Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Removing Excessive Significance
• Part 2 of 3: Rediscover Your True Self
• Part 3 of 3: Interacting with Others
• Tips
• Warnings

In a world full of knockout games and cheap imitations, being "real" seems like a bit of a back seat. If you decide to see what the world thinks about you now (and prestigious, by the way!), Start your search right now.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Removing Excessive Significance

1. 1 Spend some time thinking for yourself about who you really are. Not a showcase that you flaunt when meeting people, and not even an image that you present to your family or your close friends. Stay alone and meditate on the topic you... Who are you when you are alone.
   • If this piques your interest, try meditating. Detachment time will not only relax you and reduce your stress levels, you may also have a clearer mind than there was before.
2. 2 Don't pay attention to what the society thinks is acceptable. Every day we see images of what is good. This is constantly changing (which proves that it doesn't really exist). To be yourself, you must give up trying to live by some non-existent standard. No more nerdy, sportsman or hipster, just be yourself. You need a better reason than this.
   • Let go of the urge to fit into any group, clique, or social class. If the real you is who they are looking for, they will come or call you later when you show your true identity.
3. 3 Make a list of truths about yourself. Unfortunately, in the modern world we are so loaded with what society expects from us that sometimes we don't even know who we really are. We spend years (sometimes decades, sometimes a lifetime) shaping ourselves to fit someone else's idea of ​​who we should be, burying who we really are under layers of fluff and masks. Take a moment to write down what you really feel as a person. These can be your deeds or thoughts. It can be anything, as long as it is true.
   • If you have a dozen items list (as simple as "I'm happiest in flip flops" or "I'm an adventurer first"), post it where you will work often. your day, you can see if your behavior is in line with you. ”The differences between what you came up with and what you did / said / thought do not really match you.
4. 4 Think about your family history and culture. We don't always like where we come from, but there is no way to escape the influence of our history on who we are and what we are. Many people spend a lot of time and effort to distance themselves from their past, such as changing the spelling of their names to make them sound more politically correct, or giving other people too much power to change them culturally. Where you came from? After all, your parents shaped you, just as your grandparents did. Consider the following:
   • Your upbringing.What do you remember most vividly from it? How was this different from most people?
   • Your location. How did it shape you? What hobbies and character traits have appeared because of this?
   • Your likes and dislikes. How many of them are in common with your family? How many are there just because they are related to your family?
5. 5 Ditch your toxic friends. It is a natural human need to strive to be surrounded by people, even if these people drain us. But in order to really understand which one of them is a real friend, you need to understand with whom you are happy and natural, and those people who exhaust you should be cut out of your life. That's all there is to it. Give yourself thirty seconds to think about it and you will know exactly who they are.
   • There are people in the world who simply do not fit us. It is difficult to get rid of them, especially when we feel that we are being too cruel. But it is important not to regard such behavior as selfishness. Of course, it’s in your best interest, but if you don’t act in your best interest, no one will do it for you. You are not selfish, you behave logically.
   • Forget all the latest hyped trends if they don't match your real one. They last for months. Why do you think they are changing so quickly? Look at your own style and preference.
6. 6 Quit the game now. It is easy to think that we are honest and sincere, but in order to interact tactfully and appropriately with others, it seems that we have inserted mind games into our everyday communication. It's a little rescue lie when we tell Ole about how people really love her, hinting at how we ask for something from each other because we think it's bad form to ask for too many favors. We are what other people imagine us to be in their understanding. We must get rid of this.
   • The two main proponents of people are being nice and avoiding. If you find yourself sacrificing your happiness in order to please others, then the former applies to you. And if you don't say or do things simply because they will not be approved or you might be potentially embarrassed by them, then this is the second option. These little voices in our heads stopping us are not us; they are part of us, inorganic and eternally teaching.

