Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Have a constructive conversation
• Method 2 of 3: Choose when to come out with it and who will tell you first
• Method 3 of 3: Tell your parents, partner and others
• Tips
• Warnings

Feeling comfortable with your sexuality is an important and personal journey. Realizing that you are bisexual may make you wonder how to tell others. The important thing is that you are comfortable as you are and with your sexuality. Find out if you are ready to speak out for your bisexuality or not. If so, then you should choose someone who is trustworthy and supportive to tell. Keep the conversation honest and positive, and you will likely have a constructive conversation.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Have a constructive conversation

1. Decide whether or not you want to have a face-to-face conversation. If you are too nervous to talk to someone about it, you can choose another way to tell it. You can also write a letter or email. This can take a lot of the pressure off your shoulders. Just be sure to start your letter with something like, "Make sure you have some time to read this carefully before you begin." I have something very important to tell you. "
   • If you are confident that you can have a constructive conversation in private, then go for it. One of the benefits of having a face-to-face conversation is that you can see the person's response.
   • Keep in mind that if you put your thoughts in writing, you have no control over them after you send the confession.
2. Find the right time and place. This is an important point to tell someone and it is possible that it will become emotional. Pick a time when both of you will be able to have a thorough conversation. Do not approach someone if they are clearly busy or distracted. For example, don't try to tell your mom just after she's out to go to work.
   • Choose a place that feels right for you. If you feel more comfortable in a private place, choose your living room or kitchen.
   • If you're concerned that the conversation might not go well, think about choosing a more public place, such as a cafe.
3. Start with the positives. Presenting the topic as potentially negative will make the listener more likely to feel that it is bad news. Try to start the conversation by saying something positive. This way you can set the tone for the type of conversation you want to have.
   • Say something like, "I have something important that I want to share with you. I feel good about it and I'm glad I can be honest with you. "
   • Don't say something like, "I need to tell you something you might not want to hear." This will make the other person upset and stressed.
4. Be clear and direct. Don't take too long to get to the point. Make sure you clearly state your news at the beginning of the conversation. You could try saying, "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me." I wanted to let you know that I am bisexual. "
   • Don't shy away from saying, "I wonder if I am bisexual," or "I wondered what you would think if I told you I was bisexual."
   • Let the other person know why it is important for you to tell him or her. You may want them to know because you don't want them to be surprised if they find out that you are dating someone of the same sex.
5. Give the other time to process it. The immediate response can be positive and supportive, but this is not always the case. The other person will likely need some time to process the news. If the other person remains silent, don't pressure him or her to respond immediately.
   • You could say, "I understand this may take you by surprise. Would you like to think about this a little longer? "
   • You may have to tell some people more than once before they fully understand it. For example, if you tell your parents or friends, they may be shocked at first and need time to process what you just said. You may need to bring it up again later and see if they have any questions.
6. Be willing to answer questions. Some people are not sure what it means to be bisexual. The person telling you may have questions. If that's not a problem for you, give them honest answers. If you can explain a little bit about what it means to be bisexual, they may be more willing to listen.
   • Questions like "Are you sure?" And "Don't you think this is a phase?" Are very common.
   • Explain that you are attracted to people who are masculine, feminine, and gender non-conforming.
   • Tell them how this can affect them and their relationship with you.
7. Provide resources. It's a good idea to arm yourself with as much information as you can. That way you can offer resources to the person telling you. You might recommend checking out the website of a nearby LGBTQ center. You can also recommend a university's student counseling center. Universities often have good material online.

