Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Deciding to end the relationship
• Part 2 of 4: Losing the relationship personally
• Part 3 of 4: Breaking up from a distance
• Part 4 of 4: Letting go

It's hard to end a long distance relationship. Whether it's because you can't handle being far away from someone you love, or feel trapped in a long-distance relationship with someone you don't love, it's all too easy to break up. postpone a relationship and let your feelings fester. Distance slows down both the beginning and the end of a relationship. However, ending your relationship can be a heavy load.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Deciding to end the relationship

1. Understand your feelings. Ask yourself why you want to break up and find out what things are making you unhappy in the relationship.
   • List the things that are bothering you. Is distance the problem, or is your partner the problem? Think about whether you can change any of these things, or if they are just unchanging side effects of a long distance relationship.
   • If you are unsure, make a list of positives and negatives: reasons to stay in the relationship and reasons to leave it. Consider the weight of each point - a very powerful negative point can negate a long list of positives.
2. Make sure this is what you want to do. Consider whether you can resolve your frustrations by talking to your partner. When you're sure you want to break up, be determined and make a plan.
   • If you are tired of the distance but still love your partner, consider talking to him or her about the future. Long-distance relationships work best when there is light at the end of the tunnel - if you and your partner plan to end geographic distance in the near future.
3. Consider discussing your feelings with a friend. If you want to talk to someone about your thoughts, but you are not ready to talk to your loved one about the issues in your relationship, consider seeking the advice of a close friend, family member, or counselor.
   • Explain what you don't like about the relationship and why you're thinking about breaking it up. Ask your counselor if your reasons are reasonable. He or she can confirm your thoughts or help you see your situation in a new light.
   • If your counselor has been through a long-distance divorce himself, it may be good to seek his or her advice. He or she may be able to give you valuable tips.
4. Start taking up your life. Stop living in the shadows of a long distance relationship. Open yourself to the possibilities around you and consider what can make you truly happy.
   • If you think you want to break up with someone, a taste of single life can help you make a decision. If you're starting to live apart from your long-distance partner and you like it, this could be the right choice for you.
   • Find new friends in your area. Consider joining a meet-up group or attending free events in your city. Go on a journey of discovery and don't think about the next time you talk to your partner. Do the things that your relationship has prevented you from doing.
   • Live for yourself and every moment of your day. You may notice that these steps give you plenty of room to breathe in the relationship.
5. Break it up properly. If you are on an exclusive relationship, but you want to see other people, it is better to break up with your partner before taking any further steps on the romantic side. Treat the other person respectfully.
   • If you cheat on a long distance partner and they find out, he or she is more likely to take the initiative and break up. However, the process can be many times more painful and you will only lengthen the situation.
   • If you're considering breaking up because you've already fallen in love with someone else, sooner or later you'll have to make a choice. The sooner you choose, the less painful it will be for everyone involved.

Part 2 of 4: Losing the relationship personally

1. Speak face-to-face with your partner. It is generally best to end a relationship personally, if you can, so that your partner can close the relationship properly. Show respect for the time and energy both of you have put into the relationship.
   • This can be one of the most difficult times of ending a long distance relationship. You may feel obligated to break it up personally, but you've trained yourself to make your time together as enjoyable as possible. These visits can become something of a fantasy - a vacation from everyday life - and it is difficult to break the pattern.
   • If you have plans to visit your partner soon, take advantage of this visit. If you don't have anything planned, consider visiting the other person as soon as you can. You don't have to come up with a reason, but it may not be wise to let your partner know that you are going to break up with them. Just go.
   • If you have anything else from your partner - like his sweater, or her favorite book - this is a perfect opportunity to bring it back. Take these things with you when you go.
   • Try to break up while visiting the other person, not the other way around. This makes it easier for you to leave.
2. Do not care during a joint holiday or a long journey.
   • The problems of everyday relationship life can fade into the background of a vacation and you may find it harder to initiate the breakup. Once you return to your daily life, the same frustrations may surface again.
   • If you do break up while on vacation, you may be in the vicinity of an upset ex-partner for the remainder of your stay.
3. Avoid a scene. Don't break up in a public place with a lot of people, such as a restaurant, coffee shop, or bar. This can make the situation more intense.
   • Make sure you can easily leave the location after you break up. Try not to leave any of your belongings at your soon-to-be ex's house, as it can be tricky to get back or pick up later.
   • Consider breaking up in a neutral place - a public place with few people, such as a city park.
4. Take the initiative for the conversation. Get started right away. Say something like, "We need to talk. This relationship isn't working for me, and I want to break up. "
   • Explain your reasons for ending the relationship. Be gentle and kind, but don't compromise. Speak honestly and speak from your heart.
   • For example: "I can't take the distance anymore. It eats me up and tears me apart from the inside. You're a great person and I hope you find someone who can give you what you need - but I can't be that person. "
   • For example: "I don't see us ending up in the same city in the near future, and I don't want to keep putting time and energy into something that isn't going anywhere. I wanted to do this personally, but it ends here. It is over.'
5. Be steadfast. Don't make the breakup sound like a deal or a suggestion. Be sure of your decision and be clear in your intentions.
   • Try to keep your explanation short and simple. The longer you stick around it and the more you say, the more complicated the breakup can become. Words can cause confusion.
   • Try to avoid discussions. Don't accuse your partner of anything or blame him or her. Explain that breaking up has to do with you and your inability to maintain emotional energy in this relationship.
6. Give your partner the option to take it out. Be patient and empathetic. Let your partner tell his or her side of the story and listen.
   • Stay as long as it takes to help your ex find a place for this situation. Be aware that he or she may not find peace immediately, depending on how emotionally involved your ex was in the relationship.
   • When there's nothing more to say, or when you feel like the conversation is going to spin in circles, wish your ex-partner the best and leave.

