Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Build Your Self-Esteem
• Method 2 of 3: How to Increase Your Popularity
• Method 3 of 3: How to Become the Life of the Party
• Tips

Low self-esteem can make life very difficult. If you are feeling insecure, it is extremely difficult for you to communicate and cooperate with other people. Fortunately, there is a lot you can do to become the kind of person everyone would love to hang out with, even if you have low self-esteem.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Build Your Self-Esteem

1. 1 List your accomplishments. If you have low self-esteem, you can easily forget about your accomplishments. Take a piece of paper and retire with it for 20 minutes. Write down all your achievements. Write everything down. There can be no achievements that are too big or too small on this list.
   • For example, he wrote a test, completed a project at school, got on the list of excellent students, became a soloist in a music group. These are all your achievements.
   • This exercise can be repeated any time you have negative feelings about yourself.
2. 2 Convert your negative thoughts into positive ones. The more negative you hear about yourself, the more you will believe him. Often these thoughts are not true. Make a list of your negative thoughts about yourself, and then write a positive counter-statement for each such thought.
   • If you think, "I am a failure," translate that thought into saying, "I am successful in many ways." If you wrote, "Nobody cares about me," replace that statement with "I have a lot of people who care about me."
   • Read any positive statements aloud. Keep a list next to your bed. Review it every day.
3. 3 Stop comparing yourself to other people. It is possible that when you look at the other person, you think that you are not important enough, attractive enough, perfect enough. But you do not really know how this other person lives, what he really feels like. The only person you can compare yourself to is yourself.
   • Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Some of your weaknesses can be worked on. For example, you may have such a weakness: you are always and everywhere late. But it’s quite possible to learn how to arrive on time.
   • If you focus on yourself, you will pay less attention to others.
4. 4 Set realistic goals for yourself. Keep your goals small and achievable. You should not set yourself deliberately unattainable goals. Achieving goals is a process in which you can experience downsides and delays in completing plans. But never give up, keep moving forward.
   • If you've never trained, and then suddenly decide to run a marathon in a month, then you set yourself an impossible goal in advance and doom yourself to failure. It would be more realistic to first set a goal to run 5 km in three months, and then gradually increase the distance.
   • Use SMART goals. This will help you set realistic goals for yourself.
5. 5 Take care of your physical health. Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat right. All this will make you feel better and relate to yourself better. Exercise promotes the production of endorphins, which can lift your mood. If you don't get enough sleep, your negative feelings about yourself become even more intense. A balanced diet rich in vegetables and fruits can also improve your mood.
   • Try to work out at least 30 minutes a day.
   • Typically, people need 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. In adolescence, even more sleep is required, 8-10 hours per night.
6. 6 Do what you like. Try to do at least one thing every day that pleases you. Go for a walk, watch TV, read a magazine, listen to music, chat with friends. When chatting with friends, make sure they are positive people who help you think better of yourself.
   • You can do something nice to someone close to you (for example, send someone a postcard, smile, provide voluntary help). If you do something good for the other person, then you yourself will feel better.
   • Activities that you enjoy can also help you take care of yourself.

Method 2 of 3: How to Increase Your Popularity

1. 1 Be easy to talk to. If people near you feel good, if they can relax, be themselves, then they will want to spend time with you. Try to be in a positive mood when other people are around you. Try to never say bad things about other people, gossip, complain, or talk about your own problems all the time.
   • Being positive doesn't mean ignoring problems. You just have to try to see the bright side in everything.
   • Even if you had a bad day, try to remember at least one thing that was good with you. If you are asked how your day went, you can say: "It was not a very good day, but I read the funniest article. Would you like me to tell you?" It can be admitted that the day was not the best, but still there was something good in it, which you can talk about.
   • Always try to say something good and encourage people around you.
2. 2 Learn to listen well. If you take an interest in what you are being told, people will be drawn to you. If someone is talking to you, do not interrupt the person and do not think what you will say in return. Concentrate on what the other person is saying to you and maintain eye contact with them.
   • If you are talking to someone, try to hear the "what" and "why." What is your interlocutor trying to tell you? Why is he telling you this?
   • Let the other person lead the conversation. Nod your head, say "yes" or "I understand" so that the other person knows that you are listening to him.
   • If someone is talking about a topic you don't know, ask questions to keep the conversation going and to learn more yourself. You might say, "This is very interesting. How did you know about this?"
   • If your self-esteem has dropped and you do not want to talk about yourself, you can ask your interlocutor questions about him.
3. 3 Try to show a sense of humor. Everyone likes a good sense of humor. People love to be around those who make them laugh and don't take life too seriously. But this does not mean at all that you need to hand out jokes left and right.
   • Try not to get upset, but, on the contrary, look for something funny or funny in your everyday life. For example, if you fell down a ladder, try not to get upset or upset, but joke about how it feels to be awkward, or tell the floor that the floor is wobbling.
   • Watch comedy and comedy TV shows, hang out with funny people, read humorous literature. All of these will help you develop a sense of humor.
4. 4 Be yourself. Don't try to change yourself to please people. You are a unique person, you have something to offer the world. Trying to change yourself will only stress you out and prevent people from loving you for who you are. Be honest about what you like and what you don't like, and don't hide who you are.
   • People tend to feel insincere, and this is repulsive.
   • Typically, people are attracted to exactly what makes a person unique (this could be your sense of humor, your personal style, mysterious laughter, and so on).
5. 5 Don't focus on popularity alone. If you only strive for popularity, then you risk starting to do everything to only please people and impress them. This tactic may work for a while, but it won't be successful in the long run.
   • Learn to express your true self.
   • If your self-esteem depends on the attitudes of other people, then in the end you will feel even worse and even more lonely.

Method 3 of 3: How to Become the Life of the Party

1. 1 Learn to start a conversation. Sociable people know how to strike up a conversation with different people. Such communication can cause discomfort and even fear. Smile, maintain eye contact, and start the conversation with a phrase that is appropriate for the situation.
   • You can always compliment. You can start like this: "I love your ____ so much, where did you get this?"
   • Or you can just introduce yourself: "Hi, my name is ___."
   • If you are in a museum or at an exhibition, you might start off like this: "Oh! Wonderful piece. Do you know this artist? Where else can you see his work?"
   • Having a couple of phrases ready to start a conversation will help you not get too nervous when talking to new people.
2. 2 Maintain eye contact while talking. Eye contact is worth learning. If you have low self-esteem, this can be especially difficult for you. Start with 5 seconds, then gradually increase the time. To break eye contact, look at some other part of the other person's face (never look below the chin or over the shoulder). Then look into your eyes again.
   • Eye contact shows the person that you are interested in them and creates an invisible connection.
   • Try to look more into the eyes of the other person while they are talking, and a little less when you are talking.
3. 3 Smile at people. When meeting people, look them in the eyes and smile. This will make you more attractive and the other person will enjoy talking to you. A smile can also cheer you up. If you smile at a person, he may smile back at you, because smiling is contagious.
   • A sincere smile will attract people to you and help you make new friends.
   • Smiling signals to people that you are a happy and positive person. Namely to such people and are drawn.

Tips

• Remember, restoring self-esteem is a process. You can only raise your self-esteem if you do something. Start with small positive changes that will cheer you up. Improve yourself and your life systematically.
• Good self-esteem helps in all areas of life.
• Keep a journal and write down your personal qualities, always listen to your inner voice.
• In any case, try to avoid those who seek to humiliate you, who do not let you relax and make you painfully aware of your low self-esteem.