Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Organize Your Thoughts
• Method 2 of 4: Cross it out of your life
• Method 3 of 4: Start enjoying life again
• Method 4 of 4: Learn to Enjoy Being Alone
• Tips
• Warnings

} If weeks, months or even years after breaking up with your boyfriend, you only think about the happy minutes you spent with him, or dream of being in his arms again, it means that it's time to seriously take care of yourself, forget your ex and start enjoying life again ... If you want to forget your boyfriend, you need to cut all ties with him, start living your own life and stop comparing new men to your ex. Do you want to know how to do it? Just follow these steps.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Organize Your Thoughts

1. 1 Give yourself time to get sick. It's okay if you indulge in sadness for a while - do not think that after a breakup you need to immediately plunge into your usual affairs, start chatting with friends and do everything that you did before. Without giving yourself the opportunity to be alone or with a close friend, cry and think about everything that happened, you will not be able to put an end to the relationship and forget about your ex.
   • It's okay to be a little sad and hurt. Don't try to hide how much it hurts.
   • If you want to be alone, ask family and friends to leave you alone for a while. Just do not retire for a long time, otherwise you risk getting bogged down in heavy thoughts.
2. 2 Don't think about how good you were together. You will be able to remember the time spent together when you get rid of everything else that reminds you of him; someday these will be pleasant memories, but now they will only make you feel sad and lost. Try not to dream or replay the wonderful days you spent together.
   • In the future, after having been ill, you will be able to remember these special moments with gratitude, but not now.
3. 3 Remind yourself why it was over. Instead of thinking about how good it was for you, think about unpleasant experiences with your ex and the reasons why the relationship did not work out.Think about quarrels, incompatibilities, and other reasons for your breakup. You may miss him, but keep reminding yourself of why you weren't meant to be together.
   • You do not need to dwell on the negative that was between you - just remember the unpleasant moments every time you catch yourself on tender feelings towards your ex.
4. 4 Don't blame yourself. It's okay to analyze your own mistakes, but don't waste time blaming yourself for what happened. Even if it seems to you that you did something wrong and that some of your actions pushed the ex-boyfriend to break up, do not think about what would be the right thing for you to do. Accept that it's over and you can't turn back time.
   • To stop regretting the past is to take an important step towards forgetting the former. If you become obsessed with what could have been or what would be better for you to do, then you will be bogged down in the past and will not be able to think about the future.
5. 5 Think about all your virtues. List the qualities you like about yourself. When you're done with that list, make another one with your ex-boyfriend's flaws. Look at both lists and allow yourself to conclude that he is not worthy of you and you needed to part. Knowing that your ex is a pig and a jerk will give you confidence. You will be happy that you broke up with a person who is in no way suitable for the role of your lover.
   • A list of the qualities you like about yourself will also help you become more confident, which is exactly what you need when experiencing a breakup.
6. 6 Try to look at the world positively. A positive attitude may be the last thing you think about right now, but once you understand the benefits of breaking up, you can quickly start enjoying life and building your future. Discard negative, dark, and sentimental thoughts and replace them with positive reflections on what you expect from life, the pleasure of interacting with family and friends, and anything that gives you a ray of hope.
   • Every time you catch yourself on a negative thought, try to oppose it with two positive ones.
   • Spending time with positive people can also help you feel more energized. Look for those who help you to be happy with your life and yourself.
   • Make a list of everything that you are grateful for in life - and it will cease to seem so bleak to you.

Method 2 of 4: Cross it out of your life

1. 1 Get rid of things that remind you of him. First, put all of your ex-boyfriend's belongings in a box or suitcase and return them to him immediately. It's good if your boyfriend or girlfriend can take them so that you don't need to see your ex. This will keep you from trying to touch his things or savor his scent. Then get rid of everything that reminds you of your shared past - photos, discs that he recorded for you, his gifts and souvenirs from joint travels.
   • Yes, it hurts to realize that you are losing everything you have left of him, but you must understand that you are doing the right thing. As you do this, you will experience a sense of accomplishment — and this will be the first step on the path to healing.
   • If you really want to preserve the memory of this relationship so that you can mentally return to it someday, put it in a box and remove it from your eyes - for example, put it in a pantry or take it to a friend. Just avoid the temptation to open it at all costs.
   Specialist Answer Question

   What's the best way to forget your ex?

