Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Act normally
• Method 2 of 3: Look normal
• Method 3 of 3: Practice being normal
• Tips
• Warnings

As a teenager, there is no one way to be normal. How you can be normal depends on your interests, what you like, and what you don't like. All teenagers go through a variety of different emotions and experiences: you can avoid or visit groups, feel excluded or not at all, get bored or have fun, and you also have to deal with physical changes. You may have a deep desire to belong to a particular group, to be accepted by your peers, or by people who have similar interests to you, or people who are at your level. Even the self-proclaimed crazy people who celebrate their individuality have like-minded friends. It is normal to feel that you are not normal. We all want to belong, and that does not necessarily mean that you are a brainless robot with an unprecedented urge to conform. Embrace your inner craziness and try to become the most real version of yourself. Which is normal. Go to Step 1 for more information.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Act normally

1. Spend time with people who participate in the “positive activities” you want to do. It's getting easier to spend too much time alone. Now, of course, a little seclusion doesn't hurt, but the hermits also have to go out to play, work and eat. In order to behave normally and well adjusted (i.e. not too different), it is important to spend time with others, learning from them and socializing with them. If you do that, you can better and more easily become directly involved with others. Being around different people, be it in a cafe, restaurant, or movie theater, can help you get to know others. It will make you feel less isolated. This will make you feel better about yourself, gain more experience in opening up yourself, and thus get along better with other people.
   • Go to places where you are likely to meet like-minded people. Do you like comic books? Then don't buy them online anymore, but go to the comic book store. Are you artsy? Then follow a course, a workshop, or go to the museum. Take a class that you find interesting and talk to your classmates about what you are doing / learning. Join a choir or take music lessons.
   • Online friendships only exist in a gray area. They are often “real”, but our online interaction differs greatly from in-person interaction. Try to maintain personal contact at least as often (preferably more) as online.
2. Get happier by not to deal with people who engage in negative, too wild, or crazy things. These types of people often end up in unwanted and difficult situations. Try not to get too close to hateful, evil, destructive, or otherwise problematic people.
   • You can help others by doing (making or repairing) something you want when they ask for your support or opinion.
   • Don't look for trouble. Let it look you up (and try not to burn your fingers).
3. Pay attention to the body language of others. When you are around other people, pay attention to the directions they give about appropriate behavior. Often people try to show you how you should behave. Or at least they try to show what “normal” behavior entails.
   • If you feel comfortable doing so, mirror the behavior of others. If you're in the library and everyone is quiet, serious, and hard at work, then it probably isn't the right time to dance or tell jokes. If everyone is dancing at the prom, it may be normal to dance. But it's not necessary. In this situation it is both normal.
   • If the person next to you in the cafeteria keeps making eye contact with you and smiling, he / she is probably in need of a chat. If you are open to that, start a conversation. Try to be kind. People available for interaction often have an open posture: shoulders back, head held high, and not overly relaxed. Not being overly relaxed here means that you don't come across as tired, sleepy, shy or cranky. Crossing your arms and legs often indicates that you want to be left alone, that you don't feel like being friendly. Learn to recognize that in others and to prevent it yourself.
   • If people are taciturn or reluctant to you — head down, arms folded — they probably don't feel like talking. If you persist, they may start to feel uncomfortable. Learn to recognize this and stop the conversation or interaction. Give them some space.
4. Be a good listener and wait your turn to speak. When you are talking to someone or a group, try to strike a balance between speaking and listening. You don't have to have the biggest mouth to stand out; it is equally important to listen carefully and actively. Look at the person speaking, nod your head to indicate that you are listening, and then really listen to what is being said.
   • Stick to the topic. If everyone in the group tells stories about the weekend, tell a story about what you did (if you did something). It would be strange if you jumped from one subject to another, saying something like, “I saw my dad eat sour liverwurst. He often eats crazy things. ” That has nothing to do with your weekend, hopefully. Don't try to hijack and kidnap the conversation. If you do, you can expect to be complained about it. You can of course change the subject, but only do so when the time is right.
   • Listening does not mean that you are going to look around the room, or that you are going to think about what to say when there is a hole. Listening means that you listen actively and that you respond kindly to what the other person has to say. Accept what the other has to say, even if you've heard it before. When he / she has finished, say, "Hey, yes [indeed / that's true] - have / have you ever _____ [been here / done this]?"
5. Set personal boundaries. A teenager is an individual. An individual who wants to be considered an adult and wants to have more experience than his peers. It can therefore be tempting to let yourself be persuaded to do things that you are not actually ready for, or even not even interested in. Smoking, pushing, experimenting with the stresses of dates (if the parents allow it), holding hands, hugging, kissing, finding your approach to love, expressing your new state as a teenager, and so on, and so on. All normal teens have to deal with these things, and there is no absolute way to deal with them. You should always keep in mind that whatever you choose is normal for you. Keep your own standards, values ​​and beliefs high on the agenda, and accept the responsibility and consequences of your behavior and actions. In any kind of relationship. It's your life. Make your choices, which are good for you, which are dear to you, set your own boundaries, stay close to yourself.
   • The closer you set your everyday limits to your current norms and values, and widely accepted “truths”, the faster you can adapt in your own way. This way you can prevent yourself from leaving the overwhelmingly crazy things, or just boring things, for what they are in the interaction with others. Keep it real, keep it simple. That is a lot easier than deviating from the right path, or jumping into the (too) deep.
   • Wanting to belong is normal. Sometimes it also seems like you have to engage in risky behavior to get people to respect you. Just know that this is undermining your own personality and beliefs. If you are not true to yourself, people will not respect (or even notice) you for who you are.
   • Stay cool. Another limit you can set for yourself is secrecy. It's okay to keep some things to yourself. It's almost too easy to post every event, every accomplishment, every frustration, every failure, or any kind of happiness on Facebook. But is that really necessary?
6. Turn your room into a great retreat. As a teenager, nothing is more important than having your own place. Decorate your room as unique as you want, full of posters or candles, records, painting, or whatever. Decorate your room all by yourself. Paint the walls however you want, and fill your room with things you like to look at. Take the time to visualize what your ideal room would look like. Ask your parents for permission to set it up to your liking.
   • If you don't have your own room, find a place where you enjoy spending time. Take a walk through the garden, or the park. Look for a nice bench or a nice place by the window in the library. Or spend time in your friends' man cave. Try to find a place where you can relax and where you have the space.

