Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Ending the affair
• Part 2 of 3: Talking to your partner
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your partner's affair
• Tips
• Warnings

When one partner cheats on the other, it can be very difficult to choose between the old relationship and the affair. In many cases, ending the affair is a delicate process that requires a lot of emotional strength and caution. Whether you've ended an affair yourself or your partner cheated on you, it's possible to learn how to move on with your relationship.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Ending the affair

1. Assess both relationships separately. If you cheat, you may feel confused and sad about the trial ahead. You may have damaged your partner's trust, and you will also have to consider the other party's feelings. Every relationship is different, and it is important to evaluate both relationships separately before developing an action plan.
   • Consider whether you should talk to your steady partner first or your new one. Does the person you're having an affair with know that you're already in another relationship? If you've already promised to end your marriage or relationship for your new partner, you need to be very careful when you break off the affair.
   • Never let both parties get together to discuss it as a group. Even if either party wants to, it is a situation you should absolutely avoid
2. Decide whether or not you want to stay with your old partner. If you have decided that you want to end the affair, you must also decide whether or not you want to stay with your old partner, and how you will handle the situation of the affair together.
   • If you do want to stick together, you have to decide how much you want to reveal to your partner about the affair. If you feel very guilty and want to come to terms, do it as soon as possible. If you feel confident it will never happen again, consider working on your relationship without disclosing anything about the affair.
   • Why did you actually start the new relationship? Was it a temporary dip in your loyalty to your partner, or are you actually dissatisfied with your relationship? Would you be happier if you divorced completely? It is not just up to your partner to decide whether or not to "take you back".
3. End your affair just like you would a normal relationship. Just because an affair is usually kept out of sight doesn't mean you shouldn't give that partner the same amount of respect. If you want to end it, do it personally and in a fair, respectful manner.
   • When the person you're having an affair with knows you're in a different relationship, it can be heartbreaking not to be the “chosen one,” even if you don't look at it that way. When you end the affair, talk about the things that aren't working in that relationship, and don't compare it to your marriage or other steady relationship.
4. Do not leave the door ajar. Don't try to make it easy for you by allowing it to work out fine. Don't say that if your marriage goes on the rocks, you might still have a chance or that you "see what happens." If you break up with the relationship, do so permanently.
   • If you're just ending the affair because you got caught, think carefully about how good your other relationship is. If you are guilty cheating because you are not satisfied, it may be better to end both relationships.
5. Get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. If you've had sex with two different partners, it's important to get tested for STDs as soon as possible. For the safety of yourself and your two partners.
   • If you did not use condoms during the affair, it is important that you tell your old partner. Even if you don't have any symptoms of an STD, you can still pass it on to your partner. You owe it to your partner to be honest.
6. Delete all online photos and communications. Even if you are open card, you have to make sure that your partner does not accidentally come across painful photos, e-mails or other things on the internet. If you want to try to save your relationship, these kinds of obstacles can work against it.

Part 2 of 3: Talking to your partner

1. Decide whether you want to play face-to-face. While it is often said that you should always be honest in a relationship, there are also those who believe it depends on the nature of the affair, the arrangements you have with your old partner, and many other factors unique to your situation. .
   • If you already had problems in your relationship, it can strengthen your bond and restore the trust you once had in each other if you're honest, but it can also end the relationship for good. Either way, at least you'll get rid of the troubled relationship.
   • If your relationship is good and you've made a one-time slipper, and you're sure it will never happen again, it can actually be more damaging to tell you that you've cheated. End the affair, then be loyal to your partner.
   • If you are married, people are more likely to try to save the relationship together, but there are many different factors involved in making this decision.
2. Keep it simple. You do not need to have an extensive list of excuses if you are going to play open cards. Just say, "There's no easy way to say this, but I want you to know that I had an affair. It's done now, I feel terrible about it and I would like to get back to working on our relationship, if you still want me ".
   • Don't share too much information. Being honest about an affair doesn't mean overdoing it. Your partner does not need to hear all the details about what you have done with the other person, but do let your partner know if he / she needs to be tested for STDs.
3. Talk about your relationship, not your affair. After an affair, the most important thing is not what you did between the sheets, but how you ended up cheating. If you want to work on your relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about your relationship, not the relationship with the other person. Focus on the future.
   • It's normal for your partner to be angry and hurt, but you may also be curious about the person you had the affair with. In the conversations, talk about your own relationship, not the relationship that has ended. If this doesn't seem possible, you should end both relationships.
   • Don't keep apologizing for your behavior. You don't have to make up reasons for what you did. Be honest with your partner and then think about how you can move forward together.
4. Let your partner think about it. It is very difficult to know how to respond when you learn that you have been cheated on. It is important to give your partner space so that he / she does not feel compelled to talk about it at the time and has time to think.
   • If you live together, stay somewhere else for a few days so that your partner has time to think about it. It is also possible that your partner wants to leave. Then let him or her go too.
   • Don't force the other person to talk about the topic. If your partner doesn't want to talk about it, you can't force him / her. It may take a while before he / she knows how he / she is feeling.
5. Consider relationship counseling. Often couples in which one cheated on their own then go to therapy to talk to an independent party about the situation. It can provide a refreshing perspective on the dynamics of the relationship, especially if you've been together for a long time and the relationship has deteriorated. If you want it to be okay, get help.
6. Avoid ultimatums. It will take a while for things to get right again, but if you start setting ultimatums, the relationship will become manipulative and unhealthy. Just because you've cheated, you don't have to agree to a complicated series of ultimatums to make your partner happy.
   • If one of the two has had an affair, many couples think it helps to give the other a release from cheating. But this usually only makes the problem worse. Then you have two parties that are hurt instead of one. This will not save your relationship.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your partner's affair

1. Act in a way that you can be proud of yourself. If you find out that your partner has cheated on you, stop and take a deep breath. If you blow it up and kick a scene, you don't make the situation any better. When everything has calmed down, you still have the same things you need to work on. Even if it is frustrating and painful to discover it, it is better to try to give it some time.
   • Avoid Jerry Springer-style situations. You don't have to use hidden cameras, dramatic name calling, or public humiliation to deal with your partner's affair. You're not on TV. Behave with dignity.
2. Talk to your partner calmly. If you think your partner is cheating on you and you want to be sure, or if you already know for sure and want him / her to stop, confront him / her in a calm, calm way. Your partner is more likely to tell the truth if you stay calm.
   • If you start yelling, your partner may be able to tell more lies to calm you down and get out of the conversation. If you want to know the truth, keep calm.
3. Decide whether you want to end the relationship or not. It can be very difficult to regain trust in your partner after an affair, and not every relationship is worth it. Decide whether you want to continue with this relationship and when the affair is over, try to restore trust.
   • If your partner doesn't want to give up the affair or is hesitant, end the relationship right away.
4. Give it time. Your first reactions may surprise you. You can be angry, sad, or feel different emotions. You may be relieved that the troubled relationship is finally over. Whatever you feel, give yourself time to process it. Require the other person to leave if you live together, or go elsewhere to think. Don't make hasty decisions.

Tips

• Forgiveness is an important part of moving on after an affair. Forgive yourself and forgive your partner so that you can start working on the real cause of the problems.
• Relationship counseling can help both partners.

Warnings

• Do not become aggressive, hit or take on a victim role to force your partner to end the affair, as doing so will only repel him / her more.