Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: How to calm your girlfriend or girlfriend
• Method 2 of 2: How to calm down a friend or colleague
• Tips
• Warnings

All people cry from time to time, but usually women cry much more often than men. If you happen to bump into a crying woman, there are some things you can do to make her feel better (whether she is a close person, just a friend, or a colleague). Meeting a crying person will strengthen your courage and help both of you feel better.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: How to calm your girlfriend or girlfriend

1. 1 Assess the situation. There are endless reasons why a woman or girl might cry. Maybe she is upset, exhausted, or maybe she doesn’t feel well, or it’s generally tears of happiness. Before trying to help her, it is necessary to understand the situation in order to understand how appropriate it will be to try to calm her down. Here are some reasons why you might not be the right person to calm her down:
   • If you, too, were influenced by a situation that offended her. If you, too, are anxious, frightened, or resentful about a situation that brought her to tears, you are unlikely to be able to help her.In this case, you can try to find someone who can help you both cope with what happened.
   • If these are tears of happiness. Scientists are not yet sure exactly what the reasons are, but sometimes people who feel an incredible surge of happiness start crying, and they can't control it (just like people experience uncontrollable sadness or fear). In this case, you should congratulate your friend or loved one, and not try to calm him down.
   • If she cries because you fought with her. Before you start to calm her down, you need to calm down yourself, at least for a short time, in order to be sure that the argument and quarrel will not start anew.
2. 2 Try to calm her down. If there is no good reason not to get involved in this matter, it is best to try to help the crying woman. Ignoring the person who is crying can be very damaging to their emotional health. Helping her calm down can help her relieve her sadness much faster, and it can greatly strengthen your relationship.
3. 3 Be a good listener. This point should not be underestimated. Tears are an important part of communication, and you should always pay attention to what the girl is trying to say. Be an active listener, verbally respond to the words of the interlocutor, do not interrupt him. To become a good listener, allow her to experience what she is feeling right now. Just be there.
   • Keep in mind that calming a person does not mean changing their feelings.
   • Be careful and try not to translate the topic of the conversation to yourself. Try to focus your attention on her, and not on yourself. Even if she does not behave the way you expected, this does not mean at all that she should be sad further, that she does not deserve support and attention.
   • Avoid the following phrases: "If I were (a) in your place ...", "Have you tried ..." or "When I had this, I did not attach such great importance to it."
4. 4 Don't try to ease her pain or talk her into not crying. Tears are often emotionally relieving, especially if they were caused by something serious. Having cried, a tired or distressed person relaxes mentally and physically. Suppressing emotions will not make a person feel better. Even if you are not very comfortable, let her cry a lot. She will most likely feel better afterward.
   • Try to avoid commanding tone, negative statements, imperative mood. Stay away from phrases like "don't cry", "you shouldn't be upset", "it's not so bad."
   • It won't help her that she knows the answers to her questions. So don't try to tell her what she should and shouldn't do to solve her problems. Do not try to prove that you know very well and understand how she feels - otherwise she will think that her feelings are belittling.
   • People who cry because of mental health problems (such as persistent anxiety or depression) may feel worse afterwards, rather than better. If you think the girl is crying because of some mental health problem, you still need to offer her help and support, but you should also invite her to see a psychologist or psychotherapist so that he can prescribe the necessary treatment.
5. 5 Share her sorrow. Show that you understand her pain, acknowledge her, and empathize with the girl. You can use the following phrases:
   • "Awful ... I'm so sorry it all happened this way!"
   • "I understand it must be very painful."
   • "It sounds just awful. I'm so sorry."
   • "No wonder you're so upset. This situation is really very difficult."
   • "I'm sorry that all this happened to you."
6. 6 Use non-verbal techniques to calm down the crying woman. The upset person is much better at taking non-verbal signs of support and empathy, rather than words.Nodding, correct facial expressions and facial expressions, eye contact, a slight tilt towards this person - all this will help her to understand that you are worried about her problem and care about her.
   • Often, offering a napkin or handkerchief to a girl is seen as a sign of concern, but sometimes a girl can interpret this gesture as a hint that she will stop crying. Therefore, it is worth offering the girl napkins only if she herself asks you about it (or it seems to you that she is looking for them).
7. 7 Consider whether physical contact would be appropriate. Some people are embarrassed by physical contact, and some become even more worried about it. You can hug a girl if you know she will like the idea. Hugging almost always helps relieve stress. There are other types of physical contact that are appropriate in this situation: take the girl's hands, touch her shoulder, straighten her hair, kiss her forehead. Do what she likes, based on the status of your relationship with her, of course, and always monitor her reactions. Be prepared to back down if she asks you to.
   • You can also monitor her body language to see if she is ready for touch. Defensive body language (clenched fists, crossed arms and legs, avoiding eye contact) may mean that she would like you to back off a little.
8. 8 To avoid this situation, do not insist. Many people feel embarrassed to be around a crying person. If you are not very comfortable either, you can try saying something that (in your opinion) should help before you know what to say. Or you can find a way to somehow avoid this situation. But in this case, the girl will feel even worse. If you're unsure of what to do, try saying something like, "I'm sorry you're upset. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" This will at least show the girl that you care about her and are trying to calm her down.
9. 9 Instead of trying to solve her problem, offer her help. It is very easy to fall into the trap of trying to solve a problem in the way you think is best. However, it is quite possible that she does not want help, or she will need something else, and not what you think. The last thing you want to do is make the situation worse. So suppress the urge to solve her problem on your own because you need to focus on helping her get through the pain and sadness.
   • Show the girl that you are with her, that you are ready to help her, but do not force her. Perhaps, in her understanding, help is just an opportunity to listen to her. Listening to a person is often the best way to calm them down.
   • Ask open-ended questions about how you can help her. For example, ask, "Is there anything I can do to help you?" or "I really want to help. What do you think could fix the situation?" is a good way to start a conversation about how you can lend a helping hand.
   • Sometimes a frustrated girl is so depressed that she cannot even suggest any ways to improve the situation. If this is the case, try making a list of a few specific things you can do for her to help her calm down. For example, you might ask if she wants to go out for ice cream, or if she wants you to stay and watch a movie with her. Notice how she responds to each of your options.
10. 10 Try to actively participate in her problem, if appropriate. You shouldn't try to solve the girl's problems right away. But maybe there are some specific things you can do to help her get through the pain and sadness. If you can really solve her problem (and if she wants to), you can offer her specific help.
    • For example, if your girlfriend is crying because she has a stressful situation at work, you might ask her to do some extra chores herself so she can concentrate on her work. If the girl / woman is crying because she had a fight with her friend, you can talk to her about ways to get back to communicating with her friend.
11. 11 Watch the girl. Over the next few days or weeks after this incident, watch how well she feels from time to time. Do not do this too explicitly and often. Invite her for coffee, ask how she is feeling, or just call her - these are very good and useful ways. It is possible that she will quickly come to her senses. But there is a possibility that it will take time for her to overcome her sadness. Demonstrating your support for her during this period will help her immensely.
12. 12 Take care of yourself. It is very important to be able to empathize, but because of this, you can be heavily loaded with other people's problems and even become depressed. Do not forget to take care of yourself and your health, if you need help - ask others about it.

