Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Get in the mood
• Method 2 of 3: Be a Conversational Ninja
• Method 3 of 3: Mastering the skills
• Tips
• Warnings

We all have the feeling that the world doesn't care about us as much as we would like. If you've been in that mode for a while, it might be time to take action. With a quick makeover for your thinking style and a few social spearheads, you will soon be back on the right track.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Get in the mood

1. Get satisfied with yourself. You've probably heard it hundreds of times: if you want people to love you, you have to love yourself first. Easier said than done, isn't it? But you know it's true - just think of someone you know has little self-esteem. He is probably a bit negative, hypersensitive, and not very pleasant to deal with. If only they were content with themselves, the whole world would treat them differently.
   • Make a list of positives about yourself. Do something that makes you happy and gives you confidence. Don't be afraid to try something new and exciting. Don't even dream of skipping this step - it can't be missed. You don't necessarily have to be outgoing and comical, you just have to have healthy confidence.
2. Be sincere. Once you are satisfied with yourself, stick with it. False pretensions or trying to maintain a non-existent image are not only fatiguing, but also a letdown. You are good just the way you are, complete with all your mistakes. And you better be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of someone else! Why should you do something else?
   • Believe it or not, research shows that embarrassing yourself in front of others can actually make them appreciate and trust you more! And if you think about it a little longer, it makes sense: you show everyone that you are real, just like them. What a relief! You are no longer perfect. Poehee. Point 1 has been made: the more real you are, the better.
3. Get excited. Let's be nails with heads: Imagine lying in bed with someone and doing IT. Looks like they are in, but you can't really figure out how they feel. Would you be back in bed with them soon? Probably not. And that also applies to life. Everyone wants to interact with the one who lights the whole room with their enthusiasm. And why wouldn't you be?
   • Once you realize that little things in life can be very exciting, your enthusiasm is unstoppable. Ultimately, life is short. Not every cup of coffee has to be the best cup of coffee of your life (it could even be the worst), but you can still rave about it. Wow, coffee! Finally! Good guys! What a great feeling.
4. Be curious. This mainly concerns other people, but in fact you have to be curious about the whole world. When someone is introduced to you, you really need to focus on it for a moment. Don't pass it too easily. If there is something you don't understand, do your best to find out more about it. Of course that applies to concepts, but it should actually apply twice to people.
   • So the next time you meet someone 24 and tell you about the time it took to write chain letters and play cook in your favorite bistro, feel free to drop your mouth in surprise and more. ask for an explanation. Dig a little. Be interested!
5. Be clean. In case you've lived on a desert island, it seems that the human species prefers to interact with someone who doesn't stink. Science has not yet figured out why that is. So do yourself a favor and take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed with the lights on. People don't look at you if you don't.
   • You can spend quite a bit of energy on it (read: more than just showering). People rely more on looks than they should. In his book "Blink," author Malcolm Gladwell describes the Wilson effect: how President Woodrow Wilson won the election based on his authoritative looks and good timing (photography was just emerging). Otherwise, you probably know enough about John F. Kennedy to make the connection. Whether we like it or not, good looks have its advantages. That's the way it is.
6. Know how you come across and why. People communicate on three different levels: verbal, non-verbal and para-verbal. You probably know those first two. But para-verbal is about how you speak your texts. C’est le ton qui fait la musique. You know: pitch, intonation, tempo. They make a lot of difference!
   • Observe someone who is well known on all three levels. How do they relate to others? When alone, do they look approachable? How do they talk? What do they say and how? When you start to discover patterns you can start to observe yourself. Which patterns could you use well yourself?
7. Realize that it is different for men or for women. This applies everywhere, but especially at work. When it comes to being appreciated, it comes down to very different things for men and women. When a man behaves assertively or even angry, it is seen as an expression of passion; if a woman shows the same behavior, it is considered out of control. Take the advice you get with a grain of salt, and in all the observations you make, you should also consider which gender is involved.
   • It doesn't quite always hold true, but it is mostly It is safe to assume that women are most appreciated when they are a bit more gentle. Two words: Hillary Clinton. A great target for jokes. Why? Because she acts like a man in a man's world when she's not one. But she's also great and a fantastic role model, so as a woman you should aim for something between her and Mien Dobbelsteen.