Part 2 of 3: Rediscover Your True Self

1. 1 Decide what it means to be "real". This may not be as easy as it sounds, given the enormous influence the media has on all of us. Of course, we are all unique individuals, but few, if any, people have absolute resistance to compelling advertiser, media and peer pressure to match. It is so difficult to decide which remedies are genuine for you. The beauty is that you get the choice.
   • Are you real if you follow your fashion style? Does this mean saying whatever comes into your head? Does this mean showing your emotions, no matter what they are? Does this mean ignore what's popular?
2. 2 Spend time with those who blame you. Once you've gotten rid of your toxic friends (we all have them), it shouldn't be too difficult. Who do you crave to hang out with? Who always makes you feel good? And then think about who the person you think of at the very end is.
   • We all have versions of ourselves. Some are "worse" than others because they cannot be the same. The idea is to reveal the best you and make this "better you" constant. And the best you are, of course - you are real, it is obvious.
3. 3 Wake up! Do you know the phrase "stop and smell the roses"? Sort of. Tons of people are stunned by technology, only pretending to live for real. We are not aware of how we come off, what we actually feel, how we influence others, etc. So wake up! Pay attention to the world around us. Stop right now and look around. Check 4 things you didn't notice before.It's crazy how your mind just sifts through stimuli, huh?
   • There is so much going on in our heads that it is sometimes difficult to understand that we are playing these games that we talked about, especially when we played them when we were babies. If that helps, start looking at other people. How do they calm down? How are they expressed? How do they position their bodies? As soon as you notice that other people are not saying or doing what they mean / want, you may notice similar behavior in yourself.
4. 4 Become vulnerable. When you've given up on mind games and socially acceptable behavior, you're bound to feel vulnerable. You will no longer use the same defense mechanisms that were so comfortable before. People are scary stuff. But when you feel vulnerable, know that this is a good thing and that it will go away. You just need to get used to being honest about how you really feel.
   • There is a time and a place for everything. For example, you sit in a chemistry class and receive a swearing text from your mom and you feel like crying is definitely better than holding back the tears and finishing the test. Decide on your priorities in this situation. If Dasha said something that upset you, don't start cheating her if you are upset. Being vulnerable doesn't mean jumping to conclusions! It is still important to use the level of rationality.
5. 5 Be honest. This is a difficult question. Obviously, to be authentic, you have to be honest, but how can you stay honest in the world when it hurts so much? Hell, not even doctors can tell an obese patient that he is fat. So how do you do it? ... Well, very carefully.
   • Let's take the classic example, “Do I look bold in this?” Instead of answering directly, “Yes,” try something like, “Yes, the stripes don't suit you.” You still have to be honest (stripes definitely don't work), but you're shifting the focus to the other side, not the person.
6. 6 Find out the extent of your influence. It's easy to walk the world without realizing how even the tiniest mood can have consequences. A friend is going through a tough time when you're super busy and you kind of give him a twist. You are flirting with someone in front of someone who is in love with you. Plus, your sincerity will influence the people around you. If you use your powers for good, you can create positive effects everywhere.
   • Do you know that guy who walks into a room and you light up? How does his passion seem contagious? This is authenticity. This is 100% him. Powerful stuff. Your influence may be the same.
7. 7 See how you want to look. Let's imagine a scene: zombies are attacking. Everybody died. You have taken refuge in a city that has been abandoned and you can do whatever you want. Literally every door is open for you. Now which shops do you want to go? What do you want to see in the mirror? Now you are real (minus the longing in your eyes and a gun in your hands).
   • Some people take pride in thinking they are cute. They love makeup, they love to do their hair, they love beautiful clothes. This is fine. Others don't. It's also great. If you want to wear a jumpsuit and not comb your hair, the flag is in your hands! If you want to carry a trainer wallet and buy expensive cosmetics, go ahead! Just make sure you do it for yourself.

