Making your wife feel like you love her

Video: How To Make Her Feel Loved | 2 SECRETS To Improve Your Connection!

Content

To step
Method 1 of 3: Loving her by knowing her (and yourself)
Method 2 of 3: Make loving gestures
Method 3 of 3: Creating a loving environment
Tips
Warnings

Without making too many assumptions or using too many stereotypes, it's safe to say that there are many women who don't feel loved as much as they desire and deserve. Maybe they really lack the love of their partner, but it is just as likely that their husbands are not that great at expressing their love. If you want to make your wife feel loved, do things and behave in a way that proves that you know, cherish, put her on top, and do everything you can to make her feel beautiful, appreciated, and heard.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Loving her by knowing her (and yourself)

Read the advice, but trust your own instinct. There are many thousands of web pages (including this one, of course) dedicated to how to make the special woman in your life feel beautiful, appreciated, and loved. However, remember that you are not trying to make an "average" woman feel loved, but a unique woman in the world, namely your wife.
- Some women want to be showered with gifts, others enjoy the money saved at the supermarket. Some want to be treated like princesses, and others like an equal. Use the tips here as a guide, not as a guarantee.
- Also note that because this article is likely to be consulted by husbands who wish to make their wives feel more loved, these steps may make some generalizations about marital roles and characteristics of men and women. However, most of the advice should apply to your specific situation.
Show that you know her best. You will come across a lot of advice telling you to bring some flowers with you now and then, but you know that in reality she prefers a large slice of cheesecake. As her husband, you (hopefully) know her better than anyone else in the world, and one of the best ways to make her feel loved is to prove that point.
- Dr. John Gottman, a recognized authority in the field, talks about "improving your love card." Essentially, what this means is getting to know each other's worlds (background, current concerns, hopes and dreams, etc.) even better, and strengthening your mutual bond with the help of this mutual knowledge. If your map of her world isn't very detailed, work on becoming more open and listening. Other parts of this article may help you with that.
- Think about activities and experiences that have made your wife the happiest. Make notes if necessary. If she likes a good adventure, make it a priority. If the simple pleasures of a quiet evening together on the couch are her thing, then go that route.
- In some ways, you may know her better than she knows herself. So don't always just do what she says she wants to make her feel loved. Listen, observe, learn, draw on your shared history and do what you know will make her feel loved.
Speak her language. The concept of the "five languages of love" has become known in connection with relationship problems and possible solutions to them. Often the problem is not that you (the husband) are not trying to show your love, but that the way you express it (your "language") is not understood as such by your wife.
- According to this concept, the five languages of love are: affirmative words; helpfulness; receive gifts; time for each other; and physical contact. The theory is that each person receives love mainly in one of these five languages. For example, a woman who cares about spending time together will feel more loved by a picnic in the park than cleaning her car (helpfulness) or getting flowers (receiving gifts).
- Here you will have to draw on your history, experiences and unique bond with your wife. Think about what kinds of love expressions are most warmly received by her, and devote yourself to offering your love according to her "native language." Even if you don't fully go along with the story that we all fit into one of these five categories of a "love language," it can certainly help you analyze more deeply what types of love expressions are most effective for your wife.