Method 2 of 3: Be a Conversational Ninja

1. Sincerely appreciate others. Take an interest in their hobbies and interests. When they see that you appreciate them, they appreciate you too. People are weird - now and then they let their feelings speak!
   • If someone comes into the room and you immediately respond with enthusiasm and a smile, they will see. How nice is it to be received like this? You can make everyone feel wonderfully warm just by showing genuine interest just because you appreciate them. That does not make yourself vulnerable, you make yourself sincere.
2. Be honest. Be friendly. Only say things you mean. Do not joke with people, or entangle yourself in lies or manipulation. The essence is: treat people as you would like to be treated yourself. If you want to enter somewhere, you can do so with honesty and warmth.
   • You can start with patience and courtesy. Listen and see if you can help. Do something for people because you want to, not to get something in return. No matter how bad your mood is, be as nice as possible. Doing your best to be kind and sincere in a bad mood can actually improve your mood!
3. Let them talk. Almost everyone likes to talk about themselves. They like people who will listen to them when they talk about themselves.Unfortunately, there are also those in this world who are just waiting for an opportunity to direct the conversation their own way. Use this to your advantage by getting them working! Ask about them and give them free rein.
   • For example, suppose you walk up to Frits at work and you say, "Hi, Frits, how was your weekend?" And he just says, "Oh good; family visit, huh! ". Instead of "Oh, that's nice," you can also ask an open question. For example, "Oh, don't you see them often?" And in no time he tells you all about his great-nephew's many moves. And as long as you show interest, he will keep talking.
4. Use self-relativating humor. This is a tough one - if you do it too often, people won't know if you're just witty or if you really hate yourself. But if you smile clearly, you're fine. When Conan O'Brien joked about Michael Phelps that he was "out of shape," he added, "If that's out of shape, I've been dead for 5 years." Showing that you are cheerful and not taking yourself too seriously is a very endearing quality.
   • It's a good quality to be able to take a joke. When people get to know each other, there is a certain degree of humor that promotes solidarity and togetherness. Being able to do this for other people shows that you are witty, flexible and confident.
   • Also use other forms of humor. Everything is good. If you can use the kind of humor that binds the group together, all the better. If you can get people to the same level, they will feel more comfortable with you. So: make them laugh!
5. Flirt! Everyone likes it when they flirt with them. It just feels right. It's playful and makes us feel like someone is paying attention to us because we're attractive. It couldn't be clearer. What we don't like is flirting with someone who doesn't show that they are sensitive to it. So take the initiative and start flirting. This way you show that you are personal, open and playful. Cool! .
   • By touching someone you form a quick bond. Imagine someone saying hi to you, waving a little, and walking on again. Now imagine someone saying hi to you, stroking you lovingly over your shoulder, and walking on again (probably smiling and making eye contact too). Who do you feel more connected to?
6. Make them feel special. That does not have to be a grand gesture. In fact, it shouldn't be. It's the little things that matter. So go ahead, get a little personal. Show that you are interested in their person and they will likely do the same for you.
   • Use the name of the person you are talking to. Put him in between. As early as 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote in his standard work (How to Win Friends and Influence People) that a person's name is the most beautiful words for himself. And if you've only just met them, you'll be able to remember the name better!
   • Remember details. Did your boss happen to mention his daughter's sponsorship campaign this week? Ask how it was. Maybe you need some inspiration.
7. Don't put yourself too central. Sometimes insecure people overcompensate for their low self-esteem by being very self-centered. They think they make such a great impression but only seem selfish. You have to do just the opposite: turn the spotlight on the other person. They feel more pleasant and welcome!
   • When you get a compliment, just say "thank you." If you see an opportunity to share how wonderful you are, let it go. People don't need to know how many awards you have won or how many important people you know or what you have seen and done. That will come up again and again. You don't have to force it.
8. Be positive. This hardly needs explanation. Happiness and positivity are contagious. People like happy people. If you get positive energy from something, it is refreshing. It may be tempting to appear modest by belittling yourself or to appear intellectual by hating everything (we all know someone like that), DON'T! It is not good for you, not for your wrinkles and not for the people around you.
   • Now that we've established this (you knew there was going to be a catch right?), You need to know when to act pathetic. Complaining is a way of getting people together. Just make sure you're not always complaining. Did your boss just quit Casual Friday and decide everyone should work overtime? Then it is possible. Did Charlotte just eat the last cookie? Not a suitable time. Again, choose your moments.
9. Know when to end the conversation. There is no conversation in the world that lasts or should last indefinitely. No one. Not really. Not at all. And one conversation is shorter than the other. If you find that your conversation is starting to bleed to death, let that happen. Tell your conversation partner how interesting it was (unless it was awful; in which case you may wonder why you wasted time on that person) and say you'll talk to them again soon. So. Ready.
   • If things start to get uncomfortable, politely back off. Simple: "I have to go again. Goodbye! "Is sufficient. And don't think it's up to you: 17% of all conversations are uncomfortable. About. One day it will be researched. Probably.