   
   

   

   Amy chan

   Relationship Coach Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after a relationship ends. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of people in just 2 years of work, and the camp has been noted by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp replies: “The best thing you can do is get rid of all things, reminding you of your ex... If at first it is too daunting task, put them in a box and ask a friend if you can leave it with him. "

   
   
2. 2 Stop communicating with him. It may feel like it’s easier for you to talk to your ex because you miss him so much, but by doing this you’ll make yourself a million times worse. Every time you hear his voice, you will experience sadness, regret, bitterness and many other negative emotions that will hammer you to the ground. If you do not have to communicate with him for objective reasons, for example, to decide what to do with a shared car or apartment, completely stop talking and meeting with him.
   • Don't think it's wise to date your ex-boyfriend once a week or two to have a cup of coffee with him. It will only hurt you more. If your ex insists that you need to “stay friends,” tell him that it doesn't work for you. You can become "just a friend" when and if you will be ready for it, but it can take months or even years.
   • Stop calling and texting your ex. Refrain, even if some thought reminds you of him.
   • While you probably want him to think that you don't care so much about his presence, avoid any social events where he may appear for a while.
   • Avoiding it at all costs is more difficult than accidentally bumping into it from time to time, but it will be much better for you.
3. 3 Don't use social media. If your ex actively uses social networks, then you need to visit Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki and other sites less often, where you can find out what he thinks about, what he says or does. Reading his posts and viewing his photos will drive you crazy, make you worry about how quickly he forgot about everything and moved on, or suspect that everything he writes says that he has already found another.
   • If you can't do without social media, remove it from your contacts if necessary. This may seem immature, but it’s better than staring longingly at his Facebook page for hours.
4. 4 Don't ask about him. Even if you and your ex-boyfriend have a million friends in common, try not to ask them how he is doing or, even worse, if he is dating someone - this will make you want to be with him even more. And if you constantly ask about him, he will most likely find out about it.
   • If you really have a lot of mutual friends, you might even ask them to mention him less often in your presence. This may sound like a last resort, but they will understand you and try to do their best.
5. 5 Try not to do what reminds you of him - for now. If you really want to quickly forget your ex and cut him out of your life, stop doing what you loved to do together, even if you enjoy doing it alone. If you enjoyed hiking with your ex, it may be worth putting off your hiking for a while; if you listened to the Rolling Stones with him, give up classic rock.
   • This also applies to your favorite restaurants and hangouts. Do your best not to think about him and not regret that he is not around.
   • Over time, you can continue to do whatever you want, but for now, you'd better find new things to do.
   • If you regularly watch some TV series together, take a break from them and read a book better.
   • Of course, you shouldn't give up absolutely all the activities you loved just because it will help you forget your ex. Just look for new things to do that won't remind you of it all the time.
6. 6 Change your surroundings. If you really want to cut your ex out of your life, try changing your surroundings to get rid of the feeling of being around.Move furniture in a room or apartment, buy a couple of plant pots to decorate your home. Hang a new painting on the wall. This way you will not constantly remember how you spent time here with your boyfriend.
   • if you really need a change of scenery, take a short trip or even a mini vacation. A trip to a completely unfamiliar place that has nothing to do with your boyfriend will help you get him out of your head.

Method 3 of 4: Start enjoying life again

1. 1 Seek support from your family. Unlike your ex-boyfriend, relatives will always love you and will always be there. Now that you are single, you can devote more time to relationships with loved ones. Go to family dinners more often, help your parents around the house, have meaningful conversations with him, as well as with your sisters and brothers. This will greatly improve your post-breakup condition, and you will have something to look forward to.
   • If you live away from loved ones, you can still try to communicate with them more. Call them more often by phone and Skype, send greeting cards on special occasions.
2. 2 Enjoy chatting with your girlfriends. This will make you feel better and speed up the healing process. As sad as you may be after a breakup, having fun with your friends is the best medicine for a broken heart. Therefore, go shopping, to the cinema, enjoy pleasant conversations over a bottle of white wine. Getting rid of serious thoughts for at least an hour or two is guaranteed to lift your spirits.
   • Tell yourself that now that you don't have to take care of your boyfriend all the time, you have the opportunity to focus on your relationship with your girlfriends.
   • Open up. Tell your friends how you feel and let them help you.
   • Please remember to have fun: if in the company of your friends all you do is cry to them about how much you miss your ex-boyfriend, you will soon get tired and tire them.
   • You can also use your worry time to get to know other people better. If you've always gotten along well with a classmate, invite her over for ice cream or a cup of coffee.
3. 3 Stick to a busy schedule. Maybe a lot of things to do is the last thing you dream of, but it's the easiest way to forget about your ex. If you sit at home in the dark all day, you will naturally spend hours contemplating how your ex is doing. But if you have a busy schedule of fun parties, vigorous athletic training, and work or study and a couple of free hours for personal interests, then there will simply be no time to mourn a failed relationship.]
   • Try to plan your time so that there is at least one event every day that you will look forward to. This will give you the opportunity not to feel so hopeless.
   • Busy schedule not means that you need to work without a breath or have fun with friends. You should always have some time to be alone and think - it just shouldn't be too much.
4. 4 Go in for sports. The idea of ​​doing body work to forget your ex-boyfriend may seem silly to you, but starting to take the time to exercise can be a relief. Exercising as little as 30 minutes a day can bring significant benefits to your mind and body. If you're really trying to forget your ex, make it a rule to exercise regularly - whatever you enjoy.
   • Add exercise times to your schedule. This will help you keep your busy schedule.
   • Don't do what you hate. Choose the sport that suits you, whether it's running, power yoga, gym or swimming, and do it.
5. 5 Stay at home less. You need to get out of the house as often as possible, even if you just want to be alone outside the house.Instead of running on a treadmill, take a pleasant run in the sun. Instead of doing your homework or reading at home, go to a coffee shop so you don't feel so lonely. Do everything that is possible, not at home, but in a sunny park, where you can be "alone", being surrounded by people.
   • Spending more time in the sun and breathing fresh air will make you feel morally stronger.
   • When talking on the phone with a friend or girlfriend, do not sit in a dark room. Better take your phone and go for a walk. This way you can chat and enjoy the sun and warm up at the same time.
6. 6 Enjoy your interests and hobbies. Don't let the breakup rob you of what you love. The fact that you are sad about the end of the relationship does not mean that you need to give up all activities that brought you pleasure and filled your life with meaning. If you enjoyed going to fitness on Tuesdays, don't skip classes. If you enjoyed your Sunday watercolor painting lessons, don't give up on your habit. If you stop doing what you love, you will only become even more sad.
   • It may seem that doing the things that made you happy before has become difficult and even impossible. Wrong - you will see that you are able to enjoy your favorite activities again.
   • Without doing what you love, you will forget who you are. Remind yourself that before you met your ex-boyfriend, you were a whole person, and now it's time to pull yourself together and be the same again.
7. 7 Don't drink too much. You can have a glass of wine with your girlfriends or go to a friend's birthday party to relax, but don't drink too much. After drinking, you are likely to get upset, cry and ruin the evening for yourself and those around you. This may sound a bit over-the-top, but don't drink too much until you have calmed down enough to be able to drink without unpleasant consequences.
   • In difficult situations, many people turn to alcohol, but this rarely helps anyone. If you've had a lot of drinking with friends in the past, think of new non-alcoholic activities you can do with your friends.

