Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Find Approach to the Girl
• Part 2 of 3: How to Improve Her Mood
• Part 3 of 3: Keep Comforting Her
• Tips

It is not always easy to comfort a girl who is upset. She needs a hug, a little affection - or should be left alone. So how do you know how to calm the girl down rather than aggravating the situation? Read this article to find out.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Find Approach to the Girl

1. 1 Find out what happened. Why is the girl upset? Is it something depressing, like the death of your grandfather, or something fixable, like a fight with a friend? The problem can help you determine what it needs the most right now. If she is experiencing real grief, then you should not make her laugh or distract with a funny story; but if she's worried about a relationship with a friend, then you can use a light-hearted approach. But don't talk too much about the reason, or she will get even more angry.
   • Not all problems are the same. The more you know about the situation, the better you will understand how to respond.
2. 2 Find out what she wants. It is important. If she says: "I want to be alone" and she in fact thinks so, then you need to give her time and not aggravate her condition by pestering her when she just wants to be alone. But if she tells you this when she really wants you to stay, then it's harder to understand; if you know her well, you will understand when she wants to cool down, and when she says it only in order not to bother you.
   • Is she often upset or is this the first time you see her like this? If she has been upset before, think about how you reacted earlier so that you can act the same way if it worked.
   • Ask if she wants to talk. Find out if she wants to talk about the problem or if you just give her moral support.
3. 3 Give her some warmth. So, the majority girls need a hug or a little affection when they are upset. This is true if you are dating or if you are so close that she will not take it as a step. Some girls, however, may not want to hug when they are upset, and that's okay too. If you're close, just hug or touch your shoulder, arm, or knee to help her feel better.
   • When she's upset, what she wants most is that you really are there for her, and a little affection will prove it to her.
   • Bring her a napkin, a cup of tea, a warm blanket, and whatever she needs to make her feel more comfortable.

Part 2 of 3: How to Improve Her Mood

1. 1 Let her speak. Most of all she wants to tell how she feels unless she wants to be left alone... So let her get paid, let her talk, let her destroy furniture if she wants to. Don't get in her way and try to make the right decisions, ask a million questions, or just let her tell you what's going on. If she just got upset, then most likely she hasn't let go of the situation yet.
   • Don't try to offer her a million solutions right away. When she wants to hear your advice, she will ask for it. Until then, focus on what she has to say.
   • You may think you know exactly what to do, but now is not the time to interfere.
2. 2 Be a good listener. If a girl is upset, then she most of all wants you to listen to her. She doesn't want to know your thoughts on this topic - she just needs to be heard. So let her talk without interrupting her with questions or comments, make eye contact and only insert small comments like, "I can't imagine how difficult this is for you ..." so that she knows that you really care about her. Let her finish and don't rush her.
   • You can nod and show her that you are worried, but do not nod too actively, or she will think that you are rushing her or pretending.
   • Do not be distructed. Put your phone down, focus on her, and don't wander around the room. She shouldn't think that you are in a hurry.
3. 3 Don't try to play down her problems. If you want a girl to get better, the worst thing you can say is something like, "This is not the end of the world" or "Everything will be fine." Of course, you can understand that she is upset about something insignificant, such as a bad grade on a test or a breakup with a loser with whom they only dated a couple of weeks, but you should not tell her about this, otherwise she it will only get worse. Now she just wants to be sad and talk about her feelings, and not hear that nothing terrible has happened.
   • You may feel like you are helping her by showing her perspective, but you only upset her even more and she may turn her back on you.
   • Now she needs you by her side for support, and not for expressing her opinion.
4. 4 Ask how you can help her. Once she has spoken, you can ask her what you can do to make her feel better. Maybe this is a specific situation that you can help, for example, if she needs to sort out documents, fix a relationship with a friend, or even help save money by fixing something on her own. Maybe you should escort her to an unpleasant place and provide moral support. Or she can cope on her own, but you will always be "in touch" if she needs help.
   • Asking questions will help her understand that you care and want to do something for her. This will make her feel better in this situation.
   • It is likely that she feels lost and alone. If you ask her if she needs help, she will feel loved and desired.
5. 5 Don't try to say that you know how she feels. She wants to be listened to, and not told how she feels now. Maybe she lost her grandfather, like you, and you can say that this happened to you too; if this is such a straightforward situation, you can mention it, but in general, do not try to compare yourself with her, otherwise she will think that you are just fighting for attention. The whole focus is now on her. If she's going through a tough breakup, don't compare her 3-year relationship with your 3-month relationship, or she'll scream out, "It's not the same!"
   • It is best to say: “I cannot imagine what you are going through,” or “I can’t even understand how you feel ...” Often this is the reason, and the girl will feel that her emotions are justified.
6. 6 Tell her that you are sorry that she is so bad. It's cute and simple. Just say, "I'm sorry you're going through this," or "I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult situation." While it's not your fault, a little apology will show that you really empathize with the situation and want things to be different. This will make it easier for her, even if you cannot help.
   • She can say: "You are not guilty of anything!", And you can answer: "I know, but I still feel bad about it." This will make her feel that you are truly on her side.