Method 2 of 3: Make loving gestures

Do the little things. Big gestures - the surprise trip to Paris, the kitchen of her dreams, that diamond necklace - certainly have their place in showing your love. However, these are more like a "love adrenaline" shot.In everyday life, small gestures of affection and appreciation can provide the steady energy needed to sustain love in the long run.
- You can give her a loved one by emptying the wastepaper basket without her having to ask, by offering to take the kids to soccer practice or do the dishes before she has a chance to do it herself? You will be surprised how much impact such small daily activities have in making her feel appreciated in your relationship.
- Show her you're thinking about her. Leave her a note in the morning. Text her with words of encouragement before her big presentation at work. Don't just think about her birthday - but also her mother's. Few things make someone feel more loved than sincerely believing that the person you love is thinking about you at the very same moment.
Surprise her. Yes indeed, that trip to Paris and diamond necklace help to make her feel loved. But surprises don't always have to be big to be pleasant and loving.
- Take her out to a nice place, unannounced. Book a nice restaurant or theater tickets, arrange a babysitter, or even surprise her with a ride in a limousine if you want. Leave new earrings that you know she would like on her pillow. Decorate her from scratch every now and then.
- Especially if your wife responds most strongly to "quality time", just a little extra effort can sometimes pay off. Every now and then, leave the paperwork for what it is and come home a little earlier, just to be with her. Go for a walk, prepare dinner together, or do whatever comes to your mind with the unexpected free time together. Yes, there are a million work and home tasks you can do, but be a little "irresponsible" every now and then to be alone with her.
Make her feel beautiful. We can safely say that all women (and men) want to be attractive to the person they love. Never assume she knows you still think she is as beautiful as the day you got married - tell her. Often.
- Do not let her notice that you are looking at other women, as this can send a bad signal. Just as importantly, make her notice you look at her every now and then. Let her know you're watching her when she tries on that new dress, or even when she's wearing a sweater. If the timing is right (probably not in public) and you know she'll appreciate it, don't hold back and whistle approvingly or otherwise let her know.
- Never, ever, negatively compare her to another woman's appearance, or even an old photo of herself. She knows that over the years, some parts of her body have changed shape or changed. Let her know that you like her the way she is now.
Let her know through your actions that she comes first. "Women and children first" may be an outdated concept in some circles, but putting your wife above all else is not. Do whatever you can to make it easier for her. No one has ever argued that love is simple or without effort or sacrifice.
- While 'old-fashioned' gentleman behavior, such as holding doors open for a woman and pulling back chairs, is sometimes appreciated and sometimes not appreciated, gestures clearly intended as a sign of attention, respect, and affection probably will turn into. Much depends on how you present your efforts. Don't carry the groceries for her or refuel the car for her just because you think she can't do it herself. Do this to make her day a little bit easier. Do this with a smile, not a grunt.
- Especially if your wife speaks the "language of love" in terms of "service," it should work effectively if you make her needs and comforts a priority. You are also likely to garner admiration, and you are more likely to feel loved by someone you admire.

Method 3 of 3: Creating a loving environment

Listen to her and really listen. No, not all women are the same, but it's safe to assume that your wife wants you to at least occasionally just sit down and listen as she airs her heart, complains, brags, gossips, wallows, asks, or just talks.
- Dr. John Gottman advises husbands to "turn to each other," in a more figurative sense, but it's also a good first step to really listen. Look at your wife when she wants to say something. Maintain eye contact. Turn off the television. Put your phone away. Listen more than you talk, unless she wants a response. It always feels good to know that someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say, no matter how mundane or nonsensical it may be.
- Listen without trying to fix the problem right away. Sometimes your wife, like everyone else, just needs a sounding board. She might want to put it into words and look at a problem with a colleague from all sides, for example, and then what she needs is an encouraging face, not for you to call the office the next day to "make things right." Attentive listening is often the best way to be supportive, and essential to resolving problems in and out of marriage.
Be strong enough to be vulnerable and accept help. The prevailing stereotype remains the stoic, closed man and woman eager to use her "maternal instinct" to care for him (if only he "opened up to her"). However correct (or completely false) this picture of your situation may be, opening yourself up and allowing your wife more into your life will almost certainly be interpreted as a sign of love.
- If she wants to pamper you when you're sick, let her do it (without taking advantage of it). If she wants to know how you feel about your mother's passing, talk to her about it. Let her be the rock you lean on, just as you try to be for her. Never be afraid to cry. This is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Show the courage to be open, honest, and vulnerable. She didn't marry you because you were supposed to be perfect. She doesn't always want a knight in shining armor; usually she will want you to get off that horse. Show her who you really are and trust that this will make her feel loved.
Be an example to your children. If you have children together, they are probably now at the heart of her sense of self and purpose, perhaps even in a way that they are not for you as a father. Regardless of the changing terrain of what it means to be a "good" mother or father, being a loving, caring, and committed parent is always one of the best ways to show your love to your wife.
- Think of your children as an extension of your wife, because in many ways they are. In fact, they are an extension of you both, a new world of "shared meaning" that binds you together. Make them feel loved, and your wife will feel this too. Many widows refer to their husbands as "the good father he was" as one of their first compliments.
- Show your kids how much you love your wife so that they appreciate her too. Compliment your wife in front of your children. Treat her with respect. Tell her she's beautiful and give her presents in front of the kids, or let them help you with it.
Say "I love you" as if you mean it and mean it when you say it. These four words, well placed, invariably make everyone feel loved. If "words of affirmation" are your wife's primary "love language", then this phrase becomes even more important.
- The casual "I love you" when you go out to work is good, and usually appreciated. However, don't forget to stop for a moment, look her in the eye and say "I love you".
- Tell her when you are unhappy, sad, or frustrated; when things are going well and when things are not going so well. Let her know that your love for her is one of the few constant factors in your life.

Tips

Be sincere.
Give her a kiss even when she's not expecting it.
Don't always expect her love in return for yours. Give it freely without expecting anything in return.