Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Learning about cognitive distortions
• Method 2 of 2: Take care of yourself
• Warnings

Overreacting means showing an emotional response that is out of proportion to the situation. There are two kinds of ways to overreact: internal and external. External reactions are actions and behaviors that other people can see, such as angrily at someone. Internal reactions are emotional reactions that others cannot see or notice, such as deciding to quit the drama club because you did not get the role you wanted. Both forms of overreaction results in damage done to relationships, reputation and self-esteem. You can avoid overreacting by learning more about what causes your emotional response and by finding new ways to deal with the overreaction.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Learning about cognitive distortions

1. Learn to be aware of cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are automatic thinking patterns with which someone distorts reality. For people who overreact easily, it is usually because of negative or very critical judgments that make that person feel negative about themselves. Unless a person learns to recognize a cognitive distortion, they will continue to respond in a way that is inconsistent with reality. Everything gets blown up, which often leads to an overreaction.
   • These usually develop in childhood. An authoritative figure (such as a parent or a teacher) who is particularly perfectionist, has overly critical, or unrealistic expectations can easily facilitate this.
   • "Do not believe everything you think!" By becoming increasingly aware of the cognitive disturbance patterns, you can choose to respond in a different way. Just because you think something doesn't mean you should automatically accept it as fact. Challenging useless or unexamined thoughts can set you free.
   • Being able to see only possible negative outcomes, and habitually ignore the positive, is a common cognitive distortion.
2. Understand common types of cognitive distortions. Everyone has experienced overreacting or at least seen others overreacting to situations. For some people, these reactions can become a habit or a way of seeing the world. These include:
   • Overgeneralize. For example, a child who has had a bad experience with a large dog may be afraid of dogs forever after that.
   • Jumping to conclusions. Example: A girl is nervous about an upcoming date. The boy texts that he has to reschedule the appointment. The girl concludes that he is not interested in her or will not be, and cancels the date. In reality, the boy was interested.
   • "Doomsday Thinking". A woman has a hard time at work and fears that she will be fired and then become homeless. Rather than focusing on her time management, she suffers from her constant anxiety.
   • Thinking "black and white" - not being flexible. While on a family holiday, the father is frustrated with the poor quality of the hotel room. Instead of concentrating on the beautiful beach and the children who hardly spend any time in the room, he constantly grumbles and ruins the fun for everyone.
   • "Will, must, and should" are words that are often loaded with judgment. If you find yourself using these words to talk about yourself in a negative, judgmental way, try phrasing it differently. For instance:
     • Negative: "I'm out of shape; I have to go to the gym." More positive: "I want to be healthier and see if there are group classes in the gym that I might enjoy."
     • Negative: "I have to make sure my child listens carefully when I say something." Positive: "How can I speak in such a way that he listens to me better?"
     • Negative: "I should get a better grade on this exam than a 7!" Positive: "I know I can get a better grade than a 7. But if not, a 7 is still a pretty good grade."
     • Sometimes things will, must or should happen ... there are those things that you can indeed formulate in such a way. However, if you find yourself using such words in a negative and rigid way, it indicates that your thinking may be unnecessarily negative and rigid.
   • Write down your involuntary thoughts in a journal or calendar. Simply jotting down what you think will help you recognize its existence, when it happens and what it is, and help you observe those thoughts. Ask yourself if there is another way to consider the source of your cognitive distortion. Is this automatic thought part of a pattern? If so, where did it start? What purpose does it serve now? By becoming more aware of your own unconscious thought patterns, you can better avoid overreacting.
3. Recognize an "all or nothing" way of thinking. This type of automatic thought pattern, also known as "black and white" thinking, is a primary cause of overreaction. Automatic thoughts are not based on rational thinking, but on anxious, overly emotional responses to stressful situations.
   • The "all or nothing" thought is a common cognitive distortion. Sometimes things are all or nothing, but normally there are ways to get some or most of what you want or find an alternative.
   • Learn to listen critically to your inner voice and notice what it has to say. If the conversations with yourself are overflowing with cognitive distortions, it can help you recognize that the "voice" that is talking to you is not necessarily correct.
   • Consider practicing affirmations after an automatic thought. Affirmations can help reframe negative "all or nothing" thinking through a positive statement that reflects your new beliefs. For example, remind yourself, "A mistake is not the same as failure. It's a learning process. Everyone makes mistakes. Others will understand."
4. Take a deep breath before reacting. Take a break for a breather so that you have time to consider possible alternatives. It can disconnect you from automatic thinking patterns. Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts; hold your breath for a count of three and then slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 5. Repeat this if necessary.
   • When your breathing is fast, your body thinks it is in a "fight or flight" fight, and your anxiety will increase. You will then be more likely to respond with stronger emotions and fear.
   • If your breathing slows down, your body will believe you are calm, and you are more likely to have access to rational thoughts.
5. Recognize patterns in your response. Most people have "triggers," which can generate emotional responses. Common triggers are envy, rejection, criticism and control. By learning more about your own triggers, you are more likely to be in control of your emotional responses to them.
   • Envy is when someone else gets something you want or think you deserve.
   • Rejection occurs when someone is excluded or rejected. Exclusion from a group activates the same receptors in the brain as physical pain.
   • Criticism causes a person to overgeneralize as cognitive distortion. The person confuses a critical response with not being liked or appreciated as a person, and not just as the act itself that is being criticized.
   • Control problems cause an overreaction when you are overly concerned about not getting what you want or losing what you have. This is also an example of doom thinking.
6. Try to put it in perspective. Ask yourself, "How important is this? Will I remember this tomorrow? Or in a year? And what about 20 years from now?" If the answer is no, then what you're responding to isn't all that important. Take a step back from the situation and realize that it might not be all that important.
   • Is there anything about the situation that you can do something about? Are there ways you can work with another person on the changes that benefit you? If there are any, try them out.
   • Try to accept those parts of the situation that you cannot change. This does not mean that you should allow another person to hurt you or that you should not set boundaries. Sometimes it means accepting that you cannot change the situation and deciding to leave.
7. Retrain your brain. When someone habitually finds it difficult to control their moodiness, there is a weak connection in the brain between the highly sensitive emotional center and the rational part of the brain. Developing a stronger connection between these two centers in the brain can help you avoid overreacting.
   • Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is a treatment that has been shown to be effective for people with emotional regulation problems. It works by enhancing self-knowledge and cognitive restructuring.
   • Neurofeedback and biofeedback are both therapies that can be effective in treating emotional regulation problems. The patient learns to monitor his own psychological reactions, and in this way gains more control over his exaggerated reactions.
8. Consult an expert. Overreacting may be the result of problems that have been around for a long time, and where a therapist can help you do something about it. Understanding the underlying causes of your overreactions can help you get a better handle on it.
   • If your overreactions are negatively affecting your relationship or marriage, consider seeing a therapist with your partner or spouse.
   • A good therapist can give you practical suggestions for current problems, but can also help you identify if there are past problems that surface through your emotional responses.
   • Be patient. If your emotional overreactions are the result of long-buried problems, treatment may take longer. Don't expect to see results within a day.
   • In some cases you may need medication. While "therapeutic talks" can be particularly helpful for many people, sometimes certain medications can help as well. For example, a person with anxiety causing a lot of overreactions, anti-anxiety medications can be helpful.

