Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Noticing emotional changes
• Part 2 of 4: Noticing changes in its appearance
• Part 3 of 4: Noticing behavioral changes
• Part 4 of 4: Dealing with his crisis
• Tips

If the guy in your life is between the ages of 40 and 60 and is sometimes showing some strange behavior, he may well be experiencing a midlife crisis. To recognize this, we're going to talk about emotional changes, such as being angry or curt, behavioral changes, such as looking for excessive sensations, and changes in appearance, from a new wardrobe to cosmetic surgery. In addition, we are going to talk about dealing with it, as it affects not only your husband, but you as well. To maintain your sanity and possibly your relationship, start at Step 1 below.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Noticing emotional changes

1. Check to see if the man in your life is feeling a little down. Someone suffering from a midlife crisis will generally feel down or empty for long periods of time without ceasing. Most important here is the term "extended time" - everyone has mood swings that come and go from time to time. A midlife crisis can be present when the general attitude seems down and discouraged for no apparent reason.
   • Most mental health experts are reluctant to commit to the idea of ​​a midlife crisis unless symptoms have lasted for about six months. In addition, it is important that there should be no real reason for the grief. If a loved one has died or the man is struggling with depression on a regular basis, it may not be a sign of a midlife crisis.
2. Notice how patient he is. A man going through this period will often become enraged about little things that have no value. He can have violent outbursts towards family and friends that are completely out of step with his normal temperament. This can flare up without warning and go out like a candle.
   • Again, being irritable sometimes isn't the same thing. Men also suffer from their hormones! This is only a clue if it's a constant, prevailing change that seems to have taken over the man you once knew. The mood is not one that comes and goes; it seems to stay there.
3. Talk to him about the distant feelings. A man ravaged by a midlife crisis may show common symptoms of depression. He no longer feels connected, loses interest in things he otherwise enjoyed, and may even separate himself from you, his friends, or at work. This may be completely clear to you or is something you may need to dig into. Some people, and men in particular, are very good at hiding the emotions they are fighting against.
   • If you are not sure, start on this topic. Tell them that you've noticed that he doesn't seem to like this or that anymore, or that he is distant from you. Does he know why? Does this seem to be correct? Has he noticed a change in his own personality?
4. Ask him if he is thinking about his own mortality. Men who go through midlife crises often become existential. They constantly think about their own mortality and the meaning - or nonsense - of life. Is this a recurring theme in your conversations? Have you noticed an attitude that "nothing matters anymore"? If so, it could be the midlife crisis that is stirring.
   • After all, this is exactly what a midlife crisis is all about. You hit the actual center of your life (probably) and you look at it from a distance and get a good, hard, thorough look at it. This man is plagued by how he has lived and whether it is good enough. This can be quite a mental battle he goes through if he's unhappy with his life so far.
5. Talk about his spiritual beliefs. Men who were once religious can stop being religious during their midlife crisis. He may begin to question his beliefs that once seemed determined and unmoved. His entire belief system can be turned upside down.
   • It works the other way too. He can to start by looking for his spirituality, for the first time in his entire life. New wave religious groups or sects may actually begin to attract him. He can also strengthen ties with a faith he once became a part of.
6. Listen to what your feeling tells you about your relationship. Does he seem deeply dissatisfied? Are you less intimate, both emotionally and physically? Do you talk less, make fewer plans, have sex less often, and have you generally become somewhat distant from each other? Of course, this can happen without a crisis being the culprit, but if the other clues are present, then you can pinpoint his midlife crisis as the culprit. However, this is something that can and will pass if you are willing to keep it up.
   • The important thing here is that you don't take your husband's attitude personally; this has nothing to do with you. He doesn't suddenly love you less or find his life any less valuable, and it's not that you make him unhappy - he's just struggling with a state of mind that makes him question everything.

Part 2 of 4: Noticing changes in its appearance

1. Watch for changes in body weight. A man in a midlife crisis can lose weight or gain weight. This is of course accompanied by changes in eating habits and exercise. This seems to come on suddenly rather than be a gradual weight loss or gain, as most of us experience several times.
   • Some men will put on a lot of weight, stuff themselves with junk food and lead a sedentary lifestyle. Others will lose weight, lose interest in food, and even crash-diet or over-exercise. In certain cases, both are unhealthy.
2. Notice if he obsesses over his appearance. It's possible that a stray gray nose hair is responsible for the start of your husband's midlife crisis. If he has an awakening revelation that he is getting old, he may take steps to keep looking and staying young, no matter how ridiculous that may be. He can try rejuvenation regimens that range from a shelf full of ointments or cosmetics, or even plastic surgery.
   • A change of clothes can also occur. Suddenly, it looks like he ransacked your son's closet in a desperate attempt to look cool. It sounds terribly embarrassing, but this is nothing compared to plastic surgery.
3. He will sometimes look in the mirror and not recognize himself. Men who are in a midlife crisis realize that they often no longer recognize themselves. In their minds, they are still that social man of 25 with a full head of hair and a tanned, radiant complexion. One day they wake up and the hair seems to have moved to the nose and ears, and that tanned, glowing skin has moved a few inches south.
   • Imagine waking up and feeling 20 years older. Awful, isn't it? That's what your husband is going through. He is confronted with the fact that he is no longer young and that life is half over - and wants to resist it.