Method 4 of 4: Learn to Enjoy Being Alone

1. 1 Start enjoying your time alone.. Before you can truly forget your ex, you need to re-learn how to enjoy your own company. Having a busy schedule and having fun with friends and family will make you feel better, but you should be able to be content with spending an evening reading a good book or watching a movie.
   • Set goals for yourself that you want to achieve. You may dream of getting ready for a half marathon, finishing an epic novel, or learning French. By coming up with challenging tasks and completing them successfully, you will become self-confident and begin to look for opportunities to be alone with yourself.
   • Keep a personal journal. This will help you reflect on what has happened to you and celebrate your successes every day.
   • Meditate. This is a great experience to spend time alone and will help you not only relax, but also feel more collected and learn to control your own body. Meditation is not a group activity.
2. 2 Find a new hobby. Continuing to do whatever you liked and taking care of yourself, you can find a completely new job that will make your life more meaningful and force you to think in new ways. Try photography, poetry, drama, and any other individual activities that have always attracted you but were afraid to do.
   • Talk to close friends and family members who have serious hobbies. They can probably help you find a new activity that will fill your life with meaning.
3. 3 Enjoy not having a pair. It may seem like it's impossible to enjoy being alone when all you do is think of your ex, but you should still use this time for light-hearted fun without having to think about every little thing you say or do. Get smart, go to discos with friends, flirt with guys, and just do things your ex didn't want to do, like riding a bike or reading in a cafe.
   • Ask unmarried girlfriends for a couple of tips. They know how to deal with loneliness.
   • When you go out to people, dress up. Don't get hung up on your looks - just wear something new and flashy that you would never wear in front of your ex.
4. 4 Don't enter into new relationships until you are ready for them. The worst thing you can do when trying to forget your ex is to start dating the first guy you meet immediately. You may think that dating a new man will help you to forget about your pain, but in fact, it will only make you worse, because you will constantly compare the new guy with your ex and think about what he falls short of.
   • Not only will you complicate the healing process, but you will end up hurting a new guy who really likes you.
   • You will know that you are ready for a relationship when, when you meet a new man, you feel the urge to communicate with him and get to know him better, and stop thinking about your ex.

Tips

• If this helps you, delete his number, and then call your friends and try to arrange a meeting with them.
• If he cheated on you or treated you badly when you were together and you want to tell him what you think about it, plan ahead. An effective statement should be short and to the point, but caustic enough that he realizes that he has offended you and regrets it.
• If you broke up amicably and it seems to you that you can remain friends, do not behave aggressively towards your ex after the breakup, otherwise further friendship will become impossible.
• If he calls or writes to you, having already announced that everything is over between you, do not answer his calls and messages. So you let him know that you are no longer interested in him.
• When giving his ex to his belongings, ask him to give yours. So he will understand that you are finally breaking up with him, you want to get rid of everything that is left of your relationship, and are ready to move on.
• Don't go to places that remind you of the moments you spent with him.
• You shouldn't renew a relationship with someone who hurt you.
• Don't keep things at home that remind you of him, such as gifts from him.

Warnings

• Do not return to the one who humiliated you! No matter how many times he apologizes or begs for forgiveness, remember how you felt the next time he flirted with another girl or called you fat, and be strong.
• If you are not ready to sort things out with him, do not do it. You run the risk of getting stuck, babbling, and feeling pathetic even when you know it’s not true.