Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Discovering your life path
• Part 2 of 3: Proactive living
• Part 3 of 3: Letting go of the past
• Tips
• Warnings

Regret can be a powerful barrier to living the life you envision. However, it is never too late to change your life. You can begin to appreciate every day without the burden of a past full of regrets. Find out how you can come to love the path you are on by exploring your desires, taking steps into the future, and letting go of past mistakes.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Discovering your life path

1. Make a bucket list. Research has shown that people tend to regret what they do more not than what they did. With this in mind, create a list of things you want to do during your lifetime. These can be "small" experiences, such as skydiving, or "big" experiences, such as pursuing a career or starting a family.
2. Determine your value system. It is not always clear what makes us happy. Take a moment to examine what you expect from life. Some people find meaning in the joy and challenge of teaching, while others thrive within the competition and creativity of the corporate world. It may be helpful to ask yourself, "Could it be that this venture or path will make me feel regret?"
   • Your values ​​have a lot in common with your main priorities. Look at your daily life to help you answer the following question. What do you spend your time and money on? Family? Study? Art? To travel?
3. Test yourself to find your strongest points. If you're not sure which direction you want to take with your life, or what you find meaningful, take the following personality and ability test. This test will help you discover your strengths and link them to a possible course you want to take in your life: click here.
4. Consult a guidance counselor or life coach. These people try to help people find their innate talents and overcome obstacles. This is especially helpful if you feel frustrated because you don't know which way to go with your life. You can look for a life coach by choosing the following link: click here.
5. Make an inventory of the obstacles in your life. Many people know deep down what they want, but may have trouble achieving those goals and dreams. At the end of their lives, people often regret not pursuing their desires, under pressure from other people. Knowing what is holding you back from reaching your full potential is an important step in the right direction.
   • Keep in mind that most people's regrets center around their education, love affairs, and career. Pay attention to what may be holding you back from developing these areas of your life.

Part 2 of 3: Proactive living

1. Mend broken relationships. Constructive communication can help if you are struggling to maintain a relationship with a close friend, loved one, or family member. Follow these steps to restore that band: This type of communication consists of:
   • Be proactive about recurring disagreements. Recognize signs and triggers of an argument before it happens, pause and reorient yourself to be more aware of these old patterns of behavior. This will help you change the way you react and act more consciously.
   • Express yourself in a way that is more compassionate and less confrontational. Use "me" language instead of "you" language, like, "I'm mad at you for what you said" instead of "you're blunt with me."
   • Look for ways to deal with your emotions, such as breathing intently when you start to get angry. You can do this by paying close attention to the feeling of your breath flowing in and out of your nostrils.
2. Set goals. It is not always easy to achieve our greatest ambitions in life. Use the goal setting technique to do things one step at a time. Here are a few tips for setting realistic and achievable goals:
   • Set goals that are measurable. This helps to feel like you've accomplished something and keep motivation high by being able to track progress.
   • Set goals that are difficult but realistic. Try to find a balance between goals that are challenging, but not impossible. If they are too easy, you can get bored and not really develop. If the goals are too difficult, you can get frustrated and give up.
   • Make sure your goals are flexible. It's okay to stick to a routine, but if your goals are too rigid, it can be discouraging if you don't meet them. Missing a target now and then is not as bad as burning yourself out.
3. Develop your own mode of expressing yourself. Self-expression and creativity are integral to living a good life without regrets. This can manifest in many different ways; from the more traditional paths, such as acting as a musician or artist, to the less common paths, such as being a social worker or computer programmer. Creative expression is not limited to art, but occurs wherever someone has discovered his or her passion. Here are a few steps you can take:
   • Experience things as fully as possible. Slow down a bit and pay attention to the things that are going on around you.
   • Let your self emerge. Beware of outside clues (from other people and society) about what you should be feeling, thinking and doing.
   • Be honest. Being honest with yourself and others will give you the opportunity to grow inwardly.
4. Don't have too many choices. It may seem like it is always better to have more choices than fewer, but research shows that this is not always the case. Having fewer choices means that once you have made a decision, you don't worry so much about the path you have missed. On the other hand, if the decision is reversible and just one of many possibilities, then you are more likely to spend unnecessary time thinking about your decision, leaving you less energy to do other things.
   • For example, if you're looking for universities where you could study after high school, narrow your options down to a handful, instead of applying to 20 different locations.
5. Focus on experiences. Research shows that people tend to regret buying something, while at the same time they tend to regret their experiences. not bought or pursued. Psychology shows that materialism, or wanting a "thing," is not the key to happiness. Experiences create lasting memories as "things" decay and lose their shiny new appeal.
   • For example, you spend money on a family vacation or a trip across Europe, instead of a slightly larger TV.
6. Live in the present. One of the biggest hurdles to experiencing happiness is getting stuck in the past. Mindfulness is all about learning to appreciate and live in the here and now, because that's where life actually happens. Learn to orient yourself in the here and now:
   • Spend at least 5 minutes a day on mindful breathing.
   • Use a word or an image to bring you back to the present. This could be a flower, the word "peace," or whatever works for you.
   • Engage in mindful activities such as yoga or take a walk while focusing all your attention on your footsteps.

Part 3 of 3: Letting go of the past

1. Forgive yourself. Feelings of resentment and anger towards yourself for mistakes you've made in the past disrupt your life, and it can even contribute to health problems, such as cardiovascular disease.
   • Forgive yourself for the right things. Making mistakes is part of what it means to be human and is worth forgiving yourself for, but it shouldn't be necessary to forgive yourself for being who you are: if you're gay or a transgender, or if you have a disability, for example.
2. Use regret to help yourself. Regret actually has several positive aspects. We experience regret when we have to look closely at ourselves and our choices. Research shows that many people perceive regret as more useful emotions than other emotions in areas such as avoiding negative behavior in the future, gaining insight into yourself, and living in harmony with other people.
3. Ask for forgiveness. If you've hurt someone you care about and are having a hard time forgetting the guilt that comes with it, do your best to make amends with that person. You can do this in the following ways:
   • Show that you feel bad about what you did. The first step is to show that you have empathy for what the person is feeling.
   • Accept responsibility for your own actions. Don't blame someone else, but take responsibility for your behavior.
   • Show that you are willing to make it up to you. Make a commitment to behave differently in the future and take steps to make amends.
   • Even if the person isn't that receptive, you've still tried, and that's something you can be proud of.
4. Give up the idea that you need to be in complete control. There are things that you just can't control in your life, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. Life always has something in store for you that you hadn't counted on, or has hidden a trap somewhere. The best way to deal with such a thorny issue is to accept it and engage yourself, enjoying every moment and knowing that you are consciously living even when you are experiencing pain or making bad choices.
5. Create value from your own struggles. One of the best ways to leave the past behind and be able to live without regrets is to put the mistakes of your past to work for you. If you still feel pain about something you did years ago, take it as a sign that something must be done in order to move on. That could mean apologizing to someone, taking a different career path, or moving.

Tips

• Surround yourself with healthy relationships that allow you to express different sides of your personality.
• Follow your dreams and support those close to you to follow their dreams too.

Warnings

• Don't be afraid of regrets. Living timidly to avoid regrets is not a good strategy. Do your best to make good decisions, but accept and forgive yourself if you do end up with regrets.