Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 5: Get into your role
• Method 2 of 5: Pretend you have a fever
• Method 3 of 5: Pretend to be nauseous
• Method 4 of 5: Pretend you have a cold
• Method 5 of 5: Sounding sick on the phone
• Tips
• Warnings

Don't want to go to school or work? Want to fool your partner for secretly wanting to host a surprise party? Do you have to play the part of a sick person in a play? Or are you just lazy and do you want to rest for a day? In all these situations, knowing how to pretend to be sick is helpful

To step

Method 1 of 5: Get into your role

1. Determine what illness you have. Ideally, you choose an illness that is so bad that you cannot do your daily tasks, but not so bad that you will be sent to the hospital or the doctor. A bad cold, fever or food poisoning are good diseases to fake. Make sure you know the symptoms of the disease you choose and limit your “occurrence” to exactly those symptoms.
2. Start listing symptoms the day before. If you don't want to go to school on Monday, you have to behave tired and weak on Sunday. Say you don't feel well or have a headache. This makes it more credible if you show more symptoms the next day.
3. Refresh your memory. You have been really sick once and people have seen you sick. Try to remember what that felt like and what other people could see about you. Try to fake the symptoms of that time and to rekindle the corresponding feeling. It is easier to convince people of a disease you have already had than of a whole new condition.
4. Whiten your face. If you have green camouflage cream, you can put it on your cheeks and forehead. This is how you look pale. Your face shouldn't turn green, but just a little bit of green cream can make your face look paler.
   • Don't overdo the makeup application. If your make-up stands out too much, you can assume that you will fall through the basket.
   • When using makeup, make sure that no one is touching you. If someone touches your face and the make-up comes off, you will fall through the basket.
5. Pretend you are dizzy and lightheaded. Walk slowly and take small steps. Take your time to get out of bed or get up from a chair. When you get up from your table, you can pretend to lose your balance for a moment and grab the edge of the table to supposedly rebalance.
   • If you are alone in your room, you can try out what dizziness feels like. Turn in circles until you are slightly dizzy. Pay close attention to the feeling it makes you and your own behavior. When you are in company, you can bring that feeling and behavior back, but don't overdo it.
6. Pretend you're uncomfortable. Sick people don't feel well. So they don't joke or laugh. Give the impression that you are disoriented and in your own world. If you always get cranky when you're sick, then act cranky now too. Don't enjoy the things you normally enjoy. If you are invited to the movie, decline the invitation; even though you usually love going to the movies.
7. Be limp and sluggish. Stay in bed if possible. When you are sick, it is a natural reaction to want to rest and sleep. That way, your body gives itself time and rest to recover. Do away from it every now and then or rest your head on the table every now and then. Take every opportunity to huddle on the nearest couch.
   • Pretend to shiver even when you're under the covers.
8. Pretend that you are very sorry that you are sick. It's no fun being sick. It usually means that you have to catch up on a lot of work afterwards. Please indicate that you are very sorry that you cannot attend the activities and apologize for any inconvenience caused. Do not show that you are happy to stay at home. Mutter softly “okay” and pretend you're falling back to sleep.
9. Don't get well too soon. If you have really convinced others of your illness, they will be surprised when you are suddenly 100% better the next day. If your parents allow you to stay at home, you have to stay "sick" all day long. Wait until a few hours after school is out to laugh and be energetic.

Method 2 of 5: Pretend you have a fever

1. Make your face warm and sweaty. Fever is a classic fake disease. Fever is contagious and the best treatment is bed rest.People with a fever usually have a warm face and forehead, while at the same time they are cold. There are a few ways you can make your face look feverish.
   • Take a hot shower, but don't get your hair wet.
   • Blow in your face with a hair dryer.
   • Rub water on your face to make you look sweaty.
   • Heat your face for a few minutes with a hot water bottle or a warm bean bag. Make sure no one is watching when you do this!
   • Rub your face hard with your hands.
   • Lie on your back and let your head hang from the edge of the bed. That way, all your blood will flow to your head.
2. Cover yourself with several layers of clothing and blankets. This makes you sweat, but at the same time people think that you are very cold. Pretend you're shivering, no matter how thick you wrapped yourself. Chills are part of a bad cold or fever.
3. Mess with the thermometer. If one of your parents or a nurse leaves you alone with the thermometer in your mouth, there are a few tricks you can do to make your temperature seem higher. Make sure that your temperature does not get too high. Either everyone finds out that you're kidding, or they take you to hospital because of your extremely high temperature.
   • Drink hot water before putting the thermometer in your mouth.
   • Touch the thermometer to a hot light bulb for a few seconds.
   • Shake the metal end of the thermometer vigorously. This will move the mercury to the other end of the thermometer. Of course, this does not work with digital thermometers.

