Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Keep acting as normally as possible
• Part 2 of 3: Doing things together and creating a bond
• Part 3 of 3: Setting expectations and boundaries
• Tips

Long-distance relationships are never easy, but that doesn't mean things never go well. With enough persistence and good communication, a long-distance relationship can be even more stable than a normal one. Some simple adjustments to your attitude and lifestyle can help keep your sweetheart in your life.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Keep acting as normally as possible

1. Keep in contact. Since you don't see each other much in person, it's important to create and maintain an emotional bond as often as possible. They don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Communicating regularly, however brief, will show that you care enough about someone to want to put time and effort into the relationship and will make it easier to keep up to date with what's going on in each other's lives. If a lot of time goes by (days in a row) without you speaking to each other, the other person disappears into the background and you have to start over again when you have contact.
   • Find out which way your partner prefers to communicate. Try out a variety of technologies to see what works best for both of you. Try texting, emailing or Skype to know what the other person is doing in his / her life.
   • Schedule time within your schedules. If you know you're too busy to communicate, let your partner know ahead of time and try as hard as you can to keep in touch. If you're not as busy as your partner, try to be flexible and focus on something you enjoy doing.
2. Talk about ordinary little things. You don't have to feel that every conversation has to be an in-depth discussion about your relationship, dreams and wishes. Instead, focus on the little things that couples living together would talk about, such as the groceries, chores around the house, or the new color you are going to paint the walls with. That gives the feeling that you have a household together, something that you can both look forward to.
   • Talking about the mundane or boring things in your life also creates a stronger bond and interdependence, which is the foundation of a relationship.
3. Visit each other often. Try to visit each other as often as your budget allows. You have to take every opportunity to see each other. Set up a visit schedule, or at least make new plans to see each other at the end of each visit. Speaking in person is just as important as the satisfaction of being in a relationship, commitment, and trust.
   • Develop your own rituals that accompany your visits, such as eating out at your favorite restaurant, having a quiet evening at home or having a fun activity together.
   • Make traveling as easy as possible so that it doesn't get in the way of seeing each other. Know where you will meet at the station or airport. Try to travel with only carry-on or leave a bag of essentials with your partner to save time at the airport.
   • Make an appointment somewhere else. Go together to a place that is new to both of you, or choose a place that is halfway between you.
4. Get to know each other. Just like in any relationship, you need to spend time really getting to know and understand each other. When you talk, pay close attention to the things your partner really likes (such as hobbies or everyday activities) and try to learn a little more about them so that you can join the conversation.
   • Knowing each other's preferences also makes it easier to buy presents. A present is another way of expressing your feelings for each other when you live far away from each other.
5. Remember that your partner is only human. The distance can fuel a desire, but it can also cause you to idealize your partner. While that can make your relationship more stable, extreme idealization (thinking your partner is perfect) can make it difficult to connect with the real person.
   • Talking about everyday things for a moment every day makes it easier to realize that your partner is also just human, and it makes you aware of the changes your partner may be going through.
6. Support each other, even from a distance. Be there for your partner if he / she has problems, grief or other difficulties. You need to be there for each other so that he / she knows you care about him / her. If your partner always has to deal with difficult matters all by himself, he / she will eventually not need you at all. Mutual dependence is about the willingness to do what is best for your partner or your relationship without self-interest. By supporting each other, you create a mutual dependence that is essential for a long-distance relationship.
   • You can see interdependence in everyday situations such as compromising decisions and long-term habits such as quitting smoking.
7. Create trust. Trust is essential in a relationship, regardless of the distance. Try your best to remain faithful and resist temptation. If you go wrong, it is important that you are honest and tell your partner the truth, especially when lying would be best for you. For example, if you find yourself in a situation where you might be tempted (like in a club), it might be better for you to lie about where you went, but for the relationship it's better if you tell the truth .
   • By regularly emailing or Skypeing you can build trust within a relationship.
8. Be committed to each other. Be open and honest by sharing private information. You need to feel morally committed and want to continue the relationship because of personal values, not social pressure. Personal values ​​include things like "being faithful is part of my identity". Social pressure means that you take into account how your environment approves or disapproves of certain things. For example, "My mom would be devastated if I cheated on my girlfriend and she broke up" .. "
   • Beware of behaviors where your partner tries to manipulate you into doing something that is most convenient for them, such as pretending that it is an emergency so that you answer the phone while in a meeting.If dishonesty and manipulation become part of the communication, you should rethink why trust is lacking in the relationship.
   EXPERT TIP

   Don't do anything irrational just because you're angry or upset about something he or she said or did. Communication is key, if you have a problem you have to talk it out, it will build more trust and a stronger bond. You cannot maintain a relationship if you are terrified that he or she will hurt you because you did something out of anger.

