Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Avoiding Jealousy
• Method 2 of 3: Avoiding destructive behavior
• Method 3 of 3: Focusing on ourselves

Having an object of adoration can be an enjoyable experience, however, things get more complicated when that object starts dating someone. It’s even worse if that someone is your enemy. You may feel angry, frustrated, or jealous. If your loved one is dating your enemy, you can learn to avoid any expressions of jealousy in order to stay away from negative emotions.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Avoiding Jealousy

1. 1 Let go. Jealousy is a destructive negative emotion. It will consume you, turning you into a miserable, self-despising person. Holding on to your jealousy can lead to frustration, resentment, and decisions that you don't normally have.
   • One way to let go of jealousy is to stop comparing yourself to other people. Accept that at the moment you cannot change the decisions of your adored object. Stop dwelling on it and turn your attention to something else, such as yourself, your friends, or your hobby.
   • You can repeat to yourself: "The negative energy from my jealousy is not worth wasting my time. I am above that."
   • Jealousy can lead to the fact that you start to speak badly about your loved one or his partner. You can come into conflict with them because of your anger and jealousy. And this will entail many problems. By letting go of jealousy or ignoring it, you can avoid these situations.
2. 2 Accept that you and your crush may never be together. He can date your enemy because the two of you will never have anything. Just because you like this person does not mean that he will reciprocate you. But this is only an annoying part of life.One way to get rid of jealousy is to come to terms with the fact that you are probably not destined to be around the person you are in love with right now.
   • You can give yourself time to be sad so that you end up suffering because of this person. You cannot let go of everything at once. But in the long run, it’s better for you if you accept it and move on.
3. 3 Pay attention to other potential lovers. One way to get rid of jealousy when your adored person starts dating someone you dislike is to leave them behind. Unfortunately, chances are that this person doesn't like you. But this does not mean that something is wrong with you. Chances are, you two are just incompatible. Consider this as an opportunity to look for other potential lovers with whom things can work out better.
   • If you spend time jealous of the relationship between your adored person and your enemy, you might miss out on the opportunity to start dating someone really cool.
   • Take a look around and take a closer look at your social circle. Are there people with whom you have something in common or whom you find attractive? Some of them may become your future lover.
4. 4 Come to the realization that your loved one is not as wonderful as you think. If the object of your adoration begins to date your enemy, you do not need to be immediately jealous. Jealousy means that you are upset that someone has something that you do not have. And often from this you begin to think badly of yourself. Therefore, it is better to regard this as an opportunity to look at your love with a sober look. Take a real look at it. Objectively judge whether he is as good as you think.
   • If the object of your adoration meets with your enemy, he may not be the one who you might like. Why do you have a bad attitude towards your enemy? Is this a rude or arrogant person? Did he do something to hurt you? If your lover is dating such a person, he may not be very good himself.
5. 5 Consider there might be a reason why your adored person likes your enemy. Take a moment to step back from your jealousy and think about your loved one. Most likely, he has reason to love your enemy. Perhaps this person seems attractive to him, or they are united by common interests, or they enjoy spending time together. Just like you, the subject of your adoration has its own passions.
   • You don't need to think that something is wrong with you, just because your lover chose your enemy over you. Do not be jealous of the fact that your enemy got the object of your adoration, while you did not succeed. It's just that it's just not your person.
6. 6 Remember that relationships don't last forever. Just because your loved one is dating your enemy now does not mean that they will be together next month or even next week. If you cannot forget your love, you should be patient while the two are together. And when they break up, you will still be there.
   • Even if this couple has been dating for a long time, this still does not mean that they will be together forever. If you dislike your enemy, perhaps the object of your adoration will also understand that this person is not worth his attention.

