Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Looking at yourself
• Part 2 of 3: Letting go of negativity
• Part 3 of 3: Feeling the best you can

The pressure to look good by generally accepted standards is so great that even pre-schoolers worry about it. You may only feel ugly at certain times or perhaps most of the time. Either way, feeling ugly is no reason to deny yourself happiness. Learn to deal with a lack of self-confidence, work on your attractive sides, and love yourself.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Looking at yourself

1. Look critically at beauty ideals. The way you look at yourself is shaped by influences that have little to do with reality. Beauty ideals are contradictory and are constantly changing. They tend to reflect an imbalance in power - racism, ageism, validism, sexism. Whenever you have a negative thought about your own appearance, ask yourself, What makes me feel like this? Am I trying to conform to a standard that is destructive?
   • Watching a lot of TV makes most people want to look different.
   • Understand that the reasons why some appearances may be used in advertising has very little to do with what is attractive in real life.
   • The people in these photos are updated to look smooth and fit. If someone didn't have wrinkles, fat or asymmetry in real life, they would look terrifying.
   • Understand that different forms of beauty are appreciated for different reasons. For example, mannequins are often skinny so that their body is not distracting from the clothing.
2. Gather role models around you. Nobody's appearance is unique. Find beautiful people who look like you. It's hard to really look at yourself when you're surrounded by people who don't look like you. Don't forget the fairytale of the ugly duckling: it's not that he eventually became beautiful growing up, but that he was criticized for the wrong context when he was younger.
   • Collect images of people you like with the same traits that you have. Look for images of people with your hair, body type, skin, and similar eyes, nose, and mouth.
   • Look in magazines, museum catalogs and on the internet.
   • Look for images of people from the country where your ancestors came from.
   • Look at pictures of beautiful people from different eras. You will find that the standard of beauty is constantly changing, never being the only standard, even within a country or a year.
   • Hang the pictures in your room.
   • Dress up as one of your famous beauty icons at a fancy dress ball.
3. Accept compliments. When someone lets you know that you look good, assume that it is genuine. You don't have to like yourself to believe that others like you. Just say, "thank you," and compliment your admirer in turn.
   • When someone likes you, believe it.
   • People with low self-esteem can sometimes cancel a date because they have difficulty accepting the offer. Just go!
   • Ask the person you're dating what that person likes about you. You will be surprised what the other finds attractive.
   • Make sure that you also make clear to the other person what you like about him or her! Thoughtful, heartfelt compliments are attractive, too.

Part 2 of 3: Letting go of negativity

1. Name your feelings. When you have unpleasant thoughts and feelings, mention them. When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, ask yourself, "Why am I suddenly feeling so awful?" Then look for triggers, such as being bombarded by advertisements, being rejected by friends, or being hungry and tired. ”Finally give a name to the feeling. the feeling that only beautiful people can be truly happy.
   • You don't have to fight against these feelings. Just name them and then release them.
   • If they don't leave, tell them to leave. "Only-beautiful-people-can-ever-be-happy-feeling, go away. I'm tired and you always come by when I'm tired. I'm going to rest now and want you to stop bothering me with this nonsense."
   • Love yourself before trying to change anything. Accept your appearance and accept your feelings. If you try to change or "make" yourself better, without first thinking carefully about your worth as a human being, you may find that your progress will falter.
   • Ask yourself, "Do I deserve to be happy? Do I matter, just the way I am?"
   • If you can answer yes to these questions, then you are on the right track.
2. Ignore hateful people. When other people insult you or try to fix you, turn them off or ignore them. When someone insults you, it means there is something wrong with them. No one who is happy, healthy, or feels safe takes the trouble to insult other people. Instead of responding with an insult or getting angry, stop the interaction immediately. Say something like, "grow up" or "worry about yourself."
   • Don't insult yourself by taking the insult seriously, but feel free to be as angry as you want to be. Just remind yourself that you are angry because someone was unkind and tried to activate your insecurities. Name the feeling you have.
   • Say goodbye to "friends" who are trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Hold on to friends who are supportive and kind.
   • Try not to be offended if someone gives you a beauty advice. Instead, consider befriending someone who seems to know a lot about hair styling, makeup, and other beauty topics. You may even enjoy learning more about these things and you may even gain confidence as a result of your newfound knowledge of beauty.
3. Use loving language to describe yourself. When you find yourself putting yourself down, stop it. Treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend. Would you call a friend "ugly" or criticize them? Would you worry about her appearance all the time?
   • Write a letter to yourself describing yourself as a good friend would. Interrupt this if you find yourself writing something that feels insincere or forced. Try to write down exactly what you'd like to be viewed by someone you love.
   • Remember, the word "ugly" is rarely used, except by disaffected teenagers and unusually insecure adults. If you call yourself ugly, you will likely surprise and shock those around you.
   • Ask yourself, would I describe one of my friends as ugly?
   • Unless you feel terrible about yourself, you are unlikely to think of anyone else as ugly.
4. Ask others for help. If you seriously look down on yourself and cannot come to terms with the feelings you are experiencing, seek professional help. Consult a doctor or a psychotherapist if you are thinking of harming yourself. If you are depressed, avoid things you enjoy doing, or are too scared to interact with other people or do your job, seek help.
   • Consult a doctor if your own body image is not up to what others tell you, or if you think about your appearance more than a few minutes a day.

