Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Find a topic of conversation
• Method 2 of 3: Listen Carefully
• Method 3 of 3: Support her
• Tips

Sometimes something as simple as having a phone call with a girl seems like a very daunting task, especially if you are not used to talking on the phone. Sometimes young people get lost and do not know how to react to the girl's words, what to say, how to express their thoughts. But once you learn a few simple secrets, you will be looking forward to your next phone call!

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Find a topic of conversation

1. 1 Ask a lot of questions. This is perhaps the most important part of the conversation, no matter who you are talking to: your girlfriend, your grandfather, or your neighbor. Try to ask more open-ended questions, avoid questions with a definite answer. The point is to start a conversation about a topic, so ask open-ended questions that can turn into a discussion.
   • The easiest place to start is to ask how your day went. When a person is asked how his day went, he often replies, “Thank you, good!” Without even really thinking about the question. But such an answer will not lead to discussion, so try to ask this question: "what was interesting today?" It may not lead to an interesting conversation, but it will definitely lead to at least some discussion.
   • Talk about common hobbies or common acquaintances. This is a great way to start a discussion. Ask if she watched the last episode of your favorite TV show with her, if she read the book that you recommended to her, if she saw something interesting lately.
   • Ask for advice or support. It is important for a girl to know that you care about her opinion. If you never ask her for advice, she may feel unnecessary. Of course, no one likes to be approached with advice, but if you are puzzled by something, do not hesitate and do not be afraid to seem vulnerable, turn to her for advice.
   • Ask what she dreamed of as a child. This is a slightly unusual question, but it will demonstrate your interest in her life, in her past. Perhaps this question will give you some perspective in the future!
2. 2 Tell her a joke. If something funny or unusual happened to you today, share your impressions with her. But it's important to follow what you say. The girl is unlikely to be delighted if you only talk about negative moments.
3. 3 Make plans for the near future. Think about what interesting things you could do together, where you could go. If you already have plans, tell her that you would like to go to a concert or theater with her. After your words, the girl will be delighted and feel needed.
4. 4 Tell her about your goals. Share your dreams and goals for the future with her. She will see that you are an ambitious and purposeful person.
5. 5 Gossip. This is a pretty interesting part of the conversation! Don't tell anything too frank or violent about other people, just talk about mutual acquaintances.
6. 6 Ask counter questions to her story. This will show her that you are listening to her carefully. Plus, it saves you the hassle of coming up with a new topic of conversation.

Method 2 of 3: Listen Carefully

1. 1 Try to understand her. Being attentive to the words of another when speaking is called “active listening”. The bottom line is that you strive to understand the person, to understand what he is talking about. This is perhaps the most important aspect of the conversation. It's not so important to strike up a conversation with a girl as to show that you are interested in listening to her. This will help you gain her trust and, of course, bring you closer.
2. 2 Focus on her. In normal relationships, there are times when one partner needs more support and attention than the other. An attentive listener will allow the other to dominate the conversation without interrupting.
3. 3 Be careful. If you don't know how to express your interest in what the other person is saying, don't try to fake it. During a conversation, you can think about your own problems, and then you will ignore half of the story. If a girl notices that you are not listening to her, she may be offended.
4. 4 Sometimes say some nonsensical expressions and phrases that show that you are listening to it. Just say, "yes, I understand, this is really difficult." The girl will understand that you are listening to her, which means that you are not indifferent to her. You do not need to come up with anything special, after your short comment, the girl will continue her story.
5. 5 Show your feelings for her. If she just told her how she watched her friends fight, you don't need to say, "Oh, your friends are just assholes, they don't appreciate you." The point is, she loves her friends and your comment won't make her happy. Better say: "yes, this time they acted stupidly." Such a comment will show that you are listening to her carefully, but at the same time do not blame her friends or give advice if you are not asked to do so.
6. 6 Ask her to continue the story. For example, insert the following phrases: "tell me something else about this" or "this is quite interesting, I would like to know more about it", "how did you feel?", "What happened next?"

Method 3 of 3: Support her

1. 1 Ask about something that is relevant to the conversation. This will show her that you listened to her carefully and that it is important for you to know what is happening to her. Try asking, "how are you at work?", "Is your mom feeling better?" or "have you finished that book yet?"
2. 2 Do not go to her with advice if she does not ask for it. Many people talk about their problems in order to find a solution. But women often talk about problems to be sympathized with rather than offering advice. When a girl tells you about problems and troubles, you should not offer her solutions to these problems. If she wants to ask you for advice, she will tell you about it. Most often, a girl shares her experiences with you so that you feel sorry for her and sympathize with her.
3. 3 Show that you care about her feelings and experiences. Of course, there are situations when you really need to find a solution, but most often you need sympathy and support, then the girl will not feel so unhappy and lonely. Do not get too carried away, express words of support and let the girl continue her story.
4. 4 Don't belittle the girl's feelings. Do not say phrases like: "you take it too close to your heart", "don't worry", "tomorrow you will feel better", "this is nothing", "there is no reason to be so upset." You may not feel like the girl needs to speak out and make sure that she will be pitied. Don't belittle her feelings. Also, don't be too rational. Frustrated people think irrationally under the influence of emotion. Respect her feelings, don't tell her that her feelings are unfounded, and don't offer a rational solution when she doesn't ask for it. Your main task now is to listen and speak words of encouragement.

Tips

• It is important to understand that she should also contribute to the conversation. She, too, should find words of support and be able to listen to you carefully. If you notice that she is not trying to do her bit, but only constantly complains, find an unobtrusive way to hint to her about it. Say: "sometimes it seems to me that I am the only one trying to keep our conversation going" or "I feel that lately I have been making efforts to maintain a relationship, maybe I am wrong, but for some reason I think so." If she doesn't take your statements seriously, it may be worth reconsidering your relationship.
• Switch to other means of communication. Some people get very nervous when they have a phone call. If you feel anxious, try to diversify your communication, talk on Skype, communicate on social networks, write SMS. Show that you are not avoiding communication with her, but that you like communication in a different format.
• Avoid endless conversations. If you are upset or have problems, it is important to discuss it. But do not constantly chat on the phone, coming up with new topics for discussion. Don't wait for an awkward pause followed by a long silence. Tell each other the most important and interesting things, and then say goodbye. Remember that it is best to talk about important things in person.