Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Control Your Attitude
• Part 2 of 3: Assess Your Past
• Part 3 of 3: Move Forward
• Tips
• Warnings

Forgetting your first love is not easy, because this is your first experience of a romantic relationship. All first impressions set the tone for your subsequent perception of such experiences and situations. It's perfectly okay if you find it difficult to forget your first love. As difficult as the situation is, there are steps you can take to help you move forward. First of all, you need to think less about your former partner. Concentrate your attention on the present and do not dwell on the past. Look at your relationship from a different angle: it ended, but now you know what love is. After longing for the past, you need to move forward. Focus on the future and try not to think about lost love.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Control Your Attitude

1. 1 Try to think about your ex as little as possible. It might seem like the best thing to do is not think about the person at all, but this approach can backfire. If you force yourself not to think about something, then you will only become more obsessed with this aspect. It is best to limit the time you spend thinking about the person. This strategy will prove to be more rational.
   • Choose a time of day when you allow yourself to think about your ex (for example, half an hour in the morning). If you find it difficult to awaken memories, then listen to the song or remember a movie that you two enjoyed.
   • Then try not to think about that person for the rest of the day. If thoughts will make their way to your head, then tell yourself: "Stop thinking about it today, it is better to transfer such thoughts to tomorrow."
2. 2 Pay attention to unrealistic thoughts. If you are suffering from an expired first love, then you are likely to be prone to catastrophic thinking. For example, the following may occur to you: "I will never be able to love anyone" or "I will never be happy again." Learn to recognize these thoughts in time and resist.
   • No two relationships are exactly the same. Quite right: you will never feel what you felt about this person. But this does not mean at all that you will no longer love and will not be happy.
   • Stay realistic. Life doesn't end with first love. Think about your friends, parents, and other loved ones. Surely they all had a similar experience, but later were able to build a healthy relationship.
   • Remember, despite the current difficulty, you will surely fall in love again and be happy, even if it takes time.
3. 3 Concentrate on the present moment. Think about what is happening right now. You can think about your friends, work, interests, and hobbies. Yes, you do not have a love relationship now, but you have something to live for.
   • Do things that keep you from thinking about the past. Find a new hobby or course. Volunteer. Sign up for a gym. Anything that requires your attention and focus will do.
   • New memories help to forget about the past. Take concrete steps towards new, more pleasant memories so that you can forget your first love.
4. 4 Don't forget about yourself. It's hard to stay positive if you don't think about yourself. After a breakup, you may have difficulty sleeping, exercising, or eating well. It is extremely important to remember your basic needs. This is the only way you can believe in yourself and avoid negative thoughts.
   • In addition to sleeping and eating, don't forget to pamper yourself. After breaking up, you can allow yourself to relax a little.
   • Hang out with your friends all night. Order food, go for a walk or bike ride. Watch your favorite movie.

Part 2 of 3: Assess Your Past

1. 1 Pay attention to negative points. There are lessons to be learned from all relationships. You change and grow to build healthy, long-term relationships. As you try to forget your first love, start paying attention to negative things to avoid in your new relationship.
   • Think about why your relationship ended. Perhaps you should have behaved differently? Is it possible that you and your partner were simply incompatible? What attracted you to this person? Is it possible that your ideas were wrong?
   • In most cases, a relationship ends because two people simply don't fit together. Take this opportunity to choose a more suitable partner in the future.
2. 2 Learn to enjoy memories. You don't need to block all your thoughts about your ex. After a while, this situation will only cause a smile on your face. Love generates wonderful happy emotions, and the first feeling remains special forever. If the memory evokes a smile, then allow yourself to rejoice and remember the past with warmth.
   • Memories can be empowering. Looking back, you will see a man in love. Fond memories are always invigorating.
   • Memories can also help you get through difficult days. You may accidentally recall the encouraging words of your ex and feel better. There is nothing wrong with good memories. Just remember that this relationship is over.
3. 3 Accept the fact that there is nothing special about first love. It is a wonderful experience and feelings: you get to know yourself better and you feel in love for the first time. At the same time, people tend to overly romanticize any of their first emotions. There was almost certainly nothing outstanding in this relationship other than the novelty factor. Remember that first love will always matter to you, but don't let it influence your perception of current events.
   • Sometimes we exaggerate the emotions and feelings experienced with first love. In a new relationship, this can result in a comparison of current feelings and past feelings. Think back to any of your first impressions. They are always slightly exaggerated. The first day at work must have seemed unforgettable too, but it is very likely that it was no different from other days.
   • Try to perceive your first lover not as an ideal partner, but as an experience. You have learned to love and be romantically involved. Moreover, such a person is not necessarily the only one with whom you can be happy. It is in human nature to give the first experiences additional importance.
4. 4 Your ex is an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Think about what you have learned in this relationship. Which aspect did you like the most? Have you learned selflessness? Now you know how to take care of more than just yourself? Don't think of a relationship as a failure just because it's over.Almost all of our romantic relationships are learned experiences. Learn to appreciate what you've learned about yourself and your ability to love, and don't seek to completely forget that relationship.