Part 3 of 3: Feeling the best you can

1. Determine your passion. You feel better about your life and yourself when you do something you really love. Take time to reflect on what your passions are. Write down your thoughts so you can reread them and use them to help develop your talents. Here are some writing activities that can help you define your passions:
   • Think about what you wanted to do as a child. What did you love to do when you were a kid? Did you enjoy playing softball? To draw? To dance? Or something else? Write down your memories of what you really enjoyed doing as a child.
   • Make a list of people you look up to. List the people you most admire. Write about what you admire about them and how that might translate into your passion.
   • Imagine what you would do if you knew you would succeed. Take a moment to imagine that whatever you do, you are guaranteed success. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Write about your answer.
2. Cultivate your talents. Once you know what makes you happy, find a way to do these things more often. This can be as simple as turning one of your passions into a hobby or something more complex like changing careers.
   • If your passion is something it's hard to break into, like acting, try connecting with a local club or taking classes to give yourself an outlet for your passion.
   • Pay attention to how you feel when you use your talents. You should notice that you have a light, happy feeling. This can help you confirm that you are really excited about this activity. If you find yourself experiencing a heavy, uncomfortable feeling, you may need to reassess it.
3. Embrace your appeal. Beauty and attractiveness are not the same. Attraction is the force with which you attract others. Being beautiful in a standard way can contribute to a person's attractiveness. However, many other qualities can determine attractiveness.
   • Intelligence, kindness, confidence, health, and humor are all attractive traits.
   • People who have a realistic self-image, who are emotionally balanced, and who take good care of themselves are considered attractive.
4. Take advantage of external attractive features. In addition to your personal characteristics, there are other attractions available. The way you walk, how you hold yourself, your smile, and the way you laugh can all be powerful attractors. Walk with grace and rest in a relaxed position. Stand up straight whenever you can.
   • Smiling is one of the most attractive things you can do. When you enter a room, smile at the people who are there. Make eye contact when you smile.
   • Wearing red clothes is attractive. For some reason, pieces of red in your outfit can attract positive attention. Even a red bag or red sneakers can make a difference.
   • Take it easy on the makeup. A little makeup can beautify your look, but too much makeup can make you less attractive. People react to your natural appearance, so wear makeup to enhance it, not cover it up.
5. Try to look your best. You feel best when you take good care of yourself. Shower regularly, wear clothes that fit your body shape. Talk to the salespeople at clothing stores to make sure your clothes are not too tight or too loose. Wear clean clothes in colors that suit you well.Wear styles that say something about who you are: for example, if you like a certain type of music, wear clothes that match that style.
   • Even if you wake up and feel like you are a lost cause, still dress like you feel great. It will help.
   • You don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes.
   • Wear clothes that emphasize physical qualities you like about yourself, but don't try to hide anything. Your body is what you have to work with.
   • Find a haircut, skin care, and style that you enjoy. Getting ready for the day should be fun, not a challenge.
6. Watch your health. Sleep, eat and exercise at a normal pace. Adults need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and teens need 9-11 hours. Being fatigued can cause weight gain as well as health problems.
   • Eat regular meals, but with a variety of foods. Eating many foods will give you the nutrients you need. Eat fruits and vegetables every day, as well as lean proteins, such as eggs, skinless chicken, and beans, and complex carbohydrates, such as whole grain pasta, brown rice, and whole wheat bread.
   • Get regular exercise. Adults need 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity per week.
7. Beware of eating disorders. Eating disorders are extremely dangerous medical conditions. If you show signs of an eating disorder, seek immediate medical attention.
   • Anorexia is a common eating disorder. Characteristics of anorexia include limiting what you eat, constantly thinking about food, feeling guilty about eating, or feeling fat even though others think you are not. Excessive exercise is another possible symptom.
   • Bulimia is an eating disorder in which you first binge and then throw up, exercise, or use laxatives to rid yourself of the calories. If you think you are obsessed with your body weight, feel guilty about eating, feel you have no control over what you eat, or ingest large amounts of food, get tested for bulimia.
   • Binge eating is a related eating disorder. If you eat too much, but you do not purify afterwards, still have a doctor check you.