bottling them up - will make you feel better. In addition, the person you're talking to may be able to provide you with excellent advice, as most people get heartbroken at least once in their lives.
4. Think positively about yourself. Sometimes a break in a relationship can make us question self-worth. Well, know that you are worth a lot. Think about your strengths and feel proud about them. Do things that make you feel better about yourself - take the time to finish that painting you started or go for a run. Recognizing that something bad has happened to you and realizing that you are strong enough to handle it is an important part of getting over heartbreak.
5. Avoid doing things that make you feel bad. Make a list to keep track of this. Stalking your ex's Facebook page probably won't make you happier. Add it to the "bad ideas list" and don't. It's also a good idea to get rid of all those things that make you think about your ex. You don't have to throw that stuff away (that one cooking book you tried recipes from together could be handy in the future) but you should put it out of the picture. If you choose to return your ex's things, put it in a box and put it by your ex's front door. This way you save yourself a confrontation with him / her.
   • Other activities that make you feel uncomfortable are looking at pictures of you and your ex, fixating on memories, listening to "your" number, talking to your ex, finding places that were special to you and your ex, etc.
6. Don't forget to eat. You may feel like your stomach is so tightly knotted it looks like a pretzel, yet you will have to eat to keep yourself upright. Eat what you can and treat yourself to something you like every now and then (ice cream or chocolate are delicious treats.)
   • But if wine is your favorite treat, be careful not to make a fool of yourself by getting drunk in an attempt to feel better. Even though it feels wonderful to jump out of the band in the beginning, heavy drinking will eventually lead to the feeling that you have lost all control and then the tears come, lots of tears (plus a miserable hangover the next day.)
7. Surround yourself with people you love. Spend time with your family, your pet, or your best friends. Although it is natural to want to be completely alone for a few days after a broken relationship, at some point you will have to visit people who love you again. Not only will they make you feel loved, they can also distract you from the pain you feel.
8. Don't get frustrated because of yourself. During the recovery phase, you will run into days that are more difficult than others. Allow yourself to be a complete wreck on those days. By letting your emotions run free, you can eventually move forward. Don't be angry with yourself for being sad when you thought you were on the mend. Sometimes the heart works in a strange way. Some days you just feel sad, and you can.
9. Don't play games with your ex. You broke up, end of story. While your ex may have sugar coated it using a horrible cliché like, “It's not you, it's me,” you'll still have to wade through that to see what it's all about - your partner or lover has ended the relationship. Even though it has all gone smoothly without the poison that may come with it, the words still mean the same thing - it's over. So don't give in to cravings to play games with your ex by making him / her jealous or having endless "closing" conversations. Instead, focus your energy on the future and creating a better life for yourself.

Part 2 of 2: Moving on

1. Cut all contact with your ex. Staying in touch with your ex will only make you feel worse. Do not call your ex crying and do not send (passive) aggressive text messages to him / her. Call certainly not drunk. Your ex has made it clear that he / she has chosen a different path. The best way to do that yourself is to avoid contact with your ex.
   • Avoid seeing your ex as much as possible. Of course, this can be quite difficult if you take the same classes. At those times you will have to try to keep yourself upright as best you can. You don't have to force yourself to say hello or hi, but resist the temptation to start the conversation and demand explanations such as `` why did you do it? '' Or beg or get the other person back to you want to come. Instead, ignore your ex or say hello briefly without saying anything else.
2. Ask your friends not to give you a whole record of everything your ex does. Your friends may instinctively want to tell you where and when they saw your ex and what kind of awful person they are, but it's better to ask if they don't want to. It's important to be able to focus your thinking on something other than your ex, and the constant updates about who he / she has talked to or what your ex has done to whom will not help you.
   • If you and your ex have shared friends, try to hang out with those friends in smaller groups without your ex being around. Call other friends who are not part of your ex's intimate circle of friends. Organize a day for girls or guys and don't talk about your broken relationship.
3. Make sure you develop new activities. The best way to get over anything is to create a new, bright future for yourself. Have you dreamed of learning to sculpt for years? To dive? Play Ultimate Frisbee? Then now is the time! Go back to school or join a sports club. The goal is to distract yourself with new ideas and activities, and to get to know new people who have never heard of your ex, let alone met him / her.
4. Avoid mournful plaintive music like the plague. Instead of listening over and over to that mix you made for yourself at the beginning of the breakup, you better listen to music that gives you a boost and makes you feel good. Blacklist songs that make you sad or remind you of your ex (especially "your" number). Create playlists of songs that make you want to dance around or sing along.
   • The same goes for sad movies and books. This probably isn't the best time to The Notebook for the first time. Rather watch comedies and movies that have nothing to do with real or impossible love.
5. Help others. One of the best ways to think about something other than your own problems is to help other people who are facing a particular challenge. Ask your friends how they are and your family. Don't let your emotions get in the way of other people dealing with their own grief as well.
   • Volunteering is a great way to put your own situation in a different perspective. Offer to help out with a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or food bank and focus your efforts on improving the lives of other people. Who knows, after a while you might notice that your life has taken on a new meaning.
6. Train your emotions away. This means that you will literally start exercising to help reduce your stress and sadness. Physical exertion causes your body to produce serotonin (a substance that makes you feel happier) and stimulates the growth of nerve cells. On a more emotional level, exercising can help you regain control of yourself. So sign up for Zumba or those boxing classes you've been curious about all along and start developing a workout routine.
7. Wish your ex the best. You don't really need to tell your ex this, but for yourself you can say something like, "I hope he / she is happy." This is an important step towards getting over your heartache completely. You don't have to forget your ex and you certainly don't have to forget what happened between you, but getting over your anger will make you feel much better.
   • If you want to try to just move on as friends, then you will have to make sure that you are completely over the other person. If you think that you might still feel something, no matter how little, then it is probably not the time to expand your circle of friends in this way. Of course, you will never be able to look at your ex without thinking about your breakup, but try to push the positive thoughts about it in the direction of a friendship instead of pretending that you never belonged together.
8. Set yourself up for the possibility of meeting someone else, but don't use it as a way to forget about the previous relationship. Opening up doesn't mean you just have to get into a new relationship. After a difficult breakup, some people feel that the best way to deal with it is to get into a "rebound" relationship — a meaningless relationship that won't last long. The problem with this type of relationship is that the other person may not perceive the relationship as meaningless at all (meaning that you will hurt them). Rather, take the time to eventually be ready for a real relationship again.

Tips

• Think about how great you are and that there is someone else who deserves you.
• Have fun with friends and never deny yourself the chance of a new love, but give it time. Be patient with yourself and remember that there are other people who love you.
• Always keep busy. Don't give yourself the chance to ruminate about the breakup.
• Do productive things for yourself and those around you. A better self-image will make you a happier and more satisfied person.
• It can help to wallow in your grief at least once. Go ahead and eat a tub of ice cream or chocolate curled up on the couch. But don't let this take too long.