Part 3 of 3: Keep Comforting Her

1. 1 Just be there for her. Sometimes you cannot help, cannot say or do something to improve the situation. If she gets some really bad news, all you can do is be there and show her that she is not alone. If you had big weekend plans, determine if you can cancel them for her; if she has something to do, ask if you can do it together. Sometimes you can only offer your time and your loving presence. You can't just calm her down and tell her to leave and then be out of reach for a few days, as she will feel abandoned.
   • Show her that she will come first to you. You may have other plans, but do not take your eyes off her.
2. 2 Distract her. She may want to be alone after getting upset, but if you can, try to leave the house with her as often as possible. Even if she does not want to communicate, fresh air will improve her mood and make her forget about problems, at least for a while. Here are some things to try:
   • Invite her to comedy. A light movie will make her laugh and improve her mood for a while.
   • Invite her to dinner or coffee or ice cream. A simple treat will cheer her up. Plus, if she is upset, she may forget to eat and take care of herself. But don't invite her out for a drink - if she's upset, alcohol isn't the best solution.
   • Take a walk with her. Light exercise and fresh air will help her clear her head and focus.
   • Do not invite her to high-profile events with many people, because she may be overwhelmed with emotions that she cannot handle.
3. 3 Carry out her duties. She may be so anxious that she is unable to cope with her daily responsibilities. So bring her a cup of coffee or lunch when she needs it; offer to clean her room if things get out of hand; do your laundry if necessary. If she is upset in class and cannot concentrate, take notes for her. If she needs to refuel, do it for her. It won't take long if you put in a little more effort to help her deal with her emotions.
   • Of course, you shouldn't let her use you. But if you do a few simple tasks for her, it can really help her.
4. 4 Take an interest in her condition. This is an important part of the process. Even after you've discussed everything, you need to offer her your support. Call, write to her, visit her and think about when you can meet again. You don't need to annoy her and ask her about her mood every few hours, but you need to ask about her mood from time to time so that she understands that you care about her.
   • Even a funny note or YouTube video can make her laugh and make her feel special.
   • Be creative. Send her a postcard or a bouquet of sunflowers. Show her that you care about her outside of your conversation.
   • Just show what you think of her. If she wants to be alone, don't try to start the conversation again after a few hours. A small message that shows you care will help you.

Tips

• Tell her that she is your princess and that you love her more than anything and everyone.
• Speak softly.
• Hug her. It will become easier for her.
• Don't tell her that some other girl is "sexy".
• She is your flower, treat her like that.
• Tell her that she is beautiful, even if you (or she) thinks she looks bad, and give her a soft kiss on the cheek.
• Use a variety of methods if you are not a boyfriend but find it difficult to understand your friends' emotions.