Part 3 of 4: Noticing behavioral changes

1. Notice if he is acting more recklessly. Suddenly, your husband may start acting like an impulsive, immature teen. He is reckless, drives his car too fast, engages in risky behavior and may even have renewed interest in partying. All of this is an attempt to live a younger life, make the most of life, and is an attempt to avoid regret.
   • Often these men have a desperate desire for freedom and independence, like a teenager - except that a teenager does not have to consider his family. He may be looking for adventure, but not sure where it can be found (and forgetting the impact it has on his family).
   • This reckless behavior can take the form of running away or "taking a break." It becomes difficult for him to get any satisfaction from his current way of life, so he declines all responsibilities in an attempt to create something a little more exciting.
2. Allow for changes in work or career. Often times, men who go through this think of quitting their job consider never going back to work (even if they can't afford to retire), or changing jobs altogether. The crisis is not limited to certain aspects of his life - it is everything from family and appearance to his career.
   • He may feel that he cannot envision a future with the people, activities and career he currently has. When he realizes this, he will inevitably make changes, if possible. This could be just a change of employer or a more drastic change, such as starting a whole new career.
3. Know that he can seek extra sexual attention. Unfortunately, men in midlife crises often have extramarital affairs, or at least flirt with the idea.They can start making sexual advances towards other women - a young co-worker, your daughter's gymnastics coach, a woman they meet at a bar - all in an effort to gain more sexual attention. For the record, they know this is inappropriate.
   • Some men will resort to doing this from behind their computer. They may spend an inordinate amount of time at their computer, often chatting online with strangers.
4. Watch for bad habits. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a man to become intoxicated during this crisis. He will drink too much even when alone. On the other hand, he may start to abuse prescription or recreational drugs. This is one of the parts of a crisis that is really harmful.
   • If he's putting his life in danger, it's time to take action. No matter how much he tries to distance himself, his health is at stake. If you have to, consider rehabilitation programs or at least therapy.
5. Watch for changes in spending patterns. To make this crisis more manageable, men will often start spending money in strange ways. They trade their car for a spruced-up sports car, get lost in infomercials claiming to have found a way to stay young forever, buy a new wardrobe, invest in a fleet of mountain bikes, and generally spend large sums of money on things that make them never interested before.
   • This can be good or bad. Some men spend thousands of dollars refurbishing their new car, while others spend that money on new fitness technology to get the whole family in shape. Good or bad, in the first place you have to have the money for it.
6. Know that he may be able to make irreversible life choices. Because of his adolescent rebellion, these men are particularly tempted to behave in a way that can ruin their lives. These can be things like:
   • An affair
   • Leaving the family
   • Suicide attempts
   • Seek out extreme sensations
   • Alcohol, drugs and gambling
     • This is because he generally feels that his life no longer suits him. These are all drastic attempts to create a new life, regardless of the negative impact it may have on him or those around him. In most cases there is no way to change his mind.

Part 4 of 4: Dealing with his crisis

1. Take care of yourself. This has the highest priority. He's not the only one going through a rough time. You probably feel like the solid ground has been swept away from beneath your feet and your whole life has been turned upside down. While that may be the case, you can still take care of yourself and live your life. That's really the only thing you can do.
   • If you were used to sipping wine on Wednesdays and cocktails on Fridays, but now that the habit has started for him to play poker with your son's friends, don't sulk at home. When he goes out for his thing, you do your thing. Take up that hobby you never had time for, spend more time with your friends, and ensure your own happiness. It's the best thing to do for him and you.
2. Know that these things alone mean little. A man who wants plastic surgery is not remarkable. A man having an affair isn't remarkable either. In themselves, these things don't mean anything. It's just that if you notice the vast majority of these clues, there could be a midlife crisis.
   • Some of these cues, such as emotional detachment, being angry, or asking existential questions, can also be signs of a mental health problem. If your husband seems to be experiencing the mental side of this problem (and not the behavioral side), consider this an alternative option. Talk to a counselor, psychologist, or other mental health professional and ask for their opinion.
3. Be aware of the time. Decreased interest in something or a moment of passionate anger does not amount to changes in personality and therefore does not indicate the presence of a midlife crisis. Small changes are normal. If we didn't, we wouldn't grow. It is only if these changes persist for six months or more and are prevalent every day that a crisis should be anticipated.
   • Try to bring back the first moment of the crisis. In most cases there is a trigger. It can be as small as a few gray hairs being noticed or as large as the demise of a loved one. If you can remember a conversation or a moment that matches his new behavior, it might be. How long ago was that?
4. Let him know you're there for him. This is a very difficult time he is going through. He has lost sight of who he really is and what he actually wants. Just talk to him without yelling, making accusations, complaining, or swearing. Don't demand anything; let him know that you have noticed changes and that you are there to support him. You may not like it, but you are not out to thwart his attempts at happiness.
   • If he's open to you, try to get a grip on his mindset and how he sees this moment in his life. This can help figure out what to expect. Every crisis is different and it can help you figure out where its battle is going on. Changes can focus on his appearance, work, relationships, or even just hobbies. By talking to him about that, you can predict his behavior - or at least not be surprised by it.
5. Give him space. While it may not be what you want, ultimately your man will need to be able to be himself and do his own thing. You may not be part of his new interests. And that's okay! Now he needs the space. If you give it to him, this process will go more smoothly for both of you.
   • He may need space both emotionally and physically. If he doesn't want to talk about it, leave it at that. It will be troubling at first, but can prevent additional conflict from forming.
6. Know that you are not alone. It is estimated that as many as 26% of people experience midlife crises. That's 1 in 4. Chances are you know many people who are going through this - either as the one having the crisis or as a loved one witnessing it. You have a network of resources available if it all gets too much for you. You probably just have to ask!
   • There are a number of books and websites on this topic that you may find useful. These help to better understand the concept of "letting go of love" and to decide whether to stay or leave. While this is a big thing for the man in your life, it can be a big thing for you too. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Tips

• If he denies this, talk to his family or friends.
• If at any point your husband starts doing unhealthy / dangerous things, consult your doctor as well.