Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: choosing a boy
• Part 2 of 2: After your decision
• Tips
• Warnings

Some people think that being in love with two guys is automatically twice the fun. Unfortunately, it usually means that your heart is being torn in two and you will not feel complete until you make a decision. If you have to choose between two guys, it's best to consider how both guys make you feel. Trust your gut and base your choice on that. Follow the steps below if you want to make a choice without too much heartbreak afterwards.

To step

Part 1 of 2: choosing a boy

1. Think about the positives of both guys. When you're with them, focus and think hard about what you like about them. You can't always pinpoint the complex feelings that come with falling in love. Still, it's important to gather as much information as possible when making an important decision like this one. As you talk to the guys, ask yourself the following questions:
   • Can I laugh with him? Does he have a sense of humor? We are all attracted to someone who makes us laugh. Guys with a good sense of humor keep us on our toes and make us look at the world around us in a different way.
   • Does he show interest in other people? Is he interested in the world around him? Boys who only have an eye for themselves are boring. Go for a guy who has hobbies, friends and a good vision of life.
   • Is he in touch with his emotions? Does he show feelings to other people? Many boys have an emotional side; the problem is they don't want to show it. A boy who dares to show his emotional side proves that he is mature and has self-confidence.
   • Does he flirt with respect? In fact, this question boils down to this: does he show interest only in your body and appearance, or also in your personality? Does he compliment you on aspects other than just your body?
   • Is he taking it easy? Guys who take it slow know how to enjoy themselves. They want to make the most of the time they spend with you. Guys racing through life are already sitting with the next girl before you, "Ready, set!" said.
2. Find out how both guys make you feel. That's just as important as thinking about what you like about both guys. It may be that one of you has all the qualities you are looking for and that he is better on paper, but the other boy may be able to get your heart racing with a short text message. So it is important that you not only consider why you like the boy, but also consider how he makes you feel. Does he give you confidence, does he make you feel happy, do you feel a better person with him? Here are a few things to consider for yourself:
   • How does he make you feel when you are with him? Does he show that he is only interested in you, or does he flirt with other girls all the time and do you feel like you are just one of the many girls in front of him?
   • Does he bring out the best in you, or does he settle for you while you are just “okay” to him.
   • Does he challenge you and make you want to be a better person?
   • Does he give you valuable and spontaneous compliments?
   • Does he make you blush, giggle and sometimes make you feel like an innocent little girl?
   • Does he treat you like a lady and make you feel special?
3. Identify the boys' negative sides. Perhaps you are just thinking about all the great qualities of both and how they both give you butterflies in your stomach. To get things straight, you also have to think about the negative sides of their personality and lifestyle. If you want to make a serious consideration, bring all the pros and cons of both guys. Here are a few points to consider:
   • Does the boy have a lot of luggage? Does he have a complicated past or a lot of emotional issues to resolve? You have a lot of fun with him now, but do you want to deal with his problems in the long run?
   • Is he bossy or manipulative? Does he always want to get his way, or is he unable to admit his mistakes? That could mean that he is selfish and that the relationship can turn out very differently than you currently expect.
   • Has he ever lied to you? You want a guy you can trust, a guy who isn't afraid to be honest, no matter how painful the truth may be. Guys who spread gossip and rumors don't care much about other people. Stay away from guys like that.
   • Does he have problems at school, with his parents or even with the police? Bad boys may have a sexy thing about them, but if he's too busy with his bad friends and mischief, he probably doesn't have time for you.
   • Is he still talking about his ex-girlfriend? If he talks about his ex a lot, even if it's just minor comments in between, that's a bad sign. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, it means he still loves her.
4. Guess how both guys feel about you. If both the guys absolutely love you, you're faced with a tough choice. You shouldn't automatically choose the guy who likes you the most simply because that's the safest choice. Consider what you mean to both guys and what it would mean to them if they lost contact with you. If you think he wouldn't care and he hit on the next girl right away, he's not the guy for you. If you think one of the guys likes you more than the other, it should play a big part in your decision.
   • You don't have to ask the man this. You can estimate how a guy feels about you by the way he looks at you, how often he wants to meet up and how often he talks about a future with you.
   • Of course, if you're just looking for a vacation buddy or just want to get some dating experience, don't expect the guy in question to have future plans for you. This does not have to be taken into account in your decision.
5. Ask good friends for their opinion. You don't have your friends for nothing: they give you a helping hand, give you good examples and advice when you need it. Take their advice, but always with a grain of salt. Ultimately, you are the one who makes the decision. Keep in mind that they should not decide who the best guy is for you or who they would choose. They should help you determine what is best for you.
   • Don't ask, "Who do you like better?" Ask, “Who do you think is better for me?” This way you avoid having your friends tell you who they would be dating, instead of who you should be dating.
   • Be open to their suggestions! If you secretly already know which guy you like best, it makes no sense to ask for the opinion of your friends. If you ask for their advice, be prepared to follow it.
6. List their similarities and differences. This will help you understand what you really want. How do both guys make you feel? List the things you really want in a guy and the ones you don't. Make a table of pros and cons of each boy's strengths and weaknesses. Then compare the pros and cons list with your list of the things you want in a guy. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
   • Which boy will treat me better?
   • Which boy will always be there for me, even when times are tough?
   • Which boy do I have more in common with?
   • Which boy would I like to see every day when I get home?
   • Which guy could get along better with my family and friends?
   • Which boy could I not miss in my life?
7. Trust your gut. We can't just pick anyone we want. We are born a certain way and we develop likes and dislikes. Don't try to analyze too much. Trust your gut about both guys and go for it. Throw a coin in the air. Agree with yourself: with head you go for boy A, with coin you go for boy B. While the coin is floating in the air, you probably secretly hope for one of the two sides.Voilà! Your question has been answered.
   • If you know that one of the guys is actually bad for you, but you still feel attracted to him (and less to the other guy), it makes sense not to see both guys for a while. Being single for a while can be really refreshing. In any case, it's better than being in a bad relationship.
   • Learn from your mistakes. If your previous relationship ended in a bad way, make sure you don't make the same mistakes again. Even though you are greatly attracted to him, he is not worth feeling miserable and heartbroken again.
8. Take it easy. Don't feel compelled to make a hasty decision. You can take the time to choose. During that time, it may well be that one of the guys does something good or bad, making your decision easier. As long as you have not yet "officially" committed yourself to either guy and give both of you the same amount of attention, you can take your time to make your decision.
   • Don't let it take overly long, though. If you end up going with either one and he finds out that you dated two guys for a few months, he might feel hurt.

