Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Does your friend want to spend time with you?
• Part 2 of 4: How Supportive is Your Friend?
• Part 3 of 4: How does your friend feel about you?
• Part 4 of 4: Make a Decision
• Tips
• Warnings

If you are not sure if your friend is really your friend, then something happened that caused you doubts. Your insecurity calls the friendship into question, and only when you figure out what really bothers you, you will understand whether this relationship is worth any effort. So, do you have a devotee friend or not?

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Does your friend want to spend time with you?

1. 1 Spend time with your friend. This is a normal and intended part of friendship. This will tell you if the person is actually willing to make an effort for your friendship. How does a friend react to an offer to hang out? Here's what to look out for:
   • If your friend is giving you their time, that's a good sign. True friends make time for each other, don't get hurt, and don't act like they want to be elsewhere. Of course, sometimes it happens that a friend can be elementary busy, and it's okay if he can make time for communication whenever possible. For example, during breaks or lunch, perhaps on weekends, while on vacation, and so on.
   • If a friend does not want to spend time with you or every time finds reasons for refusal, then for you this should be a warning sign that he is not very eager to be in your company. If you have agreed to go somewhere together, but your friend is constantly changing plans, this is also a rather eloquent sign. Understand that no one is "constantly busy" - this is just an excuse that shows that the person does not want to prioritize you.
   • If a friend almost constantly interrupts your plans together, and this does not sound like a joke, then in fact he is not such a good friend to you.
2. 2 See what happens if you try to hang out with a friend who is signaling to you that he doesn't want to be in your company. Get behind him. This may seem like a daunting task, but you might ask, for example, "How are you today?" And just walk with your friend. Pay attention to his reaction and comfort level. If this is your true friend, he will be glad to be with you. And if not, then your so-called friend may grumble, not speak to you, shrug, or take a quick step to get rid of you.
3. 3 Invite a friend to a party or special occasion at your home. See if he accepts the invitation. If a person does come to your party, pay attention to his behavior: is he friendly with you or ignores you, preferring a table with snacks and drinks to your company, and leaves early, taking a bag of sweets with him? Since you are the party organizer or the center of attention when the event takes place at your home, a good friend will be friendly and will spend as much time as possible with you. A bad friend will take the opportunity to get what he wants and quickly leave without even saying goodbye.

Part 2 of 4: How Supportive is Your Friend?

1. 1 Remember that a true friend is not someone who will always speak the truth to your face. A true friend will never say bad things about you behind his back and will not allow others to talk like that. This section presents some "tests" that you can use to observe your friend's behavior when you are not around. These tests are optional and you can try one, two, or each of them, or you can just skip this section and do what you feel comfortable with. Focus on your feelings, so if you need to, just go to the third part.
2. 2 Observe how your friend behaves when he does not know that you are around. This will give you an opportunity to know what kind of people your friend is talking to, as well as if they have a habit of discussing you or any of your close friends. If you know the meeting place of their company, go there and just observe, without drawing attention to yourself and keeping some distance. Do not pretend that you are watching the company, and if your friend is not such a good friend, he probably won't even notice you. You may hear unflattering comments about you or someone close to you.
   • Watch for both verbal and physical and emotional prompts.
3. 3 Think about how reliable your friend is. A good and trustworthy friend will not discuss you and spread gossip or worse, slander you. Does your friend keep all your secrets? Have you ever heard from other people that you only told this friend?
   • Check your friend. Tell him about some made-up secret and see if there is any gossip about it. Your "secret" should be scandalous enough, but shouldn't involve anyone other than you.
4. 4 Arrange a live test for a friend. This is completely optional, and if you find it unpleasant, strange, or undesirable, just skip this step.If you think this might help, and you have someone willing to help, then you might consider this option. So, test: invite a classmate or colleague to talk about you in an unflattering manner with a friend you want to test, while recording the conversation on a voice recorder or transmitting its content orally. If there is no way to record the conversation, then you need to observe the entire scene when the person starts to speak not very well about you. If a friend defends you is a great sign of loyalty, but if he agrees and begins to criticize or insult you, then this person is not your true friend.

Part 3 of 4: How does your friend feel about you?

1. 1 Be wary of a friend who forces you to do something this way or when he wants to. If only submission is expected of you, no matter how you feel or what you prefer to do, then such a person does not respect you and is looking for an ordinary henchman. This is a prime example of being used and the classic sign of a controlling personality. It is almost impossible to be good friends with such a person, because you never know if he is friends with you for profit or because you are really interesting to him.
2. 2 Think about how you feel when you talk to this person. Can you be yourself or do you feel like you need to behave in a "certain way" or control your every word? With a real friend, you can be yourself, and he will not judge you for funny quirks, strange sayings and atypical perception of the world. A true friend will accept you for who you are, and you will not have to be careful with him and be careful in what you say. When you do not need to be restrained in your judgments, then you are with the right person.
   • A friend is someone who gives you the freedom to be yourself. And if things are different, then this is not true friendship.
3. 3 Move away from your friend temporarily. Does your friend ask why you are doing this, does he ask about you? Or does he seem to be relieved that you are not spinning under your feet? This can be extremely important when trying to determine how much the person cares about you, because only the person who hears your silence and notices your absence is truly your friend.
4. 4 Think about what happens when you need help. True friends stay by your side no matter what. Difficulty is a good indicator of true friendship. When you experience problems and difficulties, you only lose those friends who only played the role of such. Such people are not worth your time or effort, because they want to get the most out of their friendships for themselves and nothing more. A true friend stays with you, supports and loves you no matter what happens. A good friend is someone who will share with you both joy and sadness, and will always support you in both cases.
   • A good friendship is one in which each friend needs only what a person can give of himself, and not their material well-being, their connections or their power. Friendship is the intangible "I understand you, you understand me."

Part 4 of 4: Make a Decision

1. 1 Analyze the information you received and evaluate your friendship using the suggestions above. Does your friend seem real to you or not? Are you comfortable and happy around this person, or are you uncomfortable, controlled, or unhappy? Does your friend inspire and motivate you, or does he make you anxious and anxious? Do you have evidence that this person supports you or that, on the contrary, he is slandering you? Remember that it is better not to have a friend at all than to have a bad friend, and that you will definitely find a new one if this one turns out to be fake.In addition, sometimes your circle of friends as a whole can decrease in size but increase in value, so let the quality of the relationship be your guide.
   • When making a decision, keep in mind that if you start to doubt your friendship, this is already a good reason to think. As a rule, a loyal friend is the person whose loyalty does not raise your doubts.

Tips

• If your friend finds out what you are up to, he may accuse you of unreliability and say that "before this incident he always liked you." If you do not trust him, then you should not maintain friendly relations with such a person.
• If you think your friend is lying, then in order to convict him of lying, you must have evidence.

Warnings

• Don't try to read a friend's diary. People write down who they are and what they think in a journal, and this often changes from day to day, depends on mood, and is not necessarily a true reflection of his general feelings about the other person. This is all complicated, and in fact, you shouldn't do it and determine the status of the relationship based on it.
• If you ask other friends to talk to this friend, they may tell him that you are trying to find out something.