Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Have the right attitude
• Method 2 of 3: Have a good conversation
• Method 3 of 3: Respect boundaries
• Tips

Everyone knows that the first impression is very important. If you're eager to take the initiative to find new friends but don't want to come off as a creep, it's important to find the right balance between showing interest and not being overly eager or desperate. If you want to know how to meet new people without looking like a creep, follow these steps.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Have the right attitude

1. Live in the moment. If you want to meet new people without looking creepy, you have to stop worrying about how you come across and enjoy the present moment of the new conversation. Let go of your expectations, your ego and your fears, because they get in the way of a natural conversation. Learn to focus on the other so that you stop worrying and are no longer distracted from the interesting points of discussion and getting to know the other.
   • When you approach a new person, don't ask yourself "what do I look like?" or "how do I sound?". Rather ask yourself, "What would he / she like to talk about?", Or "What is important to him / her?"
   • You can keep the momentum going by always being one step ahead of the other person and thinking about what he / she will say next, instead of thinking back to what you just said and whether it went well.
2. Don't be needy. Neediness is a precursor to obsessive behavior, which is scary. Needy people are unbalanced and unstable because their happiness depends too much on others. If you show that you're going to be completely devastated when the other person doesn't want to be your friend, it's time to take a step back, be patient, and analyze your own behavior.
   • If you really click with someone you meet, don't be too quick to say "I like you!" or "You are awesome", unless the other is really something very radiates positive to you.
   • Whether you are meeting a potential new boyfriend or a romantic partner, never ask for their phone number during the conversation. Wait for the conversation to finish - that's a more natural time to ask.
   • When you meet someone who could become a good friend, you can say very casually, "We might just go to that new movie together" or "I'm really going to go to that yoga class you were talking about" - don't immediately invite the other person to something too intimate. Don't ask the other person to go on a camping trip, or to a family dinner, or to buy you new underwear. Keep it light in the beginning, otherwise you will seem too eager.
   • Don't sound scary or desperate by saying something like "I don't have that many friends - I'd love to meet you sometime!"
3. Stay confident. You may doubt yourself, but you are much less likely to come across as a creep if you are confident and make the other person feel worth talking to. Make sure you walk into a room with new people confidently, and build your confidence further when talking to someone. Just smile, talk about things you like, and show others that you love yourself, what you do, and what you are like.
   • Body language can help you stay confident. Grow up, keep eye contact, don't fidget your hands or look at the ground.
   • Do not look in the mirror or other reflective surfaces, because then people will see that you are doubting yourself.
   • When introducing yourself, speak clearly and loudly enough for everyone to understand.
4. Be positive. If you have a positive attitude - without it to appearing excited - people want to talk to you. Smile or laugh from time to time without making a scary grin, and don't laugh at things that aren't funny. Talk about the things you like, things that make you happy, and your interests (as long as they aren't too strange for a first conversation - don't start talking about taxidermy or stalking on Facebook right away during a first meeting) to keep people engaged.
   • When you talk about how much you hate a particular teacher, classmate, or celebrity, well, you might come off as a creep.
   • Don't nod every five seconds or say "yes" to everything the other person says all the time, or you'll look like a lap dog, and that's certainly scary. If you say now and then, "I totally agree!" or "I understand exactly what you mean" is that much more positive and a lot less scary.

Method 2 of 3: Have a good conversation

1. Talk about cows and calves. There is nothing wrong with talking. Through small talk you get to know people and open yourself up to a more serious conversation or a more personal connection. By talking about the weather or which courses you take, you can move on to more serious discussions about your interests or memories from a particular year.
   • If you are going to talk about the little ones, try to be interested in the other person.
   • Ask the other person some basic questions such as what classes he / she is taking, whether he / she has pets or siblings, or ask questions about summer vacation or other plans.
   • Learn how to build a conversation from a single comment. If the other person says he / she hates rain, ask what he / she likes to do when the weather is nice.
   • Listen carefully. If the other says he is from Rotterdam, ask whether he is for Feyenoord or Sparta.
2. Stick to the right amount of detail. Awkward silences can quickly get a little scary, but talking about your mom, your cat, or your beetle collection can be too. A good conversation partner will continue to find agreements to talk about in a relaxed, non-threatening way. Try to see the difference between the following two sentences: "Have you ever held a tarantula?" or "Have you ever felt the tiny hairs of a tarantula tickle the palm of your hand?" The last sentence is a lot more poetic, but much too intimate for a first conversation.
   • Learn how to initiate and maintain a conversation in a fun, positive and relaxed way.
   • Again, don't keep going on about a strange hobby or interest, unless the other has this hobby, or there a lot of questions about it. If he / she only asks a few questions, it does not automatically mean that he / she is very interested; maybe he / she is just trying to be polite, so don't dominate the conversation with your enthusiasm.
   • If you've just met someone, it's more important to listen carefully than to talk about yourself.
3. Find matches. Find something you have in common - even if it is difficult. If you are both from Zeeland, talk about favorite places in the summer, or ask where the other went to school, you might find out that you know some of the same people.
   • Don't notice that you are doing this - if you ask the other person for a list of favorite TV shows or bands, it's a little too obvious.
   • It can be very simple. Maybe you both think this cafe has a fantastic beer list.
   • If it is better to talk about positive things that you have in common, you can always find similarities in your common dislike of Justin Bieber or your history teacher.
4. Give appropriate compliments. To keep a conversation going, you can give the other person a compliment every now and then. Say something like "It sounds like you have it under control at work and at school" or "What beautiful earrings" will make the other person feel appreciated. If you say "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen" or "I have never seen such beautiful legs" you are sending the wrong signal.
   • When you just meet someone, be sparing with compliments. Complimenting someone's personal characteristics only once and complimenting a personal item once is polite, but not scary.

