Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Meeting an Introvert
• Method 2 of 3: Spending Time with an Introvert
• Method 3 of 3: How to communicate with an introvert
• Tips
• Warnings

Relationships with an introvert can be very difficult if you are an extrovert yourself or simply unfamiliar with the nature of introverts. They do not like to be in large unfamiliar companies, while they themselves behave very calmly and restrainedly. So, be patient: there are a myriad of gestures that you can observe to build a good relationship with an introvert.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Meeting an Introvert

1. 1 Stay away from noisy companies. It's much easier to get to know an introvert away from crowded places. If you and the introvert are already good acquaintances, invite him to take a walk or keep you company when you need to on business - such communication will not seem intrusive and will provide you with the opportunity to get to know each other better.
   • If you don't know an introvert well enough, try to fix it by walking up to him when he looks relaxed and no one is around.
2. 2 Find out his opinion. Introverts don't often talk about their own lives. Try to start a conversation about what really interests you. Ask a few direct questions, and it’s quite possible that the introvert will trust and open up to you if you give him the opportunity.
   • If it doesn't open up right away, don't be discouraged. It takes him time, and you need to be persistent. Try to talk on a different day and on a different topic.
3. 3 Show your romantic interest with body language. Often, introverts do not take the first step because they think too much about the situation and analyze it, weighing various factors. However, you can easily communicate your interest and your intentions to the person using the right body language.
   • Maintain eye contact for a little longer than usual, or try to make eye contact if you are in a company and neither of you is talking to the other person during this time. This will show that you want to not only communicate, but also to pay special attention to him.
   • Lightly touch his shoulder or knee as you speak one-on-one. So the introvert will understand that not only his words are important to you, but also his presence.
   • Touch his shoulder or upper back when meeting an introvert in a public place. So you will not only calm him down in such a chaotic environment, but also show your concern.
4. 4 Start your conversation with general topics. An introvert will make contact much easier if you have common topics of discussion. This is because you can get straight to the point (the preferred way of communication for introverts), instead of having small talk before it.
   • Find out what he likes to do, how he prefers to spend time. If you have mutual friends, you can find out this information from them. This way, you can easily discuss topics that are of interest to your introvert.
   • Don't pretend that you are only interested in what is his. Introverts are usually very observant, so the person is sure to catch a catch if you pretend to be interested in something that captivates them.

Method 2 of 3: Spending Time with an Introvert

1. 1 Spend time away from noisy companies. An introvert needs to "reboot" from time to time in order to continue healthy communication with society. For example, it is best to spend time with a potential or current boyfriend in quiet, peaceful places, alone with each other.
   • Watching a movie is one of the great options for a relaxing, stress-free time for an introvert. And after the film is over, you can discuss it together.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Jessica Engle, MFT, MA

   
   
   Relationship Coach Jessica Ingle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009 after completing her Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. She is a licensed family and marriage psychotherapist and registered play therapist with over 10 years of experience.

   Jessica Engle, MFT, MA
   Relationship coach

   Take the time to get to know the introvert. Jessica Ingle, founder of the Bay Area Dating Coach, says: “Just because an introvert is taciturn doesn't mean something is wrong with him. Ask an introvert about his inner world and you may be surprised at how engaging he will be about himself. What happens inside is not always reflected on the surface - over time, his personality, talents and strengths will certainly be revealed. "

   
   
2. 2 During noisy parties and meetings, give the introvert some time to be alone. Sometimes your boyfriend needs to move away from noisy companies or events with a large number of people for a while - in order to regain his strength, sometimes even a ten-minute break is enough.
   • Leave him alone for this time - he will return as soon as he is ready for this.
3. 3 Avoid noisy and crowded places. Instead of a dinner party, invite just one or two friends over. Introverts feel more comfortable with themselves and in small groups that give them the opportunity to communicate openly and be heard by others.
4. 4 Noisy, crowded places should be avoided. Introverts can get nervous and anxious when they find themselves in large companies. They may seem like distant, alienated people who are distracted by what is happening around them. This behavior is due to the fact that they are trying to cope with external influences instead of focusing on you.
   • If you notice that an introvert is losing eye contact or looking into the distance without participating in communication, check with him, perhaps he needs a short break. Most likely, an introvert will take this opportunity to think things over and sort out their thoughts.
5. 5 Try to actively communicate in a company with an introvert. Introverts usually do not participate in group discussions themselves. So try asking them the question directly to get the person back into the conversation. He will appreciate your directness and willingness to help him fit into the conversation and the team.

Method 3 of 3: How to communicate with an introvert

1. 1 Avoid closed-ended questions that can be answered in monosyllables - yes or no. Try asking the person open-ended questions, for example: "What do you think about ...?", "How do you feel about ...?", "Why do you think that ...?" Questions like these will help the introvert understand that he has time to think and answer honestly, which is likely to help start an engaging conversation.
   • Some introverts liven up with people they know, while others seem completely detached. Don't give up too quickly, but if someone repeatedly answers your questions in monosyllables ("yes" or "no"), this can be taken as a clue that the person needs time.
2. 2 Pay attention to facial expressions and body language. Introverts don't always say what they think. You need to be very careful to understand how they are feeling.
   • A light, modest smile is a good sign. However, a slight fake smile can be a sign of retreat.
   • If they cross their arms over their chest, then they are not in the mood to talk to anyone.
   • If they copy your body position, it means that they are focused on you and feel involved in the conversation.
3. 3 Avoid excessive compliments. Introverts usually don't like being the center of attention. So, don't worry and calmly say that this is completely natural and that your date is not about just complimenting each other.
   • For example, it is better to say, "I really like the knitting on your sweater," instead of, "I could look into your amazing eyes for ages."
4. 4 Try to have a deep, soulful conversation. Introverts do not like small and empty conversations, for them deeper, more personal conversations make much more sense. For example, instead of discussing how terrible the weather was all week, it is better to share what the evening thunderstorm reminded you of.
   • If something goes wrong, feel free to change the subject, but remember that introverts will open up more to you if you can start a conversation with some particularly personal topic.

Tips

• Be friendly but not pushy. If you are afraid that you are causing discomfort to the interlocutor, so ask him: “Do I make you feel uncomfortable? If so, tell me and I promise I won't be offended. "
• Do not violate a person's personal space, boundaries and silence. In an introverted situation, such things do not always indicate that something is wrong. This is a common need for introverts.
• Remember, introverts are great listeners and will always pay attention to what you say and do. Therefore, if you are unhappy, they will immediately understand it.

Warnings

• Typical start-up options are not always suitable for introverts. Try asking them more personal questions by showing your attention.
• Understand that introverts are not always comfortable engaging in light “weather” conversations.
• Remember, introverts need to recuperate after hanging out with big, noisy companies. Therefore, if they say they are not in the mood for communication, do not pressure them.
• Some people find it difficult to say “I like you”, just as it is difficult to say just “leave me alone”. These are two different sides of the same coin, especially if the person does not feel your attention.