Method 2 of 3: Look normal

1. Wear clothing that fits / looks good on you. There are no normal clothes. Fashion is always changing, and it can be difficult to keep up with the new fashion. Most importantly, however, is that your clothes are clean and that your clothes are comfortable. Wear the clothes you feel comfortable in and clothes you can afford. Just try to make sure your clothes are as flattering as possible.
   • Skinny jeans and crop tops may be in, but just because they are “popular” or “normal” doesn't mean they look good on you. Wear clothes that do your body justice and that make you feel comfortable. Don't wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable.
   • Don't be afraid to have your own style. If you think soccer jerseys and military pants go well together, wear it. If you'd rather wear a jacket and a bow, fine. As long as you make sure your clothes are clean and fit properly, you're well on your way.
2. Learn about contemporary fashion. It is wise to look at what the other children are wearing. Not because you have to adapt your style to it, but to learn how people dress these days. If you then decide to go in a different direction, at least you know what you are doing. Then you don't wear your grandfather's old pants and his golf shoes because you think that's normal.
   • You don't necessarily have to go to expensive stores to dress normally. Cheaper stores such as Zeeman and Hema also often have special offers, and often also have reasonably fashionable items of clothing in their range. You can also check the thrift store for affordable, clean clothes in your size.
   • Especially in high school it may seem that everyone is only concerned with the latest “must haves”. These are often expensive, and will also be out in a few months. So don't worry about that.
3. Take care of yourself. If you want to look normal, then you don't have to overdo your personal care at all. But you have to do your best for it. Make sure you are clean and that your body is tidying up properly. Knowing that you look your best will work wonders for your confidence.
   • Brush and floss your teeth. Good oral care will always make your smile look friendly and good. Healthy teeth also ensure self-confidence.
   • Shower at least every other day and every day after exercising. Wash your hair with shampoo and clean your body with soap.
   • Keep your nails short and clean. Normal boys and girls also like to paint their nails sometimes. And that is of course possible if you wish. Only remove the nail polish when it starts to leaf.
   • Discuss with your parents when it is appropriate to start wearing makeup, if you wish. If you are going to use makeup, apply a little bit of makeup to accentuate your natural beauty.
4. Do your hair and keep it clean. Your hair is just as important as other body parts, and you should do your best to keep it clean and healthy. Wash your hair every 2-3 days to keep it strong and shiny. Both boys and girls should regularly comb / brush their hair to prevent tangling.
   • If you use hair care products, don't overdo it. A little bit of mousse, gel or hairspray is usually more than enough. Opt for a natural look that highlights your normal hair.
   • Experiment with new haircut. Go for a shaved head, or grow it like a rock guitarist. Paint it red. Whatever. As a teenager, you can start experimenting with your personality and identity. Your hair will always grow back, don't worry.
5. Take care of your body. When you are young, it sometimes seems like you are invincible. You can eat as much as you want, you can't sleep for nights without being bothered by it, and you recover from injuries super fast. Unfortunately, it will not stay that way forever. It is important to develop good habits so that your teenage years will be as healthy as possible.
   • Pay attention to what and how much you eat. Most teens have super fast digestion, because of the growth spurts. This means that you can consume lots of high-calorie foods without gaining even a pound, especially if you are physically active and exercise. If that fast digestion slows down, or if you stop exercising, chances are that you will gain a lot very quickly. It is important to learn to enjoy physical activity as young as possible. This allows you to develop good habits that will keep you healthy in the long run.
   • You don't have to be an athlete to enjoy sports. If you love basketball but don't want to join a club, you can hang a basket and throw some balls. Nobody cares that you miss more than score. If you don't like competitive sports, go for a walk through the woods. Enjoy nature. You may enjoy rock climbing or other solo adventures.