Method 2 of 2: How to calm down a friend or colleague

1. 1 Show empathy. In general, people often cry right next to their loved ones, and not in front of colleagues, acquaintances or just passers-by. If you are not very close with this girl, but she still cries in front of you, most likely she is really very upset and she really needs support. It is important to show compassion and support, not to get annoyed, not panicked or intimidated.
2. 2 Let her cry. If she just needs you to be around, let her cry. Don't try to make her calm down and stop crying, don't tell her to "shake it up." Crying is natural and can help reduce pain and stress.
   • Remember, there is nothing unprofessional about crying at work. Many people cry from time to time, so it is possible that sooner or later you will cry right in the workplace.
   • If she seems embarrassed to you, tell her something encouraging, such as "It's okay to cry a little" or "There is no shame in crying - we are all human!"
3. 3 Show that you are open to conversation. Since you are not very familiar, it is possible that she will not want to give you all the details. It is possible that you will be a good listener. Ask questions and use open body language to show that you are ready to listen to her if need be. For example, you might say:
   • "I know we're just colleagues, but I'm glad to be your friend if you need someone to talk to. Want to talk?"
   • "If you want to talk about something difficult, my door is always open for you."
   • "Is there anything I can help you with? Even if it's not about work, I'll be happy to hear from you."
4. 4 Be an active listener. If she decides to talk to you about her problems, use active listening techniques to show that you are very attentive to the conversation. That is, you should not interrupt the interlocutor, not offer any solutions, just ask questions to make sure that you understand what the interlocutor is talking about, and also make eye contact and do not interrupt the girl.
5. 5 Show compassion, but remain professional. You need to behave humanly, showing that you care about the girl, but you cannot cross the boundaries established between you, as between colleagues. After all, your professional relationship will continue even after this incident.
   • For example, you shouldn't hug her if she doesn't ask for it herself. If you are going to call her to find out how she is doing, you first need to ask if it is appropriate.
6. 6 Offer your help if the problem is about work. It is possible that your coworker has burst into tears due to problems at work.Perhaps she is worried about some personal problem that prevents her from concentrating on work. In any case, if you are able to help her in the professional field, you can offer some solutions.
   • For example, she may just need a little rest, or she may need help developing a plan for a challenging professional task.
   • Therefore, you should only act if she needs you to do something. It is very easy to fall into the trap of trying to offer your own solutions to this problem in a way that is best for you. However, she may not need your help, or she may need something that you are not even aware of. The last thing you want to do is make things worse.
   • Don't try to get personal. Don't feel like you need to solve your colleague's professional problems. Also, if you don't get too close, don't think you know how to fix her problems. Be there to support and comfort her. Focus on professional issues.
   • If you do not understand how you can help solve the problem, apologize and say that you cannot help with this problem. If you know someone who can help, encourage her to talk to that person and ask him for help.

Tips

• Whatever happens, the most important thing you can offer to a crying woman is your empathy and your willingness to listen. A few more pleasant gestures that you can make for a girl: invite her to dinner, treat her to coffee, take her to the movies. But your presence and attention are the most effective gestures you can offer her.
• Remember, the problem to solve is not crying. The need to cry is just a form of communication.
• The need to cry can embarrass the people around you, but try to overcome this discomfort in order to express your love and care to someone who needs it.

Warnings

• When you try to calm down a crying person, you are acting very noble and selfless. However, sometimes we take everything too personally. If you feel yourself starting to get depressed while trying to calm the person down, take care of yourself and find someone who can help and support you.
• The urge to cry is natural, but sometimes it can be a symptom of a more serious problem (for example, a symptom of anxiety, phobia, or depression). If this girl is constantly crying for no good reason, advise her to see a specialist.