Part 3 of 3: Interacting with Others

1. 1 Be realistic. Many of us are busy with our own ideas - the transmission of pictures that we want to convey instead of who we really are. We want to convince people that we are macho or lady or intellectual or anti-conformist. Give it up! Show your true self. If you feel something, feel it openly!
   • Most of us are guilty of trying to look cool. It's not real. If you spent the day playing bridge with your grandmother, talk about how you spent the day playing bridge with your grandmother. You have nothing to hide.It is exhausting work anyway.
2. 2 Focus on one person at a time. When speaking in front of a large group of people, it can be tempting to scan the audience across the entire surface. And many do it. But the best way to do this is to make eye contact with one person at a time. Imagine Barack Obama meeting your eyes! He sees you! For real! Instead of automatically glancing over the entire audience, he makes direct contact. So. Too much. Cool. The same feeling should be applied to your life.
   • The next time you're in a group of people, focus on one at a time. You cannot fully appreciate a person and expand your true self when you are trying to be distracted by more than one person. Not only will you be able to be real, but that other person will remain fascinated by your social skills.
3. 3 Say what you mean and bear in mind what you say. Flattery, gossip, or in other words, something that helps fit into the situation is innocence. We are all to blame for this at one time or another, even if we have good intentions (we don't want to embarrass ourselves, etc.). The only thing you can do is be aware of your desires and behaviors and decide to use them as honestly as possible.
   • There will always be haters. There are many people who will be intimidated by your honesty and your mentality as it really is. As long as you are not cruel to them, this is their problem. Most people like us hope that their revelations will be appreciated. Few are brave enough to do this.
4. 4 Smile, a smile is natural. But don't put a camouflage smile on your face to fit the situation. The same goes for the entire spectrum of emotions; if you are going to show the world your real self, the world must see it all. Thus, when you do this, you will mean so much more.
   • The same broad feeling applies to actions. If you don't want to do this, don't! If you are not thirsty, do not drink. If you don't want to go to the club, don't. If you don't want to do something that your group doesn't understand, then so be it. There are better ways to spend your time, alone or with another group of friends.
5. 5 Don't use power pose. It is very tempting to assert your authority when communicating with others, whether verbally or through body language. We straighten our shoulders, cover our bodies and make people come to us. You can't do this anymore! This is another kind of game. There can be no concern about how we look or about our pride when we strive to be authentic.
   • When you meet someone, be nice. They are not a threat to you unless they have a pistol pointed at your head. And if so, straighten your shoulders.
   • Displaying confidence is good. However, there is a line between natural confidence and ostentatiousness. If you feel completely relaxed, your trust is exactly where it should be.
6. 6 Don't make it a competition. There is no need to flash the tape measure when you are talking to someone. When someone starts missing names, don't bite. This is the game they play. This is insincere and shows their low self-esteem. A shame. Resist the urge to tell the story of how you got the Snoop Lion in check at the bus stop.
   • Unfortunately, many of us are guilty of trying to make ourselves look good when we go to a meeting. We are totally different from ourselves when we try to impress or be a bit of a braggart by showing off our accomplishments. Interaction doesn't work like that. The next time someone says, "Yes, I just got a cool promotion," just congratulate them and move on. That's all you need to do.
7. 7 Don't force people. Sometimes there are people we just don't jive with. It happens that we are unable to truly be authentic with someone, because interacting with them just seems ...fake. If you are faced with this situation, do not force the person. Maybe this person is not meant to appear in your life right now, and that's okay. Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely, but definitely not right now.
8. 8 Give genuine compliments. If you were to die tomorrow, for sure, you would have regrets that you did not tell someone how much you cared about them. It would be a shame to live so, to squander restraint! Let people know how much you value them. You will receive the same in return!
   • If you give fake compliments just to achieve some goal of your own, without an actual need, you will get a hint that your behavior is not genuine. You may need to feel the other person's emotions first.
9. 9 Reflect on yourself. Now that you've spent some time digesting your actions with people and the world in general, take a moment to think about it. What are you struggling with? Can you see any changes already? Think about the fact that a couple of times today you were real and a couple of times, perhaps you have become better. What can you strive for tomorrow?
   • If that helps, make a list of the people you think are real. It is sometimes difficult to understand our real behavior. It's much easier to imitate someone else!
   • Look in the mirror at the beginning of each day. Consider that this is something that everyone who looks at you will see, and then decide whether to let them see you like this or not. When you do this, you will be completely free and will feel right at home.

Tips

• Remember that not everyone appreciates authenticity, and some may interpret it as naivety or simplicity.
• Politely decline if you're asked to go outside your comfort zone, especially in areas that might compromise your integrity or entail stupid risks.

Warnings

• When you become real, people will treat you differently.
• Don't try to make big changes in your behavior too quickly. Take your time getting to know yourself and focus on becoming yourself slowly and naturally. Show a little weakness.