Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Speaking of your apologies
• Part 2 of 3: Turning your apologies into action
• Part 3 of 3: Reinforce your apologies

Have you inappropriately lashed out at your partner or made a rude comment to your boss during a stressful day at work? While it's never pretty, bad behavior can happen and is often triggered by fear, anger, stress, or confusion. If your behavior has left a lot to be desired, you can apologize appropriately to increase your chances of getting back into good graces with the other person.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Speaking of your apologies

1. Take time to calm yourself down before apologizing. While you may want to immediately apologize to the person you insulted as soon as you realize what you've done, you might want to wait a while before doing so. Depending on how bad your behavior was, you may want to wait a day to give the person some space and calm down on your own.
   • Taking a moment to calm yourself can also help you think about how you'd like to apologize and what you're going to say. Often times, a well-thought-out and straightforward apology one day after the incident can be more effective than a casual, odd-looking apology immediately after the incident.
2. Write a letter. If you are having a hard time expressing your apology, you may want to try writing a letter. Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you feel better about what you want to say to the person. It will also force you to face up to your bad behavior and consider why you have acted that way. Being able to pinpoint the reason (s) for your behavior can enable you to write a more sincere and clearer apology to the person. While you may not actually be giving the letter to the person, writing down your thoughts can help you better convey a personal apology.
   • In your letter, you should focus on expressing your regret, but without adding an excuse for your behavior. Don't say something like, "I'm sorry for my behavior, but I'm under a lot of stress right now" rather, "I'm sorry for my behavior and the way I treated you. I was tense and took that on you, which was inappropriate. "Replacing the word" but "with the word" and "can be a good start.
   • You should also try to empathize with the person's point of view in your letter, understanding why the person may have become angry with you. Also indicate that you will try to cope better in the future, as this shows that you are making an effort to correct your behavior.
   • End the letter with positive action, stating that what you did will never happen again and that you hope that both of you can put the incident behind you. You may want to sign the letter with the words "sincerely" to show that you are trying to be honest and truthful.
3. Apologize privately in a quiet private setting. If you decide to apologize in person, make sure you apologize in a quiet, private setting. This could be in your office at work, in a meeting room, at your home or in a quiet area of ​​the library. Apologizing in a private space, privately, allows you to be honest and forthright about your feelings.
   • If the person is very upset with you because of your behavior, you may want to suggest a public place that is neutral and safe for both of you, such as a grand café nearby where the person lives or a restaurant.
4. Accept responsibility for your behavior. Begin your apology by discussing your bad behavior and acknowledging that it was inappropriate. Be specific about your behavior, as this will show the person that you are able to take responsibility for what you do. Doing so indicates that you are willing to admit you were wrong, which will likely make the person more willing to forgive you.
   • For example, you could say, "It was wrong of me to yell at you at the meeting with the shareholders. It was also wrong of me to scold you and use inappropriate language during the conversation. "
5. Show regret for your behavior. Once you have acknowledged your behavior and that it was inappropriate, you should sincerely express regret for your words and actions. This will let the person know that you are aware that you have caused them discomfort or hurt them. You are trying to connect with the person emotionally, so try to be as honest and sincere as possible.
   • For example, you could say, "I realize my words and actions were wrong and I regret letting my anger get out of hand." I know I hurt and embarrassed you, and I'm sorry for my behavior. "
6. Make a promise to change your behavior. You should provide a way to make up for your behavior, be it a promise that you will never act the way you did or a promise that in the future you will speak respectfully to the person instead of him or her to attack. You have to make a realistic promise as a way of reinforcing your apologies to the person. Make sure you state in your pledge your desire to change your behavior so that you don't behave badly again.
   • For example, you could say, "I promise never again to raise my voice in a meeting and never again speak inappropriately to you or the others. You can also say, "I know I keep lashing out at you and I don't want to keep acting like that. I'm going to work on the way I deal with my emotions and make sure I don't take them out on my environment. "
   • Another option is to ask the person how you can make it up to you and let him or her express his or her expectations of you. This can be a useful option if you apologize to a partner or spouse and want them to provide input on how to make up for your bad behavior. You can then ask, "How can I correct my behavior?"
7. Ask for forgiveness. You must close your apology by asking for forgiveness for your actions. Asking for forgiveness and submitting yourself to the other person's mercy will show that you really mean the apology.
   • Always formulate the request for forgiveness as a question, rather than a statement. You want the forgiveness part to make the other feel that you are at their mercy, rather than demanding something. You can say, "I'm sorry I behaved like this. I know that I have behaved inappropriately. Can you forgive me? "

Part 2 of 3: Turning your apologies into action

1. Offer compensation for items damaged as a result of your behavior. If you've mistakenly treated a colleague or acquaintance, such as spilling coffee on a co-worker's shirt or forgetting lunch with an acquaintance, you may be able to offer some form of compensation. This can be a redeeming action that is tangible, such as paying to steam the shirt or pay lunch for the acquaintance to make up for it the first time you forget. Offering the person at least some compensation is often enough to show that you feel bad and want to try to make up for your behavior.
   • Offered compensation can be financial if you have damaged someone else's property through your behavior. You can also offer compensation through other actions, such as paying for the other person's coffee if you accidentally spill his or her, or reimburse someone's broken phone if you accidentally broke it.
2. Give the person a gift. Another way to make up for bad behavior is to surprise the person you offended with a gift. This can be a standard present, such as a bouquet of flowers or a box of sweets. Place the gift on his or her desk or have them delivered with a card stating how sorry you are. The small gift can at least help the person let go of the anger and accept your apologies.
   • You could also come up with a gift that is special to the person in question, such as a cup with his or her favorite celebrity on it or a box of favorite chocolates. Thoughtful, personalized gifts are usually a big hit and can show the person that you feel bad about your behavior.
3. Do something for the person to make his or her day. You can also do something nice for the person to make their day more fun and show that you want to make up for your behavior. This could be something like a surprise outing like lunch or bringing your favorite lunch to work. You can also schedule a trip for two to make up for missing an appointment with the person.
   • Often apologies must be accompanied by acts of kindness. You may need to write a thoughtful, heartfelt apology and share it with the person, as well as do something kind, to get the person to forgive you.

Part 3 of 3: Reinforce your apologies

1. Give the person time to process your apologies. Once you have apologized through words and / or actions, it is important that you give the person time to process your apologies. Don't expect the person to forgive you right away or say "no problem" after you apologize. It may take a while for the person to accept your apologies and move away from your behavior.
   • You may need to give the person space and not see him or her for a moment so that the person is able to process their own emotions about the event and feel the willingness to forgive you.
   • Be patient when you give a person time. It's not because you thinks enough time has passed that this is the case. The other person may need more time than you think.
2. Be nice to the person, even if he or she is still angry with you. If the person does not say, "I forgive you," you may become frustrated or irritated, especially if you have offered a sincere apology. However, you cannot force the person to forgive you and becoming rude or unkind will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on kindness and attention to the person, even if they act coldly towards you.
   • Do your utmost to be kind. Show the other person that you still want to be friends, even if they haven't forgiven you yet.
3. Focus on changing your bad behavior. If the person doesn't accept your apology, you may need to look at yourself and focus on changing your behavior. Activate your changed self and show the person that you are trying to get better at maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries. Over time, the person may see that you have changed and consider resuming your relationship.
   • Remember that actions speak louder than words. Acting more responsibly and thoughtfully will show the person that you are seriously trying to change.