Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Examine the Circumstances
• Method 2 of 3: Choose a way to get in touch
• Method 3 of 3: Be Prepared for Potential Rejection

Recovering a long-lost connection with family members can be daunting but also exciting, especially when it comes to a stepbrother (or sister) you've never met.It doesn't matter which of you has been adopted (or adopted), as, in any case, dealing with this situation is like sitting on a powder keg. Use tact to connect with your half-siblings. To do this, carefully consider the variables in your situation, identify the best communication method, and deal with any negative feelings if the communication does not go the way you would like.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Examine the Circumstances

1. 1 Identify your reasons for connecting. Reuniting with long-lost relatives can be an emotional experience (one where the outcome is impossible to predict). Before making contact, it is important to clarify the root cause of this desire.
   • Do you just want the person to know about your existence? Are you suffering from an incurable disease and want to dot the i's? Are you missing another family or a reliable support system? Is this sudden interest triggered by the recent death of one of your parents or grandparents? Consider carefully in advance why you are getting in touch.
   • Do not forget that this has all been hidden for a long time, and the door may not open!
2. 2 Weigh the possible negative consequences. It would be helpful to anticipate the person's reaction. You don't know him, of course, but perhaps if you reproduce the details of why you were split in the first place, you will understand how the likely reunion will go.
   • For example, if you were the secret-born child of a married man's mistress, your acquaintance with half-siblings could lead everyone to know about the affair.
   • If your half-siblings are from a wealthy family, they may disbelieve your motives, assuming you want something from them.
   • Also, if your half-siblings are young and your biological parent is still married, they may not be very happy to learn that their parents' marriage consisted of betrayal.
3. 3 Check with your parents if possible. If one of them is alive or present in your life, then talking to him will most likely help you make a decision. Perhaps he will not approve of your desire to communicate with half-brothers and sisters, or maybe he knows some information about your relatives, which he has not shared with you before.
   • Pick a time when everyone is relaxed and free of distractions and start a conversation. Bring up the topic by saying, “Mom / Dad, I've been thinking a lot about my stepbrothers and sisters lately. As I grow older, I have a strong desire to get to know them. What do you think about it?".
   • Be prepared for the fact that the parent may not want to open this topic.

Method 2 of 3: Choose a way to get in touch

1. 1 Ask your parents for help. In addition to asking the parent's opinion about getting in touch, you can also ask for help in the process. Talk to a common parent. Ask your mom or dad if they would like to help you connect with your siblings.
   • You might say, “I'd really like to get to know my half-brothers and sisters. Can you help me find them and / or establish contact with them? "
2. 2 Find a communication channel. If you live in the same city or region as your half-siblings, or if you have mutual acquaintances, it may be helpful to enlist an ally to help you connect. Ask a relative or family friend to act as a liaison.
   • This person can soften the blow as soon as your family receives news of a brother (or sister) they never knew about. Moreover, this person may also support you if the answer is not what you hoped.
   • Ask this person to contact your half-siblings on your behalf. You can say: “Could you contact Anton and Alina for me? If they are interested, I will be happy to talk to them. Here is my number…".
3. 3 Write a post on social media. Social media has shrunk the world significantly. People living on different parts of the world can connect with each other with a single click of the cursor. If you have the opportunity to find your stepbrothers and sisters on VK, you can send them a friend request, asking them to contact you.
   • Keep your first message short. You can say: “Hello, I am also from the Kirov region! I think we may have a few common acquaintances. "
4. 4 Send an email. If you can find the full names of your half-siblings, chances are you will be able to track down their personal or work email address. People often associate email addresses with their social media profiles. You can find this information there.
   • Email is a more formal way to contact your half-siblings. You can print a longer message there without sounding like a "freak", you will have a better chance of introducing yourself and explaining the circumstances of your relationship with them.
   • In your letter, be sensitive to their reactions, as they are unaware of your existence. Be positive and enthusiastic, but don't assume that they will want to do business with you. “I know this may come as a surprise to you, but we have the same father. I have known this for many years. However, I was recently diagnosed with cancer and it made me want to know you. " Briefly explaining the connection between you and the reasons for establishing it is a good start.

Method 3 of 3: Be Prepared for Potential Rejection

1. 1 Decide whether to persist or give up. There is a fine line between showing interest and invading privacy. It is important to manage the process tactfully so as not to cause undue emotional stress to your stepbrothers or sisters, or yourself. If your first contact ended in silence, is it worth continuing the torture or is it better to retreat?
   • It might be wise to make a few attempts in case previous messages or emails were not noticed or sent to your spam folder. However, if you don't get a response after a few tries, it could be a sign that your half-siblings are reluctant to date you.
   • Even if initially they seem interested, there is still the possibility that the connection could be cut off. Try not to attach great importance to their interest in the early stages, so that later you will not be very upset if they suddenly stop answering messages or calls.
2. 2 Feel your emotions, but don't take rejection personally. You've made the bold decision to contact your half-siblings who don't know you. You had no idea how you would be received, but you took the initiative anyway. It's normal to feel angry, hurt, or frustrated. However, don't let these feelings make you feel bad about yourself.
   • Remember, your brothers and sisters don't really know you. Therefore, their refusal is more likely due to their own fear or surprise at your existence, rather than any fear towards you.
   • If you have loved ones who value your presence in their life, cherish this relationship. And tell yourself: "This is their loss."
   • Keep in mind that even if they are not ready to connect now, they may want to connect in the future. Make sure they have your contact details and that they know the offer is still valid if they want to contact you later.
3. 3 Talk to a psychologist. Despite the realization that the rejection was not something personal, your feelings can still be deeply hurt. Talking to a counselor during this period will help you come to terms with this loss and move on.
   • You may be the only child who just found out that he has siblings.You looked forward to a joyful first meeting that would lead to a deep and lasting relationship. Or, perhaps you just experienced the loss of a parent and needed someone to mourn with. Talk to a therapist who can help you sort out your feelings and deal with rejection.