Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with your emotions
• Method 2 of 3: Respond to the exclusion
• Method 3 of 3: Letting go

You can be left out at school, at work, or even by people you thought were your friends. Being social beings it is a disturbing experience to be left out. You may feel sad, confused, or even angry if you are left out, but these feelings will disappear. There are a number of things you can do to deal with your emotions, respond to the situation, and let go of being left out.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with your emotions

1. Consider the possibility that it was a mistake. People do not always consciously exclude others. Sometimes it just happens and it's not a conscious effort to make you feel bad.
   • For example, you might be locked out because there was a missed communication, such as a lost letter or an unsent text message. You could also be accidentally left out because the person didn't think clearly and now deeply regrets not thinking about you.
2. Acknowledge your emotions. Being left out can cause you to experience many different negative emotions. For example, you may feel sad at first and then get angry and jealous. These emotions are normal, but they will pass. Instead of denying your emotions, give yourself some time to feel them.
3. Talk to someone about how you feel. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you can be helpful. Talk to a parent, close friend, or someone you know you can trust. Explain what happened and be honest about how you feel.
   • The person you are talking to about your feelings may be able to tell you about their own experience of being left out and may even have advice on how to deal with the situation.
   • If being left out is an ongoing problem, or if you are experiencing psychological problems as a result, you may want to consider talking to a therapist. If you are still in school, you can also talk to a school counselor. If you are no longer in school, you may want to seek help from a therapist.
4. Write about your emotions. Grief counseling has a wide variety of physical and emotional health benefits. It can help you better understand your feelings, reduce stress, and improve your problem-solving ability.
   • Use a journal or notebook to help you deal with feeling left out and write in it for a few minutes every day. Your first writing may be about being left out. You could describe what happened and the feelings you had with it.

Method 2 of 3: Respond to the exclusion

1. Try to have compassion for those who shut you out. While it hurts to be left out, it can help you think about what's going on with the people who have left you out. Chances are, their decision to let you out says more about them and their insecurities than it does about you.
   • People who exclude others on purpose are likely to have a number of insecurities and prejudices that interfere with their ability to interact with certain people in a friendly manner.
   • People who exclude others also want to be in control, and they can lock you out because they see you as a threat to that control.
2. Put negative thoughts in a different frame. Negative thinking is common when something bad happens, like being left out. However, you can challenge and re-frame your negative thoughts to make you feel better.
   • For example, suppose after being locked out you find yourself thinking, "Nobody likes me!" Of course this thought is neither true nor realistic. It's an overreaction. To put this thought in a different frame, make it something like, "I am a good person and a good friend." The people who really matter in my life enjoy spending time with me. "
3. Pretend you're not upset in front of the outfitter (s). If the exclusion was intentional, then it is better to avoid showing your emotions to those who excluded you. Bullies often use lockout to scare people, so even if you're upset about being locked out, try not to show it anyway. You may only be playing into the hands of the bully by showing that you are upset about the exclusion. Instead, pretend you don't care.
   • For example, if you weren't invited to a party or other social event on the weekend, try telling someone about something fun you did with your family. If someone mentions the party, say something like, "It sounds like you had fun. That is amazing! I didn't know about it, but I was too busy anyway. What else have you done this weekend? "
4. If necessary, ask what happened. If you think you have been accidentally locked out or if you are confused about why you have been locked out, you might want to consider talking to the person or people who left you out. You might discover it was a mistake, or you might have the opportunity to point out to the person that his or her behavior is inappropriate.
   • If you think it was a mistake, try something like, "I think something went wrong with your birthday invitations." I haven't received an invitation yet. "
   • If you think you were not invited on purpose, say something like, "I noticed that I was not invited to your party. It's your party, so you have the right to invite whoever you want, but I'm just curious why I wasn't invited. "

Method 3 of 3: Letting go

1. Forgive the people who shut you out. Forgiveness is more about you than about other people. Holding a grudge against people who have hurt your feelings is detrimental to your own well-being. Therefore, it is good for your happiness and well-being to forgive the people who have hurt you, even if they don't apologize to you.
   • If necessary, write a letter to the person without sending them. In the letter, state how you feel and explain that you forgive the person just to make yourself feel better.
2. Look elsewhere for connection. If a group of people has regularly shut you out, it may be time to start looking for new friends. True friends don't shut you out. Find people who appreciate you for who you are and who aren't doing things to hurt your feelings, such as locking you out.
   • Become a member of a certain association or club, or join an after-school sports team, to meet people who share your interests.
3. Invite people to do things together. Another way to avoid being left out is to take the initiative and invite people to do things together. Meet up with friends at the mall or go to the movies on the weekend. You can also throw a party and invite everyone, including those who have left you out in the past, if necessary.
4. Enjoy being alone. It's hard when you're left out, but sometimes it's a luxury to have time to yourself, so just try and enjoy it.If you are left out and you have nothing else to do, do things you really want to do on your own.
   • For example, you can read that one book you were curious about, draw a self-portrait, take a long bubble bath or watch one of your favorite movies.