Method 2 of 3: Choose when to come out with it and who will tell you first

1. Tell it to one person. You may be very nervous about talking about your bisexuality. That is completely normal! Start small by choosing just one person to tell. You can practice how to tell people, which will make you feel more comfortable. And once you tell it to one person, you have a support system to lean on when you're ready to tell others.
2. Choose your most understanding friend. A good friend can be a good person to start with. If you have several close friends, take a moment to think about who is the most understanding. Maybe it's the person you turn to when dealing with family drama. Or maybe it's the person you know who would never really reveal a secret.
   • If you can't think of a specific example of a friend supporting your girlfriend, it might be a good idea to go through your list again.
3. Choose an understanding family member. You may find it scary to tell family. That makes sense because they are probably a big part of your life. For example, don't feel like you should tell your parents first if you think they won't support you. If you've ever heard a family member make a negative comment about LGBTQ people, or a judgmental comment about bisexuality, look outside of your immediate family and choose someone else to share it with.
   • You might consider going to an open-minded aunt or cousin. If they support you, consider asking them to help you approach other family members.
4. Consider telling someone who is LGBTQ herself. It can be daunting to speak out about your bisexuality. You may be concerned that the other person will not understand. Then possibly have this conversation with another person who is LGBTQ. Who understands what you are going through and can be a good source of support.
   • It's okay if you don't know anyone else who is LGBTQ. You can contact your local LGBTQ center and ask for support.
   • You can also search online groups in your area. They will likely organize social outings where you can meet people.
5. Feel comfortable with your sexuality. The first person to accept it is yourself. If you're figuring out your sexuality, make sure you try to ignore stereotypes as much as possible. Your identity is about you, not what you should feel, think, or do.
   • If you don't feel comfortable talking about your sexuality then that's okay. It's probably a good idea to wait until you're more confident to come out with it.
   • Make sure it is your choice. Don't feel pressured to talk about it. This is a personal decision and it can wait until you are ready.
   • Get used to saying out loud to yourself, "I'm bisexual and I feel really good about that."
6. Think about the benefits of coming out. Take the time to write down why you want this. You could list benefits such as having more genuine relationships and reducing the stress of being secretive. You could also look forward to becoming an active part of the LGBTQ community. Another benefit is that you may eventually become a role model for someone else.
   • If you can think of a lot of benefits, then you are probably ready to tell someone that you are bisexual.

Method 3 of 3: Tell your parents, partner and others

1. Talk to your partner. Tell your romantic partner clearly and directly what your bisexuality means to you. You could say, "I am bisexual, which to me means that I am romantically attracted to people regardless of gender." Make it clear whether this will change your relationship or not. You could say, "I want you to know this doesn't change how I feel about you. I don't want to explore other relationships. However, this is an important part of who I am, so I want you to know. "
   • Listen to your partner and answer their questions honestly.
   • Have patience. They may need time to process this information, and that's okay.
2. Tell your parents. Find a good time to talk to your parents and then be honest with them. You can say, "Mom, I am bisexual. I started dating a girl / I'm in love with a girl so I want you to know about it. "Explain what being bisexual means to you and that you have thought carefully about your sexuality. Your parents can report that they've already discovered this, or the conversation can get quite emotional. Prepare for the following possible responses:
   • Ask what they did wrong
   • Cry or mourn
   • Ask if you are sure
   • Ask if you don't just need more attention
3. Think about whether or not you are dependent on that person. If you are a minor, you probably still live at home.Even if you've gone to college and live in college, you may still be financially dependent on one or both of your parents. If you are concerned that your parents may not support you, you may want to wait to tell them that you are bisexual. You don't want to run the risk that you no longer have a place to live or that you run out of school fees (such as tuition fees).
   • This is also something to consider if you live with your partner. Before telling him or her, you may want to take steps to make sure you are able to be financially independent.
4. Tell someone at work. Check your employer's anti-discrimination policy before telling anyone at work. Make sure you are protected from discrimination at work, then you can talk to your colleagues in the same way as you can talk to a friend. You could say, "I just wanted to let you know that I am bisexual. We've become work friends, and this is an important part of who I am, so I wanted to let you know. "
   • Don't feel obligated to talk about it at work. Only do this if you are fairly confident that you will find support.
   • Even if your workplace has an anti-discrimination policy, it is wise to think about the leaders. Do they support this anti-discrimination policy or have they given you reasons to doubt it?
5. Talk to your doctor. It is essential that you are open with your doctor about your bisexuality. Bisexual women, in particular, often face health risks that are less common among straight or lesbian women. Tell your doctor that you are bisexual and provide all necessary details about your sexual history. Remember, they are not there to judge you.
   • If your doctor seems confused or judgmental, it is time to find a new doctor. Your doctor should be supportive.

Tips

• Don't be pressured to come out.
• Make sure you feel good about your sexuality.
• If you don't feel good about labels, ask people not to use them.
• If you tell someone this, give them time to process it all!

Warnings

• Don't bring it up if it puts you in life-threatening situations. For example, if you live in a country where homosexuality is illegal, it is better not to talk about it in public until you have moved to a safer place.