Part 2 of 3: Doing things together and creating a bond

1. Share something. Create something that you both can access, such as a blog or a scrapbook. That gives you a new way to communicate and a feeling that you are making something together. For example, you can set up a food blog with your culinary adventures, post photos on Instagram when you are exercising or create a Twitter hashtag that is just yours.
   • Share your online calendars. If you miss each other, you can see why. You also have something to talk about, like, "How was the concert yesterday?"
2. Do the same things at the same time. This makes the distance shorter and easier to bridge. You feel closer together and feel a bond. If you don't know what to do, try one of the following:
   • Prepare the same meal at the same time. If you are both not very good at cooking, order both the same from the Italian or Chinese.
   • Read the same book or article. You can even take turns reading to each other.
   • Watch a TV series or movie at the same time. Stay on the phone and comment.
   • Skype while you eat or watch a movie.
   • Sleep together. You can leave your phone or Skype on and fall asleep together. That makes you feel closer together.
3. Learn something together. Choose a project that you both enjoy doing, and learn a language together, or learn to knit, for example. Do something that you both enjoy. That gives a shared history and you have something that unites you. It's also nice because it gives you something to talk about.
   • Make use of the internet. You can play a computer game online or something traditional like chess. You can chat while doing that, making you feel like you are together.
4. Make each other feel special. Do small things that let them know you care. You can write love letters and send them by post. Or you can just send small gifts, postcards or flowers. It's now easier than ever to send anything to your partner.
   • Don't think you necessarily have to send something very expensive or big. It is just as important to send something small on a regular basis as to send the other person something special on special occasions.
5. Have shared interests. Try new things together, even if it means doing it separately. You can also do something other than talking on the phone, because that can sometimes be the reason that a long-distance relationship fails. Do something romantic like stargazing together while on the phone. Or set the alarm on your phone so that you think of each other at the same time.
   • Remember that your partner is thinking about you while you are doing the activities together, even if you are far away from each other. It can strengthen your bond.
6. Create a bond. It's important to feel like you are part of the other person's life. Also try to meet friends, online or in person. This way you understand more about your partner's life and you can communicate with each other more easily.
   • If one of you eventually moves to be with the other, it means leaving friends behind. Immediately set up a new social and professional network for the partner who is going to move.

Part 3 of 3: Setting expectations and boundaries

1. Discuss the nature of your relationship. Ask important questions right away so that the nature of the relationship is clear to both of you. Decide what kind of relationship you want. Are you in "something" with each other, are you dating, are you boyfriend and girlfriend, or engaged? You should also discuss whether or not you can have something with others. For example, ask, "Are you willing to relocate if the relationship gets more serious?" or "What do you want from this relationship?"
   • While it can be difficult to ask these kinds of questions and they can lead to difficult conversations, it will save you a lot of grief and misunderstanding later on. This is important to build the relationship you both want.
2. Talk about doubts, insecurities, and fears. Talk about the scary and difficult topics as well as the fun ones. See it as an opportunity to honestly explore your feelings together. By seeing both your partner's better and worse moods, you can more easily accept their downsides when you see each other in person.
   • Understandably, you'd rather focus on the positive only. But you also have to dare to show your weaknesses to your partner. You're both just human, and it doesn't matter if you're not always happy.
3. Stay positive. Focus on the positive of the distance, such as keeping your own hobbies and career. Realize that distance forces both of you to be creative when it comes to communicating and expressing your feelings. See this as an opportunity to test your communication skills and your emotions.
   • As long as you see the long-distance relationship as temporary, you can stay cheerful and radiate that sense of security and happiness to your partner.
4. Keep expectations realistic. Remember you each relationship must work hard and dedicated, whether you live close to each other or not. If you and your partner are willing to take these steps, expect that there will be bumps in the way as well. If you can deal with that, these challenges will only contribute to a stronger relationship in the long term.
   • For example, you are already prepared that you cannot be together on important dates or holidays. If you know you won't be able to see each other on your birthday, try organizing something special so you can still interact.

Tips

• If you have to fly to see your partner, make sure you participate in a certain savings scheme (air miles or frequent flyer miles). If you save a lot of points, you can see each other more often.
• Create something for your partner to count down the days until you see each other again. For example, make a photo calendar, where you write why you love your partner every day.
• Seek support from others. It can help if you have a roommate so that you don't feel so alone.
• Send your partner pictures of yourself as often as possible. Exchange nice snapshots that will keep you both happy.
• Sometimes it's easier to get into a fight when you're in a long-distance relationship, because you can't always interpret each other's tone properly. The other person can get hurt if you can't talk to each other in real life. So be very careful about how your partner might interpret a message, especially if you say things while you're angry.
• If you are in college and in a long distance relationship, allow plenty of face time, especially at night when you are in a more romantic mood.
• If you're driving to your partner yourself and it takes several hours to get there, make sure you bring someone who wants to go to that city too. You can split the gas bill and make it cheaper to go there, and you can go more often if you keep doing this.