Method 2 of 3: Avoiding destructive behavior

1. 1 Don't try to upset this relationship. If you are thinking about trying to break the union between your lover and your enemy, you should get these thoughts out of your head. By interfering in relationships, especially with bad intentions, you can lose all chances of a joint future with your adored object.
   • Trying to ruin a relationship will make you look pathetic and jealous, but you don't want people, and especially your enemy, to see you like that.
2. 2 Refrain from speaking badly about your enemy. If this person is dating the love of your life, you may be tempted to say bad things about them, complain about how awful they are, or even spread false gossip. This should be avoided. Negative attitude towards your enemy means that you are sinking to his level, and this does not make you a cutie. Better to behave with dignity and kindness. Or simply ignore your enemy.
   • Avoid the urge to approach your adored object and say, "You are dating the biggest fool (fool) on the planet! You should date someone nice and sweet, someone like me." Doing something like this will only turn your lover against yourself.
   • If you discuss your enemy with other people, these words may reach him or to the subject of your adoration. When he finds out that you are saying bad things about his partner, he may get angry with you.
3. 3 Ignore any teasing from your enemy. This person may be aware of your feelings for his partner, which will give him a reason to taunt you or flaunt a new relationship in front of your nose. If your foe is bullying or mistreating you, just ignore it. If you succumb to bullying, reacting to it or getting upset, it will only betray your jealousy and frustration to your enemy.
   • Resist the temptation to tease or taunt back. This will make you look pathetic and jealous. Plus it will bring you down to the same level.
4. 4 Be happy for your enemy. Turn negative emotions into positive ones. Instead of being jealous of the enemy for your adored object, rejoice for this couple. Be nice to them. Don't let your enemy think, even for a moment, that this relationship bothers you. This way he won't have the slightest reason to be angry with you, speak badly of you in the presence of your adored person, or laugh at you.
   • Every time you feel angry or frustrated that your enemy has got your love, try to think: "I'm glad (a) for her (him). It's good that he (a) is dating someone." This may not always work, but it will help train your brain to discard negative, jealous thoughts.
   • Another way to be happy for the enemy is to stop seeing him as an enemy. Start calling this person by name in your head. Please refer to him as "an acquaintance of mine / my acquaintance" or "a person I know". Changing the set of words in your head will help you let go of negative thoughts and be happy for this pair.
   • If you send positive vibes to the world, you will be happier. Jealousy and anger are not normal. Look at the situation with bOMore positive, it will be much easier for you to move on and let go of the jealousy.

Method 3 of 3: Focusing on ourselves

1. 1 Concentrate on yourself. One way to deal with jealousy is to stop focusing on what you don't have. In this case, do not get hung up on the fact that it is not you who are meeting with the object of your adoration. You better pay attention to yourself. Jealousy makes us feel negative about ourselves because we feel that we are not good enough or that we are missing something. You should take advantage of this time to do things that will improve the health of your spirit and mind.
   • Meditate if you feel a surge of jealousy. Sit in a quiet room and breathe deeply, concentrating on your inner world.
   • You can even conceptualize your feelings of jealousy and imagine letting go of it. Imagine as if it is flowing water, whirling in a whirlpool, or a whirlwind of wind flying away.
2. 2 Spend time with other people. Jealousy can make you angry and upset. You will want to sit in your room, listen to music and feel sad that the object of your adoration meets your enemy. Do not drown in your jealousy. Better go and spend time with your friends.Don't let jealousy and the person you are in love with control your actions or affect your happiness.
   • Chatting with friends will help you switch from thinking about this couple. You can forget about any jealousy by doing other interesting things.
   • If you spend time with your friends, chances are, you just won't have time for any feeling of jealousy.
3. 3 Constantly find something to do. A good way to avoid feeling jealous is not to think about it. Come up with things for yourself so that you can do something all the time. It could be something you've put off for a long time, or something you've never done before. Distract yourself from jealousy by trying new things.
   • For example, you may have wanted to take up a new hobby, start playing an instrument, or take a course.
   • You can also finally tackle books that you have long wanted to read, or films that you have long wanted to watch. Or go through a new video game.
   • Doing things that make you happy will help numb feelings of jealousy and generally bring you satisfaction.
4. 4 Think about your merits. The mere fact that the object of your adoration is meeting your enemy does not mean that something is wrong with you or that this person is better than you. People find others attractive for a variety of reasons. Don't be jealous about your loved one going out on dates with your enemy, and don't feel bad about yourself. Instead, remember that you are a good person with many virtues.
   • Perhaps you will feel the urge to compare yourself to your enemy, or you will think that something is wrong with you, because the object of your adoration did not choose you. Don't think so. Even if a loved one does not see how good you are, this does not mean that you are a “defective product”.
   • You can write a list of your merits. Watch it when you feel jealous.
   • For example, write that you have beautiful hair, expressive eyes, or dress well. Or maybe you are a good musician, artist or sportsman. Or you are a funny or caring person. Or good at math. Write down all the positive that you find in yourself.