Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Knowing what to say
• Part 2 of 3: Knowing how to deliver it
• Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a conversation through text messages

You may be at a party talking to a guy you just met or who knows the man of your dreams on a first date, but if the conversation reaches a slow point you might panic because you don't know what to talk about anymore. Take a deep breath, calm down, and follow these helpful tips on how to keep a conversation going with a guy.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Knowing what to say

1. Ask open questions. This technique is essential no matter who you are talking to and what your end goal is. An open-ended question will require a more elaborate answer, while a yes-no question can be answered with only yes or no, which does not benefit the conversation.
   • Look for ways to ask yes-no questions in such a way that they become open questions. For example, you can ask if the guy in question liked the movie you watched, but you can phrase this so that you ask, for example, what he thought of the cinematography or the story. You can encourage him to respond by sharing your own thoughts on the topic.
2. Create more questions based on his answers. Pay close attention to what he says. Chances are something he says has more substance, so ask him when he's done thinking about it.
   • You can sustain most conversations just by saying, “That sounds interesting. Tell me something about that. ”
   • A guy is likely to stop talking about a topic if he thinks he's bored you. The great thing about asking him to elaborate is that you keep the conversation going, while at the same time giving him more confidence.
3. Compliment him so that he loosens up a bit. Most people appreciate a compliment if they feel like it's genuine, and if the guy in front of you looks like he's closing all the way down to you, a genuine compliment will give him that little bit of confidence he needs .
   • Avoid overly tempting compliments. For example, you can say "You have beautiful eyes" which is better than "You have bedroom eyes."
   • The best compliments will make him feel good about the whole situation. For example, you could try something like, “I'm glad you didn't leave me here. I think I would have been so bored without you. ”
4. Talk about your surroundings. If you're trying to come up with a topic, just look around. You can think of something about the place or event you are at to talk about.
   • If you are at a party or other social event, talk about the music, decorations, food, or anything else related to the event itself.
   • If you're in a restaurant, talk about the ambiance, the food and whether you've eaten there before.
5. Talk about your work or study. While these can sometimes be a bit of a nuisance to talk about, hardly anyone finds it difficult to talk about their working or academic life to other people. There is immediately something in common between two students or adults with a job, and by building on that common element you can build a relaxed atmosphere and mutual understanding.
   • Resist the temptation to complain too much about your work or school. A little complaining can sometimes create a sense of camaraderie as everyone deals with similar issues, but if you go on too long, you run the risk of stalling the conversation with your complaining.
6. Inquire about hobbies and interests. While work is a simple means of maintaining a conversation, hobbies and other interests are likely to appeal to the boy more. Once you understand his passion, you can move on to asking questions and turning it into a deeper conversation.
   • If you don't know the boy well, you will probably have to dig to find out what his interests are. Usually you can do this simply by asking directly what his hobbies or passions are.
7. Look for something you have in common. When the two of you are out, even on a platonic basis, there is something that has brought you together. Use that to get closer together.
   • We are not talking about having to be that way or destiny. This is about that mutual friend who arranged this blind date, or the class that was canceled that forced both of you to sit in the reading room.
8. Tell a humorous story. People love stories, especially when they are laced with humor. If you can tell a story that happened just before, you will have little trouble breaking the ice.
   • An older story can also work fine, but you will have to find a way to weave this into the conversation. If there is something about your current circumstances that you can relate to the story, you can point that out for example and introduce the story with, "That reminds me of the time ..."
9. Dare to open up. By talking about yourself, he knows that you are comfortable around him enough to confide in him. That will then inspire him to trust you too. As this mutual trust grows, the walls that block the conversation will gradually crumble.
   • You don't have to get too personal, talking about your monthly inconveniences can be just a bit too personal for him. You can of course talk about your dreams, family or your friends.
10. Avoid talking about past relationships or dates. This can be tempting and if things ever get serious with him there may come a time when you can discuss it. However, during this first often awkward phase in the acquaintance, talking about your previous sweethearts will be a sure and quick way to sink the ship.