Method 2 of 2: Take care of yourself

1. Take care of yourself. Lack of sleep is a common source of stress and can result in short-term and over-emotional reactions to everyday situations. Taking good care of yourself means getting plenty of rest. If you don't get enough sleep, it will be more difficult to break the patterns associated with overreactions.
   • Avoid caffeine if it prevents you from sleeping well. Caffeine can be found in soft drinks, coffee, tea and other drinks. Make sure there is no caffeine in your drink.
   • Being tired makes you experience more stress, and can prevent you from thinking rationally.
   • If you are unable to change your sleep schedule, try to include time for rest and relaxation as part of your daily schedule.
2. Eat regularly. If you are hungry, you are more likely to overreact. Have healthy meals at regular times every day. Have a healthy breakfast with a lot of protein and avoid the hidden sugars in breakfast cereals.
   • Avoid junk foods, sweets, or other foods that can cause your blood sugar to rise quickly. Sweet snacks add to your stress.
3. Exercise regularly. Sport helps regulate emotions and puts you in a more positive mood. 30 minutes of moderate exercise, at least 5 times a week, has been shown to improve mood regulation.
   • Aerobic exercise, such as swimming, walking, running, or cycling engages the lungs and heart. Include aerobic exercise in your training schedule, regardless of which exercise you plan to do. If you can't miss 30 minutes a day, start with a shorter period. Even 10-15 minutes will improve.
   • Strength training, such as lifting weights or resistance training, makes both your bones and your muscles stronger.
   • Flexibility exercises, such as stretching and yoga, help prevent injuries. Yoga helps treat anxiety and stress, and is particularly recommended for those who want to avoid overreacting.
4. Be aware of your emotions. When someone is unaware of their feelings until they overreact, this can be difficult to change. The trick is to become aware of your emotions before they get too big. Learn to recognize the signs of overreacting in yourself.
   • These clues can be physical, such as a stiff neck or a fast heart rate.
   • Naming the feeling means that you involve both sides of your brain in developing coping strategies.
   • The more aware you become of your own inner reactions, the less likely you are to be overwhelmed by them.

Warnings

• Not all strong emotional responses are exaggerated. Don't dismiss your feelings just because they are intense.
• If your overreactions are causing legal trouble, seek help immediately.
• Sometimes exaggerated reactions can be a symptom of mental illness. If so, you will need to seek help for your mental illness while simultaneously tackling the overreaction problem.