Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Show that you are on his side
• Method 2 of 3: Discuss the situation
• Method 3 of 3: Signs of Lies

Getting someone to tell you the truth is a very useful skill. This skill can help you in a wide variety of situations (at home and at work). You will need a little practice, patience and confidence, but this is a completely achievable task that will help you get to the bottom of the matter. By showing the person that you are on their side, starting the conversation with the correct intonation, and knowing the signs of a lie, you increase your chances of finding out the truth.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Show that you are on his side

1. 1 Don't press charges. The person is unlikely to trust you if you start blaming them. Remain calm and try to be neutral. You don't have to shout, bang your fists on the table and stand with your arms crossed - it looks intimidating. A person will be much more willing to open up to you if he feels that you understand him.
   • If possible, sit down and look the person in the eyes, talk to him in a soft and calm voice. Place your hands on your knees or simply lower your elbows on the table, and your expression should be neutral.
2. 2 Show empathy. Trust between people is built when you understand and sympathize with the person. People will be more willing to tell you the truth if they know you won't judge them. Act as if you perfectly understand why this person did this and not otherwise.
   • For example, let's say you caught your son with a group of guys smoking. You could say, “You will of course deny the fact that you smoke. But I want you to know that I will understand you, even if I do. Our peers and friends often influence us, forcing us to do things that we usually don't. "
   • Give the impression that you think the person did something (that they actually did) —this way, you will encourage them to tell the truth.
3. 3 Pretend that nothing big will happen if the person tells you the truth. People often refuse to tell the truth because they are afraid of the consequences. But if you can minimize the severity of the situation, chances are the person won't lie to you.
   • You might say, “Actually, this is not a big deal. I just want to know the truth. " Try to reassure the person that he didn’t do anything serious, so it will be easier for him to tell you what really happened.
   • But you should heed this advice only if it really is something insignificant. For example, such a trick will clearly not work if a person has broken the law and faces legal liability.
4. 4 Tell the person that he is not the only one to blame. Help him feel like he's not the only one to be blamed. If a person gets the impression that other people are to blame for some incident, most likely, he will tell the truth. The person is likely to close in himself, knowing that he will have to cope with what happened alone.
   • For example, you might say, “I know you are not the only one to blame. Other people are also to blame for what happened.
5. 5 Offer the person your protection. Tell him that you will do everything you can to help him. Reassure the person that you are on their side, that you will try to do everything in your power to protect them. A person will open up to you if he is not afraid of you.

Method 2 of 3: Discuss the situation

1. 1 It is necessary to distinguish between suspicion and evidence-based accusation. Your approach to this situation depends on whether you rely on any evidence of the person's guilt. You will have to deal with situations based on suspicion, in which case your actions will be different than in situations with conclusive evidence.
   • In case of suspicion, it is best to carefully communicate your suspicions (in a calm tone without accusations) and try to understand the truth in the course of communication.
   • In situations where you have clear evidence, it is best to state your claims and provide the evidence you have. In this case, the person who is trying to evade responsibility does not have so many options.
2. 2 Tell the person a version of the story. Mention facts you know as you tell the story from your perspective. Your interlocutor can correct you and supplement your story if some details do not correspond to reality. This way you can achieve partial recognition.
   • In addition, you can deliberately change part of the story to induce the person to tell the truth. For example, you might say, “So you went to the bar last night,” even though you know it was different. This will prompt the other person to correct you. Thus, the interlocutor can "accidentally" tell you the truth.
3. 3 Change the situation. Ask the same question in different ways. Remember that if a person answers your question with the same phrases, it means that he has already rehearsed his words in advance. If this person's answers contradict each other, most likely they are lying.
   • You can also ask this person to tell the story from their own point of view, but from the end. Or ask him to start the story in the middle. Such reworking of the story can cause slips and mistakes in the story, which will indicate that the person is lying to you.
4. 4 Choose your words very carefully. The tone in which you speak can play a big role in whether a person agrees to tell you the truth or not. A guilty tone can lead the person to lie to you. But better words can motivate the person to tell you the truth.
   • For example, you might want to use the word “took” instead of “stole” or “spent time with someone” rather than “changed”. The person is more likely to admit their guilt if you speak to them in a softer tone.
5. 5 Bluff if necessary. Bluffing is a dangerous but very effective tactic. Bluffing involves creating a threat. That is, you pretend that you know the truth, even if you, in fact, have no evidence, and you are not going to threaten the person. Bluffing can motivate a person to tell the truth because they are afraid of the consequences.
   • For example, you can say: "I have a witness who saw you at the scene of the crime." This may be enough to scare the person into telling you the truth. If the person is still lying to you, you can contact the local authorities.
   • Keep in mind that verbal threats (such as bluffing) only occur if you are confident that the person is guilty. In fact, if you have the opportunity, you should not threaten the person, because he will take a defensive position and your chances of finding out the truth will diminish.
6. 6 Avoid physical coercion. It is difficult to control yourself when a person blatantly lies to you, looking into your eyes. If you need to pull yourself together and catch your breath, take a break. But don't use violence to force the person to tell you the truth.

Method 3 of 3: Signs of Lies

1. 1 Pay attention to whether the person is answering your questions. Avoiding an answer is a common sign that the person is lying to you. Trying to change the subject or simply refusing to answer questions is a big clue. In most cases, a person can calmly talk about anything if he has nothing to hide.
2. 2 Listen to his voice. The tone and timbre of the voice often changes when a person is lying. His voice may become slightly higher than usual, or he may speak too quickly, in some cases, you may even hear a tremor in his voice. Any change in voice can be a sign of a lie.
   • You need to know the person's voice well in order to conclude whether he is telling the truth by the timbre of his voice. Start with the usual questions that you already know the answer to. Listen to how the person's voice sounds. Then move on to those questions you don't know the answer to once you get used to that person's voice. If his voice starts to change, chances are he is lying. However, this method may not work with a pathological liar or sociopath.
3. 3 Watch your body language. A person's behavior can change dramatically when he begins to lie. Lying makes a person nervous and behaves differently than usual. Even the smallest changes in behavior can indicate a lie.
   • For example, a person might try to cover their eyes or mouth when deliberately lying. In addition, you can see that a person begins to fidget a lot, constantly swallows saliva and tries to clear his throat. Signs of lying also include laughing nervously and trying to avoid eye contact with you.