Method 3 of 3: Practice being normal

1. Find hobbies that help you be normal. As a teenager, you should have hobbies and interests that keep you engaged and engaged. School is probably not enough. Try to find after-school hobbies that you enjoy and in which you can expend your energy. Any extracurricular activities can connect you with peers. This way you can get to know new people without having to do anything.
   • Many teenagers take sports very seriously. Check your place of residence to see if there are any interesting options available. Maybe there is a football club, a tennis club, a basketball club, or maybe a fencing club, you never know.
   • Look for other clubs. You don't necessarily have to exercise to socialize. Maybe there is a book club or a chess club. Perhaps there is a club that regularly goes to the museum or does voluntary work.
   • Try to make music. This can be done in an orchestra, in a brass band, or you can start your own band. Music can be a great outlet for teens. Research has shown that teenagers who play music can learn more effectively. In addition, they have fun while making music and develop friendships.
2. Broaden your world view. As you get older it is important to learn as much as possible about other people. Try to develop your empathy and put it into practice. Children only think of themselves, and adults are able to think less selfishly. Teenagers are pretty much in between. It can be tricky.
   • Exchange programs are an excellent and effective experience for many teens. If the opportunity is available, it can be an educational experience. A side job is also an important step in growing up. For example, learn how to save money. Find a job for the summer holidays, or during the weekend.
   • Read as much as you can and about as many different things as possible. You can travel in the wonderful world of world literature. Or delve into sci-fi, fantasy, or whatever you like. Occasionally read things that challenge you, and sometimes slightly lighter things. Always read. Read everything.
3. Try different ways to express yourself. As a teenager, it's time to experiment and try new identities until you find the right one for you. Within a year you may want to become a doctor, football player, poet, painter, economist, or priest. So to speak. That's okay! That is normal!
   • Venture into the world of goths. Many teens find support in dark clothing and the eerie elements of goth. Although this may seem “strange” it is completely normal.
   • Embrace your inner athlete. Athletes take sports very seriously. See if that suits you too.
   • Try to be an artsy kid. Take painting lessons or immerse yourself in the basics of the art world. See if you want to spend your days in a studio. Do you have what it takes to create masterpieces?
4. Look for like-minded people. Find a community of people you like and people who like you too. Get to know them well. Interact with them both in and out of school. Support each other, and lift each other up. Challenge each other.
   • Rather forge some real friendships than a bunch of pointless ones. It's no use 800 Facebook friends who you can't even have a conversation with in real life.
   • On the other hand, it's also good to get to know a lot of people with whom you don't necessarily have anything in common. If you're a sportswoman, hang out with the artsy kids. See what you do have in common. Try to put together as diverse a group of friends as possible.
5. Make time for school and work. It's important to have fun, but it's also important to take your responsibilities seriously. Allow plenty of time in your busy teen schedule to do your homework and do the best you can. Even if you already know what you want to do later, and it has nothing to do with rocket science, do your best. Put your best foot forward. You will never know how much regret you can get for all those technique classes you didn't give your best for.
   • Make sure to take good notes. Taking notes forces you to pay close attention. It will improve your memory, and it will help you learn for your next test.
   • Do your homework. Don't get rid of it with a twist. Believe it or not, it really helps you. Pay attention in class, and ask questions to keep you focused. Respect your teachers, and try to make the most of it.
6. Think a little about the future. Where do you want to achieve in ten years? And in twenty? What do you want to do with your life? These are tough questions for everyone, awkward questions for most, especially teenagers. But it is something that you will have to deal with at some point. The more you struggle with it, the better you can prepare for the teenage years. And, the more normal you will be. After all, it's something everyone struggles with on the road to adulthood.
   • If you want to study, start looking for possible studies, schools, and universities. Look for a place where you will find a lot of people who are just like you and who offer courses that are a good fit for you. Many teens who struggle to make friends in high school are thriving in higher education.
   • It's also normal, and perfectly fine, to have no idea what you want to do with your life. Don't worry too much about it. It's completely normal. When people ask you about it, tell them that you're still trying to get through your teenage years.

Tips

• Learn to say no! (For example, say "No" if someone offers you a drink or a cigarette). Smoking will not make you appear normal or cool. It just stops non-smokers from wanting to hang out with you. If you are under 18 it is also punishable and you can get cancer. Drinking is also illegal under the age of 18. Weed is something for hippies, and not cool at all. So don't start with it.)
• Find ways to have fun with your friends. The way in which you do this differs per person. Skaters can do crazy tricks and laugh. Race your horse or play paintball. There is something for everyone. You can start playing computer games like The Sims, but don't overdo it. Watch what you want to watch, and listen to the music that sounds good to you.
• Be an individual. Have your own views, but don't immediately exclude those of others.
• Don't feel obliged to stick to one style. Wear what you want, don't take peer pressure into account. Listen to the music you like yourself, no matter what your friends think about it. Be yourself!

Warnings

• Don't do things that make you uncomfortable. If you feel pressure to do something that you are actually uncomfortable with, don't do it. Regret is no fun, especially for teenagers.
• Don't spend all of your free time in your room, on social media, or in video games. Go outside and get some fresh air. Exercise. You will get fat if you don't.
• The definition of normal is relative. Be aware of cultural differences.