Method 3 of 3: Respect boundaries

1. Start slow. Think of any relationship as a video game. You start at the easiest level, and as time goes by and you get better, you get to more difficult levels and get more and more satisfaction. If you've just met someone, you're on level 1, and you can't move on to level 2 if you haven't finished level 1, and so on. People who appear scary are often inclined to want to go straight to level 15.
   • You can slowly expand the conversation to more personal topics, but start with simple and non-threatening topics such as school subjects or your favorite band.
   • Don't talk about how lonely or depressed you are, or whether you just had a mental breakdown. Then you definitely come across as a creep.
2. Avoid staring. Prolonged direct eye contact is something loved ones often have. It's something you can do if you know that the person you're talking to is clearly romantically interested in you, but even then it's risky because you can easily be seen as creepy if you're wrong. Look someone in the eye when they talk, but make sure you also look away from time to time and shift your interest to other things.
   • Also, make sure you don't tend to stare at the other person's body (breasts, hands, shoes, whatever), even if it's out of admiration or curiosity. In general, you don't want the other person to feel like they are under a microscope.
3. Avoid asking too many personal questions. What is too personal? It depends on. It is best to pay attention when other people are talking to each other. Pay attention to what people like to talk about when they first know each other. Know the topics you shouldn't talk about: romantic experiences, politics, religion, illness, and anything too dark such as murder or death to pierce a certain way).
   • Asking if someone is in a relationship may be appropriate if the conversation is about being single. But asking "Have you already met the love of your life" or "Have you ever experienced a traumatic divorce" is inappropriate.
   • Balance the number of questions you ask. If you ask too many questions when the other person isn't asking you, you can also appear scary, even if the questions aren't too personal.
4. Don't make inappropriate invitations to the other person. Don't ask someone you just met to come to your house or any other private place. You don't ask someone to go to a cellar, a cabin in the woods, an empty warehouse, or another place where horror movies usually take place, do you? Invitations like this require the other to trust you completely, and you can't expect that from someone you don't know yet (unless they're scary too).
   • If you want to invite someone, do it to a public place where there are many other people.
   • Your invitation may also seem inappropriate if it is to an intimate event. You don't immediately ask someone to go to a wedding, for example.
5. Pay attention to body language. Ultimately, everyone has a different standard for what they consider a "creep". What one finds scary, another finds fascinating. The only way to find out is to assess each situation individually, by paying close attention to the signals the other person is sending, to see if he / she is ready to move to the next level, or if he / she is still feel uncomfortable with you. Still, there are a few basic rules you can follow to avoid having scary body language.
   • For example, if someone looks away a lot, or looks for an exit, or turns away from you, it is probably a sign that he / she wants to end the conversation. It takes practice and attention, but once you understand how body language works, you will subconsciously start relying on it.
   • You can also chase someone else away if your own body language is uncomfortable or uncomfortable, such as leaning too close to someone or spitting in someone's face when you talk.
   • Don't touch someone you haven't met yet unless you are both very comfortable. Only touch someone's hair or hand when you have certainly know there is an intimate connection.
6. Learn how to deal with rejection (if necessary). If people keep rejecting you no matter how you try, you may need to try a different approach. For starters, it helps to find out why someone is treating you that way. If the "problem" turns out to be with you, you may have to do your best to change your behavior. People who are known as creeps are usually just unashamedly unique. It's easy to be mad at people who think you're creepy just because you're different from others. And because of this you can feel resistance to really change your behavior.
   • Accept that people judge each other - and sometimes they just get it wrong, but that's how it goes. Do not think that by changing the way you behave towards others, you can no longer be yourself.
   • It only increases the chance that people can get to know your true personality, so that you can radiate your uniqueness even better.
   • Accept rejection. No matter how well you approach others, some people just don't give you the response you were hoping for.
   • A conversation does not always go as you expect. Maybe you're trying to strike up a conversation with someone who is having an off day, is nervous, wants to be alone, or is just plain blunt. Be a guy (or a big girl), turn around and try on someone else.

Tips

• Don't think you have to change the way you look or dress. Be yourself! If you can change the way you behave towards others, it doesn't matter what you look like. But it does help if you aren't dressed in latex or some other fetish outfit the first time you meet someone.
• If you don't know how to answer, you can uh-huh or nod your head so that the other person sees that you are interested, making them feel more comfortable. Don't overdo it though, or you'll seem too interested.
• Don't be out of the way. Today, many media, especially animation and video games, present an image that it is "cool" to be sublime, mysterious and quiet. In real life, that comes across as scary.
• If you notice that someone is uncomfortable with you, give the other person some space. Say "I'd love to talk to you, but I can see you're busy. I don't want to keep you from your job." That gives the other person a chance to say "No, you don't like my job at all" or "Thank you, I'd rather be left alone for a while." Note: If you are a woman, it is sometimes better to be a little less friendly than too friendly the first time you meet, otherwise you may be thought to be after sex when talking to a man.