Part 2 of 3: Knowing how to deliver it

1. Show that you are relaxed. If you act stiff or you seem uncomfortable, the boy may think you feel that way because of something he's doing wrong. The uncertainty that this causes will only make him more difficult to keep the conversation going.
   • Do not move restlessly. If you find yourself getting restless, change your seat and focus on the conversation again. Instead of getting upset because you have nothing else to contribute to the conversation, try switching to a different topic.
   • Don't worry about fidgeting or feeling uncomfortable. If you start to think about it, you will probably only move more.
2. Occasionally break eye contact. That boy is also a real sweetheart, by staring at him he will at a certain moment start to feel rushed. Blink your eyes for a moment, look the other way for a few seconds. Eye contact is important, but also knowing when and how to interrupt it.
   • Do maintain eye contact for most of the conversation. Eye contact lets the other person know that he has your undivided attention.
3. Be expressive. Laughing is especially important because it can put the boy at ease. You have to do more than just smile. If the conversation gets a bit more serious, a blissful smile will appear as if you are not there and in the worst case you will even come across as mean.
   • Don't be afraid to move your hands to empower your emotions. If this is just for you to do, don't try to stop or stop it.
4. Show interest and attention. Don't divide your attention between the guy you're talking to and something else - like texting a friend, for example. To keep the conversation going, you will have to make it clear that you are listening to him.
5. Don't judge yourself. If you accidentally say something that is stupid or embarrassing, acknowledge the mistake and move on. Everyone says something strange sometimes. If and when this happens, laugh about it and wave it away as best you can.
   • Seeing you blunder and laugh about it will help the boy relax a bit because he knows it's okay if the same thing happens to him.
   • You can apologize for your blunder if you feel the need to, but leave it at that.
6. Try not to appear too eager. You may want to get to know him better, but those feelings don't have to be mutual, so don't start planning the next appointment right away. As the conversation continues, you can occasionally give hints that you would like to meet again. If you do that clearly enough, most guys will pick it up and start behaving accordingly.
   • The best hint you can give is, “I enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we can do that more often. ”
7. Learn to recognize what his silences mean. Silences are not always a bad sign. He may not be interested, but he may also be so nervous that he cannot say a word. Give him time and try not to judge him too harshly for the silences.
   • If a boy deliberately gives short answers and appears distracted, he probably isn't interested.
   • If a boy is being cold and curt, but his body language says something completely different, he may be using his detachment to hide the fact that he doesn't know how to handle the situation.
   • If the guy seems intimidated by you, take it slow and hold back from the flirting.
8. Take the romantic tension away or tone it down a bit. If you are really interested in the boy as a relationship material, this advice may seem contradictory. By focusing too much on creating a romantic ambiance, you can make it more difficult for the other person to relax long enough for a quiet conversation.
   • Reduce romantic tension by cutting back on verbal or non-verbal flirting. Keep your words and actions limited to those of a regular friend or male relative.

Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a conversation through text messages

1. Name something you've seen on an online profile. If you're talking to a guy on the computer, check the online profiles he's given you access to and bring up any information he's posted. Even though he never talked to you about those things himself, it doesn't mean you shouldn't bring them up. As long as it is public information, you can rest assured.
   • This works especially well if you have a conversation with someone via the messaging system of a dating website, but can also be used if you send them a message via other social media.
   • Besides talking about things he has said, you can also talk about pictures on his page. For example, if he is in a forest in his profile picture, you can ask where he was at that moment and notice how beautiful the surroundings seem to you.
2. Respond within a reasonably foreseeable time. When talking to a guy via email or social media, try to reply the same day, if possible. Try to reply to a text within a few hours.
   • You don't have to answer right away. This may seem like you are desperately waiting for his message. However, replying to an online message within an hour is long enough to wait, but try to wait a few minutes for you to respond.
3. Make sure your messages are short but not meaningless. If this is someone you know or hope to meet in real life, it's best to save the longer conversations for that face-to-face meeting. That aside, it's important to talk about something other than the weather when you're communicating via text message or email.
   • Ask about what he will be doing on the weekend and major projects at work.
   • Avoid asking for advice about major problems in your life or his opinion on tough political issues.
4. Do not send duplicate messages. If a guy doesn't reply to your first message, resist the urge to send him another message after an hour. Give him time. If a few days have passed, you can try again, but don't complain about the fact that he didn't respond last time.
   • Instead of pointing an accusing finger at him, you can also politely ask questions about your previous text message. Otherwise, blame the technology and say something along the lines of, “My phone has been malfunctioning lately. Did you get my message from a few days ago? ”
   • You can also not talk about the previous message at all or not reply, and go back to whatever you talked about.
   • If the boy doesn't respond to this second message, don't bother sending a third. Obviously, the conversation is over.
5. Try to compensate for the lack of body language. Communicating via digital means has a major disadvantage: you cannot send non-verbal signals in any way. To adapt a sleeve here, you can use phrases that both inform and express your feelings.
   • For example, if the boy compliments you, say something like, "Hey, thank you!" to show that you appreciate it and are happy with the compliment.
   • A few emoticons can also help as long as you don't overdo it. Only use emoticons when you want to emphasize a certain emotion, not all the time. For example, if you say something like, "I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast," then you don't need to put a smiley face on it. However, if you had an extensive conversation the last time you saw each other about how long it has been since you ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then this news becomes a lot more significant and you can get away with a smiley face or winking emoticon.