Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Understanding and avoiding frustration in everyday life
• Part 2 of 3: Making posture changes to reduce frustration
• Part 3 of 3: Learning stress management techniques

Frustration is the emotional response to being faced with, or feeling that we are being confronted with, opposition. Frustration can come from within or from the world around us, and no one is immune from the negative impact of feeling defeated and unsupported, or that the world is not “on our side”. Fortunately, however, there are a number of things that can be done to reduce frustration in everyday life - change your attitude so that you become more accepting and realistic, understand and reconfigure the sources of frustration, and learn relaxation techniques to put you in a state where these other changes are possible.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Understanding and avoiding frustration in everyday life

1. Monitor your frustration. To see if you are experiencing frustration that is outside the normal range, you need to answer these questions. You may find that your frustration is extreme, and if so, seeking therapy or anger management courses can be a valuable opportunity.
   • Are you normally easily irritated?
   • Do you normally respond to frustration by blaming or lashing out at others?
   • Do you solve breakdowns with alcohol, drugs and overeating?
   • Do you often hurt other people's feelings when you express your frustration?
   • Do you tend to feel misunderstood after an expression of frustration has passed?
   • Do you often lose your temper halfway through a difficult day at work or school?
   • When you are disappointed, do you feel like life is impossible or that you are worthless?
2. Identify possible sources of frustration. Spend time thinking or writing about possible sources of frustration in your life. Be as specific as possible about what's causing your frustration - maybe it's a colleague or classmate you find frustrating, or even the way someone says or does something. Consider whether this source of frustration is something you want but can't control. For example, you cannot determine another person's point of view. But you can decide whether you want to involve this person in a conversation.
   • Doing this will allow you to understand and accept these things in the long run, which will help you to deal with them with patience.
   • In addition, you may discover that you can avoid certain frustrations entirely. For example, if you take a slow route with a lot of traffic from work to home, you can also opt for a slightly longer route that allows you to avoid the traffic congestion.
3. Approach the source of frustration carefully. Frustration is not always unjustified, and it can be a reasonable response to a very real and difficult problem or problems in your life. But frustration can build up if you believe that every problem has a clear solution, and that something is wrong with you or your life because you cannot achieve that solution. Instead of trying to solve a problem once and for all, try to focus on a constructive attitude. Understand why this exists in your life, and be open to addressing and learning from it.
   • By understanding that the source of frustration may not be very clear, the possibility remains open to you to deal with your frustration but not to act on it. For example, you might think twice before quitting your office job just because the printer keeps crashing.
4. Understand your natural rhythm. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to warding off frustration. It is often the case that we are confronted with something that we can handle just fine - just not now. Take time to notice your dynamic changes throughout the day. For example, you may find that in the mornings you have an excellent ability to deal with serious problems, but in the afternoons you feel too tired to handle bills or make big decisions. Avoid frustration by doing those things only when you know you have the energy to tackle the task.
5. Make a schedule for yourself. You then have a number of routines that you can use to ensure that your daily life is less affected by ad hoc decisions. This reduces frustration by reducing the amount of novelty you are regularly confronted with. If you are particularly frustrated with managing daily tasks, arriving late, or not having enough time in the day, try to stick to a schedule.
   • Use the "need to go" things, such as arriving at the office or picking up your child from school, as anchors. After that, you can do things like pay bills, run errands, and schedule a morning exercise program around these commitments.
   • Don't stress yourself out by scheduling "everything". Instead, form a few block hours on the day, usually unstructured, to make those periods run smoother. You will be less frustrated with minor inconveniences such as traffic or bank delays if you know that you have made an effort to make time for these duties.
6. Choose what you want to fight for. Frustration is also caused by trying to manipulate and change things that weren't important to begin with. When you are about to lose control, or want to change things to make things go a little more "the way you want," ask yourself if it matters tomorrow (or next week, or next year). Chances are that this is a situation that you can let go and forget.
   • You might ask yourself if you care enough about the frustrating situation. If it is not somehow connected to your deeper values, then you may just want to get your way. When it does, laugh at yourself and let it go.
7. refine your communication. When you are frustrated, you are not alone in bearing the burden of negative thoughts and judgments; the people around you are also at risk of falling victim to your mood. If you are in a conversation at the time of frustration, try to slow down and think through your words. Ask yourself if the first thing that comes to your mind, say "why are you so incompetent?", Is really helpful to say. Comments like these keep frustration growing and spreading.
   • Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and try to feel what their underlying thought is. Keep this in mind with an answer, choosing to be understanding rather than quick to judge.
   • For example, if you are frustrated that your roommates never do the dishes, approach them, wondering, without judgment, whether they are aware of this shared responsibility and whether there is something in the way that prevents them from being able to help. This will make the consultations much more peaceful than accusing them of being slackers (as your frustration is likely to tell you).
8. Ventilate frustration in a healthy way. If the tranquility of accepting is not easily achieved - and it takes time to cultivate - vent your frustration in a way that does not harm yourself or others. Shout into your pillow or hit it until you get tired. Sometimes you can handle frustration more effectively by showing your anger, rather than trying to ease it. So expect your frustration to pass by simply expressing it, rather than trying to manipulate or intervene in the frustrating situation itself.
   • Do this when the frustration continues, or when there is little you can do to change the frustrating situation. Make sure you are in a place where others will not be intimidated or scared when you speak out.