Part 3 of 4: Breaking up from a distance

1. Break it up over the phone or through video chat, if you can't figure it out personally. It's important to express your feelings as personally as possible so that your partner can shut it down for themselves as well.
   • It is preferable not to end the relationship via text message or an online message. These forms of communication are much less personal than a phone call or video chat and therefore your partner may not be able to get the ending he or she needs. If you've been with someone for a long time, it can seem insensitive and very sudden when you break up via text message.
   • Avoid publicly posting the breakup on social media such as Twitter or Facebook. This can come across as passive-aggressive and your partner can react with hostility in public.
2. Tell your partner to talk. Set a time and medium for the conversation. This will prepare him or her for a serious conversation and will encourage you to actually continue breaking up.
   • For example, send a message like: "Do you have time for a phone call at eight tonight? There is something I need to talk to you about. "
   • If you have a regularly scheduled "Skype date" or evening phone call, consider bringing the news during this time.
   • "We have to talk" is near-universal code for "Something is wrong with this relationship." If you use these words to start the conversation, he or she can guess what's coming. If there have been problems in your relationship for a while, he or she can even expect it.
3. Call him or her and start the conversation. Start right away. Say something like, "I hate doing this over the phone, but I have to say what I feel. This relationship isn't working for me, and I want to break up. "
   • Explain your reasons for ending the relationship. Be gentle and kind, but don't compromise. Speak honestly and speak from your heart.
   • For example: "I can't take the distance anymore. It eats me up and tears me apart from the inside. You're a great person and I hope you find someone who can give you what you need - but I can't be that person. "
   • For example, "I don't see us ending up in the same city in the near future, and I don't want to keep putting time and energy into something that isn't going anywhere. I wanted to do this personally, but this is it. It is over.'
4. Be steadfast. Don't make the breakup sound like a deal or a suggestion. Be sure of your decision and be clear in your intentions.
   • Try to keep your explanation short and simple. The longer you stick around it and the more you say, the more complicated the breakup can become. Words can cause confusion.
   • Try to avoid discussions. Don't accuse your partner of anything or blame him or her. Explain that breaking up has to do with you and your inability to maintain emotional energy in this relationship.
5. Give your partner the option to take it out. Be patient and empathetic. Let your partner tell his or her side of the story and listen.
   • Stay on the line for as long as necessary to help your ex on the way to the end. Be aware that he or she may not find peace immediately, depending on how emotional he or she is about the relationship.
   • When there's nothing more to say, hang up. It is over.
6. Send back any belongings of your ex that you still have. Consider sending a box of supplies or giving the supplies to a mutual friend to deliver.
   • Tell your partner how you plan to return items and make sure you do. This is a kind gesture and can give your partner some peace of mind to know that they are getting their things back.
   • Do this as soon as possible. This will help both of you move on with everyone's life after the divorce. Postponing it will only make you feel worse about returning the items later.

Part 4 of 4: Letting go

1. Set clear boundaries. Avoid talking to your ex often - resist the urge to contact or respond to him or her. Make it clear that the relationship is over and make your intentions clear.
   • If you communicate with your partner primarily through devices, such as phone calls, text messages, and the Internet, you will need to form new habits around these technologies. The relationship exists within the devices.
   • If you "break up" with someone but still talk to them every day, you remain emotionally engaged. If you can maintain clear boundaries, feel free to do so, but be careful about perpetuating a relationship.
   • Make sure your ex understands this. If you are the one initiating the divorce, your partner can remain emotionally attached to you. He or she may try to contact you again and you should deal with these feelings with respect.
2. Give your ex-partner the opportunity to take it out. He or she may feel the need to talk to you again after the breakup, whether it's explaining thoughts or clearing the air. Do whatever feels right, but consider taking the time to talk to your ex.
   • Be understanding, but steadfast. Listen to your ex and try to understand his or her point of view. Take in what your ex has to say, but don't let it influence you. Don't forget why you wanted to break up in the first place.
   • If your ex happens to visit your area and wants to meet up to talk, consider this but be careful. If you fall back into your old relationship patterns for personal communication, you may be giving your ex the wrong idea.
3. Get on with your life. Put down your screens and go outside. Reconnect with your work and your friends. Appreciate your freedom.
   • Try to meet new people. Join meet-up groups, participate in events, get involved with your community and build new networks.
   • Use the break as a catalyst for other positive changes in your life. Do the things you always wanted to do. Using the fracture as a time for personal growth can make it easier to move forward and reduce the risk of relapse.
4. Don't try to muse. Let the relationship end, even if the breakup is a bit messy. You do this for a reason.
   • If you ever feel homesick for your ex, remind yourself why you broke up with him or her.
   • Consider keeping the list you made of reasons to break up. If you are starting to rethink the relationship and feel homesick for the past, you can read through this list and perpetuate your purpose.