Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Knowing the profile of a child molester
• Part 2 of 2: Protecting the child from child molesters
• Warnings

All parents want to protect their kids from child molesters, but how can you keep your kids safe if you don't know how to spot one? Anyone could be a child molester or a pedophile, and it is therefore difficult to identify one - especially since most child molesters or pedophiles are initially trusted by the children they abuse. Read on to learn what behaviors and traits are suspicious, what situations to avoid, and how to deter child abusers from targeting your child. Remember that not all pedophiles are child molesters, and that thinking about children is not the same as acting on those thoughts. In addition not anyone who can deal better with children than with adults is by definition a pedophile. Falsely accusing someone of pedophilia can cause severe depression and social anxiety disorders.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Knowing the profile of a child molester

1. Know that any adult could be a child molester. There is not one physical trait, appearance, occupation, or personality type common to all child abusers. Child molesters can be of any gender or race, and their religious preferences, professions, and hobbies are as diverse as anyone else's. A child molester can be charming, loving, and completely good-natured, yet harbor lewd thoughts that he / she can hide well. This means that you can never rule out in advance that someone is a child molester.
2. Know that most child molesters know about the children they abuse. Thirty percent of the children who have been abused have been abused by a family member. Sixty percent of the abused children were abused by an adult they knew but who was not related. That means that only ten percent of the children who have been sexually abused have been abused by a complete stranger.
   • In most cases, the child molester turns out to be someone the child knows through school or some other activity. Consider, for example, a neighbor or wife, a teacher, a trainer, a member of the religious community, a music instructor or a babysitter.
   • Family members such as mothers, fathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, stepparents, and the like could also be child molesters.
3. Understand common characteristics of child molesters. While anyone could be a child molester, most of them are men - regardless of whether the victims are boys or girls. Many sex offenders have their own history of abuse, either physical or sexual.
   • Some of them also have mental disorders, such as mood or personality disorders.
   • The chance that heterosexual men are child abusers is just as likely as for gay men. The idea that gay men are more likely to abuse children is an outright myth.
   • Female child molesters are more likely to abuse boys than girls.
4. Be aware of common behaviors that child abusers demonstrate. Pedophilic child abusers often do not show as much interest in adults as they do in children. They could pursue a profession that would allow them to spend a lot of time with children of a certain age group, or think of other ways in which they could interact with children — such as acting as a trainer, babysitter, or helpful neighbor.
   • Child molesters tend to treat children as if they were adults, or to talk about children as if they were adults. They can refer to children in the same way that they would refer to an adult friend or loved one.
   • Pedophilic child abusers often say that they love all children, or that they feel that they are still a child themselves.
5. Watch for signs of "grooming." The term "grooming" refers to the process that child molesters take to gain the trust of a child, and sometimes the trust of parents. Over the course of a few months or even years, the child molester may become a trusted family friend, offer to babysit, take the child to the store or on trips, or otherwise spend time with the child. Many child abusers do not start the abuse until they have gained trust. Some may use other people's opinions of them to reinforce their trustworthiness so that they can take children to the store and similar activities.
   • Child abusers look for children who are vulnerable to their tactics because those children lack emotional support or do not receive enough attention at home. The child molesters can also try to convince the parents that their children are safe with him / her and that they will not go far away. The child molester will try to play a role as a “parent” for the child.
   • Some child molesters prey on children of single parents who cannot supervise as much, or try to convince those parents that they are good enough to babysit without their supervision.
   • Child abusers usually use a variety of games, tricks, activities and language to gain the child's trust and / or mislead the child. These include: secrets (secrets are valuable to children because they are seen as something “grown up” and as a source of power), sexually explicit games, kissing, touching, caressing, sexually suggestive behavior, exposure to pornographic material, coercion, bribery, flattery and worst of all love and affection. Be aware that these tactics are ultimately designed to isolate and confuse the child.

