Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 5: Take Care of Yourself
• Method 2 of 5: When You Are Together in Public
• Method 3 of 5: When you're alone together
• Method 4 of 5: Express yourself
• Method 5 of 5: Move on
• Tips
• Warnings

Love can be beautiful ... or terrible, depending on the context.If you fall in love with a girl who doesn't love you for whatever reason, follow these instructions to forget her and get back to normal.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: Take Care of Yourself

1. 1 Acknowledge your feelings. It is natural and normal to feel grief before embarking on acceptance. Feel free to admit that you are going through a difficult period, at least to yourself. Try to understand yourself as best you can and don't deny your emotions. Instead, just focus on taking control of them. SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Amy chan

   
   
   Relationship Coach Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after a relationship ends. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of people in just 2 years of work, and the camp has been noted by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

   Amy chan
   Relationship coach

   Feeling emotional pain after a breakup is a natural physical reaction. Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, says: “The same chemicals that make you feel deliciously in love at the beginning of a relationship make you suffer when it ends. Your brain has a "withdrawal" when this person is no longer around. "

   
   
2. 2 Distance yourself. Nothing helps you deal with the pain of not being able to be with this girl more than not spending time together. This does not mean that you should completely stop communicating, but you should see her less often, which may sound terrible, but in fact it is the best way to start life again.
   • If you are friends, stop taking the first step. Spend time with her only when she calls you; don't call her and ask her to spend time together. You will still meet from time to time, but in most cases, you will notice that your meetings have become much less frequent, and there is much more free time.
3. 3 Stop helping her. Nothing helps to show that you are “just friends” the way refusing to help another person does at the expense of yourself. Helping someone because you are attracted to that person will make you feel used and misunderstood. It is also important that if you please the girl, this can have two outcomes: either she thinks that you treat everyone this way and begins to take your services for granted, or she decides that you are trying to exchange your services for a possible date, and in this situation, both of you will be uncomfortable.
   • If you give her gifts for no reason (or simply because she said she wants something), pay for her in cafes and restaurants, offer your services as a driver, or treat her differently from other friends, then you are doing a favor and you should stop.
   • Do a little test on potential services. If you want to do something for the girl you're trying to forget, ask yourself if you would do it for a boyfriend. If not, then it is likely that you are trying to do her a favor and not be a good friend.
4. 4 Decline requests for services. If the girl is used to the fact that you are helping her and asks you to do her a favor, politely decline and suggest alternatives, such as suggesting people who can help her. Come up with a polite excuse if necessary, such as “I'm trying to spend less money” or “I need time to finish my homework / clean the apartment / call my family.” If she really values ​​your friendship, then she won't mind.
5. 5 Change your schedule. If you arrive at school a few minutes earlier, you can avoid meeting the object of your sympathy in the hallway or hallway.If you change your route around the school, you will also be less likely to meet with her. If you see her at work, try changing your work schedule so that your shifts are not the same.
6. 6 Change the company. Very often, the unavailable girl is part of your company. Try to spend time in a narrower circle, rather than with the whole company at once, so that you can see them as little as possible.
   • If you have friends outside of your main social circle that you don't interact with as often, consider spending more time with them. They will feel valuable and you can take your free time without this girl.
7. 7 Stop communication completely. If the thought of meeting her upsets you, you may want to stop communicating with her completely. Prepare some polite reasons (for example, "I'm doing a lot right now" or "I'm so tired after work today") so that you can delicately refuse her if she asks to meet. So over time, she will begin to communicate less and less with you and will spend time with those who have more time for her.

Method 2 of 5: When You Are Together in Public

1. 1 Try not to be alone. If you cannot stop communicating with your girlfriend (for example, because of work), use it for your own purposes. A business setting, such as work or the office at school, is the perfect place to connect emotionally with yourself. just communicate with this girl the same way you would communicate with everyone else. Show yourself and her that you don't have a special relationship, that you are just colleagues who work side by side.
   • Do not try to choose her as your partner, if necessary. When you work together, focus on the project.
2. 2 Strength in numbers. Among other things, there will be times when you have to be close to your love. You can avoid shocks and bad moods by interacting with groups of people rather than individuals to minimize the chances of you being alone with her.
   • For example, when the two of you are sitting together on the couch at a friend's house, it can be difficult not to notice her. Replace that with four people playing games on the same couch, and it’s a lot easier for you to pay attention to the rest.
   • Treat her the same way you treat other friends, then you will quickly release the tension. The point is to see her as just another girl.

Method 3 of 5: When you're alone together

1. 1 Prepare topics for conversation. Discuss your thoughts on any political, cultural, religious, or scientific topic that interests you. Even if your only interest is something simple, like video games or movies, research it. If you exchange information and opinions rather than emotions and attitudes, it will be much easier for you to stay calm and avoid painful topics without giving up on the girl's friendship.
   • Since you are already passionate about these topics, it will be easy for you to communicate on them when you have an attentive listener - in fact, it will be difficult for you to shut up.
2. 2 Always have an activity close at hand. Being together may be perceived as a date by some people, but it's important to avoid planning things like having a dinner together. Instead, think back to the times when you were alone with a girl in your house or in her car, and you had nothing to do. Carry a deck of cards with you, or offer to help each other with their homework. The lesson should be as prosaic as possible.
   • It is important to avoid situations in which ambiguous signals may arise, such as hugging on the couch or stargazing. Remember, you want to forget her, not make the situation worse. Always have a backup plan to avoid this forced romance.
3. 3 Meditate ahead of time. There are several benefits to meditation, not least its ability to clear the mind.Even a person with a storm of emotion inside can remain calm long enough to spend time with a friend if he or she plans ahead. Simply put, meditation is about breathing deeply and staying calm in a quiet environment where you can focus on yourself. Tell yourself that you can control the situation and focus on getting rid of your sympathy, and take that feeling with you when you go to meet her.