Part 2 of 2: After your decision

1. Be true to the guy you ultimately choose. Once you've made your choice, stick to your decision. That doesn't mean you have to tell the guy in question, "Hey, I chose you instead of Boy A!" That makes him feel like he's not special to you. You have to show him from your heart and with your actions that you are going all out for him. Do your best to build a healthy and stable relationship with the guy you have chosen, only with him and with no one else.
   • Imagine dating only the guy you chose from now on. Enjoy being able to interact with him in a relaxed manner, without doubting the other boy.
   • If you feel empty or incomplete without the other guy, it could mean you made the wrong choice. You may also have never really liked the boy in question, maybe it was just about conquering it.
   • Be nice to the other boy, but don't go out of your way to be alone with him. If you're too nice to him, he might think he has another chance with you. Plus, you might be making the guy you've chosen unnecessarily jealous.
2. Be prepared for the aftermath. Remember that your relationship with both guys will be affected by your final choice. This is the other side of the coin. Chances are you will break the other boy's heart and the chances of a relationship with him have probably been looked into. If the guy you don't choose doesn't know about the other guy, it's best to leave it that way. Don't make it a big deal by explaining to him exactly why you're breaking up the "relationship". Enjoy the fact that you have made the decision, but be prepared for a turbulent period.
   • Keep in mind that you might be playing the two guys off against each other. What if they are best friends? What are you doing then? If you choose one of them and the other likes you too, they probably can't be friends anymore. If you want to avoid a complicated situation, it's best to date someone else.
   • Be prepared to lose the guy you didn't choose. Maybe he can't handle staying friends after you date and flirt. But that may also be better.
3. Accept your decision. Your life is yours and you decide how you live your life - as long as you hurt others as little as possible. Even though you feel guilty about your decision, you and the two guys are better off when your feelings are in balance. Don't string the guys on and be proud of yourself for making an adult decision.
   • Don't be afraid to make mistakes; you can learn from mistakes.
   • You shouldn't want to be liked by everyone. Important decisions like this always hurt someone.

Tips

• Remember that you are the one who decides which guy is best for you, despite all the advice you get from others.
• If you can't choose and tend to think, "How would it have been if ...", you better forget both. Trying to make a choice will only make things difficult for yourself and it may make them sad again.
• When everyone asks you, "Who are you going to choose?" or, "Hurry up with your choice!", it is best to choose a different boy altogether. There are more fish in the sea.

Warnings

• The moment you feel like you can't be faithful to one of the guys anymore, you're about to cheat.