Part 3 of 3: Move Forward

1. 1 Review your global goals. In the immediate aftermath of a loss, we often forget our main goals. Sometimes in the completed first love, we can see an unsuccessful attempt to build a love relationship. Take another look at your relationship goals. Failure alone does not mean that you have failed in all your goals.
   • Think about what you want out of life. Think of other goals besides finding a partner. For example, what kind of education do you want to get or what kind of career do you intend to pursue?
   • One failure is not yet a failure. On the contrary, most people on the way to their goals are repeatedly faced with deprivation and rejection. You can achieve your goals without this person.
2. 2 Don't rush into new relationships. Many people believe that a new relationship will help them forget their first love faster. A new person will really distract you from thinking about the past, but you can hardly build a successful relationship with this approach. Take your time with new relationships and take the time to properly assess your past.
   • Think about what you want out of the relationship. Evaluate which of these you have been able to implement and which have failed. This will help you find a more suitable partner in the future.
   • Often times, people change attitudes like gloves in an attempt to find the right partner. You need to understand that if you do not learn to live normally alone, you will not be able to build a strong romantic relationship. Take time to be sad about your first love and decide what you want from your future relationship.
3. 3 Find an example to follow. Choose a friend, relative, or coworker who has been successful in breaking up with his first love. Try to mimic the behavior of someone who is able to live a happy and fulfilling life without this relationship.
   • Find someone who is happy alone. Learn from people who can breathe deeply outside of a relationship.
   • Take a closer look at how such a person copes in this situation, remains strong and independent after the end of the relationship.
4. 4 Accept that you will be sad for a while. You need to acknowledge your feelings, even if you are determined to move on. Take steps that make you feel better, but deal with sadness, which is a natural aspect of a breakup. Even if you do everything right, you will not be able to forget your first love in the blink of an eye. Don't beat yourself up about your tough days. It's okay, you just need time.
   • Don't panic if any reminder of your first love spoils your mood. Negative emotions should not be avoided at all costs so as not to exacerbate the situation.
   • Accept that you will be sad for a while. You can cry if necessary. Give vent to negative emotions so that you can breathe deeply in the future.

Tips

• Try to write down your feelings. If bad thoughts and feelings are constantly circulating in your head, write them down on paper to reduce the stress level.
• Get rid of your ex-partner's belongings. Things are able to store a smell and remind you of a person. It is best to get rid of any notes or drawings of your ex. Previously, such items made you happy, but now they can only sadden you.
• Keep yourself busy. Do not mess around, otherwise your free time will quickly take up thoughts of your first love. Go to the gym, clean your apartment, or find a hobby.
• Talk to new people. New acquaintances will help you forget your ex and focus on your friends again. Join a club, volunteer, or go to an event alone and meet people.

Warnings

• You don't need to regularly check your former partner's Facebook or VKontakte profile. New posts or photos will only upset you.
• Don't slander your ex, even if you start hating that person. There is no need to aggravate the situation and your feelings.
• Don't use drugs and alcohol to get away from problems. Ultimately, this approach will be ineffective and will only create new problems. Don't get drunk or start taking drugs after a breakup.