Method 3 of 5: Pretend to be nauseous

1. Pretend you don't have an appetite. Prick your food with your fork without taking many bites. Do not empty your plate, even if it is the food that you normally like.
2. Rub your stomach every now and then. Make an uncomfortable face at that. You don't have to say anything at first when you do this. Only when someone asks what's going on do you say you have a stomach ache.
3. Put a bucket next to you. This gives the impression that you can throw up at any time; even if you don't really use the bucket. Pick up the bucket every now and then and stare into it with an empty stare. This makes it seem like you have an occasional bout of nausea.
4. Stay in the toilet for a long time. Sick people spend a lot of time on the toilet because they have diarrhea or vomiting. You don't have to put on a big show, but everyone will notice if you run to the bathroom a few times an hour.
5. Pretend to throw up. Run to the bathroom and make gagging noises. Then throw a glass of water in the toilet and then flush. Do this a few times, take the time to "wash your face" and walk out of the bathroom with a sad face.
   • Most of the time people don't want to see your puke, so the sound effects should be enough. You can make fake vomit and throw it in the toilet if you have supposedly vomited.
   • When you are eating soup, you can hold some soup in your mouth and pretend to swallow it. Then blow your cheeks like the soup is coming up again, run to the toilet and spit it in the toilet bowl.

Method 4 of 5: Pretend you have a cold

1. Only breathe through your mouth. It's hard to pretend you have a runny nose, but a stuffy nose is easy to imitate. Just breathe through your mouth and speak slowly. Now and then, sniff your nose with small, short pinches.
2. Shiver and pretend you're cold. Wear several layers or lie under a few blankets. Take a cold shower so that your skin feels cold.
3. Pretend to sneeze or cough. This is a risk, because if you do not perform this perfectly, you will fall through the basket. It's easier to pretend to be coughing than to pretend to sneeze. But even a fake cough can be inconclusive if you don't do it mindfully.
   • You can induce a sneeze by sniffing a little pepper. To do this in a subtle way, you can sprinkle some pepper on a sweater and wipe your nose on it. Smell the pepper to induce your sneeze.
4. Put a little toothpaste on your lower lids to make your eyes water. Make sure it doesn't get in your eyes, but right to the edge. Let the toothpaste sit for about three minutes. Your eyes will burn and tears.

Method 5 of 5: Sounding sick on the phone

1. Change your voice. If you have to call your boss to report you sick, make sure you sound sick so he doesn't get suspicious.
   • Speak softer than usual. Occasionally pause in the middle of a sentence. Don't be too quick to answer his questions. You are sick and sluggish, don't forget that.
   • Only try to breathe through your mouth so that it sounds like your nose is blocked.
2. Emphasize that you can infect others. Your boss probably doesn't care how you feel, but he doesn't want you lighting all your colleagues. State that you think someone has lit you. Tell them that you have to cough and sneeze and that you have a very runny nose.
3. Cough or sneeze. Don't put that in the receiver, you wouldn't do that if you were really sick. Keep the phone away and then cough or sneeze loudly. Apologize and continue the conversation.
4. Make puke noises. Take two large glasses of water to the toilet and call your boss while you are sitting next to the toilet. If you really need to sound sick, stop in the middle of the conversation, make gagging noises, and throw the glasses of water in the toilet. This makes it sound like you have vomited.
5. Do not exaggerate. It's very easy to arouse suspicion if you're overdoing it. It is best to just report sick without giving too many details. That way you run the least chance of getting caught up in your own lies.

Tips

• Wait for your parents to ask if you want to stay at home. If the proposal comes from them, you are much more likely to be allowed to stay at home than if you asked yourself.
• Pretend that you can't perform the smallest daily activities, such as brushing your teeth, putting on deodorant, or combing your hair.
• Keep a log of all dates, excuses and reasons why you were phony sick. Make sure you don't repeat too much and don't develop patterns that could make you suspicious.
• When talking to your boss, keep it simple; less is more. Tell your boss to call in sick, but don't give too many details unless he asks. The more complicated your lies become, the more likely you are to become entangled in them.

Warnings

• Don't take real medicine for your fake symptoms. That can be dangerous. If you get a pill, put it under your tongue and pretend to swallow it. Discard the pill when no one is looking.
• Watch out for a false alarm effect. If people know that you sometimes pretend to be sick, they probably won't believe you when you are really sick and need help.
• If you stay at home, stay in bed for a while, even when your parents are away. Chances are they will come back because they have forgotten something or because they want to see how you are doing.
• Delete this page from your browser history. You will be thrown out if someone discovers that you have done preliminary research.
• This is especially true if you're still in school: don't feign embarrassing symptoms. Cold, fever, or vomiting is okay. However, telling everyone you have diarrhea can be embarrassing.