Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Consider the following
• Part 2 of 2: Bring the bad news
• Tips

Breaking up with someone is never easy, but there are ways in which breaking up can be made easier and less emotionally draining for both parties. Read this article to learn how to do this.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Consider the following

1. Make sure you are 100% sure you want to end the relationship with him. Imagine your life without him and that a further friendship may not be possible afterwards, before you actually end the relationship. If you've broken up and then realize afterwards that you've made a big mistake and then get back together, you've done irreparable damage to the relationship by breaking up first.
   • Check out the pros and cons of going through life as a single. On the one hand, you are free to start dating and flirt with others again, but on the other, you will likely spend more vacations and evenings alone.
   • If you are truly unhappy in the relationship, the thought that you should go on alone should not stop you from ending the relationship with your boyfriend. One of the worst things you can do, both for yourself and your boyfriend, is to continue the relationship when you are unhappy. If you do stay together, you only postpone the moment of breaking up. The longer you wait, the greater the damage you will do to your mutual relationship.
2. Don't ask for a timeout (break up temporarily). Asking for a time out is nothing more than badly reporting that you want to end the relationship. If you think your relationship needs a time out, chances are you actually want to end the relationship but are too scared to be single again.
   • Remember, asking for a time out is no less difficult for your friend than breaking up, as this will also indicate that you are unhappy with the relationship.

Part 2 of 2: Bring the bad news

1. Choose an appropriate time and place to break up. Sometimes it's not even so much the breaking up itself, but more the way it happens that can really hurt.
   • Don't break up with your boyfriend if he's going through a rough time. A difficult time could be caused by a death in his family, difficulties at work, or some other emotionally stressful situation. This would be like kicking after he's already on the ground.
   • Don't end the relationship if you're in the middle of an activity that neither of you can leave. For example, don't care if you're sitting in a restaurant together, going to a movie or a play, or on vacation. Remember, he probably wants to be alone for a few hours to deal with the first blow after you break up.
   • Don't break up in front of other people. This probably makes sense, but you have to be very careful and make sure that no one can hear you when you break up. This would only add an extra unnecessary humiliation to the situation.
   • Don't break up during an argument. You may shout or do things during an argument that you will later regret. Wait for the moment when you can have a rational, mature conversation with each other.
2. Tell him personally. Regardless of how long or short you have been in a relationship, your boyfriend deserves to hear from you in person. So don't send him a message, Facebook message or email telling him you're breaking up.
   • While texting on your phone or online may seem easier, be aware that you cannot add emotion or tone. As a result, breaking up may seem harder than spoken words, even if you typed word for word what you actually said.
   • If you're in a long-distance relationship, you may have no option but to end the relationship on a phone call or through the computer. If so, write a heartfelt letter stating that you don't want to continue the relationship. Writing a letter indicates that you have seriously thought about your decision. Do not make the letter too short, as this could give the impression that it does little to you, but also not too long, as that may be too painful for him.
3. Be honest. If in your view something concrete was missing from the relationship, tell him. This prevents him from worrying about what he did wrong or blaming irrelevant factors, such as work or family. While it may be difficult, being careful about what was missing in the relationship may just make him a better friend to a future partner.
   • Don't try to reassure him by using phrases like, "You deserve someone better." or "We may be able to continue our relationship sometime in the future." unless you really mean this. Making such vague, open-ended promises may give him the idea that the two of you could be together again in the future.
4. Give him space. Every relationship is different, but regardless of your unique situation, you would be wise not to see each other for a while. If you do interact with each other every day, it will be a lot harder to leave it behind.
   • Consider telling him you want to continue as friends, but only if you really mean it. If you do this, keep in mind that it may take him time to feel comfortable around you again. Don't force him to be a friend immediately.

Tips

• If you are not happy and you want to end the relationship, do this. Don't be too hard on yourself and ignore the claim that it will hurt the other person, because in the end you will only hurt yourself.
• Break up with your boyfriend once you've made the decision that you want to break up. Do not keep the relationship or send passive messages with hints or suggestions that you are not happy. This will only damage the relationship more and will make him trust you less.
• If he hurt you, for example by cheating on you or treating you badly, chances are he doesn't deserve your respect; in such a case, don't break it up in a too friendly way.
• Don't be unnecessarily harsh. Only provide him with constructive observations or criticism that will help him in the future. For example, don't tell him you break up because you don't find him attractive enough. He does not "really" need to know such reasons.
• Consider your friend's character. If he is a person who is very emotional or sensitive, consider making the break up seem a little less harsh to protect him.