Method 3 of 3: Mastering the skills

1. Be well mannered. When was the last time you hung out with someone who was downright rude? If it wasn't long ago, it was probably one of your old, bitter relatives. If you could really choose, you wouldn't have. So don't turn into your cranky grandpa. Say "please" and "thank you", keep the door open for whoever is behind you. Can you think of a reason not to?
   • It is absolutely not interesting to treat the people below you as if they were below you. So tip the waitress. Ask her how you are. Don't be annoyed to the store clerk if the item you were looking for is sold out. Just be polite to everyone.
2. Learn to control your emotions. The most esteemed people are those who are calm, relaxed, and easygoing. People (especially strangers) can turn off if they see that you are extremely neurotic, difficult, or paranoid. This will only make you feel more tense, and those others will only feel more uncomfortable.
   • That doesn't mean you should be cautious about other people's emotional needs, but try to help others in a pleasant and comforting way. They want to see a stable and happy person. Try not to get on your toes too quickly, and have a good sense of humor in general.
3. Be involved. The first hit is worth a daalder! If you are with someone on the football team, for example, you have enough material to talk about and it also shows that you have something in common. We humans like to feel that others are like us. So join a club or join a group and connect with others. You cannot be appreciated when you are alone at home!
   • This way you also come into contact with people you can get along with automatically. It is difficult to hang out with strangers or people you have no similarities with. A club or group is a good place to try out your new social skills!
4. Smile and make eye contact. You can say so many friendly and interesting things, if you frown and just stare into your coffee no one will pay any attention. And soon you'll be the one sitting in a corner talking to his coffee in the morning. Smile! Make people think you are approachable and alert. And watch them when they talk to you. Complicated, isn't it?
   • When you are tense, it is very tempting to avoid eye contact. If this applies to you, pay special attention to it. If you don't, it seems a bit rude - especially if someone is talking to you. They do not know what is up to you and assume that you are not paying attention. A good rule of thumb is, if they talk about something they care about, do your best. If it's just superficial conversation, loose remarks, you can let your gaze wander.
5. Read up! To hold your own in a conversation you have to strike the right tone, look approachable and radiate positivity, but if you don't have anything to say, it's all pretty pointless. So you read up on current topics. Treat yourself to a few hours of TV and some aimless internet browsing. You feel better when you have something interesting to say.
   • Not everyone finds the same interesting. Therefore, not everyone will appreciate you. If you learn about the latest space technology and how to get tickets to that one-off Doctor Who show, you won't score very well with the group that watched Real Housewives last night. Stick to your own interests - that's what it's all about in the end.
6. Don't try too hard. Everyone knows someone who is overly nice. Paying compliments all the time, doing their utmost to please everyone, and never making decisions because they don't want to force anything. Don't be a doormat that everyone wants to keep as a friend! You will be more appreciated if you do have a backbone and a little bit of self-esteem. Without personality, there is no one inside that sheet of yours to appreciate!
   • It has to be said again: it is not possible to please everyone. You will get along with some people and less so with others. That's the way the world works. So don't worry if you can't get through the bend with someone. Then it will work with someone else.
7. Have confidence because you are great. For real. If you think people don't appreciate you, chances are it's just your own idea. You are a unique person who can be there in this world. You just have to show it to notice. So get out there! You can't win if you don't play.

Tips

• Start modestly. This whole process is a huge challenge and it takes time, so don't rush and get upset because it doesn't work the way you thought it would. Set small goals, or just work very thoroughly on each step before starting the next.
• Seek adventure. People appreciate others who want to try new things and participate in things outside their familiar circle. Be brave and curious; keep your interest and see where you end up.
• Always be yourself. If people love you for something that isn't you, it might seem like a good idea to keep playing that role, but it isn't. Don't be afraid - just show who you are. And choose the people who love you for who you are.
• Read more articles on this topic. All of which are very useful and will help you on your way.
• Be committed. Your teammates don't appreciate you that much if you don't come to the games / performances and hardly ever participate. So remember to do what you can for your team or club.
• Don't participate in too many extracurricular activities. That can sometimes get too busy and you get overstrained. It is best to start with one and devote yourself to it. If you think you are on the right track, you can try to add another activity, but don't overdo it.

Warnings

• This article is not about popularity. It's about appreciation. So don't get angry or sad if you don't climb the social ladder.