Part 2 of 3: Making posture changes to reduce frustration

1. Accept feelings of frustration. Frustration builds and molehills tend to become mountains when we become frustrated with the frustration itself. Whenever you feel frustrated, try to observe your frustration without judging it as "bad" or as feeling you "shouldn't" have. Instead of judging, you are better off accepting these feelings than trying to avoid or change them.Practicing acceptance means letting go of your instinctive responses to frustration and learning to accept what you are experiencing.
   • Once you accept your feelings of frustration, you have the self-control to know what action to take (if necessary) towards the source of frustration.
   • Trying to ignore your frustration will only make things worse. Then you get caught in a vicious circle where the source of the frustration is amplified and feels more and more important.
   • Tell yourself that taking out a frustration with yourself and others won't solve it, but will make you feel worse. Anger is like an adult tantrum - instead of providing solutions, it just lets others know that you are upset. This will not be enough when you will have to calm yourself.
2. Drop unrealistic expectations. We often get frustrated when we try to live up to unrealistic expectations that we have of ourselves and others, and tend to have a certain idea of ​​how to play out situations, and feel frustrated when reality doesn't show up again and again. will or can meet. Ask yourself if you are expecting too much or if you have perfectionist tendencies. This is likely the case if your frustration is linked to feeling abandoned or disappointed with the outcome.
   • Ask yourself if something is "good enough". Frustration usually resolves itself once you make the conscious decision to stop pushing things through. Instead of trying to control it, let situations find their way, remembering that you can only change “your” answers and not the behavior of “others”.
   • Then change your thinking from expectations to reality, focusing on the good events instead of things you expected would happen and didn't happen.
   • If there is a specific expectation that you hold onto, such as "the person I'm dating should always be more focused on me than work," remind yourself that this is your expectation that may not be realistic for everyone to meet. comply. After that, you can make the decision to either accept the person as they are or respond to your frustration and find another fish in the sea.
3. Recognize and change useless thinking. People who are very frustrated tend to swear or talk in very intense ways. This reflects exaggerated, catastrophic thoughts that don't quite match the reality of the situation. Try to replace these thoughts with rational thoughts that can help you limit and control feelings of frustration.
   • For example, if you are tempted to say "oh this is awful, now everything is ruined, I am doomed to fail" then block these thoughts by telling yourself "this is a frustrating and difficult experience that is upsetting me now but will not matter much later ".
   • As strong as it may feel true at times, remember that the world is not out to get you - in fact, the frustrating problem may even have arisen from the fact that the world seems to have little interest in your expectations and ideals . This can be something to celebrate when you realize that when things turn out differently, you have the opportunity to learn (or broaden yourself in unexpected ways).
4. Improve your mood with humor. The funny thing about frustration is that once you zoom out and get more perspective, it's just that… funny! While you are still in the process of accepting the situation as it is, and you may realize that the problem is not as important as it seems to you, take the time to laugh at yourself. Think about how funny it is that you were so concerned just before about something that now seems pretty insignificant.
5. Show gratitude. Since frustration usually causes you to see bad things in everything and focus on what isn't going your way, gratitude can be a great antidote. When you feel frustrated, focus on reminding yourself of everything you are grateful for about that person or different aspects of the situation you are in. This is a very powerful way to reduce frustration towards others you care about, because they are likely in your life because of good qualities that you already value.
   • For less intimate frustrations, such as a long line at the checkout, focus on how close this store is to home, what choice there is, and that you have access to healthy food to begin with.
   • To become kind, vividly remember the worst consequences of your frustration. If you want the grocery store to close, or never want to have contact with the person frustrating you again, you need to immediately start thinking about all the reasons why you don't really want any of those things to happen. These reasons are exactly those qualities that you are grateful for.
6. Find comfort in the little things. It's hard to get frustrated when you're amused by all the little things life offers. Because of how quickly frustration passes when we let go of control, you can enjoy nature, eat a delicious meal, or listen to relaxing music in the meantime. Use your favorite sources of distraction to lift your mood and navigate your way from the frustration to the appreciation of the moment.