Part 2 of 2: Protecting the child from child molesters

1. Supervise your child's extracurricular activities. Being as involved in your child's life as possible is the best way to protect your child from child molesters. Child abusers will look for vulnerable children who do not receive as much attention from their parents, or will try to convince the parents that they themselves are not a danger to the child. Watch your kids' soccer games, plays, rehearsals, and the like. Go on field trips and field trips as a companion and try to get to know the adults in your child's life. Make it clear that you are a committed and present parent.
   • If you are unable to attend a particular excursion or event, make sure that there are two adults with whom you know well.
   • Don't leave your child alone with adults you don't know well. Even family members can be a threat. It is important to be the widest possible presence in your child's life.
2. Install a hidden camera if you hire a babysitter. There will be times when you are unable to be present. Before those times, make sure that other measures are taken to make sure the child is safe. Install a hidden camera in your home so that inappropriate activity can be detected. For the safety of your child, you should take precautions - no matter how well you think you know someone.
3. Teach your kids how to stay safe online. Teach your children that child molesters often pretend to be children or teenagers to lure children onto the Internet. Monitor your child's internet usage and have restrictions on his / her “chat time”. Regularly talk to your child about who he / she is communicating with online.
   • Make sure your child knows that he / she should never send photos to people he / she has met online, and that he / she should never meet up with people he / she speaks to online.
   • Note that children are often very secretive about their behavior online, especially when they are encouraged by others to keep secrets. So it is important that you stay alert and involved in the child's online activity.
4. Make sure your child feels emotionally supported.
   • Child molesters often ask children to keep their "relationship" a secret.
   • Make sure your kids understand that if someone has asked them to keep a secret, it's not because the kids will get in trouble. Make sure they understand that whoever asked them to keep a secret knows that what they are doing to them is wrong.
   • Since children who don't receive much attention are especially vulnerable to sex offenders, make sure you spend a lot of time with your children. You need to make sure that the child feels supported and loved. Take the time to talk to your child every day and work to forge an open relationship of trust.
   • Show an interest in all the activities your child participates in, including school work, extracurricular activities, hobbies and interests.
   • Let your child know that he / she can tell you anything and that you are always willing to talk to him / her.
5. Teach your kids to recognize inappropriate touch. Many parents use the "good touch, bad touch, secret touch" method for this. In this method, you teach the child that there are appropriate touches (such as a pat on the shoulder or a high five), unwanted or “bad” touches (such as a slap or kick), and secret touch (touches that the child is said to be secret to keep). Use this or another method to teach your child that some of the touches are wrong, and that he / she should tell you immediately if these touches occur.
   • Teach your child that no one is allowed to touch their intimate area. Many parents define the intimate area as the area covered by swimsuits. Children should also know that adults should not ask them to touch their own or someone else's intimate area.
   • Tell your child to say "no" and walk away if someone tries to touch him / her in the intimate area.
   • Tell your child to come to you immediately if someone touches him / her in the wrong way.
6. Recognize when something seems to be wrong with your child. Find out what's going on if you notice that your child is behaving differently than usual. If you regularly ask your child about his / her day, and also ask if there has been “good”, “bad” or “secret touches”, then the lines of communication will be well open. Do not ignore what your child tells you about inappropriate touching, or if he / she indicates that he / she does not trust an adult. First of all, trust your child.
   • Do not dismiss your child's claims because the adult in question is a valued member of the community, or if he / she does not seem capable of such things. That is exactly what the child abuser wants.
   • Protecting your child and paying attention is the most important thing you can do. Map out his / her wants and needs, talk to him / her, and just try to be the best parent possible for him / her. Above all, remember: if you don't pay attention to your child, someone else will do it for you.
   • Know that children should have had sex education from their parents around the age of 12, and should already know exactly what everything is and is called. This prevents a pedophile teacher / friend from running off and explaining everything in a completely different way. Make sure your child knows everything he / she should know before being taught different meanings of words or that it is completely okay to lick his / her teacher's cheek.
   • If the child is very young or under fourteen, he / she may not see a difference between a grumpy teacher giving extra homework and a teacher acting strangely and wanting a kiss on his / her cheek before the child does it. leaves locally. They are both "extremely annoying". So know that something could be wrong if your child tells vague stories about teachers making sex jokes, touching him / her, being "annoying" and / or asking all "private things".
   • As soon as the child brings up that there is a teacher who is acting strangely or asks for personal information / photos / things about / from siblings, you should tell him / her how he / she should respond. Be realistic about this! There is no point in telling your kids to yell loudly if he / she touches them on the shoulder, or to slap his / her hand and yell if he / she pats them on the back. They will not hit the teacher, especially if they are "groomed" and the teacher says he / she just wants to help. Make sure your children make it clear to him / her that they told their parents what happened and that they were not particularly happy about it. Or give the child an envelope with a letter stating: "Don't touch my son / daughter", with your signature underneath. Make sure your child gives him / her that envelope if the teacher touches him / her in a bad place and doesn't stop when asked. (Think about this carefully. It will only have a positive effect if you are one hundred percent sure that he / she is breaking boundaries and really going too far. With an impulsive hand on the shoulder, he / she naturally does.)

Warnings

• Clarification of terms: A pedophile is someone who is primarily attracted to children who are not yet sexually mature (a common misconception in the media is that a pedophile is someone who is attracted to someone who is not yet of age, the definition being extended and includes teenagers - which is incorrect). A hebephile is someone who is primarily attracted to young to mid-teens, and an ephebophile is someone who is attracted to adolescents. A child molester is, of course, someone who abuses a child, regardless of sexual attraction or preferences.
• Know that a child becomes an easy target for the child molester if the child appears particularly isolated or upset. So ask your children about their day, their life at school and get to know their boyfriends and girlfriends. If they don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, try to change that. The strength of the group is extremely important and in many cases it can save their lives if you happen to be not around.
• There is no need to show empathy for child abusers; only for the people who are disadvantaged by them.
• Child sexual abuse can affect the child's mental health well into adulthood with disorders such as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), borderline personality disorder, and DID (disassociative identity disorder).