Method 4 of 5: Express yourself

1. 1 Make a list. If you can put your thoughts on paper, you can better manage them and also find an outlet for your emotions. Start with the obvious reasons why you think your relationship is doomed and write “our feelings are not mutual” at the top of the list. Complete the list with all the possible reasons, even if they seem unconvincing to you: different schedules, different religious views, people she likes but you don't like. The point is to prepare a strong case against relationships using the number of relationships. A dozen unconvincing reasons will help you alleviate your suffering as well as one compelling one.
   • Grow your list as you find new reasons. If you come up with a reason for when you are not at home, just try to remember it. If it is important, you will still remember it when you get home. Do not write it down anywhere for the time being.
2. 2 Keep your list to yourself. Do not show your words to anyone and do not leave them in places accessible to others. Keep it in a safe place at home. If you're lucky and have your own room, write your thoughts down there and hide the list in your best stash. Or find a place in the house where you can be alone for a while and write a list. Hide the list in a safe place where it cannot be found.
   • Write by hand, not on a computer. The computer file is too easy to find.
   • Never take the list with you to school or work. If someone finds him, your freedom will be violated, and you will only get worse.
3. 3 Rely on your list. Reread the list when you are upset or sad about a girl you have feelings for, or any other time you catch yourself thinking about her. If you see in front of you the reasons why you need to move on, you will receive the boost of energy that you need so much now.
4. 4 Talk to a trusted person. Most often, it can be a parent or other adult relative. One of the most effective ways to relieve pain is to share your feelings with another real person. If you have someone in your life whom you can completely trust, ask him or her to listen and support you. If you have a compassionate listener, you can take the weight off your shoulders.
5. 5 Consider psychotherapy. Not everyone can find the time and money for therapy, but if you are lucky, a few consultations with a therapist can help. Your therapist will be able to create an environment of safety and privacy so that you can share your thoughts and feelings face to face with another person, and will help you deal with them outside the office.
6. 6 Get creative. Art is the most powerful tool for expressing thoughts and emotions that humanity has created. This can be writing, poetry, essays, sculpture, painting, collage, singing, playing an instrument, writing music, or anything that combines the art of creation with the desire to be understood, whether or not you have talent. Whatever you choose, it should be a safe way for you to express your emotions and thoughts in the process of creation, not destruction.
   • Write a story of your feelings, from the day you met, to the steps you take to forget it and move on.
   • Write poems replacing metaphorical images with real people and emotions.
   • Take your paints and canvas and let your emotions guide your hand.
   • Meet with a friend and have a jam session.
   • If you're out of creativity, just write a letter describing what you want to say as honestly as possible, and tuck it along with your list when you're done.

Method 5 of 5: Move on

1. 1 Think objectively about the girl. It is easy to fill your heart with anger and even hate when you start forgetting it, but these feelings will not be beneficial. If you find yourself filled with resentment and bile, remind yourself that she is still human and that you had reasons to fall in love with her. Don't deny its positive qualities; just accept that you won't be together.
2. 2 Shift your focus. After you have come face to face with your grief and given yourself space and time to heal, it is important to fill that space and time with other things. Think about how long it took for you to suffer. Assume how many hours it cost you a week, and decide to spend that time on other activities. There won't be a better time to dream big and start a new project.
   • Grab a book you've long wanted to read, or even write your own. Visit a new club or volunteer on Saturdays. Expanding your horizons, you can remind yourself that the world is big, mysterious and beautiful, and this should never be forgotten for the sake of one person.
3. 3 Open your eyes. There are beautiful, friendly, funny and smart girls around you. Try to pay attention to them. Never forget that there are many fish in the sea. Don't look for new relationships; just enjoy how many attractive people around you that you did not notice.
   • Take time to sit on a park bench with a friend and (quietly!) Rate the girls who pass by; take a closer look at their outfits and how carefully many of them choose clothes and accessories. Just pay attention to many, not just one girl.
4. 4 Leave the past behind. As time passes, your grief will be replaced by acceptance, and you will start to look at your notes less and less. This is a sign that the time has come to complete the process and move on.
   • Save any creativity you create as a direct result of working on your earlier emotions. Set them aside in a place where they won't catch your eye, unless you want to. Over the years, you will be able to rejoice that you have kept them; now it's worth getting them out of sight.
   • Consider getting rid of your list and all other entries. You can burn them; you can cross out all the names and put the letters in bottles and then release them into the sea. Getting rid of your thoughts and feelings physically can have a powerful therapeutic effect.
   • Look for a couple. When attending social events, meet new girls or hang out with people you don't know well. Meet your friends and get to know their company. If you're meeting a cute girl, consider inviting her out for coffee right away. Even if nine girls say no, the tenth might agree, which is a great way to prove to yourself that all is not lost in your romantic life.

Tips

• Push yourself into action and don't let yourself get immersed in your feelings. Understanding your feelings is one thing, but wasting away with grief is another.
• Don't move too fast. Give yourself all the time and space you need. Some people deal with these situations quickly, while others take a long time.

Warnings

• Avoid negative and destructive thoughts and actions whenever possible. Instead, think about understanding, adapting, expressing, and manifesting.
• When you forget about your chosen one, you will see that your environment has changed. Friends can get closer or distant. Be ready for change and don't be afraid of it.