Part 3 of 3: Learning stress management techniques

1. Take a deep breath. Instead of breathing from your chest - breathing with your shoulders pulling up - try to breathe from your diaphragm. Imagine your breath is coming from your gut and putting small pockets of air around your waist. Breathing this way regularly, and especially during times of stress, can reduce frustration by giving you the peace of mind to deal with the real source of frustration.
   • Picking up yoga, a practice dedicated to deep breathing and non-strenuous movement, can be a great way to make sure you are always able to relax your muscles and find your calm.
2. Move. A big factor in getting frustrated easily is having a lot of energy in your body, which is actually looking for a way out to be released. If your frustration is much greater than what it triggered, you may want to adopt an exercise routine. Regular exercise is helpful for improving your mood and regulating the energy in your body so that you can approach situations appropriately instead of with too much "tension" from all your pent-up passion for action.
   • Try cardiovascular exercise, such as running, swimming, or cycling, in addition to light weight lifting.
3. Use visualization. Visualization is a relaxation technique that involves the formation of mental images to induce feelings to move to a quiet, peaceful place. The key to calming visualization is to involve as many of your senses as possible (face, sound, touch, and smell). To do this you need to find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Your body should also be in a relaxed position as if you were meditating.
   • For example, if you imagine an open field, try to imagine feeling the grass beneath your feet, smelling lovely woods, and hearing the sound of birds flying from tree to tree.
4. Learn progressive muscle relaxation. This technique allows you to gradually tense and then relax each of your muscle groups. One way to do progressive muscle relaxation is to work your way up your body, tightening and relaxing all your muscles from your toes and feet to your head and neck. Tense a muscle group for about 5 seconds and then relax those muscles for about 30 seconds. Repeat this pattern until you've gone all the way up your body (or down, depending on your preference).
   • By doing this you will be able to recognize when your muscles are tense and when they are relaxed. This is an added bonus as you will be able to sense when you are feeling extra tense and take steps to either relax or otherwise arrange your activities.
5. Take a break from the computer. Much of our frustration in modern life comes from spending so much time interacting with machines that are incapable of responding empathetically to how we feel. If you are constantly on the computer because of your lifestyle, try to take breaks and reduce usage where possible.
   • Particularly when it comes to socialization, in-person rather than online communication can make communication easier in comparison and gratitude virtually effortless. Balance your busy social media life with some old-fashioned get-together.
6. Plan I time in. Another source of frustration that can become self-evident is not having enough time for yourself. At the very least, scheduling some time for yourself will give you a chance to learn and use relaxation techniques. Check your calendar and try to find a time period where you can be busy for yourself. A few hours is ideal. Spend this time pursuing activities that energize you - things you don't often have the opportunity to do during a normal work week.
   • If you have any artistic or creative hobbies, such as drawing, sculpting, making music, or cooking, try to devote this time to those activities. Pursuing creativity helps you to reconnect with yourself more strongly.